Checkin on Life Changes

[eoma_p]

I've periodically listed the series of life changes that started in 2007, and the list keeps growing. I spent 12 years at the same job, 14 years in the same house, and 15 years in the same church. All those things have changed since 2007, some more than once. Here's a recap of changes I've listed before with additional changes over the last few years of change added.

Starting before 2007, we've

• Renovated a kitchen
• Renovated a basement, including making a string of poor decisions from financing to contractor selection
• Struggled to pay private school tuition for two
• Struggled to pay private school tuition for three during the 2006-2007 school year
• Realized we couldn't afford to continue doing so
• Lost a close friend to cancer. She was only 37 and this was the first death of a friend in my life
• Debated, fussed, and finally moved to a better school district in September 2007 from a house we'd lived in for fourteen years
• Sent kids to public school for the first time in several years, some of them for the first time ever, starting a couple of weeks into the school year
• Rented a townhouse for a year and a half, instead of the planned six months, leaving probably 1/3 of our stuff in storage
• Sold a house near the bottom of the housing slump in March 2009
• Started a new job in March 2009
• Bought a house near the bottom of the housing slump in April 2009
• Moved into a new house in May 2009
• Dealt with the death of my mother in May 2009
• Dealt with the death of my father in October 2009
• Settled my father's estate in Texas, mostly from Maryland, including some extremely acrimonious dealings with one of my brothers (We're still not speaking)
• Left a church we'd been involved in for over fifteen years
• Completely changed our religious views, Ed and I going in diametrically opposite directions from each other
• Facilitated moving Ed's mom from Oklahoma here in September 2010
• Had the basement gutted and renovated to create a suite for Ed's mom, while B slept in the living room and Ed's mom slept in B's room
• Dealt with R graduating from high school
• Dealt with A starting high school
• Dealt with two diagnoses of chronic conditions that can be helped some with medication but not cured
• Dealt with three hospitalizations for said conditions
• Changed jobs again in Oct 2011 to a new position with the same management
• Broken an ankle in Feb 2012, requiring surgery and a several months of convalescence, and nearly a year for something approaching a complete recovery
• Dealt with A deciding to leave high school and start working, with plans for getting a GED

• (New stuff italicized) Dealt with living in a hostile environment between DH's anger at me for pushing to move and never ending criticisim from MIL-my parenting, housekeeping, food choices, "poor" treatment of spouse, hobbies, philisophies, and so on
• Dealt with one child in a year or two long unhealthy relationship (that thankfully ended)
• Dealt with one child who was devastated by the end of a first romantic relationship that lasted a year or two
• Dealt with an increasingly unpleasant work environment  at a job I used to love
• Quit said job, WITHOUT a new job lined up
• Dealt with TWO fiftieth birthdays (Yes, this is the number that finally hit me. 30 and 40 were a breeze. I'm 50 and I feel OLD.)
• Dealt with several years of depression including a complete loss of interest in All the Things including gardening, crafts, work, etc. Needless to say, the house and yard suffered, along with work
• Fell apart at work and spent a couple of months on disability leave
• Lost a college friend to cardiac problems in 2015
• Lost a dear friend and spiritual mentor to cancer in 2015--3 weeks from diagnosis to death
• Faced R moving away (to GEORGIA) for college

I sometimes feel totally inadequate as a human being, and it's very helpful to remind myself of all these stresses.  Even more important is reminding my self of what I've managed to accomplish. In the midst of all this, I've managed to

• Learn to meditate
• Learn to lift weights
• Connect with a spiritual community I love and value where I'm loved and valued
• Learn to drum at an advanced beginner level
• Learn to cook healthier meals
• Learn to identify my personal boundaries
• Read several hundred books
• Begin implementing a garden plan, including planting several hundred new plants
• Be proactive about meeting with friends regularly -- lunches, dinners, and trips to keep in touch
• Complete dozens of craft projects
• Learn to bead
• Learn to make polymer clay beads, bracelets, canes and boxes
• Celebrate 26 years of marriage

• Get better at meditating
• Read more books
• Finish more craft projects
• Finish my first knitted sweater
• Get rid of stuff, both physical AND emotional
• Make a conscious decision to buck societal expectations and ROCK gray hair
• Cheer as A started working at Michael's in 2012. She's still working there too
• Cheer as A earned her GED with HONORS
• Cheer as R finished her Associate Degree
• Lose 25+ lbs between June and Dec 2013 and more importantly KEEP IT OFF till now
• Continue building healthy habits--healthy food, sleep, exercise, meditation
• Continue building healthy relationships--with DH, with kids, with friends
• Work hard and significantly improve communication skills with DH
• Join a circle of amazing women focused on personal growth
• Continue working on setting and enforcing personal boundaries
• Set a personal limit and ask that MIL move out so home could be a "safe" place emotionally
• Set a personal limit and quit working for six months to take care of myself
• Organize and complete metadata on nearly 900 ebooks, some of which were 10 or 15 years old
• Work on organizing large digital music and photo collections
• Walk (and push) R through applying to "The Harvard of Comics", compiling a portfolio and earning about 1/3 of the cost in scholarships in addition to being accepted
• Create a new resume, complete with lovely formatting, and start job hunting. For the first time ever, I'm actually applying to a bunch of jobs (nearly 20 so far) and hoping for the luxury of choosing the offer that's the best fit for me. I've also clearly stated the minimum salary I'm willing to settle for. I've never before believed I was worth hiring, so I've always taken the first offer I got and accepted whatever salary was offered.
• Start learning to draw
• Improve my knitting skills
• Start writing knitting patterns to sell

I'll refer back to this when I need a reminder. I am NOT a failure.