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just under 3 weeks and i'll be graduating. i'll be off to the unknown. i'll be doing something i've been waiting so long to do. and that's to get out of here. i'll be on my own. each day that passes, i wait even more and more anxiously for the day i leave to arizona. i'm super excited. lately i've been feeling strength that i haven't had in such a long time. my happiness is coming back, and the true me is starting to shine again. i realized that no one but myself can make me as happy as i want to be...the people who do bring happiness to my life are considered icing on the cake. i also realized certain things and people that i thought i needed, are things that i really don't need. i don't need anything or anyone but myself.
get out of my way because i'm going somewhere. this is not where i want to be. you can say what you want, you can tell me i'm wrong. get off my back, stop saying that, because i'm not afraid of heights. i may never get where i'm going, but then again i might. you can't get inside my head, you can't be my safety net. here i am, standing on the edge. i know it's a long way down but you can't walk the wire for anybody else. i might hit the ground, but at least i'll have a story to tell. i got to find myself, yea i have got to find myself and put my pieces together. get out of my space and remember this face because it's not who i want to be. i don't want to be here. i want to be somewhere, nowhere, anywhere but here. if you don't believe in magic then watch me dissappear.
i never felt as empty as i did last night. i know within the past few months i've felt pretty alone and empty...but last night outweighed it all. i thought the crying was done...but the tears were just overflowing last night. sooo ummm fuck you. fuck you and all the blame you seem to put on me. fuck. you.