the seductive advice of 'make the time'
"Try harder."
"Stop making excuses."
"Make the time."
"Just do it."
These snippets of advice can sometimes be useful. If your problem is with motivation, discipline, time management, or feeling insecure or uncertain about starting, then sometimes these phrases can be a reminder of an attitude that helps.
There are some problems that do not get better from trying harder, or from being harsher with yourself. These phrases utterly fail to deal with those types of problems, and can even be discouraging and counterproductive.
"But I'm already trying as hard as I can, and it didn't work, and if I do more I'll hurt myself, in fact I already have, from pushing too hard in the past."
"These aren't excuses, they are actually good reasons."
"The consequences of making the time or just doing it aren't limited to the time spent on the project but would negatively impact other areas of my life."
Those are some of the antidote responses I have to remind myself of, when the seductive whisper of "you could have this, if you'd only try harder, make the time" washes through my head.
I also remind myself, that sometimes taking another approach to the problem, researching and seeking more options, and being more gentle and accepting of limitations, and reserving energy can work better than the attitude and behaviour those phrases push me to. Living life to the fullest does not mean always going flat-out and going just up to your limits. I used to think it meant that. I've learned to do things differently, but I'm not entirely emotionally with the new program.
It's not that I think that "Make the time" is bad advice, exactly. It's incomplete advice. It works up to a point. Then beyond that point stops being useful. Many people never reach that point. So they might naturally think it is a cure-all.
I've found little advice for the times when those phrases don't work. I've had to make up my own approach as I go along.
"Stop making excuses."
"Make the time."
"Just do it."
These snippets of advice can sometimes be useful. If your problem is with motivation, discipline, time management, or feeling insecure or uncertain about starting, then sometimes these phrases can be a reminder of an attitude that helps.
There are some problems that do not get better from trying harder, or from being harsher with yourself. These phrases utterly fail to deal with those types of problems, and can even be discouraging and counterproductive.
"But I'm already trying as hard as I can, and it didn't work, and if I do more I'll hurt myself, in fact I already have, from pushing too hard in the past."
"These aren't excuses, they are actually good reasons."
"The consequences of making the time or just doing it aren't limited to the time spent on the project but would negatively impact other areas of my life."
Those are some of the antidote responses I have to remind myself of, when the seductive whisper of "you could have this, if you'd only try harder, make the time" washes through my head.
I also remind myself, that sometimes taking another approach to the problem, researching and seeking more options, and being more gentle and accepting of limitations, and reserving energy can work better than the attitude and behaviour those phrases push me to. Living life to the fullest does not mean always going flat-out and going just up to your limits. I used to think it meant that. I've learned to do things differently, but I'm not entirely emotionally with the new program.
It's not that I think that "Make the time" is bad advice, exactly. It's incomplete advice. It works up to a point. Then beyond that point stops being useful. Many people never reach that point. So they might naturally think it is a cure-all.
I've found little advice for the times when those phrases don't work. I've had to make up my own approach as I go along.