(no subject)
gotta find an apartment. cheap. one bedroom. windows. they didn't have any more rooms available at school.
and i'm looking outside and i see snow moving sideways in two different directions. i can stand the cabin fever, and feeling closed in by the weather. what i can't stand is the waiting, and unresolved issues. and feeling like i'm unnecessary. and being ashamed of the things i've done. and being wrong 24 hours a day. is all this gonna change in a month? last semester i wanted to come here even before i had the opportunity. now i like being here but i can't stand the way i feel.
so i gotta find an apartment. feel real. work up the energy it takes to be compatible with someone else, cuz i'm drained.
i've been going to this counselor, talking about shit that bothers me. that's all it is right now: venting.
and i'm looking outside and i see snow moving sideways in two different directions. i can stand the cabin fever, and feeling closed in by the weather. what i can't stand is the waiting, and unresolved issues. and feeling like i'm unnecessary. and being ashamed of the things i've done. and being wrong 24 hours a day. is all this gonna change in a month? last semester i wanted to come here even before i had the opportunity. now i like being here but i can't stand the way i feel.
so i gotta find an apartment. feel real. work up the energy it takes to be compatible with someone else, cuz i'm drained.
i've been going to this counselor, talking about shit that bothers me. that's all it is right now: venting.