There are no excuses for the words that follow
Hello, in my dreams I am crushed underneath the weight of your eyes and the embers of darkness dug deep. I strain to forgive what i already know is true. And forever I gain nothing but the past buried deep in my heart, in sub-dreams I forget you are gone and you've found new love. I realize the fortress of my heart. I cannot stand to be like this much longer, in the echoes of this room and of my bills and of my days spent without you-----------. I cannot stand the thought of my dear C. continuing on without me. I love your pictures and I free myself in the grasp of your smile. I fear your dark makeup might change the heart of every evening gored. I have found my ----------- and my like in her. Her fair skin and colored eyes, freckles tinted in her face i recognize you are forgotten in this city. no one knows what you've done to me, not even you. I cannot be sober, for when I am -- --------------------. In sight and in action when the secret lies in depth of alcoholic tendencies, I cringe at the thought. I iiiforge and forge a way into my own thoughts but recommend nothing to myself but to call. I do nothing but ask about you. i fill voids with emptiness. And it seems to give way under the pressure. I think of nothing but you and ------------. ---------------------------. I hear things in year of travel, I smell the things that remind me of you. I try and fix what changes have been made, but in recklessness turn in time without much excess. I write your passion and I taste nothing ------- -------.God, in the times I miss you most I feel nothing. The sinking barge, the tapered tongue, the turning table sunk beneath the years. i will think of something soon, in drugs and in the howls of evening I tag along into your voiiice so soft and child-like on the phone. I cannot say I _________. I cannot say it in the state that I am in. but, I miss you and ----------- anywayss.