(no subject)
Cut&Paste from DW, because they (probably LJ) are playing silly buggers >:[
I'd promised myself I'd try harder to communicate with the outside world a little more, stop worrying about how commonplace and/or whiney I'm coming across in an effort to connect in some way, cos it hasn't been making things any easier for me. Sure, I'd be exposing just how unproductive, frustrated with a dose of anxiety and generally banal I am, but it just might be better than sitting in the corner of a room and staring blankly at all the things I'd wanted to be doing but had to put on hold for whatever reason.
I know I'm not the one who is completely at fault for this, but I am the one who has allowed complacency, situations and other people's needs/desires/not giving a f**k to to highjack most of the things that gave life flavour, without really adding anything. Poor mobility followed by the effects of the brain tumour then the MS have really not done me any favours, either.
Enough excuses.
So my latest plan is to expose my soft and often scabby underbelly from time to time, in the hopes that it will help me excise some of the nasty stuff that is clogging my brain and allow me to shake some of it off and work my way around it. I know I'll never be rid of it, but unless I manage to do something it just allows it to keep building up.
If that hasn't caused you to unfriend me yet, I'll try and make it worth someone's while from time to time *wibbly smile*
In a somewhat related matter, I've discovered that I can copy/paste my own ficlets from the archive I'd been having problems with, even if I can't edit or anything. I'm going to try and transfer these into a file and maybe put a few more of them on AO3 at somepoint. I'll maybe making a few minor edits as I go, but a few things need a bit more of a going over before I'd be happy letting them loose, and there is one that I am going to be rewriting. I'm also considering going through my entries on LJ's GS100 and posting a few more to archive, or even compiling a few that coincidentally form a sort of arc.
None of this is new content, of course, but I'm hoping to spark something with it :}
I'd promised myself I'd try harder to communicate with the outside world a little more, stop worrying about how commonplace and/or whiney I'm coming across in an effort to connect in some way, cos it hasn't been making things any easier for me. Sure, I'd be exposing just how unproductive, frustrated with a dose of anxiety and generally banal I am, but it just might be better than sitting in the corner of a room and staring blankly at all the things I'd wanted to be doing but had to put on hold for whatever reason.
I know I'm not the one who is completely at fault for this, but I am the one who has allowed complacency, situations and other people's needs/desires/not giving a f**k to to highjack most of the things that gave life flavour, without really adding anything. Poor mobility followed by the effects of the brain tumour then the MS have really not done me any favours, either.
Enough excuses.
So my latest plan is to expose my soft and often scabby underbelly from time to time, in the hopes that it will help me excise some of the nasty stuff that is clogging my brain and allow me to shake some of it off and work my way around it. I know I'll never be rid of it, but unless I manage to do something it just allows it to keep building up.
If that hasn't caused you to unfriend me yet, I'll try and make it worth someone's while from time to time *wibbly smile*
In a somewhat related matter, I've discovered that I can copy/paste my own ficlets from the archive I'd been having problems with, even if I can't edit or anything. I'm going to try and transfer these into a file and maybe put a few more of them on AO3 at somepoint. I'll maybe making a few minor edits as I go, but a few things need a bit more of a going over before I'd be happy letting them loose, and there is one that I am going to be rewriting. I'm also considering going through my entries on LJ's GS100 and posting a few more to archive, or even compiling a few that coincidentally form a sort of arc.
None of this is new content, of course, but I'm hoping to spark something with it :}