When in Rome Commentary
Last one, unless someone wants to request another commentary.
urania_calliope asked for When in Rome chapter 4. My comments are in red.
When in Rome, Chapter 4
My beta, clawofcat, came up with the title for this one.
Angel stepped off the elevator, rubbing at his chest where he’d been branded by the Circle of the Black Thorn. Preoccupied with his thoughts, he didn’t take notice of his surroundings, and so was caught off-guard when Gunn punched him as soon as he walked through the door to his office. It was a hard hit for a human, and he stumbled backwards, realizing that his colleagues were fanned out in front of him, all of them armed - Gunn with a sword, Wesley with a shotgun, and Lorne with a crossbow.
I kind of wish I hadn't leaned so heavily on the Angel episodes in the latter half of this fic. I had it in my head that all that stuff from the show would be happening in LA, but there'd be differences without Spike - but as I got into writing it, I sort of felt compelled to explain every single thing that changed, like describing this whole scene just so Gunn can throw Spike's punch and Wesley can say some of his lines, and probably incorporated more from the episodes than I needed to. I mean, you've already seen the eps, so you know what happens; you don't really need me to tell you. I think clawofcat probably let me get away with it because she's not very familiar with the Angel episodes and probably had no idea how much came from the actual script.
“Careful,” he warned them, recovering from the unexpected attack. “You don’t wanna get yourselves hurt.”
“We know what you’ve been doing,” Gunn said accusingly. “Giving up the baby to the Fell Brethren, working for Senator Bitch, trying to take out Drogyn to cover up what you did to Fred. And for what? To get in bed with the Circle of the Black Thorn?”
Angel nodded. “So you figured it out.”
“Yeah,” Lorne replied. “A little singing from a jailbird we know… and loathe.”
“Lindsey?” He scoffed. “And you believed him?”
“Doesn’t have a reason to lie,” Gunn pointed out.
“Doesn’t need one,” Angel shot back.
Wesley’s eyes narrowed. “Unlike you?”
“What I do here is my business. You don’t like how I conduct it, you can leave… before I kill you.”
You know, reading it over, this dialogue seems so stilted. I haven't watched the episode in a long time, so I can't recall if the delivery makes it better, but on top of the fact that it comes directly from the show, I kind of cringe that I didn't try to make it sound better when I was writing.
“Kill us? Hard to believe we’re having trouble trusting you,” Wesley remarked dryly.
“Just telling it like it is,” Angel shrugged.
Wesley cocked his shotgun. “Then we have a problem.”
“I guess we do,” Angel replied, and then all hell broke loose. They grappled for a few minutes, all of them attacking the vampire as he fiercely rebuffed their attempts. Finally, gaining the upper hand with Lorne as his hostage, Angel pulled a crystal out of his pocket and uttered a Latin word that sent a pulse through the room. Glamour in place, he told them everything - how he’d framed himself for Fred’s death so that the Black Thorn would believe he’d sacrifice one of his own people, how he’d set up Drogyn to cause conflict between himself and his closest friends, and how Cordelia’s kiss had given him a vision - and a plan.
“We are weak,” Angel told them. “The powerful control everything… except our will to choose. Look, Lindsey’s a pathetic halfwit, but he was right about one thing. Heroes don’t accept the way the world is. The Senior Partners may be eternal, but we can make their existence painful.”
“You wanna take them on,” Wesley concluded.
“We’re in a machine. The Black Thorn runs it. We can bring their gears to a grinding halt, even if it's just for a moment.”
Gunn nodded slowly. “About time we got our hands dirty.”
“This isn’t a keep-fighting-the-good-fight kind of deal,” Angel warned. “Let’s be clear. I’m talking about killing every… single… member of the Black Thorn. We don’t walk away from that.”
Lorne looked at him nervously. “Do we crawl away, at least?”
Angel shook his head. “We do this, the Senior Partners will rain their full wrath. They’ll make an example of us. I’m talking full-on hell, not the basic fire-and-brimstone kind we’re used to.”
“We know the drill,” Gunn said.
“No, you don’t. Ten to one, we’re gone when the smoke clears. They will do everything in their power to destroy us. So… I need you to be sure. Power endures. We can’t bring down the Senior Partners, but for one bright, shining moment, we can show them that they don’t own us. You need to decide for yourselves if that’s worth dying for. I can’t order you to do this. I can’t do it without you.”
Gunn, Wesley, and Lorne exchanged several long looks, considering everything Angel had told them.
“What do you think?” Angel asked.
Gunn met his eyes. “I think we’re gonna need Spike.”
And there it is. The main reason I wanted to use this scene is for that line. Not sure it was worth it. I probably could've cut in sometime near the end of Angel's speech and it would've had the same effect.
*****
“So, how does it feel?”
Spike looked up from where he was fiddling with his lighter and saw the decoy Buffy standing in the doorway. “What’s that, pet?”
“You’re going to see her again. Are you nervous?”
“Nah,” he replied, as she took a seat on the sofa next to him. “Yeah,” he admitted a moment later.
“What are you gonna say?”
“Haven’t thought about it.” Spike tilted his head to one side. “That’s not true. Was all I thought about, at first. Back when I was a ghost, when I couldn’t get to her. Seemed easier back then, to know what I wanted.”
I tend to think what happened was that Spike thought so much about what he was going to say (and what Buffy would say back) that he ended up talking himself out of going to see her. If he'd been able to just go right away and blurt out the first thing that popped into his head, it would've been fine. But he had time to think about it and consider the options, and he's figured out it could go one of two ways. She could just reject him outright, which I'm sure he has no desire to face again. Or she could accept him, not out of love but out of obligation, because she said something in the heat of the moment to a dying man, who turned out to be not so dead, and she can't take it back, so now she's stuck with it. Stuck with him. And they're back in a one-sided relationship, which was pretty ugly the first time around, and I'm sure he has no desire to repeat it.
Now he's really getting the chance to see her, and those are still probably the two most likely options in his mind. No wonder the poor boy's nervous.
The girl shrugged. “You could practice on me if you want.”
Spike shook his head firmly. “No. You’re not goin’ to be a stand-in for her anymore.” He shifted so he could look her in the eye. “I promise. Not if I can help it.”
She stared at him for a moment, awed, before her face broke out in a smile. Flinging her arms around his neck, she kissed him briefly on the lips, and then pressed her cheek against his. “Thank you,” she whispered in his ear.
I kind of love decoy Buffy in this fic, and I wish I could write more about her. She's tragic, much like Buffy in a sense - sacrificing her whole life in the name of duty. She can't even tell people her own name, can't make her own friends, and she's forced to hang out with the Immortal, who's only spending time with her because the Council is paying him (and I admit, there was a bit of "friend of the pretty girls" syndrome creeping in when I wrote her as being the one girl the Immortal doesn't bother to flirt with).
It's also probably no surprise that The Chain is one of the few issues of the season 8 comics I actually liked, as it deals with similar themes of identity and duty and sacrifice from the perspective of the other decoy.
“I know you can’t really do much,” she admitted, pulling away from him. “Not if Mr. Giles orders me to go back. But you’re the first person who ever cared enough to try.”
“Never could resist a lady in distress,” Spike said wryly.
This comes from the Dresden Files, and I've always thought it suited Spike to a T: "I could never resist going to the aid of a lady in distress, even if she wasn't completely, one hundred percent sure that she wanted to be rescued."
“You don’t like Mr. Giles much, do you?”
He gave her a sidelong glance. “Observant little chit, you are.”
“It’s not just about me, either. You guys have… history.”
“That we do, pet.”
She just stared at him expectantly. “Well?”
Spike sighed. “Was about a girl. Fred. She was the sweetest little…” He trailed off, swallowing hard. “Meant a lot to me - to all of us. An’ one day a god hollowed her out, stole her body and consumed her soul. We asked Rupert for help.”
“And he wouldn’t?”
Spike just flexed his jaw in response, as though to speak the words would unleash anger better kept in check. Then, he shrugged. “Also, he tried to have me killed this one time. Never really liked him much after that.”
Heh. I love how Fred gets his righteous anger up, but Giles trying to kill him is just tacked on as an afterthought.
*****
“The decoy operation in Rome has been suspended,” Giles informed the Scoobies, again on speakerphone as he communicated with the core leadership of the Council.
I actually have no idea where Giles is supposed to be in this fic, but we know from the season 8 comics that he's not at the castle in Scotland and he's not in Rome, so he is perpetually on speakerphone throughout this whole fic.
Xander, Willow, and Buffy exchanged concerned glances at his words, and Buffy went pale, immediately fearing the worst.
“Why?” Willow asked. “What happened?”
“In the past twenty-four hours, there have been two attempts on Buffy’s life. We’re uncertain whether the Immortal was involved -”
“I never trusted him anyway,” Xander interrupted. “Why’d Andrew think it’d be such a great idea?”
Because he thought it was funny, of course, given Angel's history with the Immortal... But he clearly didn't tell Buffy that, so I'm assuming he didn't tell anyone else, either.
Buffy and Willow shushed him, trying to listen to Giles, who was continuing as though he hadn’t been interrupted. “…but we do have one of the assassins in custody.”
“Oh, my God,” Buffy murmured, as a sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.
“Buffy, they’ve no idea you’re in Scotland,” Giles assured her. “There’s no need for you to worry.”
“No need for me to worry?” Buffy snapped. “Giles, if that girl dies, it’ll be because of me! I told you this was a bad -”
I can't remember if it was my beta or some of the readers commenting on an earlier chapter, but people definitely had issues with the fact that Buffy would allow this decoy program to operate. Well, she obviously allows it in canon, since I got it directly from the comics, but I tend to think she probably doesn't know all the details of the operation, or just how much these girls are risking their lives by pretending to be her. I also think it's something she was talked into by Giles and Xander in order to protect her, but it never totally sat well with her. I would bet that after meeting this decoy when she arrives in Scotland, Buffy would put an end to the whole thing.
“Buffy, she’s fine,” Giles broke in. “A broken arm that’ll be healed in a day or so, that’s all. Still, I thought it best that she and… her new companion return to the castle until the situation is resolved.”
Xander raised his eyebrows. “What new companion?”
“We weren’t sure the Immortal could be trusted. Since the first attack, we’ve had… well, we’ve had Spike guarding the girl.”
Buffy collapsed back in her chair, stunned. Suddenly, her world was tilted on its axis, and all the emotions she thought she’d buried after Sunnydale came flooding back.
Originally, I don't think I intended to show this moment, although it's a little fuzzy since I started writing this fic with no idea where it would go. I always meant it to be about Spike and not the Spuffy relationship, but it's kind of hard to separate those two. But I definitely knew they weren't going to meet at all in the fic, and so I ended up going for the tragic near-miss, where they're so close to being reunited and then Spike chooses to go back to LA instead.
Willow glanced over at her speechless best friend, and then hesitantly asked, “What did you say?”
“Spike is alive,” Giles confirmed. “He’s been working with Angel in Los Angeles.”
“Whoa - Angel?” Xander’s face darkened suspiciously. “You mean Spike’s working with that law firm, too? Is he evil again?”
“I can’t be certain. Andrew and the decoy seem to trust him -”
Xander rolled his eyes. “Andrew’s always had a little… thing for Spike.”
“Well, maybe we should give him the benefit of the doubt, you know?” Willow jumped in. “I mean, just ’cause you were evil once in your life doesn’t mean you’re gonna go all dark again at the first little temptation.”
Hahaha, I love defensive Willow.
“I rather agree with Willow,” Giles said. “He did save the world, and it’s possible he’s merely fallen in with the wrong people, due to some misguided familial loyalty to Angel. I thought perhaps, in the right company, he could be persuaded to continue fighting on the side of good.”
I wanted Giles to not be totally anti-Spike here. True, he did try to have Spike killed, but Giles is practical to a fault, and it's hard to argue with sacrificing yourself to save the world.
“Or, he might try to kill us all,” Xander said flippantly. “Not that that’d be new or anything.”
“Xander!” Willow glanced over at Buffy, who hadn’t said a word since Giles had broken the news. She was staring into space, her face drawn and her jaw clenched as though she were holding herself tightly together, and could fly apart at any moment. “Buffy, are you okay?”
Buffy glanced up at the question, a haunted expression on her face, but she didn’t respond.
On the speakerphone, Giles was outlining his intentions for Spike. “I think the best thing to do is to separate him from Angel and his associates, until we know more. Perhaps Spike will be able to give us some inside knowledge of what’s really going on in Los Angeles. He could be a vital asset.”
He may have come around on Spike, but Giles is definitely down on W&H. Of course, that's canon - his refusal to help with Fred, Andrew's "no one trusts you anymore" - so it's hard to claim otherwise. Not that I totally blame him, since it was a pretty questionable decision for Angel to take over, especially since no one knows why he really did it.
“How long?” Buffy asked, almost as though she were speaking to herself, her voice so soft that Giles didn’t hear her at all, continuing to discuss his plans.
“Giles, be quiet,” Willow interrupted, turning back to Buffy. “Buffy, what did you say?”
“How long?” she repeated, louder this time. “How long has he been back?”
“I don’t know,” Giles admitted. “Only Andrew’s spoken to him about it. A few months, at least.”
“How long have you known?” she pressed.
“A - a few weeks. Buffy -”
Before he could finish, Buffy shoved away from the table, the metal chair scraping across the floor, and ran out of the room. With a troubled glance at Xander, Willow took off after her.
“Uh, Giles?” Xander said, looking after the two women. “We’re gonna have to call you back.” Without waiting for the Watcher to say goodbye, he hung up the phone and ran after Buffy and Willow.
Willow caught up to her in the hall, grabbing Buffy by the arm. “Buffy, what are you doing?”
“I’m going to Rome,” she replied with determination, yanking her arm out of Willow’s grasp.
“Buff, you can’t,” Xander protested, skidding to a halt behind Willow.
“Don’t tell me what to do!”
Xander put his hands on Buffy’s shoulders, gently but firmly forcing her to look at him. “Buffy. Listen to me. You can’t go to Rome.” When she started to interrupt, he shook his head and plowed on. “First of all, one of you is already there. And second, somebody there’s trying to kill you, remember? I can’t let you leave.”
I kind of wonder how exactly Xander would have prevented her from leaving if she'd really wanted to. I suppose he could sic a whole pack of slayers on her, but still... Buffy's a tough one to dissuade when she's determined.
“They’re bringing them here, Buffy,” Willow reminded her. “He’ll be here in a few hours.”
“Why didn’t anybody tell me?” she demanded. “Why didn’t anyone tell me he was alive?”
“We didn’t know, Buff,” Xander replied apologetically.
“Giles knew,” Buffy shot back. “Andrew knew! I’m the head Slayer here, right? They didn’t think to keep me in the loop?” She whirled around and punched the wall before either of her friends could hold her back, the old Scottish stone cracking under the force of the blow.
There's a parallel here to Spike punching the crypt wall after learning that Buffy was back from the dead. Also, as I recall, much of this bit with Buffy, Willow, and Xander was rewritten, because Buffy was weepier and less angry, and the whole thing came across a little bit soggy.
“That bastard,” she said, staring down at her torn, bleeding knuckles. “Why didn’t he tell me himself?”
It hurt, not to be the first one Spike turned to, to hear that he’d been with Angel for God knows how long and never tried to contact her. She opened her eyes wide and took deep breaths, trying to hold back the tears of frustration and anger and disappointment that welled up at the thought. She knew what he’d said in the Hellmouth, but she thought - well, she didn’t know what she thought, had never been able to settle on an explanation that didn’t break her heart.
I actually kind of like the irony that while Spike really did mean it when he said she didn't love him, Buffy might actually side with all the romantics in the audience who thought he was just trying to make it easier for her to go or convincing himself he needed to stay or whatever. Having rewatched the scene not too long ago in the context of a discussion on this very topic, it struck me that Buffy looks kind of confused, like she's not really sure how to take Spike's words. Obviously, once she's out of the moment and had time to think, it would be more comforting for her to take the romantic view than to believe he really died thinking she didn't love him.
But she’d always believed that if, somehow… if he came back, he’d still…
“I’m sorry, Buffy,” Willow said, gently taking Buffy’s hand in hers, healing it with magic. “But he’ll be here soon, right?”
Or not. I really am kind of evil, aren't I?
*****
Spike strode purposefully across the tarmac at dusk, one hand on the small of the decoy’s back, Andrew trailing along behind. His leather duster streamed out behind him, lending him an air of invincibility, but the confident act was merely an attempt to quell the raging nerves inside him.
I imagine this being very superhero-y, with the power walk and all, except with Andrew tagging along in a "which of these just doesn't belong?" kind of way.
Buffy. He had to repeat it over and over in his head, to convince himself that this was really happening.
As he headed toward the idling plane, he noticed another private jet, with a logo that was all too familiar.
“Hold up a minute, pet,” he said, watching as a single figure disembarked and crossed the landing strip.
I had no idea what the plot of this fic would be, but I had this image of the two of them meeting on the landing strip in my head as soon as I decided Spike would stay in Rome for a while. I knew it'd be Gunn who brought him back, though I really can't say why, since Spike and Gunn's relationship wasn't terribly well-developed. Of course, it wasn't going to be Angel himself who came, and other than him, none of Spike's relationships with the other characters are all that well-developed.
“Charlie,” Spike greeted Gunn as he approached, his tailored suit jacket unbuttoned and flapping in the wind.
I love lawyer!Gunn, if only because J. August Richards looks hot in a suit.
“Have a nice vacation, Blondie?” the young lawyer retorted, eying the girl at his side.
Spike exchanged a long-suffering look with not-Buffy. “I’ve been attacked and blown up more times than I can count. I’ll be absolutely thrilled to get out of this godforsaken country.”
LOL, poor Spike. He's had a horrendous, taxing time, and Gunn's all thinking he was having a ball and picking up chicks.
“Good,” Gunn replied, all joviality abruptly vanishing as his tone and expression grew serious. He lowered his voice. “Something’s going down, Spike. Something big. Angel’s takin’ ’em all out.”
“All… who?”
“Circle of the Black Thorn.” When Spike just raised his eyebrows expectantly, Gunn explained, “Secret society, basically the instrument of the Senior Partners in this dimension. All you gotta know is, what Angel’s planning is gonna piss off the Senior Partners something fierce, and they will rain down hell in return.”
Spike nodded slowly, taking in his words. “Going up against the Senior Partners, eh? There’s no coming back from this one, is there? This is it, the final show.”
Gunn shook his head. Spike glanced back toward the Council’s plane, wondering if he had time to make the flight to Scotland and see Buffy before he went back to L.A. She’d probably hate him for it, but at least he’d get a chance to say goodbye.
Oh, man. I wonder which she'd hate more - finding out he died again without coming to see her, or him showing up and dangling the idea of a future together in front of her, only to snatch it away when he left. Of course, if she knew there was a fight going down in LA, she'd have been on the plane with them whether they wanted her or not.
“There’s no time,” Gunn said, reading his mind. “This goes down tonight.”
Spike worked his jaw, shifting his weight from one foot to the other with indecision. “This is the good fight?” he asked. “What Angel’s doing… this is something worth fightin’ for?”
Gunn shrugged, vaguely affirmative, not that it mattered. Spike already knew that he would follow Angel into hell. He was family.
He turned to the decoy, and she immediately understood. Her eyes welled with tears, and she wanted to tell him not to go, but if she’d learned anything about Spike in their time together, it was that he was a hero, and he would do what was necessary, regardless of what it cost him. She threw her arms around him again, hugging him tightly. Just before she pulled away, she whispered something in his ear.
“What was that, pet?” Spike asked.
“That’s my real name.”
This was clawofcat's suggestion. She thought it conveyed the intimacy and friendship they've developed over this short time, that she confides in him something she can't really tell anyone.
He tilted his head to one side, and then smiled. Before he could respond, Andrew had flung himself at Spike, gripping him tightly around the waist and burying his face in the vampire’s chest. Spike gave the decoy a horrified look over Andrew’s head, and she giggled.
“Oh, Spike, my brave warrior,” Andrew cried. “I have faith in you.”
I love writing Andrew's Spike-crush so very, very much.
Extricating himself from Andrew’s embrace, Spike looked back at the Slayer one last time.
“Tell Buffy… I’m sorry.”
Maybe it was better this way. They’d never really been good at goodbyes.
The decoy nodded and gave him a sad little wave. Then, Spike turned to Gunn, and the two of them crossed the tarmac together, headed toward the apocalypse.
urania_calliope asked for When in Rome chapter 4. My comments are in red.
When in Rome, Chapter 4
My beta, clawofcat, came up with the title for this one.
Angel stepped off the elevator, rubbing at his chest where he’d been branded by the Circle of the Black Thorn. Preoccupied with his thoughts, he didn’t take notice of his surroundings, and so was caught off-guard when Gunn punched him as soon as he walked through the door to his office. It was a hard hit for a human, and he stumbled backwards, realizing that his colleagues were fanned out in front of him, all of them armed - Gunn with a sword, Wesley with a shotgun, and Lorne with a crossbow.
I kind of wish I hadn't leaned so heavily on the Angel episodes in the latter half of this fic. I had it in my head that all that stuff from the show would be happening in LA, but there'd be differences without Spike - but as I got into writing it, I sort of felt compelled to explain every single thing that changed, like describing this whole scene just so Gunn can throw Spike's punch and Wesley can say some of his lines, and probably incorporated more from the episodes than I needed to. I mean, you've already seen the eps, so you know what happens; you don't really need me to tell you. I think clawofcat probably let me get away with it because she's not very familiar with the Angel episodes and probably had no idea how much came from the actual script.
“Careful,” he warned them, recovering from the unexpected attack. “You don’t wanna get yourselves hurt.”
“We know what you’ve been doing,” Gunn said accusingly. “Giving up the baby to the Fell Brethren, working for Senator Bitch, trying to take out Drogyn to cover up what you did to Fred. And for what? To get in bed with the Circle of the Black Thorn?”
Angel nodded. “So you figured it out.”
“Yeah,” Lorne replied. “A little singing from a jailbird we know… and loathe.”
“Lindsey?” He scoffed. “And you believed him?”
“Doesn’t have a reason to lie,” Gunn pointed out.
“Doesn’t need one,” Angel shot back.
Wesley’s eyes narrowed. “Unlike you?”
“What I do here is my business. You don’t like how I conduct it, you can leave… before I kill you.”
You know, reading it over, this dialogue seems so stilted. I haven't watched the episode in a long time, so I can't recall if the delivery makes it better, but on top of the fact that it comes directly from the show, I kind of cringe that I didn't try to make it sound better when I was writing.
“Kill us? Hard to believe we’re having trouble trusting you,” Wesley remarked dryly.
“Just telling it like it is,” Angel shrugged.
Wesley cocked his shotgun. “Then we have a problem.”
“I guess we do,” Angel replied, and then all hell broke loose. They grappled for a few minutes, all of them attacking the vampire as he fiercely rebuffed their attempts. Finally, gaining the upper hand with Lorne as his hostage, Angel pulled a crystal out of his pocket and uttered a Latin word that sent a pulse through the room. Glamour in place, he told them everything - how he’d framed himself for Fred’s death so that the Black Thorn would believe he’d sacrifice one of his own people, how he’d set up Drogyn to cause conflict between himself and his closest friends, and how Cordelia’s kiss had given him a vision - and a plan.
“We are weak,” Angel told them. “The powerful control everything… except our will to choose. Look, Lindsey’s a pathetic halfwit, but he was right about one thing. Heroes don’t accept the way the world is. The Senior Partners may be eternal, but we can make their existence painful.”
“You wanna take them on,” Wesley concluded.
“We’re in a machine. The Black Thorn runs it. We can bring their gears to a grinding halt, even if it's just for a moment.”
Gunn nodded slowly. “About time we got our hands dirty.”
“This isn’t a keep-fighting-the-good-fight kind of deal,” Angel warned. “Let’s be clear. I’m talking about killing every… single… member of the Black Thorn. We don’t walk away from that.”
Lorne looked at him nervously. “Do we crawl away, at least?”
Angel shook his head. “We do this, the Senior Partners will rain their full wrath. They’ll make an example of us. I’m talking full-on hell, not the basic fire-and-brimstone kind we’re used to.”
“We know the drill,” Gunn said.
“No, you don’t. Ten to one, we’re gone when the smoke clears. They will do everything in their power to destroy us. So… I need you to be sure. Power endures. We can’t bring down the Senior Partners, but for one bright, shining moment, we can show them that they don’t own us. You need to decide for yourselves if that’s worth dying for. I can’t order you to do this. I can’t do it without you.”
Gunn, Wesley, and Lorne exchanged several long looks, considering everything Angel had told them.
“What do you think?” Angel asked.
Gunn met his eyes. “I think we’re gonna need Spike.”
And there it is. The main reason I wanted to use this scene is for that line. Not sure it was worth it. I probably could've cut in sometime near the end of Angel's speech and it would've had the same effect.
*****
“So, how does it feel?”
Spike looked up from where he was fiddling with his lighter and saw the decoy Buffy standing in the doorway. “What’s that, pet?”
“You’re going to see her again. Are you nervous?”
“Nah,” he replied, as she took a seat on the sofa next to him. “Yeah,” he admitted a moment later.
“What are you gonna say?”
“Haven’t thought about it.” Spike tilted his head to one side. “That’s not true. Was all I thought about, at first. Back when I was a ghost, when I couldn’t get to her. Seemed easier back then, to know what I wanted.”
I tend to think what happened was that Spike thought so much about what he was going to say (and what Buffy would say back) that he ended up talking himself out of going to see her. If he'd been able to just go right away and blurt out the first thing that popped into his head, it would've been fine. But he had time to think about it and consider the options, and he's figured out it could go one of two ways. She could just reject him outright, which I'm sure he has no desire to face again. Or she could accept him, not out of love but out of obligation, because she said something in the heat of the moment to a dying man, who turned out to be not so dead, and she can't take it back, so now she's stuck with it. Stuck with him. And they're back in a one-sided relationship, which was pretty ugly the first time around, and I'm sure he has no desire to repeat it.
Now he's really getting the chance to see her, and those are still probably the two most likely options in his mind. No wonder the poor boy's nervous.
The girl shrugged. “You could practice on me if you want.”
Spike shook his head firmly. “No. You’re not goin’ to be a stand-in for her anymore.” He shifted so he could look her in the eye. “I promise. Not if I can help it.”
She stared at him for a moment, awed, before her face broke out in a smile. Flinging her arms around his neck, she kissed him briefly on the lips, and then pressed her cheek against his. “Thank you,” she whispered in his ear.
I kind of love decoy Buffy in this fic, and I wish I could write more about her. She's tragic, much like Buffy in a sense - sacrificing her whole life in the name of duty. She can't even tell people her own name, can't make her own friends, and she's forced to hang out with the Immortal, who's only spending time with her because the Council is paying him (and I admit, there was a bit of "friend of the pretty girls" syndrome creeping in when I wrote her as being the one girl the Immortal doesn't bother to flirt with).
It's also probably no surprise that The Chain is one of the few issues of the season 8 comics I actually liked, as it deals with similar themes of identity and duty and sacrifice from the perspective of the other decoy.
“I know you can’t really do much,” she admitted, pulling away from him. “Not if Mr. Giles orders me to go back. But you’re the first person who ever cared enough to try.”
“Never could resist a lady in distress,” Spike said wryly.
This comes from the Dresden Files, and I've always thought it suited Spike to a T: "I could never resist going to the aid of a lady in distress, even if she wasn't completely, one hundred percent sure that she wanted to be rescued."
“You don’t like Mr. Giles much, do you?”
He gave her a sidelong glance. “Observant little chit, you are.”
“It’s not just about me, either. You guys have… history.”
“That we do, pet.”
She just stared at him expectantly. “Well?”
Spike sighed. “Was about a girl. Fred. She was the sweetest little…” He trailed off, swallowing hard. “Meant a lot to me - to all of us. An’ one day a god hollowed her out, stole her body and consumed her soul. We asked Rupert for help.”
“And he wouldn’t?”
Spike just flexed his jaw in response, as though to speak the words would unleash anger better kept in check. Then, he shrugged. “Also, he tried to have me killed this one time. Never really liked him much after that.”
Heh. I love how Fred gets his righteous anger up, but Giles trying to kill him is just tacked on as an afterthought.
*****
“The decoy operation in Rome has been suspended,” Giles informed the Scoobies, again on speakerphone as he communicated with the core leadership of the Council.
I actually have no idea where Giles is supposed to be in this fic, but we know from the season 8 comics that he's not at the castle in Scotland and he's not in Rome, so he is perpetually on speakerphone throughout this whole fic.
Xander, Willow, and Buffy exchanged concerned glances at his words, and Buffy went pale, immediately fearing the worst.
“Why?” Willow asked. “What happened?”
“In the past twenty-four hours, there have been two attempts on Buffy’s life. We’re uncertain whether the Immortal was involved -”
“I never trusted him anyway,” Xander interrupted. “Why’d Andrew think it’d be such a great idea?”
Because he thought it was funny, of course, given Angel's history with the Immortal... But he clearly didn't tell Buffy that, so I'm assuming he didn't tell anyone else, either.
Buffy and Willow shushed him, trying to listen to Giles, who was continuing as though he hadn’t been interrupted. “…but we do have one of the assassins in custody.”
“Oh, my God,” Buffy murmured, as a sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.
“Buffy, they’ve no idea you’re in Scotland,” Giles assured her. “There’s no need for you to worry.”
“No need for me to worry?” Buffy snapped. “Giles, if that girl dies, it’ll be because of me! I told you this was a bad -”
I can't remember if it was my beta or some of the readers commenting on an earlier chapter, but people definitely had issues with the fact that Buffy would allow this decoy program to operate. Well, she obviously allows it in canon, since I got it directly from the comics, but I tend to think she probably doesn't know all the details of the operation, or just how much these girls are risking their lives by pretending to be her. I also think it's something she was talked into by Giles and Xander in order to protect her, but it never totally sat well with her. I would bet that after meeting this decoy when she arrives in Scotland, Buffy would put an end to the whole thing.
“Buffy, she’s fine,” Giles broke in. “A broken arm that’ll be healed in a day or so, that’s all. Still, I thought it best that she and… her new companion return to the castle until the situation is resolved.”
Xander raised his eyebrows. “What new companion?”
“We weren’t sure the Immortal could be trusted. Since the first attack, we’ve had… well, we’ve had Spike guarding the girl.”
Buffy collapsed back in her chair, stunned. Suddenly, her world was tilted on its axis, and all the emotions she thought she’d buried after Sunnydale came flooding back.
Originally, I don't think I intended to show this moment, although it's a little fuzzy since I started writing this fic with no idea where it would go. I always meant it to be about Spike and not the Spuffy relationship, but it's kind of hard to separate those two. But I definitely knew they weren't going to meet at all in the fic, and so I ended up going for the tragic near-miss, where they're so close to being reunited and then Spike chooses to go back to LA instead.
Willow glanced over at her speechless best friend, and then hesitantly asked, “What did you say?”
“Spike is alive,” Giles confirmed. “He’s been working with Angel in Los Angeles.”
“Whoa - Angel?” Xander’s face darkened suspiciously. “You mean Spike’s working with that law firm, too? Is he evil again?”
“I can’t be certain. Andrew and the decoy seem to trust him -”
Xander rolled his eyes. “Andrew’s always had a little… thing for Spike.”
“Well, maybe we should give him the benefit of the doubt, you know?” Willow jumped in. “I mean, just ’cause you were evil once in your life doesn’t mean you’re gonna go all dark again at the first little temptation.”
Hahaha, I love defensive Willow.
“I rather agree with Willow,” Giles said. “He did save the world, and it’s possible he’s merely fallen in with the wrong people, due to some misguided familial loyalty to Angel. I thought perhaps, in the right company, he could be persuaded to continue fighting on the side of good.”
I wanted Giles to not be totally anti-Spike here. True, he did try to have Spike killed, but Giles is practical to a fault, and it's hard to argue with sacrificing yourself to save the world.
“Or, he might try to kill us all,” Xander said flippantly. “Not that that’d be new or anything.”
“Xander!” Willow glanced over at Buffy, who hadn’t said a word since Giles had broken the news. She was staring into space, her face drawn and her jaw clenched as though she were holding herself tightly together, and could fly apart at any moment. “Buffy, are you okay?”
Buffy glanced up at the question, a haunted expression on her face, but she didn’t respond.
On the speakerphone, Giles was outlining his intentions for Spike. “I think the best thing to do is to separate him from Angel and his associates, until we know more. Perhaps Spike will be able to give us some inside knowledge of what’s really going on in Los Angeles. He could be a vital asset.”
He may have come around on Spike, but Giles is definitely down on W&H. Of course, that's canon - his refusal to help with Fred, Andrew's "no one trusts you anymore" - so it's hard to claim otherwise. Not that I totally blame him, since it was a pretty questionable decision for Angel to take over, especially since no one knows why he really did it.
“How long?” Buffy asked, almost as though she were speaking to herself, her voice so soft that Giles didn’t hear her at all, continuing to discuss his plans.
“Giles, be quiet,” Willow interrupted, turning back to Buffy. “Buffy, what did you say?”
“How long?” she repeated, louder this time. “How long has he been back?”
“I don’t know,” Giles admitted. “Only Andrew’s spoken to him about it. A few months, at least.”
“How long have you known?” she pressed.
“A - a few weeks. Buffy -”
Before he could finish, Buffy shoved away from the table, the metal chair scraping across the floor, and ran out of the room. With a troubled glance at Xander, Willow took off after her.
“Uh, Giles?” Xander said, looking after the two women. “We’re gonna have to call you back.” Without waiting for the Watcher to say goodbye, he hung up the phone and ran after Buffy and Willow.
Willow caught up to her in the hall, grabbing Buffy by the arm. “Buffy, what are you doing?”
“I’m going to Rome,” she replied with determination, yanking her arm out of Willow’s grasp.
“Buff, you can’t,” Xander protested, skidding to a halt behind Willow.
“Don’t tell me what to do!”
Xander put his hands on Buffy’s shoulders, gently but firmly forcing her to look at him. “Buffy. Listen to me. You can’t go to Rome.” When she started to interrupt, he shook his head and plowed on. “First of all, one of you is already there. And second, somebody there’s trying to kill you, remember? I can’t let you leave.”
I kind of wonder how exactly Xander would have prevented her from leaving if she'd really wanted to. I suppose he could sic a whole pack of slayers on her, but still... Buffy's a tough one to dissuade when she's determined.
“They’re bringing them here, Buffy,” Willow reminded her. “He’ll be here in a few hours.”
“Why didn’t anybody tell me?” she demanded. “Why didn’t anyone tell me he was alive?”
“We didn’t know, Buff,” Xander replied apologetically.
“Giles knew,” Buffy shot back. “Andrew knew! I’m the head Slayer here, right? They didn’t think to keep me in the loop?” She whirled around and punched the wall before either of her friends could hold her back, the old Scottish stone cracking under the force of the blow.
There's a parallel here to Spike punching the crypt wall after learning that Buffy was back from the dead. Also, as I recall, much of this bit with Buffy, Willow, and Xander was rewritten, because Buffy was weepier and less angry, and the whole thing came across a little bit soggy.
“That bastard,” she said, staring down at her torn, bleeding knuckles. “Why didn’t he tell me himself?”
It hurt, not to be the first one Spike turned to, to hear that he’d been with Angel for God knows how long and never tried to contact her. She opened her eyes wide and took deep breaths, trying to hold back the tears of frustration and anger and disappointment that welled up at the thought. She knew what he’d said in the Hellmouth, but she thought - well, she didn’t know what she thought, had never been able to settle on an explanation that didn’t break her heart.
I actually kind of like the irony that while Spike really did mean it when he said she didn't love him, Buffy might actually side with all the romantics in the audience who thought he was just trying to make it easier for her to go or convincing himself he needed to stay or whatever. Having rewatched the scene not too long ago in the context of a discussion on this very topic, it struck me that Buffy looks kind of confused, like she's not really sure how to take Spike's words. Obviously, once she's out of the moment and had time to think, it would be more comforting for her to take the romantic view than to believe he really died thinking she didn't love him.
But she’d always believed that if, somehow… if he came back, he’d still…
“I’m sorry, Buffy,” Willow said, gently taking Buffy’s hand in hers, healing it with magic. “But he’ll be here soon, right?”
Or not. I really am kind of evil, aren't I?
*****
Spike strode purposefully across the tarmac at dusk, one hand on the small of the decoy’s back, Andrew trailing along behind. His leather duster streamed out behind him, lending him an air of invincibility, but the confident act was merely an attempt to quell the raging nerves inside him.
I imagine this being very superhero-y, with the power walk and all, except with Andrew tagging along in a "which of these just doesn't belong?" kind of way.
Buffy. He had to repeat it over and over in his head, to convince himself that this was really happening.
As he headed toward the idling plane, he noticed another private jet, with a logo that was all too familiar.
“Hold up a minute, pet,” he said, watching as a single figure disembarked and crossed the landing strip.
I had no idea what the plot of this fic would be, but I had this image of the two of them meeting on the landing strip in my head as soon as I decided Spike would stay in Rome for a while. I knew it'd be Gunn who brought him back, though I really can't say why, since Spike and Gunn's relationship wasn't terribly well-developed. Of course, it wasn't going to be Angel himself who came, and other than him, none of Spike's relationships with the other characters are all that well-developed.
“Charlie,” Spike greeted Gunn as he approached, his tailored suit jacket unbuttoned and flapping in the wind.
I love lawyer!Gunn, if only because J. August Richards looks hot in a suit.
“Have a nice vacation, Blondie?” the young lawyer retorted, eying the girl at his side.
Spike exchanged a long-suffering look with not-Buffy. “I’ve been attacked and blown up more times than I can count. I’ll be absolutely thrilled to get out of this godforsaken country.”
LOL, poor Spike. He's had a horrendous, taxing time, and Gunn's all thinking he was having a ball and picking up chicks.
“Good,” Gunn replied, all joviality abruptly vanishing as his tone and expression grew serious. He lowered his voice. “Something’s going down, Spike. Something big. Angel’s takin’ ’em all out.”
“All… who?”
“Circle of the Black Thorn.” When Spike just raised his eyebrows expectantly, Gunn explained, “Secret society, basically the instrument of the Senior Partners in this dimension. All you gotta know is, what Angel’s planning is gonna piss off the Senior Partners something fierce, and they will rain down hell in return.”
Spike nodded slowly, taking in his words. “Going up against the Senior Partners, eh? There’s no coming back from this one, is there? This is it, the final show.”
Gunn shook his head. Spike glanced back toward the Council’s plane, wondering if he had time to make the flight to Scotland and see Buffy before he went back to L.A. She’d probably hate him for it, but at least he’d get a chance to say goodbye.
Oh, man. I wonder which she'd hate more - finding out he died again without coming to see her, or him showing up and dangling the idea of a future together in front of her, only to snatch it away when he left. Of course, if she knew there was a fight going down in LA, she'd have been on the plane with them whether they wanted her or not.
“There’s no time,” Gunn said, reading his mind. “This goes down tonight.”
Spike worked his jaw, shifting his weight from one foot to the other with indecision. “This is the good fight?” he asked. “What Angel’s doing… this is something worth fightin’ for?”
Gunn shrugged, vaguely affirmative, not that it mattered. Spike already knew that he would follow Angel into hell. He was family.
He turned to the decoy, and she immediately understood. Her eyes welled with tears, and she wanted to tell him not to go, but if she’d learned anything about Spike in their time together, it was that he was a hero, and he would do what was necessary, regardless of what it cost him. She threw her arms around him again, hugging him tightly. Just before she pulled away, she whispered something in his ear.
“What was that, pet?” Spike asked.
“That’s my real name.”
This was clawofcat's suggestion. She thought it conveyed the intimacy and friendship they've developed over this short time, that she confides in him something she can't really tell anyone.
He tilted his head to one side, and then smiled. Before he could respond, Andrew had flung himself at Spike, gripping him tightly around the waist and burying his face in the vampire’s chest. Spike gave the decoy a horrified look over Andrew’s head, and she giggled.
“Oh, Spike, my brave warrior,” Andrew cried. “I have faith in you.”
I love writing Andrew's Spike-crush so very, very much.
Extricating himself from Andrew’s embrace, Spike looked back at the Slayer one last time.
“Tell Buffy… I’m sorry.”
Maybe it was better this way. They’d never really been good at goodbyes.
The decoy nodded and gave him a sad little wave. Then, Spike turned to Gunn, and the two of them crossed the tarmac together, headed toward the apocalypse.