sick sad little world..
I hate fathers day. I hate it more then i hate any day of the year. Its such a pointless day for me, seeing as though my dad doesnt give two shits about me, and i dont give two shits about him. I saw him last about 4 mos. ago, after my grandma on that side died, that was the first time i'd seen him since i was in 4th grade, so thats 8 years. 8 years without a drop in visit, a phone call, much less, a letter. Dont get me wrong, i have my uncle, and i always give him a card and what not, but lets face it he's not my dad. And he can't feel the emptines that i have inside me, due to the fact that my father could really care less if i was dead. Another reason i hate fathers day, is because when i want to hang out with any of my friends, i cant, i sit at home and im bored, because they all have their dads/step-dads to spend this "wonderful" day with. So i get to sit at home, and sit on this, and contemplate all of this, when id really rather just push it to the back of my mind and forget about it. The past week at work has been un believably hard, seeing these mothers, and their children come through my line buying their dad's day cards. And what happens with me, i spend an hour searching through hundreds of cards, to find a "happy fathers day , to my dear uncle." card. Much worse, the card sucks. Or if i find a funny card, that i know my uncle will like, i have to cross out dad, and write in uncle. That might sound like a rediculous complaint, but you dont understand how it feels. If while im sitting there at work, checking out, "happy fathersday, to the best daddy in the world." it feels like a hard punch to the gut. or "happy dad's day, you've always been there for me." a strong stab to the eye. And i have to go to work in 2 hrs, and experience the late, disrespectful fucks, buying their fathers their cards at the absolute last minuet, because they dont care enough to get there dad a good card. i dunno. this day makes me mad every year. well i gotta go get ready for work.
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