(no subject)
I just broke something very important to me and burned my foot in the process.
I broke the handmade mug that my mom bought at a market or a craft fair or something in Boston and that she gave to me just this year. I swear to God I have not cried this much over anything for at least a year.
It's really not as stupid as it sounds, I promise. I mean, it is, but it also isn't. I always use that mug--especially when shit goes down and I need tea to fix it. In fact, I think part of the problem this is affecting me so much is that it means there is a problem that tea doesn't solve.
Again with the stupid.
Anyway, it's just that lately, everything around me has fallen into chaos. I don't mean that in an emo kind of way. I mean that in a all my stuff breaks or gets lost or gets stolen or is overcome by entropy kind of way. Also in a I suck at interpersonal relationships kind of way, and in a I am going to fail high school and go to community college and become a construction worker kind of way. Only not a construction worker because the buildings would fall apart, because that's what happens to the things around me.
I think I just repress shit too much. People think I have no control over my emotions, but if I had no control over my emotions, people would have died and I would have drowned in my own tears. I'm just not good at the whole functioning thing. Maybe I need to take a break from that.
...aaaand now I sound suicidal. I meant that more in terms of "I went into the woods because..." Thoreau-esque hermitude, btw. See, I even fail at communication. Which sucks because I write and act, and write a fuckload of essays for The Only Class I Care About.
So, basically... fuck.
That is all.
I broke the handmade mug that my mom bought at a market or a craft fair or something in Boston and that she gave to me just this year. I swear to God I have not cried this much over anything for at least a year.
It's really not as stupid as it sounds, I promise. I mean, it is, but it also isn't. I always use that mug--especially when shit goes down and I need tea to fix it. In fact, I think part of the problem this is affecting me so much is that it means there is a problem that tea doesn't solve.
Again with the stupid.
Anyway, it's just that lately, everything around me has fallen into chaos. I don't mean that in an emo kind of way. I mean that in a all my stuff breaks or gets lost or gets stolen or is overcome by entropy kind of way. Also in a I suck at interpersonal relationships kind of way, and in a I am going to fail high school and go to community college and become a construction worker kind of way. Only not a construction worker because the buildings would fall apart, because that's what happens to the things around me.
I think I just repress shit too much. People think I have no control over my emotions, but if I had no control over my emotions, people would have died and I would have drowned in my own tears. I'm just not good at the whole functioning thing. Maybe I need to take a break from that.
...aaaand now I sound suicidal. I meant that more in terms of "I went into the woods because..." Thoreau-esque hermitude, btw. See, I even fail at communication. Which sucks because I write and act, and write a fuckload of essays for The Only Class I Care About.
So, basically... fuck.
That is all.