Documenting for change. / Balancing acts.
When I think of Boston, I'm reminded of Wellesley & its winding paths & struggles, but also the few women I met there whose existences still stand out like brilliantly against the rather lonely and grey landscape of my heart; going out to the city for steaming bowls of katsudon from Blue Fin, greasy appetizers & steak & some ginormous decadent chocolate dessert at Uno's, sharing big plates of chicken marsala and meatloaf at the Cheesecake Factory; and most recently, a summer full of dazzling pain & liberation spent lying awake listening into the silence, digging through Urban Outfitters' clearance section for a sense of fashion, being an awful basketcase in a first meeting with a special friend, being alternately generous and immature with my love. Yes, that's Boston for me.
If I'm talking about now, why do I have so much to say about Boston? Because my "now" comes from there: my well-cultivated sense of frustrated ambition and insecurity, as well as the people who make up the structure of some of my most important memories.
More than Pittsburgh, more than Taipei, Boston is what I call my home.
But if I forever think of only Boston as home, while my life takes me in other directions for who knows how many years, how can I learn how to grow into someone more balanced and complete?
On another day, I will spell out the details of my life on the 13th floor in the Yokohama International Student House in Tsurumi, the trains that wind their way through Yokohama, and the classrooms on the 5th floor of Pacifico Yokohama. Part of me thinks that there is nothing to say, because I have not grown enough in this past half year or so for it to be worth mentioning, my knowledge of Japanese and "Japan" amounts to nothing, I have only failed over & over in both big and small ways since arriving - that can't be all, though.
If I want to try showing you a bit more of the color in my life from now on, it's mostly for me.
Here's to my balancing act between Boston, every scattered place in various countries where I have friends, now, and the future -- and also to realizing my struggle between pushing forward and creating breathing space as yet another permanent balancing act.
This is to you, Boston, but also to me and the many other details which will be crammed into my life from this point on.
I think I may be happy.
If I'm talking about now, why do I have so much to say about Boston? Because my "now" comes from there: my well-cultivated sense of frustrated ambition and insecurity, as well as the people who make up the structure of some of my most important memories.
More than Pittsburgh, more than Taipei, Boston is what I call my home.
But if I forever think of only Boston as home, while my life takes me in other directions for who knows how many years, how can I learn how to grow into someone more balanced and complete?
On another day, I will spell out the details of my life on the 13th floor in the Yokohama International Student House in Tsurumi, the trains that wind their way through Yokohama, and the classrooms on the 5th floor of Pacifico Yokohama. Part of me thinks that there is nothing to say, because I have not grown enough in this past half year or so for it to be worth mentioning, my knowledge of Japanese and "Japan" amounts to nothing, I have only failed over & over in both big and small ways since arriving - that can't be all, though.
If I want to try showing you a bit more of the color in my life from now on, it's mostly for me.
Here's to my balancing act between Boston, every scattered place in various countries where I have friends, now, and the future -- and also to realizing my struggle between pushing forward and creating breathing space as yet another permanent balancing act.
This is to you, Boston, but also to me and the many other details which will be crammed into my life from this point on.
I think I may be happy.