Friendship.
Sometimes, the part about growing up that sucks is how friendships flexs. Either into nothing or something stronger. Right now, I'm in the part where I can't seem to find hair or hide of my close friends. They all come out of the woodwork to let me know what is going on in their life, ask for my advice, rant to someone, or cry on my shoulder, but times that I'm attempting to open the door or windows to my soul, (such as now) it just feels like they are the ones shutting it for me this time.
Granted, I do have a hard time giving up personal info to people, at least things that really matter down deep inside. Why? because I feel that it would be tossed aside as an unimportant issue (as is what I'm feeling, is the case, right now) or I feel that to do so would make me to intensely vulnerable. I do constantly get affectionately scolded for 'not letting people in' so okay buds...where the fuck are you now?
So is what I reveal just too much? I really don't know, I don't seem to think that they are of any consequences to what I think people suffer out there but I still want to be heard every once in awhile. Is that too much to ask for? When did I train people to back off when it comes to my story telling time? Go figure, but sometimes I feel like I'm going to burst if none of my friends give me the time of day just to let it all out. Usually all I want is that ear, a few minutes of a friend's time, a shoulder to cry on.
Right now though, I feel really deserted by my 'close friends' and disappointed in what I'm seeing.
Granted, I do have a hard time giving up personal info to people, at least things that really matter down deep inside. Why? because I feel that it would be tossed aside as an unimportant issue (as is what I'm feeling, is the case, right now) or I feel that to do so would make me to intensely vulnerable. I do constantly get affectionately scolded for 'not letting people in' so okay buds...where the fuck are you now?
So is what I reveal just too much? I really don't know, I don't seem to think that they are of any consequences to what I think people suffer out there but I still want to be heard every once in awhile. Is that too much to ask for? When did I train people to back off when it comes to my story telling time? Go figure, but sometimes I feel like I'm going to burst if none of my friends give me the time of day just to let it all out. Usually all I want is that ear, a few minutes of a friend's time, a shoulder to cry on.
Right now though, I feel really deserted by my 'close friends' and disappointed in what I'm seeing.