I skip to the beat of my own drums~
I've noticed something very peculiar and that is that I don't do as well in group settings anymore. It's strange to say the least but I don't feel like I have too much to contribute. I think it's based on the fact that I wait to say something meaningful and if I can't think of anything, I don't say anything at all. I do follow the conversations but I don't feel like I'm a part of it. Okay, maybe that sounds wrong. I promise I don't mean that in a bad way. Hmm...well it's like, I can't integrate in it. Not unless I'm really feeling up to it or the aformentioned reason. But I suppose people don't really notice? I don't know, I think I'm good at being elusive when I want to as well or at least be that one person who can be there and not be there.
Okay for the record, it doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the group setting but my silence might make people believe that. Categorize me as an observer who doesn't have much to say but does think about things. Lol, so many contradictions. I think each element that I possess, contradicts one another some way. Hahaha. Okay, I'm complicated.
Lol. I think I'm too serious at times but strangely I like that about myself. Or maybe it's my tendency to not be sucked in by the hype. Hahaha, it seems I'm back to my old ways. I know someone is probably going...oh yay~ But back to the topic, see there are so many answers to this puzzle. I firmly believe in things flowing naturally and not having to force them, which is rather hard at times. I won't lie about this.
I've also realized that I always keep moving forward. I can honestly say that I'm more content these days. Yes, there are questions that linger and words that aren't spoken but I suppose it doesn't matter. Whatever happens, happens.
It's honestly not detachment on my part but I suppose I was raised a way that is quite independent. I'm an only-child after all and while any other child would have craved a little sister or brother or maybe even made up an imaginary friend, I was busy drawing, reading, doing sports and all that stuff. Basically looking for way to entertain myself. And no, it wasn't a boring childhood. In fact I believe my childhood was one of the best, regardless of the scraped knees, doggy bites and cars almost running me over. XD
In the end though, I care about my friends and I cherish them but I won't cling to them or tie they down to me.
It might result with me losing some of them but it happens.
Paths cross but some paths eventually split up again.
Okay and something just came to mind. I think or I presume...okay I came to this conclusion through observations. Yes, I believe in deducing stuff through proof. I believe I meet many people and some become "friends" but only a few truly stay close because I probably don't try to be the always cool person. Eventually someone "cooler" comes along and they are caught by this new shiny.
I've seen this plenty of times, I'm currently seeing it when it comes to more than one person. It doesn't matter to be honest, not anymore. There are no expectations on my part. If someone leaves, they leave. I suppose it's all about how you see things and how you perceive them. I suppose some people just click as well in the end. The funny thing is that I don't think they even notice this themselves. BUT! There are times that they perceive things and try to be reassuring but you can see that they're trying so hard. Pls, don't do it. I notice it and it only makes me think that uh...why? I don't demand anything from you. But yes, I notice far too many things at times. XD
Anyway yeah, I think this is enough blabbling. I swear there's probably more that comes to mind but I will probably start to explain things into detail and I don't want to do that.
l suppose, it comes down to finally understanding a few things and being content with them.
Which is of course, fucking good~
It's as simple as that.
I do wonder if people are afraid to try harder with me at times. XD LMAO~ I'm just a girl and I don't claim or want to be anyone else but myself
Lol. I also seem to see things coming from afar. Like it's easy to predict stuff and I will bet that something that is currently in the back of my mind will happen. Cause duh I just have proof. LIKE JUST NOW! Gosh~ XD But really, people should try to be a little more subtle or not force themselves. Or maybe they expect some reaction from me. It's something really childish tbh. Okay this is where I really lol~ Try again, you silly, silly person. Shame on you for bringing something like that up and making people walk on eggshells. My reaction would have been very simple, whatever happens. If it means you get your yay factor, it's fine with me.
So I don't know? Try again~
Okay for the record, it doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the group setting but my silence might make people believe that. Categorize me as an observer who doesn't have much to say but does think about things. Lol, so many contradictions. I think each element that I possess, contradicts one another some way. Hahaha. Okay, I'm complicated.
Lol. I think I'm too serious at times but strangely I like that about myself. Or maybe it's my tendency to not be sucked in by the hype. Hahaha, it seems I'm back to my old ways. I know someone is probably going...oh yay~ But back to the topic, see there are so many answers to this puzzle. I firmly believe in things flowing naturally and not having to force them, which is rather hard at times. I won't lie about this.
I've also realized that I always keep moving forward. I can honestly say that I'm more content these days. Yes, there are questions that linger and words that aren't spoken but I suppose it doesn't matter. Whatever happens, happens.
It's honestly not detachment on my part but I suppose I was raised a way that is quite independent. I'm an only-child after all and while any other child would have craved a little sister or brother or maybe even made up an imaginary friend, I was busy drawing, reading, doing sports and all that stuff. Basically looking for way to entertain myself. And no, it wasn't a boring childhood. In fact I believe my childhood was one of the best, regardless of the scraped knees, doggy bites and cars almost running me over. XD
In the end though, I care about my friends and I cherish them but I won't cling to them or tie they down to me.
It might result with me losing some of them but it happens.
Paths cross but some paths eventually split up again.
Okay and something just came to mind. I think or I presume...okay I came to this conclusion through observations. Yes, I believe in deducing stuff through proof. I believe I meet many people and some become "friends" but only a few truly stay close because I probably don't try to be the always cool person. Eventually someone "cooler" comes along and they are caught by this new shiny.
I've seen this plenty of times, I'm currently seeing it when it comes to more than one person. It doesn't matter to be honest, not anymore. There are no expectations on my part. If someone leaves, they leave. I suppose it's all about how you see things and how you perceive them. I suppose some people just click as well in the end. The funny thing is that I don't think they even notice this themselves. BUT! There are times that they perceive things and try to be reassuring but you can see that they're trying so hard. Pls, don't do it. I notice it and it only makes me think that uh...why? I don't demand anything from you. But yes, I notice far too many things at times. XD
Anyway yeah, I think this is enough blabbling. I swear there's probably more that comes to mind but I will probably start to explain things into detail and I don't want to do that.
l suppose, it comes down to finally understanding a few things and being content with them.
Which is of course, fucking good~
It's as simple as that.
I do wonder if people are afraid to try harder with me at times. XD LMAO~ I'm just a girl and I don't claim or want to be anyone else but myself
Lol. I also seem to see things coming from afar. Like it's easy to predict stuff and I will bet that something that is currently in the back of my mind will happen. Cause duh I just have proof. LIKE JUST NOW! Gosh~ XD But really, people should try to be a little more subtle or not force themselves. Or maybe they expect some reaction from me. It's something really childish tbh. Okay this is where I really lol~ Try again, you silly, silly person. Shame on you for bringing something like that up and making people walk on eggshells. My reaction would have been very simple, whatever happens. If it means you get your yay factor, it's fine with me.
So I don't know? Try again~