Sickbay -- Day 10, evening [backdated & private/finished]

[my_god_man]

It was on the late side for the CMO to be working away in Sickbay. Even better, it was supposed to be Leonard's day off. But leave it to an underling -- Anderson, specifically, again -- to royally fuck up something as simple as a growth culture. Except this culture -- synthflesh for grafting purposes -- was anything but simple. And his

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[my_god_man]

Scott got another snort, but also a grudging little grin. McCoy made the injection as quick and easy as possible. Followed the progress with the tricorder for a moment, found himself reasonably pleased. Like he said, the tissues began to tingle, feel a little warm, but there was no pain. More data was entered on the PADD while he thought over a few things.

"Well, I don't have to tell ya, Chief, how unsafe working on a starship can be. I'm not comfortable waiting for something to happen, and trying to figure what to do then. God forbid it ever happen, but someday you might need to be put under. I'd like to try some clinical tests to see if we can find something that'll work. Now, don't get yer fancy little boxers in a twist." He cast an amused glance down, then back up to his face. "I'm not gonna do anything painful or gory to ya. These will be controlled sensory tests, designed with your comfort in mind. And only so we won't be up a shit creek later. For now though, it's gettin' late and we still have to finish this physical. What'dya think?"

[transwarp_beam]

"Sure," Scotty replied with another carefully one-shouldered shrug. He chose not to dignify the comment about his boxers with a response: that had been one of his university coursemates' idea of a a joke, after that ill-conceived roadtrip to Inverness they'd all agreed they were never going to speak of again. "Sure, if you think it'll help. Better to take the time now that have to wing it later, right?"

[my_god_man]

"Exactly. Good. I'll let ya know when I have the lab time for it." And Anderson wouldn't be around to fuck things up again. "So let's get on with this. First, how's the shoulder so far?" He looked over the medfile, this time less to confer and more to verify information. "It says in here that you're also allergic to asinolyathin and metorapan. Are these actual allergies, or more of the non-reaction sorta thing?" Thankfully, the muscle relaxant he'd used wasn't asinolyathin. And he tended to favor bicaridine over metorapan as an analgesic because the latter was more common for allergies.

[transwarp_beam]

"'S a lot better," Scotty replied, giving an experimental shrug. He took the lack of screaming agony as a promising sign. "I missed being able to do that. The asinolyathin was another non-reaction. The metorapan caused..." How had the doctor put it? "...localised swelling and loss of fine motor control."

[my_god_man]

Well, it'd be ungentlemanly to be outright smug about a thing, so Leonard settled for smirking more at Scott's admission. Sometimes patients squawked the loudest before the best healing. He edited the medfile further about the drugs, raising his brows at the tolerance-like quality of his reaction to asinolyathin. Damn good thing he'd used something else. But now he had another mystery on his hands. Why tolerance to a muscle relaxant, and preference for another? The chemical properties were different enough that the answer could lie in that. He'd have to look into that more after tomorrow's assignment. It would certainly be more interesting than studying some sex pollen. He was a doctor, not a damn male escort.

"Alright, I think that covers the old stuff in your file. I still need to scan your spine for MS indicators. And while yer back there, just go ahead and drop the nessies." McCoy was already reaching for a pair of surgical gloves when the words sunk in with the engineer.

[transwarp_beam]

"I'll thank you not to malign my underwear," Scotty said with an entirely feigned air of dignity.

He didn't know why he was being asked to get naked. He wasn't sure - especially given the slightly ominous presence of the rubber gloves - that he wanted to know why he was being asked to get naked. But as many of his old drinking buddies from university would attest, he had never been shy about stripping off when the occasion called for it. And apparently the occasion called for it. With a shrug - damn it felt good to be able to do that again! - he wriggled out of his boxers and hopped back up onto the biobed, entirely unselfconscious.

[my_god_man]

Leonard actually chuckled this time at Scott's joke as he slipped on the gloves. He was finding it easy to fall back into ease with the man, as charming as he was. Picking up the tricorder again, he turned back around with some sass on his tongue.

And then on the floor, with his damn jaw. And the tricorder.

Holy shit, he hadn't thought things had gotten that easy!

He... just stood there, blinking like a damn confused traffic light. Certainly had the brains of one for a minute there. Not that expecting to see the man's backside would have been all that different. But... well, hell, he'd been expecting some ass!

Bad wording. Bad, bad wording.

The tricorder seemed tired of his preoccupation and beeped rather loudly to remind him they had work to do. Legitimate scanning to do. Leonard finally came to his senses and picked up his equ... tricorder. It was a perfectly natural, biological function to have a face full of heat, yes it was. He'd been bending over, you see. He cleared his throat -- also an effect of gravity -- and said all seriously, "... Thanks."

Ah hell, he gave up.

He stumbled over a half-snort, half-chuckle, half-something that'd kinda hurt in uttering. "Well... ain't you just an accommodating fellow. Uh, yer meant to present in the other direction." Leonard didn't even try to hinder a big ol' amused grin.

[transwarp_beam]

It took every ounce of self control he had not to crack up at the expression on McCoy's face: as it was, he suspected he wasn't doing a very good job of hiding his internal hysterics. His grin felt like it might split his face.

"You could just've said," Scotty said mildly, swinging his legs over the biobed and grinning at the doctor over his shoulder.

[my_god_man]

He had himself another of those painful, nasal-distressing noises of amusement over Scott's glibness. Then just plain ol' cut loose with a loud, belly-deep bark of a laugh at the man's.... heh, cheeky grin over the cheeks. Oh, sass like that deserved a spanking.

... He didn't just have that Very Unprofessional thought.

"Goddamn, man," Leonard muttered with a simultaneous eye roll and head-shake, he was that amusingly exasperated. The place got hotter and smaller as he came up... eh, behind, Scott. Rolled his eyes again as that impossible grin got impossibly wider and those mismatched eyes twinkled like binary stars. "Yanno, I think there's actually a law against havin' this much fun durin' a physical. Quit it. It ain't natural." He fiddled with the tricorder a little clumsily, think he may have given Scott some sort of wrong-headed idea as the hand scanner kinda slipped. Put his hand on the man's good shoulder and definitely gave one of them something wrong-headed. Leaned in with a chuckle and...

Began doing a detailed scan of his spinal column. He was a doctor, after all.

[transwarp_beam]

He was actually shaking with supressed laughter. Surely that would interfere with the scan? He tried to get a grip of himself...oh, and that so wasn't the best way to phrase it. He tried to control himself - that was better - but with limited success.

...whoa, where was that tricorder going? "Come on, doc. A classy fella like yourself should at least buy me a drink first."

[my_god_man]

"Goddamnit, man, one of us has got to hold still for this!" Because Leonard was chuckling nearly as badly. In fact, he couldn't see the readings as well because his eyes were watering from trying to keep it in.

The laughter. He was trying to keep the laughter from coming... out.

Jesus, when had he suddenly turned 13 again?

He cleared his throat, he took a deep breath. He held onto the scanner firmly and carefully guided it down Scott's back. Told himself he was ignoring the air-handling problem nicely as he neared the coccyx.

Tried not to snort at the memories of his drunk med student buddies back at Ole Miss making jokes at how dirty that word sounded and tail-boning jokes. Damn, he had no excuse now.

"Alright, alright, done with the scan. If I'd know you were so interested, I'd've pulled out the probe first." Leonard chortled to himself as he put the scanner back in the tricorder. Glanced up to find a peculiar look on Scott's face. Snorted hard and rolled his eyes -- he was doing that a lot, he noticed -- again. "No, that ain't a euphemism." Like he'd ever do something so raunchy on his own biobeds. He'd never even contemplated it before.

.... Goddamnit!

[transwarp_beam]

Scotty just grinned, unrepentant. Christ, they were really hitting a 12 on the innuendo scale today. In fact it had just about crossed the line from innuendo into undisguised dirty talk. He genuinely wasn't sure any more whether he was teasing, flirting, or outright propositioning.

"In that case, doc, would you like me to put my pants back on?"

[my_god_man]

"Why, you think that'll make it any more comfortable? Yer a mechanical fellow, how well do you think it'd fit in that way." Leonard stepped away, his damn giggles finally calming down to a lazy, half-sliding off smirk. Some men dreaded this exam and tended to exaggerate things. Him? Well, he was a doctor. He knew it went easier the less fuss you made of it.

Besides, he wasn't so much a throwback that he equated his manhood with something so trivial as who put what where.

Setting the medical tricorder down, he replaced it with the insertion probe. Put on a new disposable hood, then pulled some surgical lube from a lab drawer. Worked off the cap on the tube as he looked back over to Scott. "Assume the position, please."

[transwarp_beam]

"Aye, but will you respect me in the morning?" Scotty asked in mock-seriousness. He leaned forward and rested his elbows comfortably on the edge of the biobed, legs spread. He continued to grumble under his breath about not having even been bought dinner first.

[my_god_man]

"You keep waggin' yer chin all night an' you'll be worryin' 'bout how I feel in the evenin'." Oh, there was that sass he'd dropped earlier. He smirked as the man relented and got in what was a familiar position by their age. If any of his instructors -- Starfleet or Ole Miss -- had witnessed things tonight, they'd been damn-right hesitant to grant Leonard any honorifics. It was something that should rightfully bother him. He'd been professionally warm back in the days of the practice. He'd refused to be some damn chair-climbing, stuck up toy soldier in Starfleet Medical. But McCoy had always been mindful of the doctor-patient relationship. And he'd started off professional enough tonight. But somewhere between that first cough from Scott, and watching the man's ass flex as he got comfortable, something weird and disarming had happened.

And no small part of it was the fact that he was studying gluteal flinching. Damnit, had the man gone through some sort of weed cloud on his way over?

Right, back to.... eh, probing. If the temperature rose any higher, the synthflesh redux would need to be re-done. Anyway, he quickly spread a goodly portion of lube on the device and kicked a lab chair over to his patient. Sat down so he could see what he was doing. Felt obliged to lightly touch a cheek in warning before gently grasping to spread it. Cleared his throat to muttering, "Your files says you've been sexually active. Is that still true since your last physical? Anything... come up... since then?" Concentrated on his patient's answer while his finger examined and rubbed a little residual lubricant. Lightly tapped the probe against the muscle in warning, then took it slow and easily. Kept his eyes on the function lights.

[transwarp_beam]

"Still clean, if that's what you mean," Scotty replied, tone disconcertingly casual coming from a man in his position, "Nothing at all in the last six months or so." Fuck you very much, Admiral Archer. No more jokes or innuendo - given the current situation, he really didn't want to interfere with McCoy's concertration.