Jeff Foxworthy on Upstate New York
>If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches
>of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you
>might live in Upstate New York.
>
>If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year
>because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse gets
>more snow than any other major city in the US, you might live in Upstate New
>York.
>
>If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might
>live in Upstate New York
>
>If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you
>might live in Upstate New York.
>
>If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work
>there, you might live in Upstate New York.
>
>If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
>forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.
>
>If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in
>Upstate New York.
>
>If your town has more bars than churches, you might live in Upstate New York.
>
>If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
>wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.
>
>YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:
>
>1. "Vacation" means going South past Albany for the weekend.
>
>2. You measure distance in hours.
>
>3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
>
>4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
>
>5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
>without flinching.
>
>6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
>
>7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
>unlocked.
>
>8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend / wife knows how
>to use them.
>
>9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
>
>10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
>snow.
>
>11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road
>construction.
>
>12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
>
>13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
>blue spruce.
>
>14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
>
>15. Down South to you means Corning.
>
>16. A brat is something you eat.
>
>17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.
>
>18. You go out for a fish fry every Friday.
>
>19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
>
>20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
>
>21. You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."
>
>22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
>Upstate New York friends.
>
>
>Sad....but true!!!
>of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you
>might live in Upstate New York.
>
>If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year
>because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse gets
>more snow than any other major city in the US, you might live in Upstate New
>York.
>
>If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might
>live in Upstate New York
>
>If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you
>might live in Upstate New York.
>
>If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work
>there, you might live in Upstate New York.
>
>If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
>forehead, you might live in Upstate New York.
>
>If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in
>Upstate New York.
>
>If your town has more bars than churches, you might live in Upstate New York.
>
>If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
>wrong number, you might live in Upstate New York.
>
>YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:
>
>1. "Vacation" means going South past Albany for the weekend.
>
>2. You measure distance in hours.
>
>3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
>
>4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
>
>5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
>without flinching.
>
>6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
>
>7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
>unlocked.
>
>8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend / wife knows how
>to use them.
>
>9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
>
>10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
>snow.
>
>11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road
>construction.
>
>12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
>
>13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
>blue spruce.
>
>14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
>
>15. Down South to you means Corning.
>
>16. A brat is something you eat.
>
>17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.
>
>18. You go out for a fish fry every Friday.
>
>19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
>
>20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
>
>21. You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."
>
>22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
>Upstate New York friends.
>
>
>Sad....but true!!!