Chaos, Drama, & Venting
I do apologize to my lj friends since I have not been an active user lately. Found out this past Monday that I am being moved to my new location next week. Last minute, nothing packed yet, clients not notified, yes, this is too short of notice but it needs to be done.
That has been just a minor irritation. My cousin and mother have gone head to head, my mother has so much shit to say about me and how I've been leading my life (she doesn't even know yet about the pregnancy), and my cousin is playing both sides apparently. So yesterday (supposedly) my cousin moved out, Diane is pissed about all this drama at the house, and I didn't even go home after work last night. I'm really regretting this pregnancy, I can't take my family anymore, and right now I'm not in a position to up and leave wether it's still in PA or out to the west coast. If I leave I have no job lined up, which equals no health insurance or time off for the baby, I would have to end it with John which is the only person rt now that has given me something to look forward to. John acts as though he understands. I know he means well but men are programmed at finding solutions to problems. I can figure out what I'm going to do on my own. John mentioned about me staying with him...yeah that would be great but it's not the right time for me to do that. It's not fair to him or his son. I just think that it would cause more problems in the long run but I said I was grateful for the offer.
But in a nut shell that's what has been going on. To be honest with myself...if I wasn't pregnant or with John I would have probably ended everything right about now b/c that's how hopeless life seems to be right now.
That has been just a minor irritation. My cousin and mother have gone head to head, my mother has so much shit to say about me and how I've been leading my life (she doesn't even know yet about the pregnancy), and my cousin is playing both sides apparently. So yesterday (supposedly) my cousin moved out, Diane is pissed about all this drama at the house, and I didn't even go home after work last night. I'm really regretting this pregnancy, I can't take my family anymore, and right now I'm not in a position to up and leave wether it's still in PA or out to the west coast. If I leave I have no job lined up, which equals no health insurance or time off for the baby, I would have to end it with John which is the only person rt now that has given me something to look forward to. John acts as though he understands. I know he means well but men are programmed at finding solutions to problems. I can figure out what I'm going to do on my own. John mentioned about me staying with him...yeah that would be great but it's not the right time for me to do that. It's not fair to him or his son. I just think that it would cause more problems in the long run but I said I was grateful for the offer.
But in a nut shell that's what has been going on. To be honest with myself...if I wasn't pregnant or with John I would have probably ended everything right about now b/c that's how hopeless life seems to be right now.