{Fic} Stay (Awake) With Me | 5/10
Masterpost
Five:____
When Dean cleared his throat uncomfortably about an hour and a half down the road, Sam had a pretty good guess what was coming. He steeled himself for the questions he had known would be inevitable and promised himself he would answer as truthfully as possible. Dean deserved to have a better picture of what was going on after the previous night's sleep disaster. Plus Sam wasn't entirely sure how much he would need or could rely on Gabriel to solve things. As much as his lover seemed inclined to show up and hang around as much as possible, Sam figured Heaven would need his continuous presence more often, depending on how things were going.
"So," Dean started. He coughed again and shifted in his seat. "You scared the crap out of me, man. What's... going on?"
Sam picked at a fraying thread on the outer seam of his jeans. "The memories... it's the Cage. Always the Cage." He physically and mentally cringed from the remembered images and sensations stirring in his mind. Determinedly he pushed it all back, resolved to not have another panic attack.
Dean exhaled a long sigh, sounding tense. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
Sam smiled a little and glanced up to catch Dean's gaze and show the truth of his words as he replied, "Yeah, I know." He ducked his head again and continued, "But it's- I get it now, why you didn't want to talk about Hell. I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" Dean sounded incredulous. "What've you got to be sorry for? Wait, let's not get into that. It's cool. I mean, is that like gonna make it easier? I don't know - do you want to know?"
Surprised, Sam asked, "You mean tit for tat, you tell me something when I answer your question?"
Dean grimaced but nodded his head. "If you want."
Something in Sam's chest clenched at the realization that his brother was willing to open up if that's what it took; but Sam also feared adding details of reality of what his brother had suffered.
"No, you don't need to share," Sam said with a shake of his head. He could see Dean relax a little at the out.
"You sure?"
"Yeah." Sam looked down at the thread he had by now managed to twirl around his finger a couple times. The seam was starting to look bare from his constant tugging. He was glad for a few minutes of silence as he tried to gather his thoughts into something coherent but in a way that wouldn't make him relive all the little details as he provided Dean with some of the information.
Eventually he took a deep breath and began, "Lucifer and Michael fought, at first. Arguments with the most epic bitch fits, it was like a warzone. But when they fought..." Sam let out a shuddering exhale. "They'd forget about me."
Sounding hesitant, Dean asked, "Lucifer wasn't wearing you?"
Sam shook his head. "Not usually. After we fell in, we split up. It was usually that way. Sometimes he... slipped back in." Sam shifted uncomfortably, his skin felt chill and weirdly unfamiliar with the memory of the Devil sliding into him like a suit. "Mostly he liked to wear me at the Elysian Fields," he admitted quietly. His hands clenched and unclenched in hisi lap at the remembered heft of the archangel blade in his hand.
"Shit," Dean muttered.
Sam turned his head to stare blindly out the side window. "He liked to twist things. Confuse realities. Time... I don't know how it passed compared to here or the rest of Hell. It doesn't matter after a while, you know?" Sam licked his lips nervously. "Down there I could see them, really see the archangels for what they were."
"Like wings and stuff?" Dean clarified, sounding rather curious and amazed.
"Yeah, I guess. Kind of like this aura of energy and light around human manifestations of themselves. And it was weird, dude. Lucifer... he's still so bright and it's... beautiful, but like, deadly. Not poisonous, though. There's this- I don't know. There's still something almost pure about him."
Dean grunted with a sound of disbelief. "Oh really," he remarked dryly. "I though Michael was the 'good son' post boy for angelic-ness."
Sam couldn't hide a physical flinch at the comment. He thought of Michael's mottled wings and the clinging presence of wrongness.
"They stopped fighting," Sam said quietly. He opened his mouth to continue but no words came out. He was assaulted by memories of twisted laughter and calmly spoken instructions that meant so much pain.
"Sammy?" Dean sounded wary.
"Michael... was Falling," Sam finally said. He focused on steadying his heartbeat for a few moments, determinedly pushing back the horrors that were teasing at the edge of his consciousness. "And they pretty much stopped fighting. I mean, they still argued but it wasn't the same sort of blow up and it wasn't as often."
Dean inhaled sharply. "Tehy focused their anger on you." Sam nodded wordlessly.
"We'll stop them - the dreams. Flashbacks, whatever." Sam glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw Dean gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. "We'll get Bobby or the angels or, shit, even Crowley, to find something. There's gotta be a way to put up a wall or something to keep it all back."
Sam forestalled furthering that train of thought. "I'll been thinking about that," he admitted, "because this... a lot of this is new. Like, only the past couple weeks, even less. I didn't have these memories when I got back or even last month." Sam saw Dean about to protest and clarified, "It was different memories and a lot of nightmares at first. But Dean, this is different. I know I experienced it, these are real memories, flashbacks I can't escape. I think... I think when Kali brought me back she tried to put up a barrier to hold those memories back."
Dean frowned sharply. "If she did, she did a piss poor job of it."
Sam shrugged. "It's just a guess. But new things keep coming up-" He cut himself off with a sharp breath as the memory of the archangels' live autopsy came to mind. He could feel himself trembling and had to work hard to get it under control before Dean saw. "Maybe they can't be locked away," he finished quietly.
Expression set in determination, Dean said, "We're going to try, anyway."
And really, Sam had no desire to disagree.
*
"Ellen! How's it going?"
Gabriel turned his head to look at the new arrivals coming through the Roadhouse's door. Ellen was already busy preparing drinks behind the bar.
"Come on in, you'll be interested in our usual guests," Ellen greeted.
Ash bounced up from his barstool and waved at Gabriel. "Dude, you're gonna want to meet these guys."
Gabriel arched an eyebrow at that but didn't reply, first turning to his brother. Raphael warily eyed the rapidly filling bar. At Gabriel's snicker, Raphael let out a put-upon sigh and stood up. "I believe humans are your specialty. We will speak again, brother."
Gabriel stood as well and snapped away the leather armchairs. "Go on, get outtta here. These people can only stand so much awesomeness at once." Raphael looked like he twitched at that before he vanished.
The sound of several people talking over one another drew Gabriel's attention back to the human souls gathering around the bar. With a snap he showed up right in the middle of the group, sitting on the bar top. A couple people let out sounds of surprise and stepped back.
Ash nudged through so that he stood by Gabriel's side and introduced, "This is the archangel Gabriel. Apparently he has a line straight to Dean and Sam."
Gabriel let that soak in for the group as he looked them over. Most of the faces were unfamiliar but he quickly identified Mary and John Winchester in the group. He waved at and addressed the group as a whole, but he kept an eye on the Winchester parents;
"Please, I won't do autographs. Maybe later, after you've plied me with chocolate." He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Yes, chocolate."
"You're an archangel," John said, sounding obviously dubious.
Gabriel inclined his head. "That I am. And you're John Winchester." He smiled brilliantly at Mary standing at John's side. "Mary. Please to meet you."
"You're not a stuck-up prig like most of your family, huh?" a dark-haired woman remarked from Ash's side. She eyed Gabriel with an intense look.
"Guess you'll have to wait and decide that for yourself," Gabriel replied.
She smirked but her gaze held reservation. "Sure, hot stuff. I'm Pamela."
Ellen set a couple beers noisily on the bar and shoved one at Pamela. "Lay off, Pam, pretty sure he's off the market."
Gabriel turned an impressed look on the woman. "Oh really?"
She rolled her eyes. "Laid on the innuendo a little think before."
"Smart cookie." Gabriel grinned.
John eyed his suspiciously. "What are you doing here? What do you want?"
Gabriel couldn't say he was surprised by John's reaction; he had heard Dean took after John, the suspicious reaction definitely seemed familiar.
Gabriel leaned back on his hands and met John's stare straight on, just as he would Dean's. "Might seem strange to you, but I was curious about this place. The boys also speak highly of the proprietor." He glanced to the side to beam at Ellen. She gave him a skeptical glare before turning away to speak with a young blonde - that would be Jo, Gabriel determined.
"Doesn't explain why you're still here," John muttered.
Holding back a sigh, Gabriel's focus returned to Papa Winchester. "Did it ever occur to you it might be nice to let your sons know you're all okay 'round here?"
Jo spoke up, "Castiel was the only one helping out."
"He's always going to get the credit, isn't he?" Gabriel grumbled half-heartedly. "You really don't get the details up here, do you?"
Ash pointed at Gabriel. "Got it in one. Well, not enough. I think I'm getting a system worked out, though. Angel radio just keeps broadcasting bullshit politics, though."
The archangel chuckled. "Good to know. I do love a good story, though I don't have time to give it justice right now. But let's be clear, I'm in on the secret handshake for Team Free Will and I prefer hanging around Earth than up here with the red tape. So, is it assuming too much to tell the boys you're alright?"
Ash quickly gave a thumbs up; Jo gave him a thoughtful look; Ellen merely nodded; Pamela said, "I'm not sure about the whole getting me killed thing."
Gabriel's expression tightened as he glared at her. Pamela arched an eyebrow in response and said, "Hey, they're real charmers but death follows them around like it has nothing better to do." She gestured at the gathered people and commented, "Want to know what we have in common?"
"Pamela," Ellen practically growled. The Winchesters did not look pleased, either.
Gabriel disappeared from the counter and reappeared in front of the woman. "Some people get the shit end of the stick and even when they can do something about it, most of them don't even try. Sam and Dean aren't in that category. And if you think you're the one that's suffered, I can gladly let you experience a slice of real Hell." Gabriel lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers warningly.
"Look, feathers, I think I've earned the right to be a bit bitter-"
Before she could continue, the sound of rustling wings announced the arrival of another angel. Gabriel didn't need to look to see who it was, he was quite familiar with Castiel's presence. Behind him, though, he heard movement and then Jo nudged past him, wearing a smile.
"Castiel!" the blonde greeted warmly, actually walking up and giving the angel a quick hug. Some of Gabriel's tension faded away with the amusement of seeing Castiel stand stiff and awkward under the brief contact.
"It is... good to see you well," Castiel offered as Jo stepped back. His gaze flickered around the group.
Pamela had turned around to glare at the new arrival. Her frown deepend and she crossed her arms tightly over her chest.
Castiel's gaze eventually settled on his brother. "Gabriel, Dean has contacted me. They have found the location of the spirit and will take care of it before returning to the hotel."
Gabriel frowned, wondering why he hadn't been the first to hear about it. He had expected Sam to call him, although it might have been that Sam decided to make a call after the hung was finished.
The tension returned to Gabriel as Pamela complained, "Since when did this become the angel hangout? Don't you guys have somewhere else you should hold your little conversations? Figured you'd use every opportunity you could to go full angel and ditch your vessels."
"Just say how you feel, hold nothing back," Gabriel said dryly.
Castiel stared at Pamela blankly for long moments. Then Gabriel saw the head tilt and recognition that crossed his brother's face. Castiel lowered his gaze as he addressed the brunette. "I apologize for the conditions you suffered for looking upon my true form. I attempted to warn you, but I did not fully comprehend at the time how to communicate with humans."
"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Cas," Gabriel defended irritably. He glared at Pamela. "Look lady, shit happens. People in this bar get it and so will you after you let go of this pity party."
"You're an angel," the woman argued, looking hurt and angry. "What do you know about the risks we took and what we faced when we chose to support the Winchesters?"
Gabriel had to struggle hard for control so as not to reach out and shake some sense into her. She was really pissing him off. "I know plenty. I didn't commit myself right away, but they more than earned by trust and my allegiance. I died. Unlike you, I ceased to exist."
"Yet you're flying around like a bird, alive and kicking now, aren't you?"
Castiel drew close to Gabriel's side and said, "It is difficult to explain."
"What does it matter?" Pamela said with a sigh. "There's no way for mere mortals like us to get tossed back into the game. Not unless we're part of some Grand Plan, right? I saw those boys when they came up here last."
Gabriel hated thinking back to that time when he had felt Sam's death cry and suddenly lost all connection to both brothers through his monitoring spells. Gabriel hadn't helped as much as he could have at the time and Castiel had been the one to send contact and guide the brothers along a path to get them to Joshua and the Garden. That had been shortly before Gabriel learned about the Roadhouse in Heaven and the curious absence of some of the Winchesters' other friends.
"Do you really begrudge the lives of your so-called friends?" Castiel asked quietly, tone firm but undemanding.
Pamela's lips pursed and though she didn't look any less angry, she muttered, "No, I don't."
Gabriel held back the urge to sneer, frustrated that anyone who knew the brothers could act so angry about their continued existence; as if they had decided to forget the past and lived uncomplicated lives, ignoring the sacrifices that had been made.
"The threat of the Apocalypse is finished, right?" John asked, eyes narrowed contemplatively as he studied Castiel.
Castiel nodded solemnly. "Lucifer and Michael have been locked in the Cage due to the courage of your sons."
The gathered humans seemed to relax at that. Gabriel looked at them with a sense of weariness. These were the people who could have been the family and support the Winchesters needed. These were the people whose deaths weighed on Sam and Dean's minds, further fuel for their habit of taking on guilt for things that they couldn't have controlled.
He was deep enough in thought that it took him a few moments to process Mary's question, "How are they?" She and Ellen seemed the most cautious about accepting Castiel's simple message of good news at face value.
Castiel began to respond before Gabriel had fully caught up. "The trials they faced continue to weigh heavily on them both. However, I believer Sam suffers more from his memories of the Cage-"
"Cas," Gabriel snapped. Damn it, he should have been quicker on the uptake. "No tact," he muttered to himself as he saw the concerned and confused expressions around him.
Castiel blinked with his brow furrowed in confusion. "I merely wished to answer the question truthfully," he said.
Ellen sighed as she brought out a stack of shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey. "That's fine, Castiel. We appreciate the news." She arched an eyebrow at Gabriel. "I hope you weren't thinking about lying to us."
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Yeesh. Forgive me for wanting to respect some privacy. Here I thought you humans might actually appreciate that."
A gentle hand on his shoulder startled Gabriel and he turned to fine Mary Winchester standing beside him with a gentle smile. "I appreciate your protectiveness," she said. It was easy for Gabriel to get caught up in her gaze and it felt natural to reach out to sense her soul. It was immediately clear to see the soul-mate bond tying her to John. Her soul shone more brightly than the average human. It felt similar to Sam's, which wasn't entirely unusual when it came to familial connections.
Eventually Gabriel realized he had yet to respond and he cleared his throat to give himself time to regroup. He considered Mary's comment and replied, "Someone needs to keep an eye on them and keep them from being complete idiots."
Mary grinned at that and squeezed Gabriel's arm before releasing him. "I'm sure they do."
Gabriel put on a smirk and slung an arm around Castiel's shoulders. "Speaking of which, it sounds like it's time we drop in and do just that."
"But I-"
Gabriel waved off Castiel's protest. "Oh c'mon, bro."
"Why don't you stay with us for a bit, Castiel?" Jo offered. Gabriel glanced at his brother and was surprised to see the younger angel nod after only a moment's hesitation. Gabriel let him go and stepped aside.
"I'm guessing you'll be back?" Ellen phrased it more as a statement as she fixed Gabriel with a stern stare.
"You betcha," Gabriel promptly responded. They both ignored Pamela's unhappy scowl and John's narrow-eyed suspicious stare.
"You owe us a story," Jo directed at the archangel as she guided Castiel towards a barstool. "We'll hold you to it."
"Yeah, yeah, don't worry, kid." Gabriel leaned over Castiel's shoulder and said lowly, "Careful what you say, alright?" He bit back a laugh at the irritated glare he received in response.
"Okay, okay, you'll be fine!" With a wave, Gabriel took flight and left his brother to the inquisitive minds at the Roadhouse.
*
Sam looked up at the sound of displaced air and smiled when he met Gabriel's gaze. The archangel practically bounced over to Sam and plopped himself on the couch next to the human. He promptly hooked his chin over Sam's shoulder and peered at the open laptop. "Are you still doing work?" he complained as he stared at the local newspaper's website.
"Easier to do a few jobs in one area," Sam pointed out.
Gabriel huffed a little. Seconds later he turned his head to kiss the corner of Sam's mouth. "Hmm. How'd today go?"
"Ugh, we're seriously doing this? There's no way we're staying in the same room. Sam, go get another room so I don't have to deal with your boyfriend," Dean complained from the room's kitchenette.
With a frown, Sam countered, "You didn't take anything out of your bags. I'm already set up in here."
"Boys, boys, you forget - I've got all this mojo that I can just whisk us away." Gabriel held his hand up, poised to snap. "Deano, enjoy this dump. Good night!" he sing-songed as he snapped his fingers.
Sam expected to land on his ass or sprawl out ungracefully, but he ended up only dropping a couple inches from the air onto a comfortable, giant couch that had an ottoman larger enough to accommodate his long legs and still have room to spare. His laptop was still in his lap, though an insistent archangel was closing the lip and waiting to put it away. Sam blinked in surprise and started to examine the rest of their surroundings. He let Gabriel have the laptop, trusting that his lover knew better than to do anything to mess with it.
They were in some sort of quite living area that connected to a bedroom seen through open French doors. A large entertainment center was built into the wall across from the couch; the room's colors were sedate nature tones with tans and deep browns and greens. The main piece of furniture was the couch that looked like it could comfortably sleep four adults.
Gabriel turned Sam from his investigation when the archangel pushed up onto his knees and swung himself around to sit astride Sam's thighs. The human lifted his head to meet Gabriel's seeking lips and accepted the more thorough welcome kiss than he'd received in his brother's presence. With lips, tongue, and teeth they played for control of the kiss. Gabriel threaded his fingers into Sam's hair and pressed his advantage by tugging Sam's head to a better angle. He kept right on kissing, pressing closer with his body and nipping Sam's lip lightly when the human moved his hands slowly down Gabriel's back.
Sam slipped his fingers past the waistband of Gabriel's pants and hummed his pleasure when his fingertips pressed against bare skin. The angel shifted his weight, knees spreading farther which let him slide down so that his swiftly growing erection aligned with Sam's.
Sam turned his head away to gasp for breath. Sam let out a helpless, needy whimper as Gabriel rubbed against him tantalizingly slow and began trailing kisses down Sam's jaw and neck.
"What do you want?" Gabriel murmured near Sam's ear. The fingers of one hand clenched in Sam's hair, his other hand rubbed along the human's side. "Let me do this for you. Tell me." Sam clutched at Gabriel's back and whined desperately as he kept shifting, trying to find the best position he could to gain friction for his rapidly increasing arousal. Gabriel licked a stripe across Sam's throat and began kissing up the other side.
Sam managed to gasp, "Clothes-"
"No problemo," Gabriel mumbled against Sam's jaw. He freed one hand to snap and instantly the barriers between skin faded away. "What do you want?" Gabriel repeated the question against Sam's lips.
There could be no answer for some time as they fumbled with lips and teeth and tongue. Sam's hands gripped tightly at Gabriel's hips, pulling the angel in flush against him.
"Hmm, Gabriel... bed..." Sam suggested, though he grabbed the angel's wrist before he could snap. "Hold on."
Gabriel chuckled as he complied with the request; he hugged his knees tight and curved his arms over Sam's shoulders. The human got up from the couch and slid his hands beneath the angel's thighs.
With a little mojo, Gabriel kept them from stumbling too haphazardly across the floor into the bedroom. He returned his fingers to Sam's hair and started tugging on the strands as he slid his tongue between the seam of Sam's lips. Sam responded with a muffled moan; he stood next to the bed for a while, letting himself enjoy his lover's closeness, the weight in his arms, and the mouth covering his.
Eventually his desire for more urged him to turn and drop Gabriel onto the bed. Sam followed, bracing himself over the angel as he grinned down at Gabriel's familiar smirk. The archangel's dilated pupils were limned in golden irises, brighter than usual.
"Come on down here, you giant," Gabriel teased as he linked his fingers behind Sam's neck and tugged. Sam complied easily and got lost again in the feeling of Gabriel's lips and tongue exploring his mouth.
They maneuvered their way more fully onto the bed as they kissed. Sam lowered his body against Gabriel's and rocked his hips. Gabriel broke the kiss and moved his mouth to Sam's ear, nipping at the lobe as his hands roamed over Sam's back; every stroke bringing the angel's fingers lower. Sam released a high needy whine as he shimmied into a better position to get Gabriel's hands lower.
The angel responded to the silent urging and repositioned his hands low on Sam's hips. His hands firmly rubbed Sam's ass and pressed their lower bodies close together.
Over Sam's gasp, Gabriel murmured again, "What do you want?"
In reply, the human reached back to grab one of Gabriel's wrists and moved the angel's hand over so that Gabriel's fingertips trailed over the crease of Sam's ass. Quick to follow direction, Gabriel let two of his fingers rub down the crease and over Sam's opening.
"In me," Sam whispered harshly as he rutted against Gabriel's hip.
Gabriel gave an eager grin as he guided one of Sam's legs into a bent position. The angel conjured a tube of lube and readily slicked his fingers as Sam whispered needy, dirty pleas against the archangel's cheek. Gabriel tilted his head and caught Sam's mouth with his own as he pushed one slick finger into Sam.
They took their time, even as Sam occasionally whimpered to go faster. Gabriel's fingers pressed in deep as he scissored them in a pattern to fully loosen his lover and offer the best preparation. Sam moaned wantonly as Gabriel finished stretching and massaged his fingertips over and over the human's prostate.
"Gabriel, please," Sam groaned, arching into the touch and then leaning forward to rub himself against the angel's hip.
The archangel chuckled and removed his fingers. With Sam's help, they rearranged a little so that the human knelt over the angel and Gabriel leaned up on one elbow. The archangel's free hand curved around Sam's hip as the human grasped Gabriel's cock and guided himself down.
Sam set the pace, lowering himself bit by bit, pulling up before sinking down further. For a moment after Sam had lowered himself completely, the human stilled and looked down at the angel, lips parted as he panted. Gabriel smiled up at him and removed his hand from Sam's hip to reach up and brush Sam's cheek.
"You just gonna sit there?" Gabriel teased, shifting just a little, but enough that Sam let out a surprised whimper.
"You're so impatient," Sam managed to reply. He could feel sweat trickling down the back of his neck and making his hair stick to his skin.
Gabriel pushed himself up a little more and used his tongue to lick a swath of skin covering the human's pectoral muscles. Sam shivered in response and then started to raise himself again.
They quickly established a rhythm, sometimes a little shuddery as Gabriel continued his tongue's ministrations of Sam's chest. In retaliation, Sam occasionally tightened around Gabriel's cock, surprising an extra rush of pleasure from the archangel.
When Sam's pace began to pick up, Gabriel bent his knees to brace his feet on the mattress. His arms wrapped around Sam's back and he curved his hands over the human's shoulders from behind. Sam adjusted to brace himself over Gabriel on his hands and knees. Their bodies met at a faster pace.
"Gabriel," Sam gasped, mouth sloppily covering the archangel's. Gabriel's fingers pressed tighter into Sam's shoulders as the push-pull grew more determined.
Gabriel swallowed Sam's cry of release and plundered the human's mouth as he followed his lover in climax.
Sam lay sprawled over Gabriel for a while, a heavy, welcome weight as they caught their breath and came down from the post orgasmic high. Eventually Sam moved so that Gabriel could pull out and the archangel utilized a convenient snap of magic to clean off sweat-soaked, cum-smeared skin.
Freshly cleaned, Sam lowered himself again. Sam laid on his stomach with his head resting on Gabriel's shoulder. He dropped his hand to rest on the archangel's hip and slowly let his fingers drift back and forth over smooth skin. As much as Sam dreaded the possible nightmares that could come with sleep, he couldn't deny he was tired. At least he had his lover at his side. Gabriel's fingers played with Sam's hair, twirling strands around his fingers.
"I'm not going anywhere, kiddo," Gabriel murmured. "Promise to wake you if I sense anything funky."
Sam shifted a little and frowned. "Don't go in again, okay?" Gabriel's fingers stilled but Sam would not let this go. "Only in emergencies, remember? I... you shouldn't see that."
Gabriel's arm tightened around Sam's back. "Sam, I'm here. For you. I don't need you to think you're protecting me from something. But," he sighed, "if you don't want to go into details yet, I won't press it, 'kay?"
Sam closed his eyes in relief. He nodded his head and relaxed against his lover again. "Thanks," he murmured.
He could feel Gabriel's fingers moving again in his hair as he drifted towards unconsciouness.
***
Next
Five:____
When Dean cleared his throat uncomfortably about an hour and a half down the road, Sam had a pretty good guess what was coming. He steeled himself for the questions he had known would be inevitable and promised himself he would answer as truthfully as possible. Dean deserved to have a better picture of what was going on after the previous night's sleep disaster. Plus Sam wasn't entirely sure how much he would need or could rely on Gabriel to solve things. As much as his lover seemed inclined to show up and hang around as much as possible, Sam figured Heaven would need his continuous presence more often, depending on how things were going.
"So," Dean started. He coughed again and shifted in his seat. "You scared the crap out of me, man. What's... going on?"
Sam picked at a fraying thread on the outer seam of his jeans. "The memories... it's the Cage. Always the Cage." He physically and mentally cringed from the remembered images and sensations stirring in his mind. Determinedly he pushed it all back, resolved to not have another panic attack.
Dean exhaled a long sigh, sounding tense. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
Sam smiled a little and glanced up to catch Dean's gaze and show the truth of his words as he replied, "Yeah, I know." He ducked his head again and continued, "But it's- I get it now, why you didn't want to talk about Hell. I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" Dean sounded incredulous. "What've you got to be sorry for? Wait, let's not get into that. It's cool. I mean, is that like gonna make it easier? I don't know - do you want to know?"
Surprised, Sam asked, "You mean tit for tat, you tell me something when I answer your question?"
Dean grimaced but nodded his head. "If you want."
Something in Sam's chest clenched at the realization that his brother was willing to open up if that's what it took; but Sam also feared adding details of reality of what his brother had suffered.
"No, you don't need to share," Sam said with a shake of his head. He could see Dean relax a little at the out.
"You sure?"
"Yeah." Sam looked down at the thread he had by now managed to twirl around his finger a couple times. The seam was starting to look bare from his constant tugging. He was glad for a few minutes of silence as he tried to gather his thoughts into something coherent but in a way that wouldn't make him relive all the little details as he provided Dean with some of the information.
Eventually he took a deep breath and began, "Lucifer and Michael fought, at first. Arguments with the most epic bitch fits, it was like a warzone. But when they fought..." Sam let out a shuddering exhale. "They'd forget about me."
Sounding hesitant, Dean asked, "Lucifer wasn't wearing you?"
Sam shook his head. "Not usually. After we fell in, we split up. It was usually that way. Sometimes he... slipped back in." Sam shifted uncomfortably, his skin felt chill and weirdly unfamiliar with the memory of the Devil sliding into him like a suit. "Mostly he liked to wear me at the Elysian Fields," he admitted quietly. His hands clenched and unclenched in hisi lap at the remembered heft of the archangel blade in his hand.
"Shit," Dean muttered.
Sam turned his head to stare blindly out the side window. "He liked to twist things. Confuse realities. Time... I don't know how it passed compared to here or the rest of Hell. It doesn't matter after a while, you know?" Sam licked his lips nervously. "Down there I could see them, really see the archangels for what they were."
"Like wings and stuff?" Dean clarified, sounding rather curious and amazed.
"Yeah, I guess. Kind of like this aura of energy and light around human manifestations of themselves. And it was weird, dude. Lucifer... he's still so bright and it's... beautiful, but like, deadly. Not poisonous, though. There's this- I don't know. There's still something almost pure about him."
Dean grunted with a sound of disbelief. "Oh really," he remarked dryly. "I though Michael was the 'good son' post boy for angelic-ness."
Sam couldn't hide a physical flinch at the comment. He thought of Michael's mottled wings and the clinging presence of wrongness.
"They stopped fighting," Sam said quietly. He opened his mouth to continue but no words came out. He was assaulted by memories of twisted laughter and calmly spoken instructions that meant so much pain.
"Sammy?" Dean sounded wary.
"Michael... was Falling," Sam finally said. He focused on steadying his heartbeat for a few moments, determinedly pushing back the horrors that were teasing at the edge of his consciousness. "And they pretty much stopped fighting. I mean, they still argued but it wasn't the same sort of blow up and it wasn't as often."
Dean inhaled sharply. "Tehy focused their anger on you." Sam nodded wordlessly.
"We'll stop them - the dreams. Flashbacks, whatever." Sam glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw Dean gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. "We'll get Bobby or the angels or, shit, even Crowley, to find something. There's gotta be a way to put up a wall or something to keep it all back."
Sam forestalled furthering that train of thought. "I'll been thinking about that," he admitted, "because this... a lot of this is new. Like, only the past couple weeks, even less. I didn't have these memories when I got back or even last month." Sam saw Dean about to protest and clarified, "It was different memories and a lot of nightmares at first. But Dean, this is different. I know I experienced it, these are real memories, flashbacks I can't escape. I think... I think when Kali brought me back she tried to put up a barrier to hold those memories back."
Dean frowned sharply. "If she did, she did a piss poor job of it."
Sam shrugged. "It's just a guess. But new things keep coming up-" He cut himself off with a sharp breath as the memory of the archangels' live autopsy came to mind. He could feel himself trembling and had to work hard to get it under control before Dean saw. "Maybe they can't be locked away," he finished quietly.
Expression set in determination, Dean said, "We're going to try, anyway."
And really, Sam had no desire to disagree.
*
"Ellen! How's it going?"
Gabriel turned his head to look at the new arrivals coming through the Roadhouse's door. Ellen was already busy preparing drinks behind the bar.
"Come on in, you'll be interested in our usual guests," Ellen greeted.
Ash bounced up from his barstool and waved at Gabriel. "Dude, you're gonna want to meet these guys."
Gabriel arched an eyebrow at that but didn't reply, first turning to his brother. Raphael warily eyed the rapidly filling bar. At Gabriel's snicker, Raphael let out a put-upon sigh and stood up. "I believe humans are your specialty. We will speak again, brother."
Gabriel stood as well and snapped away the leather armchairs. "Go on, get outtta here. These people can only stand so much awesomeness at once." Raphael looked like he twitched at that before he vanished.
The sound of several people talking over one another drew Gabriel's attention back to the human souls gathering around the bar. With a snap he showed up right in the middle of the group, sitting on the bar top. A couple people let out sounds of surprise and stepped back.
Ash nudged through so that he stood by Gabriel's side and introduced, "This is the archangel Gabriel. Apparently he has a line straight to Dean and Sam."
Gabriel let that soak in for the group as he looked them over. Most of the faces were unfamiliar but he quickly identified Mary and John Winchester in the group. He waved at and addressed the group as a whole, but he kept an eye on the Winchester parents;
"Please, I won't do autographs. Maybe later, after you've plied me with chocolate." He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Yes, chocolate."
"You're an archangel," John said, sounding obviously dubious.
Gabriel inclined his head. "That I am. And you're John Winchester." He smiled brilliantly at Mary standing at John's side. "Mary. Please to meet you."
"You're not a stuck-up prig like most of your family, huh?" a dark-haired woman remarked from Ash's side. She eyed Gabriel with an intense look.
"Guess you'll have to wait and decide that for yourself," Gabriel replied.
She smirked but her gaze held reservation. "Sure, hot stuff. I'm Pamela."
Ellen set a couple beers noisily on the bar and shoved one at Pamela. "Lay off, Pam, pretty sure he's off the market."
Gabriel turned an impressed look on the woman. "Oh really?"
She rolled her eyes. "Laid on the innuendo a little think before."
"Smart cookie." Gabriel grinned.
John eyed his suspiciously. "What are you doing here? What do you want?"
Gabriel couldn't say he was surprised by John's reaction; he had heard Dean took after John, the suspicious reaction definitely seemed familiar.
Gabriel leaned back on his hands and met John's stare straight on, just as he would Dean's. "Might seem strange to you, but I was curious about this place. The boys also speak highly of the proprietor." He glanced to the side to beam at Ellen. She gave him a skeptical glare before turning away to speak with a young blonde - that would be Jo, Gabriel determined.
"Doesn't explain why you're still here," John muttered.
Holding back a sigh, Gabriel's focus returned to Papa Winchester. "Did it ever occur to you it might be nice to let your sons know you're all okay 'round here?"
Jo spoke up, "Castiel was the only one helping out."
"He's always going to get the credit, isn't he?" Gabriel grumbled half-heartedly. "You really don't get the details up here, do you?"
Ash pointed at Gabriel. "Got it in one. Well, not enough. I think I'm getting a system worked out, though. Angel radio just keeps broadcasting bullshit politics, though."
The archangel chuckled. "Good to know. I do love a good story, though I don't have time to give it justice right now. But let's be clear, I'm in on the secret handshake for Team Free Will and I prefer hanging around Earth than up here with the red tape. So, is it assuming too much to tell the boys you're alright?"
Ash quickly gave a thumbs up; Jo gave him a thoughtful look; Ellen merely nodded; Pamela said, "I'm not sure about the whole getting me killed thing."
Gabriel's expression tightened as he glared at her. Pamela arched an eyebrow in response and said, "Hey, they're real charmers but death follows them around like it has nothing better to do." She gestured at the gathered people and commented, "Want to know what we have in common?"
"Pamela," Ellen practically growled. The Winchesters did not look pleased, either.
Gabriel disappeared from the counter and reappeared in front of the woman. "Some people get the shit end of the stick and even when they can do something about it, most of them don't even try. Sam and Dean aren't in that category. And if you think you're the one that's suffered, I can gladly let you experience a slice of real Hell." Gabriel lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers warningly.
"Look, feathers, I think I've earned the right to be a bit bitter-"
Before she could continue, the sound of rustling wings announced the arrival of another angel. Gabriel didn't need to look to see who it was, he was quite familiar with Castiel's presence. Behind him, though, he heard movement and then Jo nudged past him, wearing a smile.
"Castiel!" the blonde greeted warmly, actually walking up and giving the angel a quick hug. Some of Gabriel's tension faded away with the amusement of seeing Castiel stand stiff and awkward under the brief contact.
"It is... good to see you well," Castiel offered as Jo stepped back. His gaze flickered around the group.
Pamela had turned around to glare at the new arrival. Her frown deepend and she crossed her arms tightly over her chest.
Castiel's gaze eventually settled on his brother. "Gabriel, Dean has contacted me. They have found the location of the spirit and will take care of it before returning to the hotel."
Gabriel frowned, wondering why he hadn't been the first to hear about it. He had expected Sam to call him, although it might have been that Sam decided to make a call after the hung was finished.
The tension returned to Gabriel as Pamela complained, "Since when did this become the angel hangout? Don't you guys have somewhere else you should hold your little conversations? Figured you'd use every opportunity you could to go full angel and ditch your vessels."
"Just say how you feel, hold nothing back," Gabriel said dryly.
Castiel stared at Pamela blankly for long moments. Then Gabriel saw the head tilt and recognition that crossed his brother's face. Castiel lowered his gaze as he addressed the brunette. "I apologize for the conditions you suffered for looking upon my true form. I attempted to warn you, but I did not fully comprehend at the time how to communicate with humans."
"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Cas," Gabriel defended irritably. He glared at Pamela. "Look lady, shit happens. People in this bar get it and so will you after you let go of this pity party."
"You're an angel," the woman argued, looking hurt and angry. "What do you know about the risks we took and what we faced when we chose to support the Winchesters?"
Gabriel had to struggle hard for control so as not to reach out and shake some sense into her. She was really pissing him off. "I know plenty. I didn't commit myself right away, but they more than earned by trust and my allegiance. I died. Unlike you, I ceased to exist."
"Yet you're flying around like a bird, alive and kicking now, aren't you?"
Castiel drew close to Gabriel's side and said, "It is difficult to explain."
"What does it matter?" Pamela said with a sigh. "There's no way for mere mortals like us to get tossed back into the game. Not unless we're part of some Grand Plan, right? I saw those boys when they came up here last."
Gabriel hated thinking back to that time when he had felt Sam's death cry and suddenly lost all connection to both brothers through his monitoring spells. Gabriel hadn't helped as much as he could have at the time and Castiel had been the one to send contact and guide the brothers along a path to get them to Joshua and the Garden. That had been shortly before Gabriel learned about the Roadhouse in Heaven and the curious absence of some of the Winchesters' other friends.
"Do you really begrudge the lives of your so-called friends?" Castiel asked quietly, tone firm but undemanding.
Pamela's lips pursed and though she didn't look any less angry, she muttered, "No, I don't."
Gabriel held back the urge to sneer, frustrated that anyone who knew the brothers could act so angry about their continued existence; as if they had decided to forget the past and lived uncomplicated lives, ignoring the sacrifices that had been made.
"The threat of the Apocalypse is finished, right?" John asked, eyes narrowed contemplatively as he studied Castiel.
Castiel nodded solemnly. "Lucifer and Michael have been locked in the Cage due to the courage of your sons."
The gathered humans seemed to relax at that. Gabriel looked at them with a sense of weariness. These were the people who could have been the family and support the Winchesters needed. These were the people whose deaths weighed on Sam and Dean's minds, further fuel for their habit of taking on guilt for things that they couldn't have controlled.
He was deep enough in thought that it took him a few moments to process Mary's question, "How are they?" She and Ellen seemed the most cautious about accepting Castiel's simple message of good news at face value.
Castiel began to respond before Gabriel had fully caught up. "The trials they faced continue to weigh heavily on them both. However, I believer Sam suffers more from his memories of the Cage-"
"Cas," Gabriel snapped. Damn it, he should have been quicker on the uptake. "No tact," he muttered to himself as he saw the concerned and confused expressions around him.
Castiel blinked with his brow furrowed in confusion. "I merely wished to answer the question truthfully," he said.
Ellen sighed as she brought out a stack of shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey. "That's fine, Castiel. We appreciate the news." She arched an eyebrow at Gabriel. "I hope you weren't thinking about lying to us."
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Yeesh. Forgive me for wanting to respect some privacy. Here I thought you humans might actually appreciate that."
A gentle hand on his shoulder startled Gabriel and he turned to fine Mary Winchester standing beside him with a gentle smile. "I appreciate your protectiveness," she said. It was easy for Gabriel to get caught up in her gaze and it felt natural to reach out to sense her soul. It was immediately clear to see the soul-mate bond tying her to John. Her soul shone more brightly than the average human. It felt similar to Sam's, which wasn't entirely unusual when it came to familial connections.
Eventually Gabriel realized he had yet to respond and he cleared his throat to give himself time to regroup. He considered Mary's comment and replied, "Someone needs to keep an eye on them and keep them from being complete idiots."
Mary grinned at that and squeezed Gabriel's arm before releasing him. "I'm sure they do."
Gabriel put on a smirk and slung an arm around Castiel's shoulders. "Speaking of which, it sounds like it's time we drop in and do just that."
"But I-"
Gabriel waved off Castiel's protest. "Oh c'mon, bro."
"Why don't you stay with us for a bit, Castiel?" Jo offered. Gabriel glanced at his brother and was surprised to see the younger angel nod after only a moment's hesitation. Gabriel let him go and stepped aside.
"I'm guessing you'll be back?" Ellen phrased it more as a statement as she fixed Gabriel with a stern stare.
"You betcha," Gabriel promptly responded. They both ignored Pamela's unhappy scowl and John's narrow-eyed suspicious stare.
"You owe us a story," Jo directed at the archangel as she guided Castiel towards a barstool. "We'll hold you to it."
"Yeah, yeah, don't worry, kid." Gabriel leaned over Castiel's shoulder and said lowly, "Careful what you say, alright?" He bit back a laugh at the irritated glare he received in response.
"Okay, okay, you'll be fine!" With a wave, Gabriel took flight and left his brother to the inquisitive minds at the Roadhouse.
*
Sam looked up at the sound of displaced air and smiled when he met Gabriel's gaze. The archangel practically bounced over to Sam and plopped himself on the couch next to the human. He promptly hooked his chin over Sam's shoulder and peered at the open laptop. "Are you still doing work?" he complained as he stared at the local newspaper's website.
"Easier to do a few jobs in one area," Sam pointed out.
Gabriel huffed a little. Seconds later he turned his head to kiss the corner of Sam's mouth. "Hmm. How'd today go?"
"Ugh, we're seriously doing this? There's no way we're staying in the same room. Sam, go get another room so I don't have to deal with your boyfriend," Dean complained from the room's kitchenette.
With a frown, Sam countered, "You didn't take anything out of your bags. I'm already set up in here."
"Boys, boys, you forget - I've got all this mojo that I can just whisk us away." Gabriel held his hand up, poised to snap. "Deano, enjoy this dump. Good night!" he sing-songed as he snapped his fingers.
Sam expected to land on his ass or sprawl out ungracefully, but he ended up only dropping a couple inches from the air onto a comfortable, giant couch that had an ottoman larger enough to accommodate his long legs and still have room to spare. His laptop was still in his lap, though an insistent archangel was closing the lip and waiting to put it away. Sam blinked in surprise and started to examine the rest of their surroundings. He let Gabriel have the laptop, trusting that his lover knew better than to do anything to mess with it.
They were in some sort of quite living area that connected to a bedroom seen through open French doors. A large entertainment center was built into the wall across from the couch; the room's colors were sedate nature tones with tans and deep browns and greens. The main piece of furniture was the couch that looked like it could comfortably sleep four adults.
Gabriel turned Sam from his investigation when the archangel pushed up onto his knees and swung himself around to sit astride Sam's thighs. The human lifted his head to meet Gabriel's seeking lips and accepted the more thorough welcome kiss than he'd received in his brother's presence. With lips, tongue, and teeth they played for control of the kiss. Gabriel threaded his fingers into Sam's hair and pressed his advantage by tugging Sam's head to a better angle. He kept right on kissing, pressing closer with his body and nipping Sam's lip lightly when the human moved his hands slowly down Gabriel's back.
Sam slipped his fingers past the waistband of Gabriel's pants and hummed his pleasure when his fingertips pressed against bare skin. The angel shifted his weight, knees spreading farther which let him slide down so that his swiftly growing erection aligned with Sam's.
Sam turned his head away to gasp for breath. Sam let out a helpless, needy whimper as Gabriel rubbed against him tantalizingly slow and began trailing kisses down Sam's jaw and neck.
"What do you want?" Gabriel murmured near Sam's ear. The fingers of one hand clenched in Sam's hair, his other hand rubbed along the human's side. "Let me do this for you. Tell me." Sam clutched at Gabriel's back and whined desperately as he kept shifting, trying to find the best position he could to gain friction for his rapidly increasing arousal. Gabriel licked a stripe across Sam's throat and began kissing up the other side.
Sam managed to gasp, "Clothes-"
"No problemo," Gabriel mumbled against Sam's jaw. He freed one hand to snap and instantly the barriers between skin faded away. "What do you want?" Gabriel repeated the question against Sam's lips.
There could be no answer for some time as they fumbled with lips and teeth and tongue. Sam's hands gripped tightly at Gabriel's hips, pulling the angel in flush against him.
"Hmm, Gabriel... bed..." Sam suggested, though he grabbed the angel's wrist before he could snap. "Hold on."
Gabriel chuckled as he complied with the request; he hugged his knees tight and curved his arms over Sam's shoulders. The human got up from the couch and slid his hands beneath the angel's thighs.
With a little mojo, Gabriel kept them from stumbling too haphazardly across the floor into the bedroom. He returned his fingers to Sam's hair and started tugging on the strands as he slid his tongue between the seam of Sam's lips. Sam responded with a muffled moan; he stood next to the bed for a while, letting himself enjoy his lover's closeness, the weight in his arms, and the mouth covering his.
Eventually his desire for more urged him to turn and drop Gabriel onto the bed. Sam followed, bracing himself over the angel as he grinned down at Gabriel's familiar smirk. The archangel's dilated pupils were limned in golden irises, brighter than usual.
"Come on down here, you giant," Gabriel teased as he linked his fingers behind Sam's neck and tugged. Sam complied easily and got lost again in the feeling of Gabriel's lips and tongue exploring his mouth.
They maneuvered their way more fully onto the bed as they kissed. Sam lowered his body against Gabriel's and rocked his hips. Gabriel broke the kiss and moved his mouth to Sam's ear, nipping at the lobe as his hands roamed over Sam's back; every stroke bringing the angel's fingers lower. Sam released a high needy whine as he shimmied into a better position to get Gabriel's hands lower.
The angel responded to the silent urging and repositioned his hands low on Sam's hips. His hands firmly rubbed Sam's ass and pressed their lower bodies close together.
Over Sam's gasp, Gabriel murmured again, "What do you want?"
In reply, the human reached back to grab one of Gabriel's wrists and moved the angel's hand over so that Gabriel's fingertips trailed over the crease of Sam's ass. Quick to follow direction, Gabriel let two of his fingers rub down the crease and over Sam's opening.
"In me," Sam whispered harshly as he rutted against Gabriel's hip.
Gabriel gave an eager grin as he guided one of Sam's legs into a bent position. The angel conjured a tube of lube and readily slicked his fingers as Sam whispered needy, dirty pleas against the archangel's cheek. Gabriel tilted his head and caught Sam's mouth with his own as he pushed one slick finger into Sam.
They took their time, even as Sam occasionally whimpered to go faster. Gabriel's fingers pressed in deep as he scissored them in a pattern to fully loosen his lover and offer the best preparation. Sam moaned wantonly as Gabriel finished stretching and massaged his fingertips over and over the human's prostate.
"Gabriel, please," Sam groaned, arching into the touch and then leaning forward to rub himself against the angel's hip.
The archangel chuckled and removed his fingers. With Sam's help, they rearranged a little so that the human knelt over the angel and Gabriel leaned up on one elbow. The archangel's free hand curved around Sam's hip as the human grasped Gabriel's cock and guided himself down.
Sam set the pace, lowering himself bit by bit, pulling up before sinking down further. For a moment after Sam had lowered himself completely, the human stilled and looked down at the angel, lips parted as he panted. Gabriel smiled up at him and removed his hand from Sam's hip to reach up and brush Sam's cheek.
"You just gonna sit there?" Gabriel teased, shifting just a little, but enough that Sam let out a surprised whimper.
"You're so impatient," Sam managed to reply. He could feel sweat trickling down the back of his neck and making his hair stick to his skin.
Gabriel pushed himself up a little more and used his tongue to lick a swath of skin covering the human's pectoral muscles. Sam shivered in response and then started to raise himself again.
They quickly established a rhythm, sometimes a little shuddery as Gabriel continued his tongue's ministrations of Sam's chest. In retaliation, Sam occasionally tightened around Gabriel's cock, surprising an extra rush of pleasure from the archangel.
When Sam's pace began to pick up, Gabriel bent his knees to brace his feet on the mattress. His arms wrapped around Sam's back and he curved his hands over the human's shoulders from behind. Sam adjusted to brace himself over Gabriel on his hands and knees. Their bodies met at a faster pace.
"Gabriel," Sam gasped, mouth sloppily covering the archangel's. Gabriel's fingers pressed tighter into Sam's shoulders as the push-pull grew more determined.
Gabriel swallowed Sam's cry of release and plundered the human's mouth as he followed his lover in climax.
Sam lay sprawled over Gabriel for a while, a heavy, welcome weight as they caught their breath and came down from the post orgasmic high. Eventually Sam moved so that Gabriel could pull out and the archangel utilized a convenient snap of magic to clean off sweat-soaked, cum-smeared skin.
Freshly cleaned, Sam lowered himself again. Sam laid on his stomach with his head resting on Gabriel's shoulder. He dropped his hand to rest on the archangel's hip and slowly let his fingers drift back and forth over smooth skin. As much as Sam dreaded the possible nightmares that could come with sleep, he couldn't deny he was tired. At least he had his lover at his side. Gabriel's fingers played with Sam's hair, twirling strands around his fingers.
"I'm not going anywhere, kiddo," Gabriel murmured. "Promise to wake you if I sense anything funky."
Sam shifted a little and frowned. "Don't go in again, okay?" Gabriel's fingers stilled but Sam would not let this go. "Only in emergencies, remember? I... you shouldn't see that."
Gabriel's arm tightened around Sam's back. "Sam, I'm here. For you. I don't need you to think you're protecting me from something. But," he sighed, "if you don't want to go into details yet, I won't press it, 'kay?"
Sam closed his eyes in relief. He nodded his head and relaxed against his lover again. "Thanks," he murmured.
He could feel Gabriel's fingers moving again in his hair as he drifted towards unconsciouness.
***
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