bleh.
Not sleeping is no good, plus i just realized i didnt eat anything today.. i have class in 4 hrs, and have not yet fallen asleep. My insomnia is getting worse and worse, and i cant even think straight. I dont have to go to comms or math tomorrow, i should, but considering that i have gotten no sleep... i dont even know if 3 classes is even fathamable. maybe ill go to sociology, skip math, and then go to comms.. ill get e/c if i go to comms. I think my insomnia is so bad, because im so stressed out. Im so sick of everything. I hate school, niu blows my hairy cock. I cant wait til a year from now when im at uic. One good thing is im 1/4 of the way done at this redic. hell hole. Im debating right now if its worth going to sleep, considering that i have to be up in 3 hrs. if i do, and ill prob me more tired when i get up. I think im going to go shower at 6, then eat breakfast.. sit around and watch t.v. and go to class, by then ill be getting my 2nd wind. then i can come back get a 30 min nap and go to comms. sounds like a plan. October is almost here.. makes me real happy, i love october. I cant wait til winter break. Oh yes.. i need to find a job here... you see my random thought pattern? thats why i cant sleep.
Also as much as i love sam and want to be with him forever, im starting to see that i might need a break, because its stresfull to have a b/f when you're at school... i dunno though. we'll see.
Nick was supposed to come here this weekend, but bitch hasnt called yet.
I feel myself getting depressed again, its more scary then you will ever know. More scary then being depressed period. When you get out of depression and you feel yourself slipping back in, you know what you have to deal with this time around. I've been trying everything to stop it from coming back, but i cant. and i know it will eventually catch up with me. Maybe its all the stress and lack of sleep.. or maybe they are due to the depression.. i dunno. I need time to think, and i surely do not get it here. I cant wait for next year when im no longer in the dorms. I need to try to start getting normal amounts of sleep. My bed time is 1 from now on.
I get to see lena, wally, erick, phil, and jon this weekend.. i am SO happy. I cant wait.. i miss all of them so much. woo woo.. (thats how my whistle goes).. haha
well i think im going to try to find something to do.. if there is anything to do at 5 am.... ??
niki
Also as much as i love sam and want to be with him forever, im starting to see that i might need a break, because its stresfull to have a b/f when you're at school... i dunno though. we'll see.
Nick was supposed to come here this weekend, but bitch hasnt called yet.
I feel myself getting depressed again, its more scary then you will ever know. More scary then being depressed period. When you get out of depression and you feel yourself slipping back in, you know what you have to deal with this time around. I've been trying everything to stop it from coming back, but i cant. and i know it will eventually catch up with me. Maybe its all the stress and lack of sleep.. or maybe they are due to the depression.. i dunno. I need time to think, and i surely do not get it here. I cant wait for next year when im no longer in the dorms. I need to try to start getting normal amounts of sleep. My bed time is 1 from now on.
I get to see lena, wally, erick, phil, and jon this weekend.. i am SO happy. I cant wait.. i miss all of them so much. woo woo.. (thats how my whistle goes).. haha
well i think im going to try to find something to do.. if there is anything to do at 5 am.... ??
niki