(no subject)
life is a hoochy that i dont care to court.
i made a stretch last night and went somewhere that i never thought i would. i went to cbc.
it actually wasn't that bad.. i think i may go back.
im at an odd phase of my life. i want that lasting relationship; i want the promise of a future ( kids and the whole bit) but at the same time, i don't.
i don't because i don't trust promises anymore. they mean nothing to me. so many have been broken. it hurts me, very very deeply.
the icing on the cake, really though, is when someone (the one who has made all those promises)looks at you dead in the face and says, " this is a dead-end relationship."
heartbreak...
then that same person turns around and says that you are the most important person to him and asks if you can't just pretend that the whole conversation/argument/discussion never happened.
how can someone overcome that? how can one move on and start over when for so long, that one person is all that you want and all that you think you need? almost 4 years ( on and off)just to throw it all away like it was nothing, like it meant nothing....
i don't think i will get through this. im not sure i want to.
i made a stretch last night and went somewhere that i never thought i would. i went to cbc.
it actually wasn't that bad.. i think i may go back.
im at an odd phase of my life. i want that lasting relationship; i want the promise of a future ( kids and the whole bit) but at the same time, i don't.
i don't because i don't trust promises anymore. they mean nothing to me. so many have been broken. it hurts me, very very deeply.
the icing on the cake, really though, is when someone (the one who has made all those promises)looks at you dead in the face and says, " this is a dead-end relationship."
heartbreak...
then that same person turns around and says that you are the most important person to him and asks if you can't just pretend that the whole conversation/argument/discussion never happened.
how can someone overcome that? how can one move on and start over when for so long, that one person is all that you want and all that you think you need? almost 4 years ( on and off)just to throw it all away like it was nothing, like it meant nothing....
i don't think i will get through this. im not sure i want to.