Writing again!
I haven't been posting my writing assignments like I had intended, mostly because I haven't enjoyed the assignments my teacher has given out. However, our newest assignment (thats due Tuesday) is to revise a previous assignment. Therefore, I have decided to post the assignment that I plan on revising, along with the criteria. Now, this must be revised a fair amount, so please leave any comments/suggestions that come to mind. Anything will help in trying to better the story.
Criteria:
- 1st person narrative
- all falling action (i.e. the crisis has already taken place)
- left to explain something you can't explain
- title: incorporate pattern of imagery in relation to the title
- pattern of positive and negative details (2-3 positives, than a negative)
- begin and end in unresolved conflict
Channel Surfing
I miss her.
It was a simple truth. A fact that was ever present, yet non-existent. There was nothing that could truly explain why I missed her. All I could do was sit there and flip through the channels, finding nothing of interest to watch.
As I jumped from channel to channel, I would get this sudden impulse to stop smacking the clicker. There on the screen would be trees. Hundreds upon thousands of trees. As the camera slowly made its majestic arc above the trees, I would allow my mind to wander.
The time we went camping in the hills. Surrounded by trees we somehow managed to make a fire in order to roast us some smores.
“I can’t imagine a better evening,” she said. She snuggled closer to me, in the process catching her smore on fire.
As we blew her smore off together, our eyes locked. Whenever this occurred, I always saw the most caring light flow from her eyes. It always lifted my heart to know that look was just for me, and that she meant every word of it.
Then she quickly turned away, closing her eyes in the process.
I started flipping through the channels again. I knew something was wrong. There were enough warning signs. But I never did anything about it. I never tried to discover what it was that was eating at her. She of course never mentioned it to me. I suspect it was because she didn’t want me to worry about her. I always worried too much.
My hand stopped again. Water as far as the eye could see filled the screen. The only object obscuring my view of the water was a tiny fishing boat, which again set me off.
We were at the lake. Specifically on the dock, attempting to fish. I say attempting cause if you watched us for more than 5 minutes, it was clear that we had no idea what we were doing. But it didn’t matter. We were laughing and teasing each other, and basically having the time of our lives.
After awhile, we put our rods away and just sat there on the edge, arm in arm. She smiled at me and started whispering into my ear all the things that she loved about me. It was always amazing that she could list so many things, and vary them up so that I wouldn’t hear the same qualities for at least three or four whisperings.
That was a gift she had. She could weave her words in the most majestic way I’ve ever seen. This was something that I loved about, and hated about her. I loved it when she was telling me how great I was, how great her day had been, or any other enjoyable event. But on the dock, the ugly version reared its head.
I had made the mistake of leaning away from her as she was whispering in my ear. It wasn’t intentional, but that mattered not. Once the movement was made, the verbal lashing would begin. The same words that told me how wonderful I was were now twisting to inform me of how terrible I’ve been.
I began surfing once again, attempting to block that memory out of my mind. It had been two weeks since I had broken it off with her. That’s right, I reminded myself. You broke it off with her.
Two weeks ago I knew why I left her. At least, I think I did. I have no recollection of my reasoning. All I know is that I need to keep flipping through the channels.
Criteria:
- 1st person narrative
- all falling action (i.e. the crisis has already taken place)
- left to explain something you can't explain
- title: incorporate pattern of imagery in relation to the title
- pattern of positive and negative details (2-3 positives, than a negative)
- begin and end in unresolved conflict
Channel Surfing
I miss her.
It was a simple truth. A fact that was ever present, yet non-existent. There was nothing that could truly explain why I missed her. All I could do was sit there and flip through the channels, finding nothing of interest to watch.
As I jumped from channel to channel, I would get this sudden impulse to stop smacking the clicker. There on the screen would be trees. Hundreds upon thousands of trees. As the camera slowly made its majestic arc above the trees, I would allow my mind to wander.
The time we went camping in the hills. Surrounded by trees we somehow managed to make a fire in order to roast us some smores.
“I can’t imagine a better evening,” she said. She snuggled closer to me, in the process catching her smore on fire.
As we blew her smore off together, our eyes locked. Whenever this occurred, I always saw the most caring light flow from her eyes. It always lifted my heart to know that look was just for me, and that she meant every word of it.
Then she quickly turned away, closing her eyes in the process.
I started flipping through the channels again. I knew something was wrong. There were enough warning signs. But I never did anything about it. I never tried to discover what it was that was eating at her. She of course never mentioned it to me. I suspect it was because she didn’t want me to worry about her. I always worried too much.
My hand stopped again. Water as far as the eye could see filled the screen. The only object obscuring my view of the water was a tiny fishing boat, which again set me off.
We were at the lake. Specifically on the dock, attempting to fish. I say attempting cause if you watched us for more than 5 minutes, it was clear that we had no idea what we were doing. But it didn’t matter. We were laughing and teasing each other, and basically having the time of our lives.
After awhile, we put our rods away and just sat there on the edge, arm in arm. She smiled at me and started whispering into my ear all the things that she loved about me. It was always amazing that she could list so many things, and vary them up so that I wouldn’t hear the same qualities for at least three or four whisperings.
That was a gift she had. She could weave her words in the most majestic way I’ve ever seen. This was something that I loved about, and hated about her. I loved it when she was telling me how great I was, how great her day had been, or any other enjoyable event. But on the dock, the ugly version reared its head.
I had made the mistake of leaning away from her as she was whispering in my ear. It wasn’t intentional, but that mattered not. Once the movement was made, the verbal lashing would begin. The same words that told me how wonderful I was were now twisting to inform me of how terrible I’ve been.
I began surfing once again, attempting to block that memory out of my mind. It had been two weeks since I had broken it off with her. That’s right, I reminded myself. You broke it off with her.
Two weeks ago I knew why I left her. At least, I think I did. I have no recollection of my reasoning. All I know is that I need to keep flipping through the channels.