nine ¬ video
[ The video opens to a familiar blonde-haired teenager staring very intently at the feed. It should be noted that he is swaying from side to side as if he is about to topple over and his eyes are quite bloodshot, which tend to suggest that he has consumed a fair amount of alcohol recently.
... In this case, that suggestion would be absolutely correct. ]
Hello, City! Well... not that I am talking to the actual City, because that would just be very silly. [ A beat. ] And that kind of rhymed! Which is just as well, because... because guess what? I have a poem.
See, everybody else seems to be telling bad jokes and so I thought-well, I thought that since I tell bad jokes a lot, I should try something else. And do you know what I have never tried? Poetry. Here, let me prepare my poetry-reading voice.
[ He clears his throat, almost falls over backwards, rights himself and then looks at the scrap of paper in his hands. ]
"Once upon a weekend anything but dreary, while I pondered, not very weak or weary,
Over no quaint or curious volumes of forgotten lore, because that is Alan's thing,
While I woke up, not quite napping, there were probably lots of Network posts of warning,
But that doesn't really matter because I was already cursed anyway, and everything was horrible."
[ After reading all that in a very ominous tone of voice, he hiccups. ] I think I will have to work on the last line, it doesn't seem to fit very well. But it was quite hard to relate a curse to someone knocking on a chamber door, maybe I should have mentioned-
[ It's at this point that he actually does topple over backwards off the bench he's sitting on, and as he's outside the video now, all citizens will hear is a dull thud as he hits the ground. And then, about thirty seconds later: ] Ow.
... In this case, that suggestion would be absolutely correct. ]
Hello, City! Well... not that I am talking to the actual City, because that would just be very silly. [ A beat. ] And that kind of rhymed! Which is just as well, because... because guess what? I have a poem.
See, everybody else seems to be telling bad jokes and so I thought-well, I thought that since I tell bad jokes a lot, I should try something else. And do you know what I have never tried? Poetry. Here, let me prepare my poetry-reading voice.
[ He clears his throat, almost falls over backwards, rights himself and then looks at the scrap of paper in his hands. ]
"Once upon a weekend anything but dreary, while I pondered, not very weak or weary,
Over no quaint or curious volumes of forgotten lore, because that is Alan's thing,
While I woke up, not quite napping, there were probably lots of Network posts of warning,
But that doesn't really matter because I was already cursed anyway, and everything was horrible."
[ After reading all that in a very ominous tone of voice, he hiccups. ] I think I will have to work on the last line, it doesn't seem to fit very well. But it was quite hard to relate a curse to someone knocking on a chamber door, maybe I should have mentioned-
[ It's at this point that he actually does topple over backwards off the bench he's sitting on, and as he's outside the video now, all citizens will hear is a dull thud as he hits the ground. And then, about thirty seconds later: ] Ow.