Don't You Dare Believe It (4/9)
Title: Don't You Dare Believe It
Author: enimsaj_2
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: Not too sure, but i think it should be categorized as 'Hard R' or 'NC-17', just in case.
Warning: Some language, and a very brief rape scene.
Disclaimer: It's fictional.
Summary: Frank hates school. Will Gerard's arrival at Frank and Mikey's school make things better? or... worse?
Word Count: 1635
Author's Note: Once again, sorry for the delay. :/ i'm horrible at this. I was reading a wonderful Frerard fic called "The Dove Keeper." I highly recommend it. =D Also, if you haven't already, check out some of bdudee's fics. They're pretty incredible. I love them a lot =D
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
They walked back to the office in silence, both of them lost in thought. The tension was thick in the atmosphere around them, and neither of them felt like attempting to clear it away. A few times, Frank thought he saw Gerard glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't be sure.
Gerard left with his mom after only a few minutes in the office, and Frank was directed to a chair in the corner of the room.
"The principal will be with you in a moment," Alice the Secretary told him with a sneer.
Groaning, Frank sat down to wait. It was going to be a long day.
>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<
On the long car ride home, Gerard decided against speaking. He answered the questions his mom tossed at him and then proceeded to gaze out the window. He wasn't seeing the dull landscape pass by though, he was seeing Frank. The way his eyes glistened with tears after telling Gerard what happened. The way he looked at him as if he wasn't really human. The way he stared at him, like he couldn't believe Gerard was that close to him.
"He was scared," Gerard mused, "And rightfully so. But I'm going to fix this. I need to make it right. If only I could remember that night... Think, Gerard, fucking think..."
He scoured his memories for a while. As he delved deeper into his mind, he finally caught a spark.
Opening his eyes with a groan, he sat up slowly and rubbed his temples. His head pounded painfully, as if there were a dozen construction workers inside building the biggest migraine of the century.
"The fuck happened last night..." Gerard mumbled.
He was in his bed, fully clothed, on top of the covers. He swung his legs off the large bed and stood up. Pain seared through his hips and back and he fell back on the bed with a small gasp.
"What the fuck did I do last night?"
The last thing he could remember was Mikey leaving with their mom, and Frank... what about Frank? He had a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach. But that could also be because he was about to- "Oh, shit," he jumped up, ignoring the pain in his midsection and rushed over to the small trash can in the corner of his room. He made it just in time and, dropping to his knees, emptied the contents of his stomach into the can.
Gerard had never been this hungover in his life. Every part of his body hurt; some notably worse than others. He breathed shallowly and tried not to heave again. Once he was sure he was done puking, he straightened up and shambled to the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. He was taken aback at what he saw.
His usually pale skin looked wan and sickly, stretching tightly over sharp bones. His long black hair was at such a level of disarray that it went miles past the definition of unkempt and dirty. It was downright disgusting. His clothes were rumpled and disheveled, and even though it was December, the strong stench of sweat clung to the fibers. It wasn't just sweat though. There was something else, something he couldn't quite name. Whatever it was, it was a horrid smell, and it made Gerard feel like some vile and repulsive creature.
His very skin crawled as he looked at himself in the mirror. He frowned, peering at his sallow complexion with an analytical stare. Feeling thoroughly disenchanted, Gerard turned away from the mirror and plodded to the shower stall. Sticking an arm inside, he turned the clear plastic knobs to start a steady flow of water.
He noticed something on the tips of his fingers and brought his hand close to his face, examining his fingernails. To his bewilderment, his fingers were coated with an unfamiliar reddish-brown substance, most of which was located along the edges of his fingernails.
Against his better judgment, he placed a finger in his mouth and tasted the mysterious gunk. His eyes widened in shock and he gasped, pulling the digit from between his lips.
"What the... blood?"
He gazed at his hands and grimaced.
"What the fuck happened last night?!"
"Are you coming?"
His mother's voice brought him crashing back to reality. Gerard looked around and saw that they had arrived home already.
"Oh. Right. Yeah," he said, snapping off his seatbelt.
He got out of the car and trailed after his mom into the warm house.
"Don't wander too far, Gerard. I need you to help me with something in a little while," his mother implored.
"'Kay," Gerard replied.
His mind was on Frank again. Without thinking about where he was going, he found himself stepping onto the basement stairs. He followed them down, and as his feet touched concrete, he realized where he was.
He stared around the cave-like area and thought about Frank some more, calling up the image of his tear-stained face. Suddenly, another picture briefly flashed in his memory. He dragged it back, gazing over at a corner of the dark basement, and he was once again shoved into the past.
"Gerard, please..."
"Shut up! Don't you know the meanin' of those words? Shut up!"
As Frank cried softly, Gerard fumbled with his belt buckle. He didn't feel anything but anger. Pure, pulsating anger, throbbing through his veins and fueling his hate.
But why was he so enraged?
"Life is against me... The world hates me. My own brother hates me. The only person that doesn't truly hate me is Frank... But why? Why shouldn't he hate me? He's just one more person. He doesn't hate me. But I'll make him hate me. I'll make him wish he'd never met me, because that's the only thing I've ever been good at. Why stop now, when there's just one more person?" Gerard mumbled incoherently.
He spat on his hand and rubbed the saliva on his erection, keeping one arm wrapped firmly around Frank's waist. Frank was looking at him pleadingly, whimpering, "No... please... Gee, please no..." but Gerard ignored him. He shoved his cock into Frank, moaning at the tightness.
"Oh God, oh God, what did I do..." Gerard whispered.
He sank to the cold floor, sobs overtaking his body.
>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<
Frank walked along the dark street, reveling in the silence. Soft white snowflakes danced around him, lifting him out of the dismal mood he had been in all day.
He strolled across the parking lot of the the local shopping center. He knew it was closed; it was after midnight. Frank wasn't going to shop though. Walking to the back of the empty lot, he smiled and breathed a small "Yes."
Tall columns of bags of wood chips lined up in front of him. The store still hadn't put them away in hopes of someone needing the small chucks of wood in the middle of winter. They were covered in snow, but Frank wasn't worried about that. Climbing onto one of the smaller stacks for a boost up, he made his way to the tallest two. He got down on his back on top of them and faced the sky.
Thick, puffy clouds swirled across the dark sky. The snow had all but stopped, a light dusting of the stuff here and there. It was mesmerizing, and Frank let all bad thoughts he'd accumulated throughout the day drift away as he watched the clouds.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
A husky, unfamiliar voice tore him from his musings, and he sat bolt upright. Looking around, he found the source of the voice and narrowed his eyes.
"What do you want?"
Gerard shuffled his feet awkwardly and said, "I needed to find you."
"The hell for?" Frank shot at him.
Cringing, Gerard mumbled, "I wanted to talk to you."
Frank slid off the bags of mulch, jumping down in front of Gerard. As soon as his feet touched the ground he slipped on some hidden ice, and he lost his footing. Gerard's arms shot out and he grabbed onto Frank's waist, holding him up. As soon as Frank regained traction, Gerard let go and stepped back.
"Um... thanks," Frank said quietly.
He peered at Gerard. In the low lighting of the parking lot, he saw that Gerard's eyes were red-rimmed and slightly bloodshot. He didn't seem drunk though, so he cautiously asked, "Why did you need to talk to me?"
Gerard gazed sullenly at the ground and whispered, "I remembered."
Tears filled his eyes, spilling over and sliding down his rosy cheeks. Frank regarded him silently, not wanting to speak. After a few moments, Gerard continued, his voice trembling and breaking.
"I remembered what I did to you, and I'm so, so sorry... Frank, I'm sorry, please... Will you ever forgive me?" He looked up at Frank with wide eyes.
"I..." Frank cleared his throat, "I don't know, Gerard."
Gerard glanced around the empty parking lot, suddenly avoiding Frank's harsh gaze. His tears continued to drip down his face, and Frank found himself wiping them away with his own sleeve.
"I don't know if I can forgive you just yet," he reiterated in a soft voice.
His hard stare lightened, and Gerard found the courage to look at him again.
"It'll take time," Frank continued, "I can't forgive you just like that. You did a horrible thing to me that night, and it changed me. I'm not sure how long it'll take - maybe days, maybe years - but in time, I think I'll be able to let it go."
"Thank you," Gerard breathed.
Under the hazy yellow streetlights, the two young adults carefully embraced each other, taking the first step in many on the road to forgiveness.
Author: enimsaj_2
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: Not too sure, but i think it should be categorized as 'Hard R' or 'NC-17', just in case.
Warning: Some language, and a very brief rape scene.
Disclaimer: It's fictional.
Summary: Frank hates school. Will Gerard's arrival at Frank and Mikey's school make things better? or... worse?
Word Count: 1635
Author's Note: Once again, sorry for the delay. :/ i'm horrible at this. I was reading a wonderful Frerard fic called "The Dove Keeper." I highly recommend it. =D Also, if you haven't already, check out some of bdudee's fics. They're pretty incredible. I love them a lot =D
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
They walked back to the office in silence, both of them lost in thought. The tension was thick in the atmosphere around them, and neither of them felt like attempting to clear it away. A few times, Frank thought he saw Gerard glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't be sure.
Gerard left with his mom after only a few minutes in the office, and Frank was directed to a chair in the corner of the room.
"The principal will be with you in a moment," Alice the Secretary told him with a sneer.
Groaning, Frank sat down to wait. It was going to be a long day.
>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<
On the long car ride home, Gerard decided against speaking. He answered the questions his mom tossed at him and then proceeded to gaze out the window. He wasn't seeing the dull landscape pass by though, he was seeing Frank. The way his eyes glistened with tears after telling Gerard what happened. The way he looked at him as if he wasn't really human. The way he stared at him, like he couldn't believe Gerard was that close to him.
"He was scared," Gerard mused, "And rightfully so. But I'm going to fix this. I need to make it right. If only I could remember that night... Think, Gerard, fucking think..."
He scoured his memories for a while. As he delved deeper into his mind, he finally caught a spark.
Opening his eyes with a groan, he sat up slowly and rubbed his temples. His head pounded painfully, as if there were a dozen construction workers inside building the biggest migraine of the century.
"The fuck happened last night..." Gerard mumbled.
He was in his bed, fully clothed, on top of the covers. He swung his legs off the large bed and stood up. Pain seared through his hips and back and he fell back on the bed with a small gasp.
"What the fuck did I do last night?"
The last thing he could remember was Mikey leaving with their mom, and Frank... what about Frank? He had a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach. But that could also be because he was about to- "Oh, shit," he jumped up, ignoring the pain in his midsection and rushed over to the small trash can in the corner of his room. He made it just in time and, dropping to his knees, emptied the contents of his stomach into the can.
Gerard had never been this hungover in his life. Every part of his body hurt; some notably worse than others. He breathed shallowly and tried not to heave again. Once he was sure he was done puking, he straightened up and shambled to the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. He was taken aback at what he saw.
His usually pale skin looked wan and sickly, stretching tightly over sharp bones. His long black hair was at such a level of disarray that it went miles past the definition of unkempt and dirty. It was downright disgusting. His clothes were rumpled and disheveled, and even though it was December, the strong stench of sweat clung to the fibers. It wasn't just sweat though. There was something else, something he couldn't quite name. Whatever it was, it was a horrid smell, and it made Gerard feel like some vile and repulsive creature.
His very skin crawled as he looked at himself in the mirror. He frowned, peering at his sallow complexion with an analytical stare. Feeling thoroughly disenchanted, Gerard turned away from the mirror and plodded to the shower stall. Sticking an arm inside, he turned the clear plastic knobs to start a steady flow of water.
He noticed something on the tips of his fingers and brought his hand close to his face, examining his fingernails. To his bewilderment, his fingers were coated with an unfamiliar reddish-brown substance, most of which was located along the edges of his fingernails.
Against his better judgment, he placed a finger in his mouth and tasted the mysterious gunk. His eyes widened in shock and he gasped, pulling the digit from between his lips.
"What the... blood?"
He gazed at his hands and grimaced.
"What the fuck happened last night?!"
"Are you coming?"
His mother's voice brought him crashing back to reality. Gerard looked around and saw that they had arrived home already.
"Oh. Right. Yeah," he said, snapping off his seatbelt.
He got out of the car and trailed after his mom into the warm house.
"Don't wander too far, Gerard. I need you to help me with something in a little while," his mother implored.
"'Kay," Gerard replied.
His mind was on Frank again. Without thinking about where he was going, he found himself stepping onto the basement stairs. He followed them down, and as his feet touched concrete, he realized where he was.
He stared around the cave-like area and thought about Frank some more, calling up the image of his tear-stained face. Suddenly, another picture briefly flashed in his memory. He dragged it back, gazing over at a corner of the dark basement, and he was once again shoved into the past.
"Gerard, please..."
"Shut up! Don't you know the meanin' of those words? Shut up!"
As Frank cried softly, Gerard fumbled with his belt buckle. He didn't feel anything but anger. Pure, pulsating anger, throbbing through his veins and fueling his hate.
But why was he so enraged?
"Life is against me... The world hates me. My own brother hates me. The only person that doesn't truly hate me is Frank... But why? Why shouldn't he hate me? He's just one more person. He doesn't hate me. But I'll make him hate me. I'll make him wish he'd never met me, because that's the only thing I've ever been good at. Why stop now, when there's just one more person?" Gerard mumbled incoherently.
He spat on his hand and rubbed the saliva on his erection, keeping one arm wrapped firmly around Frank's waist. Frank was looking at him pleadingly, whimpering, "No... please... Gee, please no..." but Gerard ignored him. He shoved his cock into Frank, moaning at the tightness.
"Oh God, oh God, what did I do..." Gerard whispered.
He sank to the cold floor, sobs overtaking his body.
>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<->-<>-<->-<->-<->-<->-<
Frank walked along the dark street, reveling in the silence. Soft white snowflakes danced around him, lifting him out of the dismal mood he had been in all day.
He strolled across the parking lot of the the local shopping center. He knew it was closed; it was after midnight. Frank wasn't going to shop though. Walking to the back of the empty lot, he smiled and breathed a small "Yes."
Tall columns of bags of wood chips lined up in front of him. The store still hadn't put them away in hopes of someone needing the small chucks of wood in the middle of winter. They were covered in snow, but Frank wasn't worried about that. Climbing onto one of the smaller stacks for a boost up, he made his way to the tallest two. He got down on his back on top of them and faced the sky.
Thick, puffy clouds swirled across the dark sky. The snow had all but stopped, a light dusting of the stuff here and there. It was mesmerizing, and Frank let all bad thoughts he'd accumulated throughout the day drift away as he watched the clouds.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
A husky, unfamiliar voice tore him from his musings, and he sat bolt upright. Looking around, he found the source of the voice and narrowed his eyes.
"What do you want?"
Gerard shuffled his feet awkwardly and said, "I needed to find you."
"The hell for?" Frank shot at him.
Cringing, Gerard mumbled, "I wanted to talk to you."
Frank slid off the bags of mulch, jumping down in front of Gerard. As soon as his feet touched the ground he slipped on some hidden ice, and he lost his footing. Gerard's arms shot out and he grabbed onto Frank's waist, holding him up. As soon as Frank regained traction, Gerard let go and stepped back.
"Um... thanks," Frank said quietly.
He peered at Gerard. In the low lighting of the parking lot, he saw that Gerard's eyes were red-rimmed and slightly bloodshot. He didn't seem drunk though, so he cautiously asked, "Why did you need to talk to me?"
Gerard gazed sullenly at the ground and whispered, "I remembered."
Tears filled his eyes, spilling over and sliding down his rosy cheeks. Frank regarded him silently, not wanting to speak. After a few moments, Gerard continued, his voice trembling and breaking.
"I remembered what I did to you, and I'm so, so sorry... Frank, I'm sorry, please... Will you ever forgive me?" He looked up at Frank with wide eyes.
"I..." Frank cleared his throat, "I don't know, Gerard."
Gerard glanced around the empty parking lot, suddenly avoiding Frank's harsh gaze. His tears continued to drip down his face, and Frank found himself wiping them away with his own sleeve.
"I don't know if I can forgive you just yet," he reiterated in a soft voice.
His hard stare lightened, and Gerard found the courage to look at him again.
"It'll take time," Frank continued, "I can't forgive you just like that. You did a horrible thing to me that night, and it changed me. I'm not sure how long it'll take - maybe days, maybe years - but in time, I think I'll be able to let it go."
"Thank you," Gerard breathed.
Under the hazy yellow streetlights, the two young adults carefully embraced each other, taking the first step in many on the road to forgiveness.