(no subject)
Well, I'm back for now, I suppose, even if I have a smaller audience. But, this has merely become what it was originally intended for -- a place to vent. A place to collect my thoughts since I can't seem to collect them by merely 'thinking'. Thinking seems to only lead to sleepiness. Or distracting thoughts that have nothing really to do with anything.
So, I'm boring. I think I've somehow managed to become more and more boring until this point where I can safely say that I'm just outright boring. This is not somewhere I haven't traveled before. Much like in therapy, I seem to be treading the same paths over and over again. And just as therapy seems to be going nowhere, so does thinking, or even writing about it. But I've nowhere else to go.
I don't do very much. I have a handful of friends that I enjoy seeing and playing board games with. I usually don't have much to say since I don't really do very much outside of that. I work, and I hate it. I think I probably hate it more than I ever have. My relationship is wonderful and so supportive, but half the reason I'm on here, writing about this worthless shit is because she's getting bored with me -- she said so. And I'm just as bored.
My therapist recommended I choose something -- anything -- to do. Just anything I'm even slightly interested in and do it. Invest some time and (gasp) some effort. And it's astounding how difficult that is for me, which is exactly why I'm trying to do it. This is one of those things. Actually sitting down and writing out some worthless dribble. It's something I used to enjoy, and I do find it somewhat pleasant to do it again.
But I'd like to do more than just invest time and effort into this. I need to get a hobby outside board games -- something I can do and enjoy outside of everyone else if for no other reason than to have something to talk about.
This is at least a start, and we'll see if I keep this up. God knows I lose interest in this pretty easily.
So, I'm boring. I think I've somehow managed to become more and more boring until this point where I can safely say that I'm just outright boring. This is not somewhere I haven't traveled before. Much like in therapy, I seem to be treading the same paths over and over again. And just as therapy seems to be going nowhere, so does thinking, or even writing about it. But I've nowhere else to go.
I don't do very much. I have a handful of friends that I enjoy seeing and playing board games with. I usually don't have much to say since I don't really do very much outside of that. I work, and I hate it. I think I probably hate it more than I ever have. My relationship is wonderful and so supportive, but half the reason I'm on here, writing about this worthless shit is because she's getting bored with me -- she said so. And I'm just as bored.
My therapist recommended I choose something -- anything -- to do. Just anything I'm even slightly interested in and do it. Invest some time and (gasp) some effort. And it's astounding how difficult that is for me, which is exactly why I'm trying to do it. This is one of those things. Actually sitting down and writing out some worthless dribble. It's something I used to enjoy, and I do find it somewhat pleasant to do it again.
But I'd like to do more than just invest time and effort into this. I need to get a hobby outside board games -- something I can do and enjoy outside of everyone else if for no other reason than to have something to talk about.
This is at least a start, and we'll see if I keep this up. God knows I lose interest in this pretty easily.