(no subject)
okay. i know i’ve been telling you a million stories and rambling on and on, but this one’s good. i thought for sure that if i rearranged my bedroom i would never write again. all that aside, there are graveyards in our beds. we sleep among the dead, we sleep among the dead. look at this tobacco i spilled on my desk (i want to leave a trail). i want to follow it back someday and make sense of these sad summers. who is watching but us? i look over my shoulder. there is cotton candy in my eyes. my grandfather pours his beer out on the patio and begins to recite: “fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair....” he died gracefully like the willow outside his bathroom window. my brother and i would have kept up his tomato garden if weren’t so afraid of uncovering his bones. oh, industry! how you’ve betrayed us. the young ones. my parents didn’t get it right but tried to pretend that they did. oh, normalcy! perpetuate! their generation fell dead in the middle of the road. but where their breath stops is not where we begin. if only human progress could be so linear. i’ve made a lot of mistakes. but somehow i don’t feel like i’ve paid my dues. my heart is still too shiny, and i spend too much time in my room. this land, this body. i do not recognize the forms as i chase the sun across the sky in my flying teapot. what will the sky bring us today? i trust my bones more than the television. can we go to chicago? can i impress you with my vast knowledge of geography? can i jump to the end of your sentence and beat you to the punch line? i told my future wife tonight that when i was old i would start a nudist colony on the coast of newfoundland. or at least a place with an equally notable name. she offered to crochet a house for me so that we could drink tea and mill over our travels, the love we never expected to find or to lose. but i’ve got to keep my head in the present. my head found pockets in his flesh. i used to hide things there, hoping he would find them long after i left and then he would think of me. i use too many propositions and too much punctuation, i know, but please. (stay) with; me.