Random thoughts
It’s funny because I wrote this yesterday afternoon, before this morning’s chat.
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I can’t help but think where we would be right now had I been able to tell you the things I have in the past week and a half, a few years earlier had I been able to reach you.
Like…
I wonder what it would’ve been like to be in a serious relationship with you…or live together.
I wonder what it would’ve been like to wake up next to you everyday, just happy to see you.
I wonder what it would’ve been like to get into nonsensical arguments with you and then makeup afterwards
I wonder what it would’ve been like to raise kids with you and compare their personality traits against our own.
I wonder what it would’ve been like to grow old with you.
See…this is all dangerous though…or dangerous to think about, but like I said I wonder if sometimes you think the same things. At the end of the day though they’re just thoughts…and admittedly thoughts that I should really keep to myself or if I feel the need to speak them I’ll just do so late at night from my bed into an empty room.
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What a pickle…
I guess this sounds like a good plan. However I don’t know if it matters since I’m sure I’ll end up bringing these thoughts and feelings to the table anyways. A situation like this just wants to make me scream. Scream at my own screw-ups…scream at the supposed unfairness in the world…just scream at this whole situation…
Well scream or just let my shoulders drop, giving up that last bit of hope that I’ve been clinging too.
The answer to all of this is out there somewhere, I just need to find it.
Orange brings out my ears...of coure since i'm wearing a yellow cap...
