Things to leave and things to share
My life changed. Wow what an Info.
Since we moved here my life changed completely.
For the better.
I often think I don't deserve that. But my friends and family tell me I do. After all I got through and through all the hard childhood times. I made it here.
Still that feeling remained ... not very loud but it did.
I found a way to pay this depth of being happy. Yes, for me it feels like I have to pay .. like I don't really deserve it.
The way to make this feeling go away is offering help.
At the moment I know I live the dream others have and I know a lot of people are jealous. Jealousy always scares me a bit, cause it makes people act strange.
Instead I want to share my dream with others and I want to help the ones that want to go at the same direction. That have the same dream of working with games. It really makes me happy if I can help in any kind of way.
I am not thinking of getting something back.
It's true that if you help someone- you might get nothing back from the person. But I believe you might get something back from somewhere else... even may be years after... but I believe.
May be that's my only religion I believe in. That there is some chain of kindness.
And nothing is wasted.
Sounds romantic, hum?
The other thing... I left things behind. Most of them are people.
People I felt I always was running after and the ones that gave me just a bad feeling and the feeling of not being good enough.
Yes of course it is right to do so. But I still feel a bit sorry for those beginning "friendships" I gave up on.
I guess people know who they are if they read here. I still care in a way and wish you all but the best in life and someone better for you to be friends with.
I have found them for me.
Sometimes it's time to move on.
At the end I just hope everyone will gain their happiness and freedom.
All the best
Eos
Since we moved here my life changed completely.
For the better.
I often think I don't deserve that. But my friends and family tell me I do. After all I got through and through all the hard childhood times. I made it here.
Still that feeling remained ... not very loud but it did.
I found a way to pay this depth of being happy. Yes, for me it feels like I have to pay .. like I don't really deserve it.
The way to make this feeling go away is offering help.
At the moment I know I live the dream others have and I know a lot of people are jealous. Jealousy always scares me a bit, cause it makes people act strange.
Instead I want to share my dream with others and I want to help the ones that want to go at the same direction. That have the same dream of working with games. It really makes me happy if I can help in any kind of way.
I am not thinking of getting something back.
It's true that if you help someone- you might get nothing back from the person. But I believe you might get something back from somewhere else... even may be years after... but I believe.
May be that's my only religion I believe in. That there is some chain of kindness.
And nothing is wasted.
Sounds romantic, hum?
The other thing... I left things behind. Most of them are people.
People I felt I always was running after and the ones that gave me just a bad feeling and the feeling of not being good enough.
Yes of course it is right to do so. But I still feel a bit sorry for those beginning "friendships" I gave up on.
I guess people know who they are if they read here. I still care in a way and wish you all but the best in life and someone better for you to be friends with.
I have found them for me.
Sometimes it's time to move on.
At the end I just hope everyone will gain their happiness and freedom.
All the best
Eos