Remembrance
So i'm well aware of the fact no one reads this, but when i really think about it i know that i really write in this more for myself than anyone else, so it doesn't really matter.
I was reading over my whole journal the other day (i know, you can imagine my boredom) and i realized how big of a change i went through from the time i started this journal up till now. It started out when i was with Charles, and i was very happy and i always had good things going on in my life and i never sounded sad. Then it went to Charles and i breaking up and i started going through this depressed with life phase where i always had negative things to say, i always sounded sad and like i hated life and well, you could just tell i went through a dramatic change, because after Charles and i broke up i did get very depressed and i did go through a lot. But during that time, i still had random moments of happiness, but they were rare and few, and it made me think, "wow, how did people put up with me when i was so moppy like that?" It shows me that i've got great friends to be able to put up with such a sad individual, but they knew it was just a phase i was going through till i got over the initial hurt of losing someone i cared about very much. It was the first time i'd lost someone like that, and it hit me hard. But as time went by, i could tell from my entries that i was beginning to have a better outlook on life and i was beginning to sound happy again. And then i met Jagger, and ever since then it's been nothing but happiness on here. He really is amazing and i'm still in awe that i could be with someone like him. He honestly makes me feel like no one else has, i dont know how he does it or what it is that he even does, but ever since i met him i feel like i'm living in a new world. I've experienced so many new and exciting things with him that it blows my mind, and the experiences keep coming. The other night we were out with friends, and we were all hanging out, and i was looking at him and thinking about him and i felt like i loved him so much my heart was going to burst and i couldn't stop telling him how much he meant to me. And i realize i'm so happy with life right now that i never want to lose this. I never want to be a dissapointment, i never want to hurt anyone, and i dont want to ever hurt myself again. I've made some stupid decisions in my life, been with people i shouldn't have, left people i should have stayed with, and through it all i've come out with a wonderful guy. A relationship that is still new, but feels so complete at the same time.
Reading over my past entries i realized that i had a lot of great memories and i've met a lot of great people in my life, some that will be in my heart forever. And i do have a lot of regrets, but i can't say that i hate them, because it's the consequences i went through, the heartaches and the trials, that makes me cherish what i have now. I've learned a lot about myself, and the people i've known, through this past year, and i must say, i'm glad to be where i am right now, because i never though i'd feel like this again.
I love my life :)
I was reading over my whole journal the other day (i know, you can imagine my boredom) and i realized how big of a change i went through from the time i started this journal up till now. It started out when i was with Charles, and i was very happy and i always had good things going on in my life and i never sounded sad. Then it went to Charles and i breaking up and i started going through this depressed with life phase where i always had negative things to say, i always sounded sad and like i hated life and well, you could just tell i went through a dramatic change, because after Charles and i broke up i did get very depressed and i did go through a lot. But during that time, i still had random moments of happiness, but they were rare and few, and it made me think, "wow, how did people put up with me when i was so moppy like that?" It shows me that i've got great friends to be able to put up with such a sad individual, but they knew it was just a phase i was going through till i got over the initial hurt of losing someone i cared about very much. It was the first time i'd lost someone like that, and it hit me hard. But as time went by, i could tell from my entries that i was beginning to have a better outlook on life and i was beginning to sound happy again. And then i met Jagger, and ever since then it's been nothing but happiness on here. He really is amazing and i'm still in awe that i could be with someone like him. He honestly makes me feel like no one else has, i dont know how he does it or what it is that he even does, but ever since i met him i feel like i'm living in a new world. I've experienced so many new and exciting things with him that it blows my mind, and the experiences keep coming. The other night we were out with friends, and we were all hanging out, and i was looking at him and thinking about him and i felt like i loved him so much my heart was going to burst and i couldn't stop telling him how much he meant to me. And i realize i'm so happy with life right now that i never want to lose this. I never want to be a dissapointment, i never want to hurt anyone, and i dont want to ever hurt myself again. I've made some stupid decisions in my life, been with people i shouldn't have, left people i should have stayed with, and through it all i've come out with a wonderful guy. A relationship that is still new, but feels so complete at the same time.
Reading over my past entries i realized that i had a lot of great memories and i've met a lot of great people in my life, some that will be in my heart forever. And i do have a lot of regrets, but i can't say that i hate them, because it's the consequences i went through, the heartaches and the trials, that makes me cherish what i have now. I've learned a lot about myself, and the people i've known, through this past year, and i must say, i'm glad to be where i am right now, because i never though i'd feel like this again.
I love my life :)