At this point...
I've drawn a blank.
I suddenly have regained contact with a certain person (and significant other) from my past and I'll admit to it making me feel rather awkward (it would less-so if she were not to be in another relationship.) for some reason, the significance of our partial reunification is yet to be determined, but for some reason, it seems like it has some sort of power to it (I know that that sounds flaky, but it makes sense to me).
I had also lapsed back into some old habits of mine and picked up a new one. Through doing so, I fucked up the best and most tight-knit friendship I ever had, along with breaking up my band.
I'm back in recovery and going to meetings on a daily basis. I figure that the best thing I can do for myself is adhere as strictly to the program as I can.
My parents have also been informed of such. I'm surprised that I'm still welcome in their house.
That's pretty much a summary of life right now. I'm extremely baffled as to how I went back into what I did without the slightest doubt about things until AFTER I had hit my bottom. I guess the only way I can explain this is unfortunately not very satisfying to me: I'm simply sick.
I guess the best thing I can do now is attempt to stop feeling sorry for myself and dig myself out of this gargantuan hole.
For some reason the previously mentioned former significant other keeps jumping into my thought processes (not necessarily in an interruptive way.....I just can't stop thinking about her.)
I'm just fucking mentally scrambled.
I feel like I need something, but I know I don't need anything.
I really have been trying to hide from my problems.
I suddenly have regained contact with a certain person (and significant other) from my past and I'll admit to it making me feel rather awkward (it would less-so if she were not to be in another relationship.) for some reason, the significance of our partial reunification is yet to be determined, but for some reason, it seems like it has some sort of power to it (I know that that sounds flaky, but it makes sense to me).
I had also lapsed back into some old habits of mine and picked up a new one. Through doing so, I fucked up the best and most tight-knit friendship I ever had, along with breaking up my band.
I'm back in recovery and going to meetings on a daily basis. I figure that the best thing I can do for myself is adhere as strictly to the program as I can.
My parents have also been informed of such. I'm surprised that I'm still welcome in their house.
That's pretty much a summary of life right now. I'm extremely baffled as to how I went back into what I did without the slightest doubt about things until AFTER I had hit my bottom. I guess the only way I can explain this is unfortunately not very satisfying to me: I'm simply sick.
I guess the best thing I can do now is attempt to stop feeling sorry for myself and dig myself out of this gargantuan hole.
For some reason the previously mentioned former significant other keeps jumping into my thought processes (not necessarily in an interruptive way.....I just can't stop thinking about her.)
I'm just fucking mentally scrambled.
I feel like I need something, but I know I don't need anything.
I really have been trying to hide from my problems.