euphoric state at musical practice (eek)

[envogue87]

I had the weirdest out of body experience..I'm not sure if it was out of body or extremely introspective... I was standing on the stage during musical practice.. I could see the dust in the beams of the stage lights.. and all of a sudden everybodies' voices became muffled background noise like I was underwater and I felt so tiny. Like I looked at the hundreds of seats in the auditorium ...and the masses of kids spread out on stage..but yet I felt alone...like they were water and I was oil. I just stood there looking around me ..surrounded by a separating bubble. I became extremely depressed and hopeful all at the same time.. like nothing mattered... why was I there? the future seemed so big and I felt like a microscopic figure rotating on an axis. But then I felt hopeful b/c I knew that there was more than this.. That I was alone/ my experience was entirely my own and no one elses.. I could be selfish with what my future had in store for me.. It was a present, a wonderful surprise..I felt comforted by this isolation...

Okay.. im sorry..hopefully i dont sound precocious ... I mean I just wanted to articulate it somehow.. i dunno.. whatever... I just really wanted to record this somewhere b.c it was the most surreal experience I've ever had.. I swear I am not high on anything.. I sort of want to write it down somewhere and look back on it next year.. alrighty ...nighty night