Mission Insane Meta/Mind Bend Prompt 02: Character(s) writing fanfiction
Title: Killing Time in Halls of Mandos
Author :enochia
'Verse: Middle-earth-verse
Claim/Characters/Pairing: general series
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sex, incest (for parody purposes, but still triggery)
Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings and Silmarillion belong to Tolkien Estate. For purposes of other fanfiction, characters and plots not recognized to be canon belong to me.
Summary: Character discovers internet. Character discovers fanfiction. Character has fun.
Table/Prompt: Meta/Mind Bend: Prompt 02: Character(s) writing fanfiction
Legolas wailed like a wraith of Barrow-downs as his father’s royal sceptre pierced the delicate red flower between his cheeks. The exquisite mixture of pain and pleasure sent him into ecstasy, white juice spewing in ropes from the fountain of manhood he clutched in his lily-white hand.
Click. Post.
“Oh, Lord Elrond,” cried Laindessiel Ortherion, “thou must advise me. I cannot decide between your sons!”
“That is a difficult choice indeed, lady Laindessiel. But I have a solution.”
“Oh, pray tell, my lord, what is it?”
“Choose me instead.”
“Oh! Such wisdom!” cried the most beautiful woman in Arda and threw herself at the Lord of Rivendell, her golden hair flapping behind her like a victory flag.
“Nay!” the cries were heard. For the twins have burst into the chamber.
“Lady Laindessiel, if you cannot choose...” started Elladan.
“...you can have both of us!” finished Elrohir.
“Oh, my!” cried the lady, for now she was faced with another dilemma. Fortunately, the wise lord eased her burden promptly:
“Three of us.”
Laindessiel Ortherion swooned.
Click. Post.
“Oh, Olorin, is it true what they say about Wizards and their staffs?” asked Galadriel.
“Why don’t you put your delicate hand under my robes and find out, most radiant lady?” replied the wily wizard.
Click. Post.
”There, there, my love,” cooed Morgoth at weeping Sauron. “One day, we shall get away from here, and I’ll present that wicked little Perian’s heart on the platter for you as the token of my undying love.
“Does that mean you shall finally wed me?”
“Yes, beloved. Long have I delayed that blitheful occasion, waiting for the day I might present you a whole kingdom as a gift; alas, ‘twas not to be. And though it might yet come to pass, I know now that one never knows when one’s plans , and one ought to enjoy every moment they can.
“Oh then, sweet Bauglir, will you not wed me here and now?”
“But I have no ring to plight my troth, and no witnesses.”
“Eru may be our witness, and I’ve had quite enough of rings.”
Morgoth chuckled. “So shall it be than, my sweet Gorthie.” And he fell upon his love with great passion, but tenderly.
Click. Post.
It did not happen quickly by any measure, but seven millennia was more than enough time to get there. Left to his own devices as he was, no one noted nor objected to him gathering odds and ends scattered around Namo’s Halls and putting them together. He crafted his own tools from scraps of metal and some pilfered kindling. The gallery of minerals strewn across the vast caves, a collection that was not seen to be seen anywhere else on Ea save in Aulë’s halls, provided more than enough material.
At first, the device was intended to contact Eru and ask about the Silmarils and Valar ownership laws. But as he sought to reach One, he found past the borders of Aman a bizarre network of information unrestrained, governed by no laws nor customs, legislative or moral. The insights he gained from it were vast.
And the targets were found all too easily. Tales of ‘heroes’ of Third Age that were whispered in the Halls seemed to live on in this strange conglomerate of knowledge too. Yet their depictions in many of those stories hardly matched the deeds told by those that lived now in Aman. There he saw his opportunity.
Curufinwë Fëanáro - known also as PrincessGoldie37, AinathRose, lotrslashluvr69 and LeggyGimli4eva - shall have his vengeance.
Author's note: Any similarity with actual fanfic is coincidental. Google tells me that usernames mentioned are not in use, but if they are or you used them before, contact me and I'll change/remove.
Master Table here!
Author :enochia
'Verse: Middle-earth-verse
Claim/Characters/Pairing: general series
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sex, incest (for parody purposes, but still triggery)
Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings and Silmarillion belong to Tolkien Estate. For purposes of other fanfiction, characters and plots not recognized to be canon belong to me.
Summary: Character discovers internet. Character discovers fanfiction. Character has fun.
Table/Prompt: Meta/Mind Bend: Prompt 02: Character(s) writing fanfiction
Legolas wailed like a wraith of Barrow-downs as his father’s royal sceptre pierced the delicate red flower between his cheeks. The exquisite mixture of pain and pleasure sent him into ecstasy, white juice spewing in ropes from the fountain of manhood he clutched in his lily-white hand.
Click. Post.
“Oh, Lord Elrond,” cried Laindessiel Ortherion, “thou must advise me. I cannot decide between your sons!”
“That is a difficult choice indeed, lady Laindessiel. But I have a solution.”
“Oh, pray tell, my lord, what is it?”
“Choose me instead.”
“Oh! Such wisdom!” cried the most beautiful woman in Arda and threw herself at the Lord of Rivendell, her golden hair flapping behind her like a victory flag.
“Nay!” the cries were heard. For the twins have burst into the chamber.
“Lady Laindessiel, if you cannot choose...” started Elladan.
“...you can have both of us!” finished Elrohir.
“Oh, my!” cried the lady, for now she was faced with another dilemma. Fortunately, the wise lord eased her burden promptly:
“Three of us.”
Laindessiel Ortherion swooned.
Click. Post.
“Oh, Olorin, is it true what they say about Wizards and their staffs?” asked Galadriel.
“Why don’t you put your delicate hand under my robes and find out, most radiant lady?” replied the wily wizard.
Click. Post.
”There, there, my love,” cooed Morgoth at weeping Sauron. “One day, we shall get away from here, and I’ll present that wicked little Perian’s heart on the platter for you as the token of my undying love.
“Does that mean you shall finally wed me?”
“Yes, beloved. Long have I delayed that blitheful occasion, waiting for the day I might present you a whole kingdom as a gift; alas, ‘twas not to be. And though it might yet come to pass, I know now that one never knows when one’s plans , and one ought to enjoy every moment they can.
“Oh then, sweet Bauglir, will you not wed me here and now?”
“But I have no ring to plight my troth, and no witnesses.”
“Eru may be our witness, and I’ve had quite enough of rings.”
Morgoth chuckled. “So shall it be than, my sweet Gorthie.” And he fell upon his love with great passion, but tenderly.
Click. Post.
It did not happen quickly by any measure, but seven millennia was more than enough time to get there. Left to his own devices as he was, no one noted nor objected to him gathering odds and ends scattered around Namo’s Halls and putting them together. He crafted his own tools from scraps of metal and some pilfered kindling. The gallery of minerals strewn across the vast caves, a collection that was not seen to be seen anywhere else on Ea save in Aulë’s halls, provided more than enough material.
At first, the device was intended to contact Eru and ask about the Silmarils and Valar ownership laws. But as he sought to reach One, he found past the borders of Aman a bizarre network of information unrestrained, governed by no laws nor customs, legislative or moral. The insights he gained from it were vast.
And the targets were found all too easily. Tales of ‘heroes’ of Third Age that were whispered in the Halls seemed to live on in this strange conglomerate of knowledge too. Yet their depictions in many of those stories hardly matched the deeds told by those that lived now in Aman. There he saw his opportunity.
Curufinwë Fëanáro - known also as PrincessGoldie37, AinathRose, lotrslashluvr69 and LeggyGimli4eva - shall have his vengeance.
Author's note: Any similarity with actual fanfic is coincidental. Google tells me that usernames mentioned are not in use, but if they are or you used them before, contact me and I'll change/remove.
Master Table here!