Middleman stuffs!
Itty bitty ficlets I wrote for scifiland & fandomverse ages ago, + a love bar made for scifiland.
Title: Pressure Points
Fandom(s): The Middleman
Pairing: gen
Rating: G
Word Count: 109
Written for: scifiland's pass-it-on challenge; borrowed phrase is in bold
"No thanks,” Wendy said. “I’d rather learn how to ‘oil’ my ‘gun.’”
“Dubby, you know full well that pulse pistols don’t last forever. Proper maintenance of one’s equipment is critical.”
“That is not my equipment,” Wendy said flatly.
“Next time you want to run a scan for an ion catalyzer with an alpha radiation emissions signature, remember that,” Ida said.
“Wendy,” her boss said, looking up at her with perfect sincerity, “to be a Middleman, you must undertake the given task with zeal and vigor, unpleasant though you may find it.”
Wendy cringed in disgust as Ida flexed the toes of her bare feet.
“Now start rubbing,” Ida said.
Title: Stuck in the Middle
Fandom(s): The Middleman
Pairing: gen
Rating: G
Word Count: 109
Written for: scifiland's pass-it-on challenge; borrowed phrase is in bold
With clowns to the left and jokers to the right, they were outnumbered.
“Boss?” Wendy asked.
“What is it, Dubby?”
“You ever feel like you’re stuck in a cheesy folk rock song from the early 1970’s?”
“Often.” The Middleman gave a tight nod, without taking his eyes off the enemy.
“There’s something hinky about these guys,” Wendy said.
“Heavens to Murgatroyd! Don’t tell me you suffer from coulrophobia!” the Middleman exclaimed.
“No,” Wendy said, “It’s just... their faces. A clown’s face should be painted differently than a harlequin’s. But these guys all look the same.”
The Middleman took a closer look, then grinned. “Wendy, you’ve saved the day again.”
Title: L-A-C-E-Y
Fandom(s): The Middleman
Pairing: gen, background Wendy/Tyler
Rating: PG
Word Count: 210
Written for: fandomverse's pass-it-on challenge; prompt was "sad"
“…and then he tried to force me to take a Jell-o shot!” Lacey moaned melodramatically.
“Getting you drunk to take advantage of you? What a jackass!” Tyler said sympathetically.
Wendy dug an elbow into his side, raising her eyebrows. “Have you ever seen this girl turn down anything alcoholic?”
Lacey whirled about to face Tyler, eyes flashing angrily. “Do you know what’s in Jell-o? Gelatin. And do you know what they use to make gelatin? Collagen from the body parts of defenseless farm animals, that’s what. They take the bones from pigs and horses and grind them up…”
“Now you’ve done it,” Wendy muttered surreptitiously to Tyler as Lacey continued to rant.
“Hey, at least she’s not sad anymore,” Tyler said, his mouth curling up a bit at the corner.
“Tyler Ford, you are some kind of evil genius,” Wendy whispered into his ear, taking his hand in hers.
Title: Pressure Points
Fandom(s): The Middleman
Pairing: gen
Rating: G
Word Count: 109
Written for: scifiland's pass-it-on challenge; borrowed phrase is in bold
"No thanks,” Wendy said. “I’d rather learn how to ‘oil’ my ‘gun.’”
“Dubby, you know full well that pulse pistols don’t last forever. Proper maintenance of one’s equipment is critical.”
“That is not my equipment,” Wendy said flatly.
“Next time you want to run a scan for an ion catalyzer with an alpha radiation emissions signature, remember that,” Ida said.
“Wendy,” her boss said, looking up at her with perfect sincerity, “to be a Middleman, you must undertake the given task with zeal and vigor, unpleasant though you may find it.”
Wendy cringed in disgust as Ida flexed the toes of her bare feet.
“Now start rubbing,” Ida said.
Title: Stuck in the Middle
Fandom(s): The Middleman
Pairing: gen
Rating: G
Word Count: 109
Written for: scifiland's pass-it-on challenge; borrowed phrase is in bold
With clowns to the left and jokers to the right, they were outnumbered.
“Boss?” Wendy asked.
“What is it, Dubby?”
“You ever feel like you’re stuck in a cheesy folk rock song from the early 1970’s?”
“Often.” The Middleman gave a tight nod, without taking his eyes off the enemy.
“There’s something hinky about these guys,” Wendy said.
“Heavens to Murgatroyd! Don’t tell me you suffer from coulrophobia!” the Middleman exclaimed.
“No,” Wendy said, “It’s just... their faces. A clown’s face should be painted differently than a harlequin’s. But these guys all look the same.”
The Middleman took a closer look, then grinned. “Wendy, you’ve saved the day again.”
Title: L-A-C-E-Y
Fandom(s): The Middleman
Pairing: gen, background Wendy/Tyler
Rating: PG
Word Count: 210
Written for: fandomverse's pass-it-on challenge; prompt was "sad"
“…and then he tried to force me to take a Jell-o shot!” Lacey moaned melodramatically.
“Getting you drunk to take advantage of you? What a jackass!” Tyler said sympathetically.
Wendy dug an elbow into his side, raising her eyebrows. “Have you ever seen this girl turn down anything alcoholic?”
Lacey whirled about to face Tyler, eyes flashing angrily. “Do you know what’s in Jell-o? Gelatin. And do you know what they use to make gelatin? Collagen from the body parts of defenseless farm animals, that’s what. They take the bones from pigs and horses and grind them up…”
“Now you’ve done it,” Wendy muttered surreptitiously to Tyler as Lacey continued to rant.
“Hey, at least she’s not sad anymore,” Tyler said, his mouth curling up a bit at the corner.
“Tyler Ford, you are some kind of evil genius,” Wendy whispered into his ear, taking his hand in hers.