Thanksgiving
So, here we are in Portland (oregon).
For those not keeping track, Chet had the idea to drive up here and surprise Christina and Loki for Thanksgiving. He conspired with Carter (her live-in boyfriend) to make sure everything we good. We left on Wedneday morning at 3 AM. I drove until we hit Redding at about 11, Chet tried to get some sleep in the back of my car. He drove the rest of the way.
And surprise was achieved.
But because this is my LJ, I will, of course, do my whining here like the bitchy teenager I seem to have become recently.
I'm hiding in the guest room at the moment. There are currently 9 adults here and 2 4 year-old boys. I am overwhelmed and freaking out a little. The boys have been running around and screaming, there's football and people I don't know. I have gotten worse with crowds. I was never good at people to begin with, and, being out of work, I've been much more isolated. There's been discussion of work, which makes me sad. I feel very much like a failure. Lots of talk about babies too, which brings up all sorts of wildly conflicting emotions: fear, disappointment, and again with the failure.
Its been interesting listening to the little bits of converstation that filter in as they finish up dinner and watch football.
Being an only child doesn't help. Holidays are usually very quite affairs, and I like that.
Also, I'm a lousy guest. I can host pretty well, I throw a mean dinner party, but shy away from helping (not my terriorty to mess with things) and I have a hard time with too many people and too much chaos.
It seems that dinner is finially done and so I go.
For those not keeping track, Chet had the idea to drive up here and surprise Christina and Loki for Thanksgiving. He conspired with Carter (her live-in boyfriend) to make sure everything we good. We left on Wedneday morning at 3 AM. I drove until we hit Redding at about 11, Chet tried to get some sleep in the back of my car. He drove the rest of the way.
And surprise was achieved.
But because this is my LJ, I will, of course, do my whining here like the bitchy teenager I seem to have become recently.
I'm hiding in the guest room at the moment. There are currently 9 adults here and 2 4 year-old boys. I am overwhelmed and freaking out a little. The boys have been running around and screaming, there's football and people I don't know. I have gotten worse with crowds. I was never good at people to begin with, and, being out of work, I've been much more isolated. There's been discussion of work, which makes me sad. I feel very much like a failure. Lots of talk about babies too, which brings up all sorts of wildly conflicting emotions: fear, disappointment, and again with the failure.
Its been interesting listening to the little bits of converstation that filter in as they finish up dinner and watch football.
Being an only child doesn't help. Holidays are usually very quite affairs, and I like that.
Also, I'm a lousy guest. I can host pretty well, I throw a mean dinner party, but shy away from helping (not my terriorty to mess with things) and I have a hard time with too many people and too much chaos.
It seems that dinner is finially done and so I go.