Does this mean I lose my geek cred?
So I went to Arisia and had a sad realization - I think I'm officially getting too cranky for the Con Experience. I always felt on the fringes of the whole idea of "fandom", but I think this just made me realized that I'm looking through the glass from the other side.
Going to a convention seems the sort of thing (as I did in the day) best experienced with a bunch of friends to hang with - going by yourself is a bit lonely. Even if you know you'll run into friends there, it's not quite the same.
I had fun running a game, even if I did make the mistake of letting two kids (and I do mean kids) into the game. I'm sure in more controlled experiences, they'd be fine players, but a lesson learned for me. From sheer coincidence the other two players were friends of one of the folks in my weekly group - who I'd met before, but none of us remembered it, until one of them said suddenly, "you kept acting really familiarly, I know... AHA!"
After a few years away, I return and I feel... jaded? disappointed? Ennui? I'm sure there were some interesting panels, but nothing really caught my eye. I didn't have any money, so frivolous impulse buying was out (this was deliberate on my part). My tolerance for overheated rooms and ringingly noisy halls is lower. I am less tolerant of the unwashed masses and the horribly unflatteringly dressed and the obnoxiously loud - and I felt guilty for being so judgemental. Not that I ever think I had hygiene issues, but I wasn't exactly a fashion plate in my youth, or now for that matter.
I ran into a vendor I knew from a chat board I frequent, someone who does wire jewelry and often shows up at Ren Faires and we talked for a bit. She admitted to having the same experience and mentioned a linguist who had studied fen communication patterns and noted that many of them shared certain similarities - not looking people in the eyes, nervous gestures, constant interruption and conversation grabbing, etc... she said she'd forward me a copy of it.
Every so often over the past few years, at Arisia or somewhere else, I'd see this one woman who I kept saying to myself, I know her, I know her from Hillel1 back when I was in college and I think had a cute frosh-crush on her, what is her name? Then today, after I spotted her yet again, I spotted her name in the listing for a panel, amusingly enough on Religions in Science Fiction. The sad thing? She looked so miserable that I couldn't bring myself to go over to her. I mean, what would I say? Hi, you probably don't remember me...
On the other hand, I saw someone who disliked me in college, and we decorously completely ignored each other even when talking to a mutual acquaintance. It was almost funny.
1 Jewish national campus organization
Going to a convention seems the sort of thing (as I did in the day) best experienced with a bunch of friends to hang with - going by yourself is a bit lonely. Even if you know you'll run into friends there, it's not quite the same.
I had fun running a game, even if I did make the mistake of letting two kids (and I do mean kids) into the game. I'm sure in more controlled experiences, they'd be fine players, but a lesson learned for me. From sheer coincidence the other two players were friends of one of the folks in my weekly group - who I'd met before, but none of us remembered it, until one of them said suddenly, "you kept acting really familiarly, I know... AHA!"
After a few years away, I return and I feel... jaded? disappointed? Ennui? I'm sure there were some interesting panels, but nothing really caught my eye. I didn't have any money, so frivolous impulse buying was out (this was deliberate on my part). My tolerance for overheated rooms and ringingly noisy halls is lower. I am less tolerant of the unwashed masses and the horribly unflatteringly dressed and the obnoxiously loud - and I felt guilty for being so judgemental. Not that I ever think I had hygiene issues, but I wasn't exactly a fashion plate in my youth, or now for that matter.
I ran into a vendor I knew from a chat board I frequent, someone who does wire jewelry and often shows up at Ren Faires and we talked for a bit. She admitted to having the same experience and mentioned a linguist who had studied fen communication patterns and noted that many of them shared certain similarities - not looking people in the eyes, nervous gestures, constant interruption and conversation grabbing, etc... she said she'd forward me a copy of it.
Every so often over the past few years, at Arisia or somewhere else, I'd see this one woman who I kept saying to myself, I know her, I know her from Hillel1 back when I was in college and I think had a cute frosh-crush on her, what is her name? Then today, after I spotted her yet again, I spotted her name in the listing for a panel, amusingly enough on Religions in Science Fiction. The sad thing? She looked so miserable that I couldn't bring myself to go over to her. I mean, what would I say? Hi, you probably don't remember me...
On the other hand, I saw someone who disliked me in college, and we decorously completely ignored each other even when talking to a mutual acquaintance. It was almost funny.
1 Jewish national campus organization