Eurovision Song Contest 2009 Review
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So last night was that time of year, The Eurovision Song Contest.
I watch it most years, it's become institutionalised. It's a strange phenomenon. You'd have to see it to get a real understanding of what it's all about. LOL.
A bunch of European countries getting together to sing songs and then the whole of Europe votes to choose the best. Although I don't consider UK to be European, and it always puzzles me why a middle east country Israel is considered part of Europe. Hmmmm?
Instead of voting for singing ability and song normally countries give votes based on reciprocy, ie countries vote based on political and historical links ie Eastern bloc countries normally vote for each other, etc.
And for the last few years Britain has done really really badly. We even scored nil points a few years back. I still say UK entry for 2008 should have been Michelle Gayle with Woo You Got Me (or something like that). Awesome track and performance. Alas she was not to be.
Votes this year were in my opinion still not based on singing ability or song, but instead “ah isn't he cute, gorgeous, etc NOT”. There's no way Norway should have won. I didn't really like UK entry although she has an awesome voice and she was accompanied by Andrew Lloyd Webber. But the UK song is growing on me. I wanted Iceland or Finland to win.
So without further ado, my review of European Song Contest 2009
Lithuania -
Israel - was a political message called “Must be another way” performed by an Israeli Arab and an Israeli Jew. I quite liked it.
France - apparently really really famous. She had a husky voice.
Sweden - this was a mix of singing in 2 genres pop and soprano although her voice wasn't as good as Sarah Brightman or Katherine Jenkins to name but 2. I really loved the music and tune, and then she opened her mouth with “can you keep a secret?”. I thought when she sang soprano I liked the song, but when it went all pop it wasn't good and her voice was not that good.
Croatia - singer looks a bit like Robbie Williams is all I can say.
Portugal - she was in national costume, I loved the song. The singer looked a little like Kelly Osbourne. It was becoming apparent that this wasn't just a singing contest but also a 'spot the celebrity look-alike”. Mum liked the drummer and got all excited and committed “he's wiggling his hips”.
Iceland - at the start there was a very very close-up of her face and for a split second the camera angle she looked like Jade Goody. But once camera panned out she looked nothing like her. The song was called “Is it True?” and it was just awesome. I loved this song, the performance and I wanted to Iceland to win.
Greece - male was dressed all in white and looked mad. Also when lights were off at the start and you just saw his shadow he looked a bit like Peter Andre, but once lights came on he looked nothing like him. He started moving a little like Michael Jackson for a split second. I felt more like I was watching a stage show. Then there was the compulsory ripping of the shirt. Oh and UK health and safety would have had a fit with what he did with the treadmill, especially when it started rising. The special effects were far more interesting and amusing that the song.
Armenia - start reminded me of Ruslana's “Wild Dances” from Ukraine which won in 2004. It was also a little like the video Stay. A bit gothic, vampiressy like Elvira.
Russia - not sure what to say? There were giant screens of the female singers face and as she sang her face on the screens got older. Sure it matched the song but as I dont' speak Russian not sure. Very clever. I quite liked the melody. She was expressive but her face looked like Catherine Zeta Jones, painful to watch when she was singing the difficult notes.
Azerbaijan - called “Always” catchy tune. Duo, he's a better singer than the female was.
Bosnia & Herzogovina - bit like what you'd expect to find sung in a theatre show like Les Miserables although I haven't seen that show.
Moldova - Liked start it was folksy. I did like her costume. OK. She wore purple boots. I love boots.
Malta - she looked like Charlotte Church a bit when she was pregnant. She even sounded a bit Welsh in places. She winked, great performance. I love it.
Estonia -mystical
Denmark - this entry was written by Ronan Keating, who UK's presenter Graham Norton (as funny and witty and politically incorrect as Terry Wogan) said “it was written by one of our own Ronan Keating.” Hmmm, I thought Ronan was Irish therefore he's not UK's own. Anyway singer was styled and performed like Ronan. Mum said “ooh heck, he's not young is he?”. LOL, it was the lighting I thought he looked quite sexy myself, Denmark's singer that is. The guy on the piano looked like a bigger Simon Pegg at one point.
Germany - titled “Miss Kiss Kiss Bang”. What can I say? Title says it all. Awful song, and awful performance. Graham got it spot on when he said it was “PANTS”. And Dita Von Teese did a burlesque routine although camera barely was on her. In rehearsals there was a picture of her in nipple tassles. But I didn't see a nipple or a tassle in sight. Sure there were a lot of male viewers who were left bitterly disappointed, and it's no surprise to those who know me well, I'm happy if they were disappointed. She stripped down to a bodice.
Turkey -yet another song which started of promising, the music and melody were awesome. But then the singing started the tune changed and the lyrics, well the lyrics sucked. She wasn't even a very good belly dancer, not that I could do better. Singers eyes looked a little like Holly Valance. Male gymnast in green was about the only highlight. His hair looked frightening though.
Albania - there were men dressed up as creatures on stage with singer. They ruined the performance and song. Young singer was awesome but there wasn't a lot she could do with the distraction of these morons. It was the type of song that didn't need or want distractions. Singer had a good voice, tune was good, but then there was the acrobat turning on his head and I just wanted to jump through the screen and chase those wankas off stage. She did a little belly dancing which was superior to Turkey's effort. Man dressed in head-to-toe green kept loitering around the singer, a little pervy I thought.
Norway - now I did love the start. Can you guess? Yep, again it was the music and the tune with lead singer playing violin which I thought he should have stuck too. I think it was called “Fairytale”. Graham announced it was the bookies favourite. And yeah I liked it until he opened his mouth. The singing was not good. Male dancers doing press-ups were the highlight. Yet another entry that started off great but was let down by the singing, voice, lyrics, etc. I can see why he might win. Some voters go by looks, and there's a cute-boy look about him. Yes many a teenage girl, or woman will swoon. But he's not my type.
Ukraine - called “Be My Valentine (Anti-Crisis Girl). Loved the title. Loved her thigh-highs (aka boots) Some of the lyrics were truly inspirational “we're going to do the bomb”. Strange. It was like a stage show something like the likes of Madonna / Christina / Britney / Pink etc would do. There were dancers and plenty of pelvic thrusting by dancers dressed up as Roman guards who kept grabbing their crotch when they weren't pelvic thrusting. Yes, I do notice the small details. More lyrics were “crazy bomber”. I love a woman who drums. Together 2-3-4 let's all pelvic thrust.
Romania - I liked the start and beat of drums. If you thought that the lyrics of Ukraine's entry were inspiring, Romania's are truly thought provoking with lines like “Girls like to body like nobody like nobody”. Hmmmm, I can see somebody writing a thesis about this. Or how about “My hips are ready to burn”. Part of the choreography was let's all hold hands and skip. Yay. You can see I've been watching this too long, is she saying “Vulcan girls like to body like nobody like nobody”. Hmmm, what does that mean?
UK - it's a slow tempo called “It's my Time”. Pure class. Song about somebody coming from the dark into the light, or that's my interpretation. Andrew Lloyd Webber played piano, Jade sang. Although I wanted Iceland to win, it's bewildering that this song was beaten by Norway's entry.
Finland - group was Waldo's People - song . I love it. Then oh dear, there's a rapper. But yeah I love it. Rapper warmed up nicely. Not Chester Bennington or Mike Shinoda but he'll do. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Another rock song by Finland, something that is becoming a bit of a theme for them. Who can forget Lordi?
Spain - Again I liked the start. Long intro of music and then the singing starts. Singer looks a little like Sarah Harding from Girls Aloud. There were acrobats. And another set of awe inspiring lyrics “Come on and take me, Come on and shake me”. Magicians even made the singer disappear. Pity she didn't stay diappeared.
So that was it. Norway won. Not sure how? UK came fifth.