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Hello everyone in LJ-Land. Apparently, Conquest is open for writers to submit blurbs, although I assume that most people are using it for Arc at the moment. Anyway, I have a game (freeform) which I am hoping to run at Conquest, and would like to take this opportunity to ask everyone to criticise (positive, please) the blurb I currently have
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Mention that it is a "swashbuckling freeform based in the world of Swashbucklers of the 7 Skies," rather than a "swashbuckling adventure." Helps avoiding confusion by people expecting the tabletop (if they are familiar with S7S), and informs people who want to look for a bit more information a chance to practice their swashbuckling Google-fu. [Don't rely on where it is listed (programme organisers can get confused too), and there is nothing wrong with redundancy. Sometimes people forget to read.]
May the Chameleon Star spped your journey through The Ghost Sky!
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I suspect that you have reversed the intent of the scenario, which definitely means that the blurb might need work. I believe enkorvaks is intending that it be the pirates who are worried about the fact that their previously elusive Tortuga base is now vulnerable.
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I'm not so big on "swashbuckling freeform based in the world of Swashbucklers of the 7 Skies". Redundancy isn't bad, but flow is good, and that's a hell of a mouthful. If the name of the game wasn't so long, it'd be much better, but you can't change that. It might be worth finding a way to work in that information without winding up with such a long tag-line. A bit depends on the convention's standardised information. If you were submitting this for Arcanacon, our current stat-block would cover "freeform" and "Swashbucklers of the Seven Skies" prominently right underneath that last line of text, but I think Conquest's standard blurb formatting has been in a bit of a state of flux the last couple of years (and they don't have the 2011 blurbs in their web archive to check the most recent format).
I like the alternate name, because "The X of Y" is so overused (though sometimes you want to tap into the cliche... and other times you just can't get away from it. While only a minor variant on that form, the title of one of my Conquest ( ... )
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Well, possibly. They know that they are pirates, and they don't trust pirates (except the ones on their own ship). Would you?
I have rejigged the phrase for version 2, so Ilwuz is now "the last bastion of freedom in the Dome", which (I think) does indicate where the speaker is from.
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Yes, it is a reverse of what I intended, which is why I wanted other eyes to look at it. It seemed fine to me...
I have re-written the blurb a bit, and will be posting V2.0 some time soon (in the next few days - I want to hone it a little more).
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Unsure if there is much available outside of the rulebook on Ilwuz, it's unique behaviour, or it's unique system of governance.
There's http://s7s.wikidot.com/narrow and http://s7s.wikidot.com/ilwuz. Although the default guide to the 7 Skies [http://www.7skies.net/World-Of-S7S.pdf] might be a useful link.
Also stylistically it's always referred to as the 7 Skies, never by the word. Also instead of "the wretched hive of..." try "this wretched hive of..."
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