Soooo.....WTF?
Yeah....soooo.....I've been having the most whirling whirlwind month ever...like seriously crazy, I don't even know what's going on anymore...It's all because of my Japanese friends/conversation partners...stuff happened/found out some of the guys wanted to do me/and many had crushes on me...WHY????!!! o.O This is the first time in my life that any of this has ever happened..NO JOKE AND NO EXAGERRATION! This shit is all real. I mean the kids all left last thursday back to Japan, and I haven't updated what happened so far, nor any pictures, so sorry for those of you reading about my escapades(really, who the hell reads what I post?) but I'll update all the pictures and little events, like going to the beach with them again, and other places, and graduation later. Right now, this is some really serious and big things going on. So I was freaking out for a while and then finally decided to calm down and type after having a good conversation about this with Mel. Thank you, I love you. And those of you who want to read this, sit back and relax, cuz it might take a bit.
So, it started like this: Ever since sports day with the J-kids, I started developing a crush, if you will, on one of the cutest boys named Ken. Well, it was because I saw him take off his shirt and play some sports and thought he was absolutely amazing(in both sports and body, goddamn he had the best body out of all the boys) Pretty shallow I know. But hey it all starts that way doesn't it? First visually and then some. Well, he was one of the most quiet boys in the 26 group of kids, plus he wasn't specifically in my group of 4 kids, nor was he in Chrysln's group(whom I hung out with alot). He was in Noreen's. ---I talked to all of them, all the kids from every group. That's why most of them talk to me more than the rest of the female CPs(conversation partners). Of course, the male CPs were all very entertaining and funny so everyone liked them. But the one-up I had on all the CPs was that I became fast friends with all the kids(I opened myself to them) which made me extremely happy cuz I love them all dearly. I don't want to sound like a freakin dick in this whole story, so if I do please inform me, cuz this is not supposed to be a pompous-like story. But anyways, the thing is they all treated me like a friend, not just a CP they come to twice a week because they have to. Okay, I digress...back to what I originally said. ---
Because I wanted to know him better, I started talking to him more. I invited all of them to my house for a potluck(food was brought from CPs and I cooked a shit-load of chinese barbecued/sauteed beef and oyster sauce and garlic chicken) and they all liked it, Thank God. It was fun and exciting having them at my house and that was one way I got to became faster friends with all of them and got to talk to Ken for a longer amount of time than I ever did. A whole five minutes.lol. I'm lame, I know. So here's the thing: I love talking with the Japanese girls, they're all so cute and wonderful! We bonded well. But the boys were whom I seriously became friends with. They were funny and energetic, so obviously I hung around with them more(not just because they were hawt,okay? Jeez, you people). So then I started noticing things about Seiya(Chrysln's boy) and the other Ken(Tim's boy) who will now dub "skinny-Ken" cuz he was seriously skinny as hell. They would constantly stare and glance in my direction and then talk quietly to each other and then look back at me...it was kind of strange. I asked Tweevy, one of the female CPs who was the kids' Japanese teacher's roommate, if something was up. She told me that the teacher said that many of the Japanese boys were sexually active and believes that these two seem to have THAT kind of interest in me...............so yeah.....(oh btw, their teacher is so extremely cool! She's a very independent woman who looks down upon the traditional Japanese gender stereotype thing where women are lower than men. And all the kids talk to her about almost everything). So I gave myself a little bit of a distance when i'm around them.
Toshio was the boy I became the closest friends with(besides Saori, who was tomboyish. I luff her XD). We talked with each other all the time and he was the most outgoing, outlandish, and the funniest boy in the entire group. He was never a bore to be around. But I never missed an oppurtunity to talk with Ken even though he didn't talk much and him and Toshio are total opposites lol. So anyways, Toshio is Chrysln's kid, but he talks to me more than her and she told me that the time on the bus after Balboa Island/beach where he poked me and talked to me about him almost dying at the beach because of the huge waves, Toshio didn't tell Chrysln at all until she overheard us and joined in. He's not even my kid, and he tells me these things, which was what should've been the first thing to tip me off. But Tweevy, who was sitting next to me on the bus says that Ken was looking in our direction the entire time I was supposedly animatedly talking to Toshio and apparently Chrysln noticed it too, just not me. -_-' I told the girls that he was probably staring at them two instead because they were way much hotter than me, like seriously. But I did notice that Seiya and skinny-ken were doing the stare-at-me-then-whisper-crap-thing. I talked to Tweevy about this again and she told me "Well, since everyone knows you're 18(the youngest in the entire group of people) and you've never had a boyfriend or been in a relationship, you're a prime target for many of them" Great. They just want to do me...and i seriously wanted to be friends with them, specifically Seiya cuz he's just as funny and talkative as Toshio. Whatever, like I said, I tried to stay away from them when I could. But I kept thinking: why me of all the hawt ladies to choose from?
So along came the graduation luncheon. I spent 2 days making 26 pillows that I painted "Komazawa-UCI Cool Kids!" in gold on so they can have a farewell gift from me. What can I say, I love the kids too much. So that day we all sat with our respective groups at tables and I just had to have one extra seat next to me. Seiya, skinny-Ken, Toshio, and Hidetaka came in to the room towards the end of the line and Seiya saw the seat and decided to sit next to me lol. Funny ain't it? He was unusually close when he leaned in to talk to me, now that I think about it. Apparently, as I later learned from Chrysln, Toshio was staring at me the entire time he was at another table and when he went up to do his speech he would glance up from his paper at me. At the end we all took individual pictures with each other and apparently the Japanese teacher told Ken about me wanting to be "better friends" with him and he said that she should have told him earlier. This was told to me via Tweevy. She gets all the scoop from their teacher, being her roommate and all. So he came specifically to me and wanted to take a picture with me and wanted to talk to me, but Hiro was ushering him to move so he could take a picture with me lol so cute. =P Anyways, I couldn't believe this when she told me later. It was just too wonderful to be true. But the teacher said I lost my chance when Ken came up to me because I held my feelings in for him and just smiled and talked like I noramlly did with all the kids. lol
After this, at a farewell party at the teacher and Tweevy's apartment, Tweevy said that Toshio was asking for me and only me. I felt that was really strange. But when the female CPs all heard about this, they all told me that Toshio really did like me all along. Yet again, I believed none of this. Why would this hawt Japanese boy like me at all? I'm seriously not a hawt chick, nor do I think I'm all that wonderful...all the Japanese girls were really hawt and cute so I assumed he would have something for them instead. But that night, Tweevy called me and said that tomorrow(Thursday) was my last chance to tell Ken I liked him before they went back to Japan. I felt like I couldn't. I felt that he would reject me utterly and never speak to me again or would think it disgusting that he recieved a letter of confession from an ugly chick like me. Like I said, I think that J-boys have higher standards for girls. But it took me about 3 hours to decide to write the damn letter. All I told him was that I liked him and that I just wanted him to know that. I just want to be better friends, nothing else. I'm seriuos, people! I took a vow of celibacy, no joke. lol
So along came the next day, and Tweevy and I were the only CPs that went to see them off-well off as in them riding the bus to the airport. I didn't talk to Ken at all that day, I was too nervous. Instead, I gave that letter to their teacher to give it to him later. Toshio saw me standing and talking with Tweevy on the opposite side of the smokers and decided to squat down near me and smoke and stare at me. I noticed him and said hi to him and he put out his cigarette and then came and talked to me. So yeah, stuff happened and he basically hinted to the fact that he liked me and said he had something for me. He went into his luggage and pulled out four little wrapped packages. And in them were these beautiful hand-woven Japanese cloth made items. One was this cute little cloth kimono bunny that I keep with me at all times! They looked freakin expensive and absolutely beautiful! I didn't know what to say except thank you and I hugged him. That was the first time I ever hugged any of the J-boys and from there all of them decided to start hugging me. It was quite an experience I tell ya. Cuz they're not used to all this physical contact like we touchy Americans are. But the thing is that Ken was watching this whole scene and apparently it's blatantly obvious to everyone, as I later learned, that Toshio liked me. And that's what worried me was that Ken saw all that. Then they left and everyone was teary-eyed.
A day later, their teacher called Tweevy who called me to tell me that she gave the letter to Ken on the bus where everyone could see!!!! I was freaking out about that cuz I didn't want anyone else knowing. Worst of all, Toshio knowing after he gave me all those gifts. But she told me that Ken blushed and was happy about it. And again, I didn't believe her. The teacher then told her that many of the boys actually had some sort of crush on me and I was the only one who didn't notice any of this. -_-'
So here we go: Of all the hawt girls, why me? I mean,I'm just so confused at all this that I don't know what to do. I have never been crushed on by a guy before and no guy has ever given me presents of that sort and the first guy who does so is this hawt Japanese guy? And many of them have crushes on me? Whoa, hold on there. There's something wrong. This should not be happening. It's just way too wierd for me. No other guy in California has ever done anything of the such or expressed interest in me and here we are with Japanese guys? I just don't understand. That's why I'm freaking out. Maybe they're just toying with me and nothing else. I refuse to believe they like me, cuz that's just impossible. You people may think I'm naive and stupid, but I seriosly don't think I'm good enough for that. For some strange reason, I think my confidence has lowered because of this. I don't know why or how...it just is. I should just stop thinking about hawt guys period. It's not good for my mental health. >.< I'll up with some pics of all the events later, for now, I'm just going to sit and contemplate and focus on studying for my finals...hopefully I'll forget all this in a couple of days...lol
So, it started like this: Ever since sports day with the J-kids, I started developing a crush, if you will, on one of the cutest boys named Ken. Well, it was because I saw him take off his shirt and play some sports and thought he was absolutely amazing(in both sports and body, goddamn he had the best body out of all the boys) Pretty shallow I know. But hey it all starts that way doesn't it? First visually and then some. Well, he was one of the most quiet boys in the 26 group of kids, plus he wasn't specifically in my group of 4 kids, nor was he in Chrysln's group(whom I hung out with alot). He was in Noreen's. ---I talked to all of them, all the kids from every group. That's why most of them talk to me more than the rest of the female CPs(conversation partners). Of course, the male CPs were all very entertaining and funny so everyone liked them. But the one-up I had on all the CPs was that I became fast friends with all the kids(I opened myself to them) which made me extremely happy cuz I love them all dearly. I don't want to sound like a freakin dick in this whole story, so if I do please inform me, cuz this is not supposed to be a pompous-like story. But anyways, the thing is they all treated me like a friend, not just a CP they come to twice a week because they have to. Okay, I digress...back to what I originally said. ---
Because I wanted to know him better, I started talking to him more. I invited all of them to my house for a potluck(food was brought from CPs and I cooked a shit-load of chinese barbecued/sauteed beef and oyster sauce and garlic chicken) and they all liked it, Thank God. It was fun and exciting having them at my house and that was one way I got to became faster friends with all of them and got to talk to Ken for a longer amount of time than I ever did. A whole five minutes.lol. I'm lame, I know. So here's the thing: I love talking with the Japanese girls, they're all so cute and wonderful! We bonded well. But the boys were whom I seriously became friends with. They were funny and energetic, so obviously I hung around with them more(not just because they were hawt,okay? Jeez, you people). So then I started noticing things about Seiya(Chrysln's boy) and the other Ken(Tim's boy) who will now dub "skinny-Ken" cuz he was seriously skinny as hell. They would constantly stare and glance in my direction and then talk quietly to each other and then look back at me...it was kind of strange. I asked Tweevy, one of the female CPs who was the kids' Japanese teacher's roommate, if something was up. She told me that the teacher said that many of the Japanese boys were sexually active and believes that these two seem to have THAT kind of interest in me...............so yeah.....(oh btw, their teacher is so extremely cool! She's a very independent woman who looks down upon the traditional Japanese gender stereotype thing where women are lower than men. And all the kids talk to her about almost everything). So I gave myself a little bit of a distance when i'm around them.
Toshio was the boy I became the closest friends with(besides Saori, who was tomboyish. I luff her XD). We talked with each other all the time and he was the most outgoing, outlandish, and the funniest boy in the entire group. He was never a bore to be around. But I never missed an oppurtunity to talk with Ken even though he didn't talk much and him and Toshio are total opposites lol. So anyways, Toshio is Chrysln's kid, but he talks to me more than her and she told me that the time on the bus after Balboa Island/beach where he poked me and talked to me about him almost dying at the beach because of the huge waves, Toshio didn't tell Chrysln at all until she overheard us and joined in. He's not even my kid, and he tells me these things, which was what should've been the first thing to tip me off. But Tweevy, who was sitting next to me on the bus says that Ken was looking in our direction the entire time I was supposedly animatedly talking to Toshio and apparently Chrysln noticed it too, just not me. -_-' I told the girls that he was probably staring at them two instead because they were way much hotter than me, like seriously. But I did notice that Seiya and skinny-ken were doing the stare-at-me-then-whisper-crap-thing. I talked to Tweevy about this again and she told me "Well, since everyone knows you're 18(the youngest in the entire group of people) and you've never had a boyfriend or been in a relationship, you're a prime target for many of them" Great. They just want to do me...and i seriously wanted to be friends with them, specifically Seiya cuz he's just as funny and talkative as Toshio. Whatever, like I said, I tried to stay away from them when I could. But I kept thinking: why me of all the hawt ladies to choose from?
So along came the graduation luncheon. I spent 2 days making 26 pillows that I painted "Komazawa-UCI Cool Kids!" in gold on so they can have a farewell gift from me. What can I say, I love the kids too much. So that day we all sat with our respective groups at tables and I just had to have one extra seat next to me. Seiya, skinny-Ken, Toshio, and Hidetaka came in to the room towards the end of the line and Seiya saw the seat and decided to sit next to me lol. Funny ain't it? He was unusually close when he leaned in to talk to me, now that I think about it. Apparently, as I later learned from Chrysln, Toshio was staring at me the entire time he was at another table and when he went up to do his speech he would glance up from his paper at me. At the end we all took individual pictures with each other and apparently the Japanese teacher told Ken about me wanting to be "better friends" with him and he said that she should have told him earlier. This was told to me via Tweevy. She gets all the scoop from their teacher, being her roommate and all. So he came specifically to me and wanted to take a picture with me and wanted to talk to me, but Hiro was ushering him to move so he could take a picture with me lol so cute. =P Anyways, I couldn't believe this when she told me later. It was just too wonderful to be true. But the teacher said I lost my chance when Ken came up to me because I held my feelings in for him and just smiled and talked like I noramlly did with all the kids. lol
After this, at a farewell party at the teacher and Tweevy's apartment, Tweevy said that Toshio was asking for me and only me. I felt that was really strange. But when the female CPs all heard about this, they all told me that Toshio really did like me all along. Yet again, I believed none of this. Why would this hawt Japanese boy like me at all? I'm seriously not a hawt chick, nor do I think I'm all that wonderful...all the Japanese girls were really hawt and cute so I assumed he would have something for them instead. But that night, Tweevy called me and said that tomorrow(Thursday) was my last chance to tell Ken I liked him before they went back to Japan. I felt like I couldn't. I felt that he would reject me utterly and never speak to me again or would think it disgusting that he recieved a letter of confession from an ugly chick like me. Like I said, I think that J-boys have higher standards for girls. But it took me about 3 hours to decide to write the damn letter. All I told him was that I liked him and that I just wanted him to know that. I just want to be better friends, nothing else. I'm seriuos, people! I took a vow of celibacy, no joke. lol
So along came the next day, and Tweevy and I were the only CPs that went to see them off-well off as in them riding the bus to the airport. I didn't talk to Ken at all that day, I was too nervous. Instead, I gave that letter to their teacher to give it to him later. Toshio saw me standing and talking with Tweevy on the opposite side of the smokers and decided to squat down near me and smoke and stare at me. I noticed him and said hi to him and he put out his cigarette and then came and talked to me. So yeah, stuff happened and he basically hinted to the fact that he liked me and said he had something for me. He went into his luggage and pulled out four little wrapped packages. And in them were these beautiful hand-woven Japanese cloth made items. One was this cute little cloth kimono bunny that I keep with me at all times! They looked freakin expensive and absolutely beautiful! I didn't know what to say except thank you and I hugged him. That was the first time I ever hugged any of the J-boys and from there all of them decided to start hugging me. It was quite an experience I tell ya. Cuz they're not used to all this physical contact like we touchy Americans are. But the thing is that Ken was watching this whole scene and apparently it's blatantly obvious to everyone, as I later learned, that Toshio liked me. And that's what worried me was that Ken saw all that. Then they left and everyone was teary-eyed.
A day later, their teacher called Tweevy who called me to tell me that she gave the letter to Ken on the bus where everyone could see!!!! I was freaking out about that cuz I didn't want anyone else knowing. Worst of all, Toshio knowing after he gave me all those gifts. But she told me that Ken blushed and was happy about it. And again, I didn't believe her. The teacher then told her that many of the boys actually had some sort of crush on me and I was the only one who didn't notice any of this. -_-'
So here we go: Of all the hawt girls, why me? I mean,I'm just so confused at all this that I don't know what to do. I have never been crushed on by a guy before and no guy has ever given me presents of that sort and the first guy who does so is this hawt Japanese guy? And many of them have crushes on me? Whoa, hold on there. There's something wrong. This should not be happening. It's just way too wierd for me. No other guy in California has ever done anything of the such or expressed interest in me and here we are with Japanese guys? I just don't understand. That's why I'm freaking out. Maybe they're just toying with me and nothing else. I refuse to believe they like me, cuz that's just impossible. You people may think I'm naive and stupid, but I seriosly don't think I'm good enough for that. For some strange reason, I think my confidence has lowered because of this. I don't know why or how...it just is. I should just stop thinking about hawt guys period. It's not good for my mental health. >.< I'll up with some pics of all the events later, for now, I'm just going to sit and contemplate and focus on studying for my finals...hopefully I'll forget all this in a couple of days...lol