mall parking lots on holidays....
i am recently very in to KVJ.
more so then usual?
because he seems to be the only sane person i know.
and reading cats cradel always makes me happier.
even though its about the end of the world?
kinda?
anyway.
I am having a hard time communicating, or reciving communication.
or expressing thoughts and feelings.
or inturperting others.
which i am very good at usually.
I am mostly finding it difficult with david.
I say things, and he takes them wrong.
and he says things, and i take them wrong.
it is very odd.
and hasn't really ever been the case before.
Basically I am very confused all the time, and freak out,
and say "you don't love me"
which is not true.
but at the times i say it i really seem to think it.
?
because i get so upset.
I am not sure.
I think that maybe it is the amount of stress.
he gets REALLY upset when i say things like
you don't love me
or you only love me because: ect....
Cause i should know better.
but when someone freaks out on you
all the time
for things that never bothered them before
it gets old real fast.
But we are spending thanksgiving together.
and he will graduate soon.
and i will only have 15 credit hours next semster.
(if i do everything right!)
Like today, he stopped by my work.
to say hello, and to tell me he would be late this evening.
which is fine.
but when i asked for a kiss goodbye, he freaked out cause i was at work.
and that is "unprofessional"
however.
no one was around except a four year old and young mother at the train table.
the mother was "hot"
so i take this as a insult.
because he has kissed me before at work, when no one is really around.
and he flipped out,
making me think that he is flipping out for other reasons.
which is me over thinking thigs.
so i feeeeeeeel soooooo frustrated all the timme.
and i think he does too.
so we only really feel comfortable with each other,
but instead of relaxing around one another,
it is more snappy, and annoyed?
is that normal?
its been 2 years.
so i think it is.
and the fact that we both work so much
have so much on our plates,
and he has an undesirable living situation,
we feel like we can only vent to each other.
and it is very upsetting.
i have to go.
more so then usual?
because he seems to be the only sane person i know.
and reading cats cradel always makes me happier.
even though its about the end of the world?
kinda?
anyway.
I am having a hard time communicating, or reciving communication.
or expressing thoughts and feelings.
or inturperting others.
which i am very good at usually.
I am mostly finding it difficult with david.
I say things, and he takes them wrong.
and he says things, and i take them wrong.
it is very odd.
and hasn't really ever been the case before.
Basically I am very confused all the time, and freak out,
and say "you don't love me"
which is not true.
but at the times i say it i really seem to think it.
?
because i get so upset.
I am not sure.
I think that maybe it is the amount of stress.
he gets REALLY upset when i say things like
you don't love me
or you only love me because: ect....
Cause i should know better.
but when someone freaks out on you
all the time
for things that never bothered them before
it gets old real fast.
But we are spending thanksgiving together.
and he will graduate soon.
and i will only have 15 credit hours next semster.
(if i do everything right!)
Like today, he stopped by my work.
to say hello, and to tell me he would be late this evening.
which is fine.
but when i asked for a kiss goodbye, he freaked out cause i was at work.
and that is "unprofessional"
however.
no one was around except a four year old and young mother at the train table.
the mother was "hot"
so i take this as a insult.
because he has kissed me before at work, when no one is really around.
and he flipped out,
making me think that he is flipping out for other reasons.
which is me over thinking thigs.
so i feeeeeeeel soooooo frustrated all the timme.
and i think he does too.
so we only really feel comfortable with each other,
but instead of relaxing around one another,
it is more snappy, and annoyed?
is that normal?
its been 2 years.
so i think it is.
and the fact that we both work so much
have so much on our plates,
and he has an undesirable living situation,
we feel like we can only vent to each other.
and it is very upsetting.
i have to go.