Emo lj posts are so 2000 and late

[enyasurvivor]

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I think I've waited to long to do anything, but what if I actually didn't? What if she actually does like me and I'm just to nervous to talk to her? Why do I decide to be super nice to girls I like? All it does is make me their best friend instead of the one they dream of being with. I need to stop thinking about this, because it distracts all my thoughts during the day and what I dream about at night. Not doing anything about it is just causing it to become worse and worse, and more awkward as each day passes that we hang out together. Yet she doesn't even know. She has no idea the turmoil that she has put on me. What if she knows that I like her? Maybe that's why things are awkward. Because she doesn't know how to act around me. Yet why would she be so friendly to me if that were the case? Why am I the only one she stares at while we're sitting at dinner? Why am I the only one that gets a goodbye without fail whenever she leaves the table? Why am I her buddy at any party we go to? Why do we have so much in common that it seems like we should've been dating years ago? And why is it that even though we have so much in common, we can be so different? Why do my nerves always get in the way of what I really want in life? Why can't I ever just focus and not worry about possible scenarios? I'll never know until I try, but I'll never get hurt if I don't try. That is the dilemma, and it is killing me.

For anyone who read this, you're weird because you're still on lj, and sorry for writing this, but I had to tell someone, but I know that people get annoyed with me whenever I talk about her.