Feb 18, 2019 19:23
I rehearsed the scene a thousand times in my head (okay maybe just 20) and each time I ended up in tears.
But with you, somehow, reality always exceeds expectations.
As I shared the exasperated thoughts running through my mind that night (“Tell me you reach home for what!? 我想吃什么关你屁事! How dare this person still send me nonsense emojis and act cute!?”), you suddenly let out a laugh. Which also made me laugh. And the tears, they were history.
I thought Dec was a one-off of me not valuing myself. I thought that because my primary concern was making sure things weren’t awkward for you, I managed to put aside my feelings and somehow laugh it off with you, even when I should be feeling as though I was dying the death of a thousand cuts.
But now I think I’m starting to realize that it wasn’t the case. That actually, that’s just the way things are between us. That I can be myself around you and speak my mind without fear. That even in the darkest of nights, you wouldn’t make light of my feelings and yet we can always find laughter.
And how precious it is, for me to have someone like you.