Kids do say the darndest things...
....And by "darndest," I mean "disturbing."
We had two elementary school tours today at the museum. I had been talking to the event's organizer a month or so ago, and said "Oh, what a great idea! Of coooouuurrssse we'd be happy to help!" and then promptly forgot all about it. Way to be a pro. Late last night, I got a phone call from the organizer, and she was chirping about "how excited she was about tomorrow." Eeek!! I hadn't been at the museum for the past couple of days, because I'm recovering from Tuesday's skin cancer surgery on my scalp (ain't no big thang...I just have to embrace Donald Trump/Michael Jackson's kids as my new style muses for the next little while), so I didn't even get the many messages she left on the answering machine. Despite bearing an uncanny resemblance in looks, movement and speech to the victim in the second-to-last scene in "Hannibal," I decided that I would have to be game for waxing on about the hardships of the Loyalist refugees to a billion groups of fidgety twelve-year olds, and wore a baseball cap to avoid traumatizing the kiddies.
ANYWAY. Those kids were tiring, but I nearly split my stiches trying not to laugh at their antics (and failing):
- One kid calmly claimed that his father was the Saviour of Ireland.
- One group, after hearing about tarring and feathering, discussed the best ways to die for about 20 minutes. Then the bell rang.
- One boy dominated his tour with talk about how his uncle skinned a muskrat in the kitchen. Every friggin' topic was somehow connected to the friggin' muskrat.
- One girl made persistent death threats to another girl. At first, it was very clearly a joke, and one that they were both in on, but as the tour went on, the line between "jokes" and "violence" became decidedly blurred. Especially when the first girl started chasing the second girl around with a still-very-sharp farm implement.
- One girl was so frightened by the mannequin in the corner, that she screamed and then burst into tears. Now this, I can relate to. It's going on nine summers but that mannequin scares the living daylights out of me!
- They all seemed to know my little brother.
As entertaining as this all was, the still uncontested comment-of-my-friggin'-entire-life goes to the kid who announced in the children's program a few years ago, "WELL, my dad invented horse heaven!!"
We had two elementary school tours today at the museum. I had been talking to the event's organizer a month or so ago, and said "Oh, what a great idea! Of coooouuurrssse we'd be happy to help!" and then promptly forgot all about it. Way to be a pro. Late last night, I got a phone call from the organizer, and she was chirping about "how excited she was about tomorrow." Eeek!! I hadn't been at the museum for the past couple of days, because I'm recovering from Tuesday's skin cancer surgery on my scalp (ain't no big thang...I just have to embrace Donald Trump/Michael Jackson's kids as my new style muses for the next little while), so I didn't even get the many messages she left on the answering machine. Despite bearing an uncanny resemblance in looks, movement and speech to the victim in the second-to-last scene in "Hannibal," I decided that I would have to be game for waxing on about the hardships of the Loyalist refugees to a billion groups of fidgety twelve-year olds, and wore a baseball cap to avoid traumatizing the kiddies.
ANYWAY. Those kids were tiring, but I nearly split my stiches trying not to laugh at their antics (and failing):
- One kid calmly claimed that his father was the Saviour of Ireland.
- One group, after hearing about tarring and feathering, discussed the best ways to die for about 20 minutes. Then the bell rang.
- One boy dominated his tour with talk about how his uncle skinned a muskrat in the kitchen. Every friggin' topic was somehow connected to the friggin' muskrat.
- One girl made persistent death threats to another girl. At first, it was very clearly a joke, and one that they were both in on, but as the tour went on, the line between "jokes" and "violence" became decidedly blurred. Especially when the first girl started chasing the second girl around with a still-very-sharp farm implement.
- One girl was so frightened by the mannequin in the corner, that she screamed and then burst into tears. Now this, I can relate to. It's going on nine summers but that mannequin scares the living daylights out of me!
- They all seemed to know my little brother.
As entertaining as this all was, the still uncontested comment-of-my-friggin'-entire-life goes to the kid who announced in the children's program a few years ago, "WELL, my dad invented horse heaven!!"