charloft } { 33. The last thing you lost
[Set in beyondtherift. ohshiny_tomatos is used with permission and love. Related to THIS thread.]
There is something about Parker that draws Bela to her.
Maybe it’s that she reminds her of pieces of herself, maybe it’s that she sees that Parker is what she could have been. If her choices had been different, if she had waited out her father, or spoke to the police, or did any number of things other than trusting a little girl with snake eyes who promised her a way out that was far too easy. She paid for it in the end. Maybe not in the way it was intended, thanks to the rift, but she paid for it everywhere else. She never had any friends, never had any family. All she had was the money in her bank account, and in the end what they say is true. Money can’t buy you the things that really matter.
In the end, it can’t even save your life.
That all doesn’t matter now. Here, she doesn’t have to be that person anymore. She can be a person who lives, who takes risks and doesn’t have a clock ticking down in the back of her mind. Here she has Parker-a relationship she can’t make heads or tails of most of the time due to rift interference, but there’s something about Parker that she recognizes. She sees her, and she thinks that that is what she could have been if she hadn’t sold her soul. If she had had a better way out. True, Parker was socially awkward, and a little naive, but there’s this confidence she has. She knows who she is. Even though it might not be the perfect person, she’s still secure in that aspect of herself. Bela’s never had that, no matter how hard she’s tries.
When she walks into the room, and sees all that confidence shattered, it breaks her heart. It makes her angry. She wonders who this person was, that they couldn’t see all that is there for Parker to offer, the parts of her that make her incredible. She thinks they either have to be incredibly vindictive or a moron, but she isn’t sure which. If it’s the former, she feels the strong urge to shoot them. If it’s the latter, she thinks they need to learn how to look at people.
Bela isn’t good at comforting people when they need it. She’s not built that way. All she can do is tell Parker the truth, and try to get her to just smile again, and not feel like she’s wrong in any way. Parker is a better person than Bela could ever dream to be, and there’s just something about her that makes Bela want to protect her. To show her that she can be who she is in the world, and not have to worry about being wrong. She isn’t sure how, she’s not build to do that, but she wants to try. That’s all that she can do.
All that she does know, is that she never wants to see Parker that lost again. She’s pretty sure if she did, it would break her heart.
516 words
There is something about Parker that draws Bela to her.
Maybe it’s that she reminds her of pieces of herself, maybe it’s that she sees that Parker is what she could have been. If her choices had been different, if she had waited out her father, or spoke to the police, or did any number of things other than trusting a little girl with snake eyes who promised her a way out that was far too easy. She paid for it in the end. Maybe not in the way it was intended, thanks to the rift, but she paid for it everywhere else. She never had any friends, never had any family. All she had was the money in her bank account, and in the end what they say is true. Money can’t buy you the things that really matter.
In the end, it can’t even save your life.
That all doesn’t matter now. Here, she doesn’t have to be that person anymore. She can be a person who lives, who takes risks and doesn’t have a clock ticking down in the back of her mind. Here she has Parker-a relationship she can’t make heads or tails of most of the time due to rift interference, but there’s something about Parker that she recognizes. She sees her, and she thinks that that is what she could have been if she hadn’t sold her soul. If she had had a better way out. True, Parker was socially awkward, and a little naive, but there’s this confidence she has. She knows who she is. Even though it might not be the perfect person, she’s still secure in that aspect of herself. Bela’s never had that, no matter how hard she’s tries.
When she walks into the room, and sees all that confidence shattered, it breaks her heart. It makes her angry. She wonders who this person was, that they couldn’t see all that is there for Parker to offer, the parts of her that make her incredible. She thinks they either have to be incredibly vindictive or a moron, but she isn’t sure which. If it’s the former, she feels the strong urge to shoot them. If it’s the latter, she thinks they need to learn how to look at people.
Bela isn’t good at comforting people when they need it. She’s not built that way. All she can do is tell Parker the truth, and try to get her to just smile again, and not feel like she’s wrong in any way. Parker is a better person than Bela could ever dream to be, and there’s just something about her that makes Bela want to protect her. To show her that she can be who she is in the world, and not have to worry about being wrong. She isn’t sure how, she’s not build to do that, but she wants to try. That’s all that she can do.
All that she does know, is that she never wants to see Parker that lost again. She’s pretty sure if she did, it would break her heart.
516 words