sooo yeah

[ensusojos]

So i went to summer camp for like a day and a half. It was a last minute thing and I now fully regret ever waisting my time on going to a church camp. Now, more than ever, I know that church just isnt in my cards these days. I felt bored and frustrated the whole time. I kept thinking "how ridiculous is this? sitting here worshiping this one guy who we don't even know exists for sure.. this is pathetic... why rely on something that couldn't really provide for you?" i dont know.. Maybe i'm the only one who thinks this way.. But i find it utterably disturbing that all they want you to do there is base your life around some thing.. not person, thing. I just don't get it anymore. Since i was a child i was forced into this religion and finally I am questioning my own beliefs.. it's about time. I got so sick of being there and not giving a damn, i figured why waiste more money staying here when i could be at home not caring about anything rather than sleeping in a hot tent not caring. I rather be in my own bed thank you.

But anyway- i start my internship sometime either this week or the next- and Katie comes home on monday- so things should be shaping up soon... Though i did have a few I miss moments the past few days.. I'm recovering quite well and I found myself missing the idea of having someone rather than him. Make sense?

I'm just done.