Depression
Actually, this is something I dread writing about. Watch. Right now I'm going to get up and do my laundry. If I lose my balls, I might change the subject. So if it is something easy and light after I come back, you all know why.
When I write about this, this only reflects my personal experience and my observations of others.
Depression is an inherently selfish thing. It rejects community and reflects a perception of rejection from significant people in your life. Suicide is the pinnacle of depression. Or maybe the better word is chasm. You are not thinking about other people when you attempt. You are not thinking of a future that you might share with shining, wonderful, sensitive people. You are primaily concerned with stopping pain or numbness.
When a person is depressed, they believe they are unable to change the problem. Perhaps, they look for people who can change their lives/perspectives/sad nesses for them. Once they realize that no one else will change it for them, or that the situation won't change on its own, they start to think of suicide. For example, it's one thing if you know you're going to have a difficult two years. It's another if you cannot see the end. If it is just going to go on and on. And of course, no one is going to fix anything for you. It's not their job.
Routine was always hell for me. The funnel vision that I had made it necessary for me to change my situation. Half to prove that I could do it. Half to get my ass into a better place. Changing the situation did not solve THE PROBLEM(S), but it did give me a better view of THE END. It gave me perspective.
Who the hell knows where it comes from? Drugs help it, while you're on the drugs, or if you can afford them. Therapy helps it over a long, long time. I wish that most people had more information on Behavior therapy, because it sounds hopeful and positive. Really, I believe that a combination would work the best to alleviate depression. However rare that is.
When one of my friends attempts, I have two very distinct emotions. Empathy, because I can and do understand how a person can feel that way and Rage, because how dare they be that selfish. I want to rail against their attempt and their vision (or lack thereof). My emotions conflict so terribly that it makes me stutter. Now, I can say things like: "How can you feel that way? Can't you see all of the wonderful things you do for people? That they do for you? Can't you see your talent? Can't you see how valued and loved you are?" with anger.
When I write about this, this only reflects my personal experience and my observations of others.
Depression is an inherently selfish thing. It rejects community and reflects a perception of rejection from significant people in your life. Suicide is the pinnacle of depression. Or maybe the better word is chasm. You are not thinking about other people when you attempt. You are not thinking of a future that you might share with shining, wonderful, sensitive people. You are primaily concerned with stopping pain or numbness.
When a person is depressed, they believe they are unable to change the problem. Perhaps, they look for people who can change their lives/perspectives/sad nesses for them. Once they realize that no one else will change it for them, or that the situation won't change on its own, they start to think of suicide. For example, it's one thing if you know you're going to have a difficult two years. It's another if you cannot see the end. If it is just going to go on and on. And of course, no one is going to fix anything for you. It's not their job.
Routine was always hell for me. The funnel vision that I had made it necessary for me to change my situation. Half to prove that I could do it. Half to get my ass into a better place. Changing the situation did not solve THE PROBLEM(S), but it did give me a better view of THE END. It gave me perspective.
Who the hell knows where it comes from? Drugs help it, while you're on the drugs, or if you can afford them. Therapy helps it over a long, long time. I wish that most people had more information on Behavior therapy, because it sounds hopeful and positive. Really, I believe that a combination would work the best to alleviate depression. However rare that is.
When one of my friends attempts, I have two very distinct emotions. Empathy, because I can and do understand how a person can feel that way and Rage, because how dare they be that selfish. I want to rail against their attempt and their vision (or lack thereof). My emotions conflict so terribly that it makes me stutter. Now, I can say things like: "How can you feel that way? Can't you see all of the wonderful things you do for people? That they do for you? Can't you see your talent? Can't you see how valued and loved you are?" with anger.