Sex toys and thai food
Bought mum her toy. I hate my friends.
You know me, I have no problem whatsoever buying toys at a sex shop. Been there, done that, named them all, almost got kicked out for playing with the whips.
But buying one for mum was.. bad. MahBitch™, her boi and the John-O came with after we stopped at Hurley's for a pint. Probably not the smartest thing I've ever done. First of all, there was no Dusty. I should have known that things weren't going to get better. Walked over to Sexe Cite. Started blushing when I walked up to the wall-o-dildoes. Didn't help that the three muskateers decided to make it worse by showing me all sorts of things and asking me if she would like them.
"How about this?" *holding a fist, a butt plug, a 12 inch dong*
"GAH!"
"Or this?" *holding an inflatable butt plug* "Mum and Harold can share!"
"GAHHHHH, I KEEL YOU ALL!"
Then the helpful lady walks up to help me. (Remember, I'm blushing like a fool)
"Hello... is this the first time you are buying a toy?"
"Oh, god no"
"Oh then why... *points at blushing me*?"
"Because this is for my mum"
"Oh, nice present"
"yeah, mother's day and all, yunno"
"What kind would she like?"
"Uhh.. I don't know... I don't want to know" *vomits a little in mouth*
"Well, this one is pretty regular"
"OK, fine... sounds good" *nodding*
"Ok let me just make sure it works"
*puts batteries in and places it in my hand*
"See, it works"
*brain explodies*
"Uh... thanks.. I'll take it, just put it by the cash"
"Do you want batteries... oh, I'll just give them to you... since it's for mother's day"
*shudders* "Ok, thanks." *tries to walk away*
"Do you need lube with that"
*cringes* "I don't... I don't know"
"I'll just add some... for mother's day and all" *winks*
I just about died. I'm not easily embarrassed. But that was almost enough to kill me.
Anyways, I gave it to her. I don't want to know if she loves it or not. Though the hug she gave me suggests that it was something that she's been wanting for a while.
As Em said, we put the "fun" in dysfunctional.
Spent some quality time with John the other night. Every once in a while, John and I will sit and talk. No other family around, just the two of us. He needs it... someone he can talk to that knows all the players, but can just listen to the bitching and not take it personally. The one thing that he mentioned that made me laugh was when he said that he isn't getting any. And that my brother in law in Trinidad says the same thing. And so did JF. Quote of the night from John was "The only one of you who's not yunno "normal", is the only one who's normal in bed. You must take after your mum. Maybe your dad didn't really like sex"
Since then, not much has been happening. Helping mum and Harold with the kitchen. Spent most of the time taking glue off the floor and putting stuff back though. Everything is almost done. They are putting the floor in today.
This weekend went out for Melin's b-day. Had yummy thai food with the girls and some of Mel's friends; Genevieve, Ross, Ali P, Alitra, and Ali A. Then a bunch of us headed over to Hurley's for a few pints. Had a great time, though there was no Dusty, again *cries*. Did see Sheila for a few seconds though, just long enough to say hi. Drove Melissa, and the drunk twins home. Got stopped at a roadblock, but the cop saw the two of them, one giggling and one passed out and just waved us through.
You know me, I have no problem whatsoever buying toys at a sex shop. Been there, done that, named them all, almost got kicked out for playing with the whips.
But buying one for mum was.. bad. MahBitch™, her boi and the John-O came with after we stopped at Hurley's for a pint. Probably not the smartest thing I've ever done. First of all, there was no Dusty. I should have known that things weren't going to get better. Walked over to Sexe Cite. Started blushing when I walked up to the wall-o-dildoes. Didn't help that the three muskateers decided to make it worse by showing me all sorts of things and asking me if she would like them.
"How about this?" *holding a fist, a butt plug, a 12 inch dong*
"GAH!"
"Or this?" *holding an inflatable butt plug* "Mum and Harold can share!"
"GAHHHHH, I KEEL YOU ALL!"
Then the helpful lady walks up to help me. (Remember, I'm blushing like a fool)
"Hello... is this the first time you are buying a toy?"
"Oh, god no"
"Oh then why... *points at blushing me*?"
"Because this is for my mum"
"Oh, nice present"
"yeah, mother's day and all, yunno"
"What kind would she like?"
"Uhh.. I don't know... I don't want to know" *vomits a little in mouth*
"Well, this one is pretty regular"
"OK, fine... sounds good" *nodding*
"Ok let me just make sure it works"
*puts batteries in and places it in my hand*
"See, it works"
*brain explodies*
"Uh... thanks.. I'll take it, just put it by the cash"
"Do you want batteries... oh, I'll just give them to you... since it's for mother's day"
*shudders* "Ok, thanks." *tries to walk away*
"Do you need lube with that"
*cringes* "I don't... I don't know"
"I'll just add some... for mother's day and all" *winks*
I just about died. I'm not easily embarrassed. But that was almost enough to kill me.
Anyways, I gave it to her. I don't want to know if she loves it or not. Though the hug she gave me suggests that it was something that she's been wanting for a while.
As Em said, we put the "fun" in dysfunctional.
Spent some quality time with John the other night. Every once in a while, John and I will sit and talk. No other family around, just the two of us. He needs it... someone he can talk to that knows all the players, but can just listen to the bitching and not take it personally. The one thing that he mentioned that made me laugh was when he said that he isn't getting any. And that my brother in law in Trinidad says the same thing. And so did JF. Quote of the night from John was "The only one of you who's not yunno "normal", is the only one who's normal in bed. You must take after your mum. Maybe your dad didn't really like sex"
Since then, not much has been happening. Helping mum and Harold with the kitchen. Spent most of the time taking glue off the floor and putting stuff back though. Everything is almost done. They are putting the floor in today.
This weekend went out for Melin's b-day. Had yummy thai food with the girls and some of Mel's friends; Genevieve, Ross, Ali P, Alitra, and Ali A. Then a bunch of us headed over to Hurley's for a few pints. Had a great time, though there was no Dusty, again *cries*. Did see Sheila for a few seconds though, just long enough to say hi. Drove Melissa, and the drunk twins home. Got stopped at a roadblock, but the cop saw the two of them, one giggling and one passed out and just waved us through.