Let me just say this about that.....
Well, I never use this thing. But I made the decision a couple of days ago that I would do a new years post. Sort of a recap of the past year. Its been an interesting one and one of which, I'll never forget. I have many scars, physically and emotionally from the year that had just passed as well as I'm sure I've left many on others. I'm a lot different now than I was before. I'm a lot happier now than I was before. I'm a lot older mentally and physically as well. I'm not quite sure of the order I'm going put this all in so if it is random, please excuse me but at the same time, please don't message me on here or MSN bitching and whinning over what I say anyway. Nothing is really new in here, they are all things that everyone knows just things that some may not want to hear. But anyway, lets move along shall we?
Last New Years eve was a definite night of interest. I had to work on New Years Eve, so I got home at roughly nine at night. I was supposed to stop by Maja's for a drink. I wasn't too keen on going. I don't know, going to a party where my ex girlfriend of sorts was there with my ex best friend of sorts whom of which he was pathetically chasing as well as drugs being in there all combined with my mental instability... Maybe I'm just being whiny but it just didn't seem too appealing that evening. But regardless of that, I decided, since I was trying to be a good person to show up anyway. But I got home, laid down for a few minutes, Eleanor came and laid down with me and low and behold, I'm asleep. I wake up, its a new year. In a sense it is somewhat symbolic of the journey I was facing now anyway. A long trip alone but a trip full of pit stops and fun, but let us not get too far ahead of ourselves just yet! We don't want to party too hard here without getting all the details.
So.
Moving along.
I was CSC at Winners by this point. A job that I had hated very much so at this point. Bernie was a complete and utter cold hearted bitch. My training was very simple. Here are some keys now go. The job itself wasn't that easy though and if I would make a mistake, I would be yelled at. It was rather stressful, I'll tell you that much. People didn't listen and it was just hard for me. But as time progressed, she eventually left and we got Susy. Oh she was awesome. But I won't get into her yet. I'll move along. So basically at this point, I hate my job, I don't really have any friends and I STILL DIDN'T FINISH MY FUCKING SPIDER!
I still spoke to Maja, not often but I still did. It was kind of odd to be honest. It was kind of like just keeping that one last touch to my former self. The one that died that dreadful summer where it was all just a cry for attention. Or so people who call ME self centered on the matter. The nerve. I swear. Here I am, in a fucking hospital because I snapped and THEY turn it into THEM, how dare I do something like that? How DARE I!!!! but either way, that is a novel on its own. A novel novel to be honest. SO YES, back to Maja. It was so odd though, our friendship in a sense felt forced. Or at least for me it did. I still cared about her, don't get me wrong. I cared a lot for her but at the same time, we just weren't on the same page as before and we just really talked because we did for so long before. Well, time dwindled with us and I became better at my job! GO ME! This is when life began looking up, sort of.
I spent a lot of time with Hammy and Mikelle at this point. Hammy mostly since Mikelle was a difficult child to get a hold of. But Hammy and I would have our routine friday nights at the Kingdom. They were nice actually. It kind of gave a reason to look forward to something. But then again, the Kingdom isn't all that swell either way. Its kind of a dirt infested hole of dirtbag drunks just trying to get a good lay meanwhile the relatively clean girls there are only there because they are dragged there. It was kind of funny to watch. For Hammy and I, we mostly went to hang out with Andrea and Kathy. Both of which are kick ass girls. But I'll digress more with Andrea later. But yes, the monotony of the Kingdom began to wear off. It was fun but it was losing its touch, plus Andrea had moved to Nova Scotia by this point to live with Lucas, which I was really happy to see. She was moving along in life which was awesome. But yes, back to me! I'm so selfish.... My birthday was coming....hooray! 20! ................
SO!
MY BIRTHDAY!
WAS A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT!
But there is no one to really blame. Well other than father. I had to work on my birthday but I wasn't too bothered by that. The plan was....
THURSDAY! my birthday, I would go to Hamilton, check out Curtis's drawing of my angel wings and then make the appointment to finish them.
FRIDAY! Go to the Kingdom AND 107!!! LIVIN' LARGE IF I SAY SO MYSELF!
SATURDAY! Have dinner with a few friends, nothing special...
SUNDAY! Rest after a kick ass weekend.
What actually happened....
THURSDAY! MY BIRTHDAY!!!! Went to Hamilton, got lost in the shit hole. Had my father yell at me because he got lost and was FAR too stubborn to ask for directions. Finally found Sink 'n' Ink and they were closed... I hid from father who had parked at this point, called my mother and cried about everything. We had a good heart to heart. God I love mother. But either way, we decided we'd go on friday during the day. Came home and cried....
FRIDAY! We went, Curtis couldn't do the wings until Sunday but that was ok. Made the appointment. We went to Kingdom later on, Paul, Mikelle, Hammy and myself ohhh and Erin.... But yes.. Kingdom was closed down. We went to 107 and they wouldn't let Paul in. So Erin and I had two drinks and left. Went home rather dissapointed might I add.
SATURDAY! Had dinner but nothing too special.
SUNDAY! Got my wings. The only real thing that actually worked out.
So that was my birthday and it was shitty and I hated it and I hate birthdays.
Moving along.
Lets jump ahead to Tovah.
Tovah was a girl I had met through Vicki and we began talking. Things went pretty well actually. We started dating it was probably the most expensive relationship I've ever had. Not due to her but due to where she lived. Bolton! WHERE THE FUCK IS BOLTON! Better yet, WHAT THE FUCK IS BOLTON! A shitty small piece of crap in Ontario. No public transportation, so I'd take a bus to Brampton, take a cab that cost roughly 40 bucks and then finally got there after about two hours of journey. This was a once a week deal to boot. But as you could imagine Tovah and I didn't quite work out.I wasn't really ready for a relationship or at least not a serious one, which is what she wanted at the time and that stemmed into a large amount of arguments and basically we broke up. End of that really. We still talk. Actually we've been talking the past few days. Its nice. She's taking me to Bright Eyes, how sweet no? And people say I'm such an ass. Either they are wrong or I am ONE LUCKY ASS! Ah well, either way. Its going to be awesome.
Lets jump forward to the summer.
The summer was an interesting one to say. By this point, Willson and I were finally good friends again. Actually the best we've ever been. Its awesome, I love the silly bastard. Even though I'm sure some will say that I "STOLE" him from another group, but if you ask me, a group that is hell bent on intoxication and destruction, well YOUR DAMN WELL GOING TO DESTROY FRIENDSHIPS TOO DON'T YA THINK?!?!?! But either way. Willson and I were good friends. Rob and I became friends, which was nice too. Andrea had moved back due to relationship issues. Yeah, that is another story on its own and it isn't mine to tell but man, that girl... poor poor Andrea. We are two peas in a pod and if I'm an ass than she is an ass, which I don't think she is so I guess by association I must be good! AT LAST AN ARGUMENT I CAN USE! But poor girl has the worst luck. One day, I'll make a machine that can clone or just flat out make people and I'll make her a 16 year old skater boy with sleeves and as tall as the sky can reach and will ALWAYS! ALWAYS!!!! carry a skateboard around. But I'll make a summary of people by the end, so I'll move on.
My job was going well actually. Susy was fucking awesome! She trusted me, she listened to me, she made me smile. It was great. First time at work that I actually enjoyed being there since I became CSC. The sweetheart even got me something for my birthday!!! Gotta love her. We all did there. I wish her the best. :)
My cousin came down durin the summer, Sarah. She is awesome. She brings the mosh. Honestly, that girl gave new meaning to my life. For once I finally felt this love that I've missed for so long. It wasn't one of those lovey dovey crap either. It was true unconditional love. She had no choice! I WAS FAMILY! BLOOD FAMILY! She's stuck with me... sucker... Ah well, she came down, we had an awesome time. We took her all around town and let me tell you! She is a sport! Gladly came with us all around town without an utter complaint. I felt this connection with her. She is so much like me, poor girl. But ah well. I met her, we got along swell, that's right I SAID SWELL! I decided I'd visit her in Kingston for a week and had an even better time! TIME OF MY LIFE! God, for the first time I loved my family! it was weird, exciting and rivating all at once! NON STOP ROLLERCOASTER OF NOTHING! We didn't do anything TOO special but man, that ferry. We'll always have the ferry dear. Silly Wolfe Island, when will you ever learn? Moving along to Krysten...
Krysten was a nice girl. She's an odd child but she really did care. She wanted to save me, which kind of destroyed everything but none the less. This was the first time in a long time that a real strain was put on my friendship with Willson and I didn't want that so I treaded my waters very carefully. I made it quite clear that I would not do anything that would hurt Willson but he gave me the go ahead, what a trooper that Willson. But as you could guess, nothing really came of that.
I was still crazy by this point. Well, I still am and I always will be but what can you really do right? The summer got to me really badly, I must say. Since memories of the summer before and all those selfish, selfish bastards.... but lets not get sidetracked. The summer was hard, I was in the hospital a lot. I drank a lot. Once I spent over 60 bucks at a bar in under an hour and man was I ever fucked. I EVEN WENT TO WORK THE NEXT MORNING! But yes, drinking got a bit out of hand, so I put that one back under control. So no need for an intervention people. But overly it was a good summer, one of which will not be soon forgotten.
SO...
Where are we now?
SOUZAN!
Souzan is crazy and that's why I love her. She landed herself into a bit of trouble, so we really bonded. It was one of those lessons that further you in life. But either way, I won't go into grave detail. Its another one of those "not my stories to tell". But either way, we started going out. October 5th to be exact and we've been going out since. I wish there was more to say about this but honestly, there isn't. We argue, we make up. Its a good relationship and I am happy. I love the girl to death and she is very caring and sincere. So since its an on going story, can't say much right?
Ummm
Where are we now?
Am I getting tired?
I have been at this for about an hour.
My writing is really odd. If you are keeping up, congrats!
IF YOU'VE READ THE ENTIRE THING, I WILL BUY YOU A COOKIE! Seriously, I really will. Just call me. I'll get it for you. Just tell me what you like.
I had probably the best christmas ever this year. The family was really close. It was really odd but beautiful all at once. For the first christmas, the MacDonald's here were a FAMILY! BELIEVE THAT!!! AN ACTUAL FAMILY! Not that it is still that way now but still, you get my point.
Oh! Update on work. I hate my job again. Susy left. Got transfered. We got this fat bitch Crystle. She's annoying and I can't stand her. Aneta is an arrogant bitch but she is nice sometimes, so I won't complain THAT much about her but oh man, Crystle. GOD!
Back the holidays.
New Years was here. I got kind of drunk, passed out, woke up and had to help my dogs. You see Eleanor Rigby and Father Mackenzie don't quite get along as well as the song would suggest. So I had fun with that but it was nice. Not too big, not too small. Awesome!
SO!
RECAP ON PEOPLE OF GREAT IMPORTANCE OF THIS YEAR!
Well, I'm just going to detail those that I didn't mention much about.
Willson and I are jolly good friends or as Andrea puts it, Operation Alex-Willson. Its awesome. We do learn a lot off one another and its a pretty good relationship now. If I get pissed, which I tend to do a lot.. You can't be a princess and always be happy! and jeez, you really think that I would be perfect by now? I'm still crazy you know.. but either way, if either of us need anything, come hell or high water we'll do it for one another.
Andrea and I are on the best point so far, or at least I'd like to believe so. We truly are two peas in a pod and by golly! I pity that pod! She's the most understanding person I know. I'd go into all the sappy crap but I'll cry, if she reads this, she'll cry and yeah.... we already had our heart to heart in her basement AND chapters.. oh silly chapters.
Rob is still kicking it. There isn't much to say for Rob. He's ROB! That is how to describe him.
There are plenty of others that have come and gone, just because you didn't get a mention in this, don't think that I don't care! I care very deeply. I remember you all, the pain, the tears that I have caused you or that you have caused me. You're still in my heart.
My tattoo's are now up to 5. I have my wings, all done. I have my spider, all done. I have Lock Shock and Barrel tattoo'd on my leg too now!
Mentally, I'm still swinging around. I'm building up for my birthday, I did do alright for the holidays, I'd be lying if I was happy the whole time, but who is ever truly happy? AND FUCK JUSTIFYING MYSELF TO YOU BASTARDS! *shakes fist... but only out of love*
And I think that is pretty much well that. Lets see how this year goes... and remember I honestly do love you all. And I hope that one day people of the past will realize that there is life beyond their little box they've created. The world is more complex than suicide is only for attention and that drugs can cure all. Good luck!
Last New Years eve was a definite night of interest. I had to work on New Years Eve, so I got home at roughly nine at night. I was supposed to stop by Maja's for a drink. I wasn't too keen on going. I don't know, going to a party where my ex girlfriend of sorts was there with my ex best friend of sorts whom of which he was pathetically chasing as well as drugs being in there all combined with my mental instability... Maybe I'm just being whiny but it just didn't seem too appealing that evening. But regardless of that, I decided, since I was trying to be a good person to show up anyway. But I got home, laid down for a few minutes, Eleanor came and laid down with me and low and behold, I'm asleep. I wake up, its a new year. In a sense it is somewhat symbolic of the journey I was facing now anyway. A long trip alone but a trip full of pit stops and fun, but let us not get too far ahead of ourselves just yet! We don't want to party too hard here without getting all the details.
So.
Moving along.
I was CSC at Winners by this point. A job that I had hated very much so at this point. Bernie was a complete and utter cold hearted bitch. My training was very simple. Here are some keys now go. The job itself wasn't that easy though and if I would make a mistake, I would be yelled at. It was rather stressful, I'll tell you that much. People didn't listen and it was just hard for me. But as time progressed, she eventually left and we got Susy. Oh she was awesome. But I won't get into her yet. I'll move along. So basically at this point, I hate my job, I don't really have any friends and I STILL DIDN'T FINISH MY FUCKING SPIDER!
I still spoke to Maja, not often but I still did. It was kind of odd to be honest. It was kind of like just keeping that one last touch to my former self. The one that died that dreadful summer where it was all just a cry for attention. Or so people who call ME self centered on the matter. The nerve. I swear. Here I am, in a fucking hospital because I snapped and THEY turn it into THEM, how dare I do something like that? How DARE I!!!! but either way, that is a novel on its own. A novel novel to be honest. SO YES, back to Maja. It was so odd though, our friendship in a sense felt forced. Or at least for me it did. I still cared about her, don't get me wrong. I cared a lot for her but at the same time, we just weren't on the same page as before and we just really talked because we did for so long before. Well, time dwindled with us and I became better at my job! GO ME! This is when life began looking up, sort of.
I spent a lot of time with Hammy and Mikelle at this point. Hammy mostly since Mikelle was a difficult child to get a hold of. But Hammy and I would have our routine friday nights at the Kingdom. They were nice actually. It kind of gave a reason to look forward to something. But then again, the Kingdom isn't all that swell either way. Its kind of a dirt infested hole of dirtbag drunks just trying to get a good lay meanwhile the relatively clean girls there are only there because they are dragged there. It was kind of funny to watch. For Hammy and I, we mostly went to hang out with Andrea and Kathy. Both of which are kick ass girls. But I'll digress more with Andrea later. But yes, the monotony of the Kingdom began to wear off. It was fun but it was losing its touch, plus Andrea had moved to Nova Scotia by this point to live with Lucas, which I was really happy to see. She was moving along in life which was awesome. But yes, back to me! I'm so selfish.... My birthday was coming....hooray! 20! ................
SO!
MY BIRTHDAY!
WAS A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT!
But there is no one to really blame. Well other than father. I had to work on my birthday but I wasn't too bothered by that. The plan was....
THURSDAY! my birthday, I would go to Hamilton, check out Curtis's drawing of my angel wings and then make the appointment to finish them.
FRIDAY! Go to the Kingdom AND 107!!! LIVIN' LARGE IF I SAY SO MYSELF!
SATURDAY! Have dinner with a few friends, nothing special...
SUNDAY! Rest after a kick ass weekend.
What actually happened....
THURSDAY! MY BIRTHDAY!!!! Went to Hamilton, got lost in the shit hole. Had my father yell at me because he got lost and was FAR too stubborn to ask for directions. Finally found Sink 'n' Ink and they were closed... I hid from father who had parked at this point, called my mother and cried about everything. We had a good heart to heart. God I love mother. But either way, we decided we'd go on friday during the day. Came home and cried....
FRIDAY! We went, Curtis couldn't do the wings until Sunday but that was ok. Made the appointment. We went to Kingdom later on, Paul, Mikelle, Hammy and myself ohhh and Erin.... But yes.. Kingdom was closed down. We went to 107 and they wouldn't let Paul in. So Erin and I had two drinks and left. Went home rather dissapointed might I add.
SATURDAY! Had dinner but nothing too special.
SUNDAY! Got my wings. The only real thing that actually worked out.
So that was my birthday and it was shitty and I hated it and I hate birthdays.
Moving along.
Lets jump ahead to Tovah.
Tovah was a girl I had met through Vicki and we began talking. Things went pretty well actually. We started dating it was probably the most expensive relationship I've ever had. Not due to her but due to where she lived. Bolton! WHERE THE FUCK IS BOLTON! Better yet, WHAT THE FUCK IS BOLTON! A shitty small piece of crap in Ontario. No public transportation, so I'd take a bus to Brampton, take a cab that cost roughly 40 bucks and then finally got there after about two hours of journey. This was a once a week deal to boot. But as you could imagine Tovah and I didn't quite work out.I wasn't really ready for a relationship or at least not a serious one, which is what she wanted at the time and that stemmed into a large amount of arguments and basically we broke up. End of that really. We still talk. Actually we've been talking the past few days. Its nice. She's taking me to Bright Eyes, how sweet no? And people say I'm such an ass. Either they are wrong or I am ONE LUCKY ASS! Ah well, either way. Its going to be awesome.
Lets jump forward to the summer.
The summer was an interesting one to say. By this point, Willson and I were finally good friends again. Actually the best we've ever been. Its awesome, I love the silly bastard. Even though I'm sure some will say that I "STOLE" him from another group, but if you ask me, a group that is hell bent on intoxication and destruction, well YOUR DAMN WELL GOING TO DESTROY FRIENDSHIPS TOO DON'T YA THINK?!?!?! But either way. Willson and I were good friends. Rob and I became friends, which was nice too. Andrea had moved back due to relationship issues. Yeah, that is another story on its own and it isn't mine to tell but man, that girl... poor poor Andrea. We are two peas in a pod and if I'm an ass than she is an ass, which I don't think she is so I guess by association I must be good! AT LAST AN ARGUMENT I CAN USE! But poor girl has the worst luck. One day, I'll make a machine that can clone or just flat out make people and I'll make her a 16 year old skater boy with sleeves and as tall as the sky can reach and will ALWAYS! ALWAYS!!!! carry a skateboard around. But I'll make a summary of people by the end, so I'll move on.
My job was going well actually. Susy was fucking awesome! She trusted me, she listened to me, she made me smile. It was great. First time at work that I actually enjoyed being there since I became CSC. The sweetheart even got me something for my birthday!!! Gotta love her. We all did there. I wish her the best. :)
My cousin came down durin the summer, Sarah. She is awesome. She brings the mosh. Honestly, that girl gave new meaning to my life. For once I finally felt this love that I've missed for so long. It wasn't one of those lovey dovey crap either. It was true unconditional love. She had no choice! I WAS FAMILY! BLOOD FAMILY! She's stuck with me... sucker... Ah well, she came down, we had an awesome time. We took her all around town and let me tell you! She is a sport! Gladly came with us all around town without an utter complaint. I felt this connection with her. She is so much like me, poor girl. But ah well. I met her, we got along swell, that's right I SAID SWELL! I decided I'd visit her in Kingston for a week and had an even better time! TIME OF MY LIFE! God, for the first time I loved my family! it was weird, exciting and rivating all at once! NON STOP ROLLERCOASTER OF NOTHING! We didn't do anything TOO special but man, that ferry. We'll always have the ferry dear. Silly Wolfe Island, when will you ever learn? Moving along to Krysten...
Krysten was a nice girl. She's an odd child but she really did care. She wanted to save me, which kind of destroyed everything but none the less. This was the first time in a long time that a real strain was put on my friendship with Willson and I didn't want that so I treaded my waters very carefully. I made it quite clear that I would not do anything that would hurt Willson but he gave me the go ahead, what a trooper that Willson. But as you could guess, nothing really came of that.
I was still crazy by this point. Well, I still am and I always will be but what can you really do right? The summer got to me really badly, I must say. Since memories of the summer before and all those selfish, selfish bastards.... but lets not get sidetracked. The summer was hard, I was in the hospital a lot. I drank a lot. Once I spent over 60 bucks at a bar in under an hour and man was I ever fucked. I EVEN WENT TO WORK THE NEXT MORNING! But yes, drinking got a bit out of hand, so I put that one back under control. So no need for an intervention people. But overly it was a good summer, one of which will not be soon forgotten.
SO...
Where are we now?
SOUZAN!
Souzan is crazy and that's why I love her. She landed herself into a bit of trouble, so we really bonded. It was one of those lessons that further you in life. But either way, I won't go into grave detail. Its another one of those "not my stories to tell". But either way, we started going out. October 5th to be exact and we've been going out since. I wish there was more to say about this but honestly, there isn't. We argue, we make up. Its a good relationship and I am happy. I love the girl to death and she is very caring and sincere. So since its an on going story, can't say much right?
Ummm
Where are we now?
Am I getting tired?
I have been at this for about an hour.
My writing is really odd. If you are keeping up, congrats!
IF YOU'VE READ THE ENTIRE THING, I WILL BUY YOU A COOKIE! Seriously, I really will. Just call me. I'll get it for you. Just tell me what you like.
I had probably the best christmas ever this year. The family was really close. It was really odd but beautiful all at once. For the first christmas, the MacDonald's here were a FAMILY! BELIEVE THAT!!! AN ACTUAL FAMILY! Not that it is still that way now but still, you get my point.
Oh! Update on work. I hate my job again. Susy left. Got transfered. We got this fat bitch Crystle. She's annoying and I can't stand her. Aneta is an arrogant bitch but she is nice sometimes, so I won't complain THAT much about her but oh man, Crystle. GOD!
Back the holidays.
New Years was here. I got kind of drunk, passed out, woke up and had to help my dogs. You see Eleanor Rigby and Father Mackenzie don't quite get along as well as the song would suggest. So I had fun with that but it was nice. Not too big, not too small. Awesome!
SO!
RECAP ON PEOPLE OF GREAT IMPORTANCE OF THIS YEAR!
Well, I'm just going to detail those that I didn't mention much about.
Willson and I are jolly good friends or as Andrea puts it, Operation Alex-Willson. Its awesome. We do learn a lot off one another and its a pretty good relationship now. If I get pissed, which I tend to do a lot.. You can't be a princess and always be happy! and jeez, you really think that I would be perfect by now? I'm still crazy you know.. but either way, if either of us need anything, come hell or high water we'll do it for one another.
Andrea and I are on the best point so far, or at least I'd like to believe so. We truly are two peas in a pod and by golly! I pity that pod! She's the most understanding person I know. I'd go into all the sappy crap but I'll cry, if she reads this, she'll cry and yeah.... we already had our heart to heart in her basement AND chapters.. oh silly chapters.
Rob is still kicking it. There isn't much to say for Rob. He's ROB! That is how to describe him.
There are plenty of others that have come and gone, just because you didn't get a mention in this, don't think that I don't care! I care very deeply. I remember you all, the pain, the tears that I have caused you or that you have caused me. You're still in my heart.
My tattoo's are now up to 5. I have my wings, all done. I have my spider, all done. I have Lock Shock and Barrel tattoo'd on my leg too now!
Mentally, I'm still swinging around. I'm building up for my birthday, I did do alright for the holidays, I'd be lying if I was happy the whole time, but who is ever truly happy? AND FUCK JUSTIFYING MYSELF TO YOU BASTARDS! *shakes fist... but only out of love*
And I think that is pretty much well that. Lets see how this year goes... and remember I honestly do love you all. And I hope that one day people of the past will realize that there is life beyond their little box they've created. The world is more complex than suicide is only for attention and that drugs can cure all. Good luck!