5. Restart (Casanova)
Title: Casanova
Pairings: Yoochun/Junsu
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: This chapter…NC-17 finally! xD
Summary: It didnt start out as love. It wasnt meant to be anything near it. Why does it seem to be heading that way?
A/N: here’s the smut I’ve been promising for the longest time. Also, long chapter is LONG, you have been WARNED.
5. Restart
“I’m just pulling up now….No, my house is not on fire-hyung! I’m telling you, Mickey isn’t like that. Trust me…what? So what if I haven’t known him long?” Junsu scowled, slightly offended that his older brother would be so quick to judge. “Hyung. It isn’t like this is some major deal for our company. If I choose to screw it up, it’s my life. Let me make my own mistakes.”
He hung up abruptly, anger still coursing fast and hot just beneath his skin. It made the collar of his suit suffocating, his distaste for the staid outfit yet another indication he wasn’t meant for this job. Why did he have to be even marginally efficient at something he obviously didn’t like? At least if he truly failed at anything corporate, then no one would feel obligated to include him in the family business.
Junsu groaned quietly in frustration, putting the car in park before laying his head on the steering wheel. For a moment he imagined what it would feel like to be free, to come and go as he pleased, to do what he wanted without having to impress anybody or do anything productive. What it’d be like to laze around without having to think about stocks and bonds, associates, merchandise, and how to come up with the next big thing.
He didn’t know how Junho dealt with it. How could his older brother cope with the constant pressure of always being on top? Was there a certain mindset Junsu didn’t know about? A mental frequency that he could tune into enabling him to live in the fast-paced world of commerce? They were essentially blessed with more or less the same genes. How was it that Junho liked this, but he didn’t?
A triangle of light cut across his dashboard and Junsu looked up, surprised. Mickey stood in the doorway wearing dark sweat and a matching hoodie, looking perfectly at home. His expression was carefully blank, with only a hint of concern to mar his expression that Junsu had to wonder just how long he’d been sitting in his car.
Junsu sighed, turning off the ignition and gathering his things. He had considerably more to carry than he did this morning before he left, and a bolt of resentment flashed through him at the sudden workload. He was off for a month, darn it, and the whole point of his vacation was to ready him for a lifetime of work. But Junho had looked a bit haggard when he asked and Junsu could never really say no to his hyung.
“Long day at work?” Mickey asked as Junsu climbed the porch steps.
“You have no idea.” He walked to the door sluggishly, transferring most of his stuff into one arm so that he could rub at the dull ache in his neck. He resisted for a moment, surprised when Mickey pulled at his briefcase and armful of folders.
“Here, let me help you with that.”
“Eh? You don’t need to-”
“Shush.” Mickey said, pushing Junsu quickly through the door and shutting it behind them. “I’m helping you. Just accept it and say thank you.” He disappeared to the living room and Junsu was left momentarily speechless by the kindness of his act, but figured that was for the best. He’d probably say something awkward anyway, if he did say anything at all. “Are you hungry? I ordered take out like you said I should, and got extra servings just in case you decided to eat at home.”
“No thanks,” Junsu replied, removing his shoes and putting them away. “I took a quick bite at the office.”
“How about something hot to drink then?” Mickey said as he walked back into the vestibule, arms empty. “To warm your stomach and help you sleep?”
“That sounds great actually.” Junsu moved to take off his jacket and just as quickly Mickey was there.
“All right then,” Mickey said, casually helping Junsu out of his suit jacket like he did it every day. “Go wash up and meet me in the kitchen. Unless you’re too tired and you want me to bring it up to your room?”
“U-uh…no. The kitchen’s fine. I’ll meet you there.”
“Okay.” Mickey said with a smile that made Junsu’s heart race. Mickey handed him his jacket and disappeared again, this time in the direction of the kitchen. Junsu caught himself staring and quickly averted his eyes.
This is odd, Junsu thought, hand over his racing heart as he ascended the stairs. His heart beat at a fast staccato, for reasons Junsu was too exhausted to entertain. He showered, enjoying the warmth of the water and taking longer than he should. He dressed quickly though, opting for only loose pajama bottoms and an old wife beater.
Taking the stairs two at a time (he was in no hurry, nope. Not. At. All.) he hurried to the kitchen, slowing down a bit when he got near, so as not to appear too eager (although eager for what, really, he didn’t know). When he walked in Yoochun was plating a couple of rice cakes and placing them on the table.
“I know you said you ate already, but a light snack goes real well with these.” Mickey gestured to the mug set on the table. Junsu came closer, peering at the contents.
“Milk?” he asked, curious how that was in anyway special.
“Milk, yes.” Mickey replied with a small smile that spelled mischief. “But with a little something extra.” Junsu cocked an eyebrow. “Go ahead, taste it. It won’t taste bad.”
Junsu took his word for it and tentatively held the cup. It was warm to the touch and when he brought it to his lips, the flavor wasn’t the first thing that hit him. Junsu took a sip, expecting something odd, but not expecting the rapid flush of heat at his first swallow. It spread from his stomach, outwards, warming him all the way to his fingertips. Then came the weird after taste.
“What is this?” Junsu asked curiously as he took a seat, face scrunched up in an expression trying to figure out the new flavor in his mouth.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I snooped around a bit today and found your wine cellar,” Mickey said, spearing a rice cake with his fork and handing it to Junsu. “I found some good liquor too. You said you were a light weight, so I only put a bit of brandy in your milk.”
“It’s good,” Junsu said, taking another sip and enjoying the warmth that spread after every swallow.
“How was work today?” Mickey asked tentatively after a short while. “Had me worried for a minute there when it took you a while to come out of your car.”
“Sorry ‘bout that,” Junsu said, and the words sounded slurred even to his own ears. “Long day would be an understatement. I think-I think I’m going to bed now.” He stood, swaying a little and Mickey had to grab onto an arm to keep him from toppling.
“Whoa there,” Mickey said, coming closer. “You really weren’t kidding when you said you were a loght weight, did you?”
“Nope.” A giggle escaped Junsu before he could stop. “Whoops. Sorry.”
“Right. Still apologizing. You don’t change much, do you? Come on,” he sighed. “Let me help you to your room.”
“Good…Good idea, Mickey.” Junsu said slowly, trying to get the words out as clearly as possible. “Mickey. Mickey? Mickey, right? Hmmm…is that really you’re real name, Mickey?”
They paused in the door way, and Junsu wasn’t even that drunk, just that his motor skills were dull and his mental one was never really that great to begin with. Mickey was looking at him with the most unreadable expression that he just had to say, “Oops, wrong thing to say. Sorry. Again. I keep saying that don’t I?”
“All right, I take that back,” Mickey said, more to himself than to anyone else. “You do change. The blocks from your mind to your mouth are completely gone now, aren’t they?”
Junsu nodded vigorously and the world spun. Leaning heavily against Mickey’s lanky frame as they climbed the stairs, he said, “Bingo. Do you like me less now?”
“No, Junsu, I don’t think liking you less is the problem right now.”
“Good. ‘Cause I like you-”
“-Oh, fuck,” Mickey let loose an expletive as he stumbled on a step. “Junsu, did you just say what I think you said?”
“Oh…Mickey said a bad word. Bad Mickey.”
The other man gaped for a moment, the expression on his face pained almost before casting a pleading look to the ceiling and sighing heavily. “All right Junsu, you really should get to bed. It makes me wonder if you’ll remember any of this in the morning.”
“I will! I will!” Junsu exclaimed as they reached the top step.
Mickey cocked an eyebrow. “Somehow I doubt that.” He walked them to the end of the hall, past his own to where Junsu’s door was. Faced with it, he hesitated before coming any closer. He’d never been in Junsu’s room, a privilege denied him his first night here, and he was somewhat nervous to enter it now. Junsu was with him, yes, but inebriated, no matter what the other man said. It felt almost like bending a forbidden rule.
“My room is very big, you know,” Junsu said as he grasped the handle himself. To his credit, he only missed the knob once. “I don’t like sleeping here alone. Me and hyung used to share it when we were kids, but then we got too big and he said he wanted his own room. Now it’s lonely. Mickey, want to see?”
God did Mickey want to see.
Junsu pulled him along anyway, like he had a choice in the first place.
“Look, look, the bed is big, see?” Junsu pointed to the large, king sized bed. It was indeed large. “But it’s too big. Want to share? We can share!”
“Junsu-what?” Mickey asked, the most dumbfounded expression on his face.
“Oh, but I guess you don’t want to share anymore,” Junsu said, expression sober even as his words seemed light. He plopped onto the bed, making Mickey bounce onto the mattress next to him. “It’s because you like me, right? But I said I didn’t like you? But I do like you!”
“Junsu. Junsu, stop. Please.” Mickey resisted as Junsu pulled him farther into the middle of the bed. “You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“No, no, I do know what I’m saying,” Junsu said, eyes bright and a little too earnest. “Look, look, feel.” He grabbed Mickey’s hand and pulled it over to his chest, right over his heart. “See, you make it beat fast. How do you do that, Mickey? Why? Why?”
“Junsu…” Mickey said, softly, his expression indecipherable. He tried to pull his hand away, even if yes, he could feel Junsu’s heart beating quite fast. “We’ll talk about this in the morning, all right?” Junsu still wouldn’t let go and Mickey had to almost pry himself away.
“Oh, you’re going,” Junsu said as Mickey slid off the big bed. “You’re mad now, aren’t you? Did I say something you didn’t like? I said something you didn’t like, didn’t I?”
“No, Junsu, not that I didn’t like it.”
“Eh? Then what? Then what?”
“We’ll…talk about it in the morning, okay?” And without another word, Mickey fled the room.
--
Yoochun shut the door behind him and leaned against the wood. In the relative safety of his own room, he leaned against the wood and tried to calm the erratic beating of his heart. Right. Damn. Had that been a confession? A drunken one, yes, but it’s probably as close as he’ll get, right?
“Junsu, Junsu, Junsu,” he muttered, thumping his head against the door. “How do you do this to me?” He groaned at the obvious tenting in his sweat pants, disgusted by his lack of control. Funny, he didn’t seem to have much when one Kim Junsu was concerned.
Getting the man drunk had not been his intention. A bit of seduction, yes, but not getting him drunk. He’d planned for their little evening snack to go on longer than it did, hopefully ending with an erection and not just his own. But how was he supposed to know that Junsu’d get all drunk and tipsy on a bit of milk and brandy? And how was he supposed to know the man’s mouth was more lethal than his body? God, the things he said!
It affected more than just his cock, and if the odd jumps in his chest were any indication, it affected his heart too. Yoochun couldn’t quite explain the connection he’d felt when his hand touched Junsu’s chest. He could feel the rapid beating just beneath his palm and Yoochun didn’t really want explore those feelings right now. Junsu had upped the ante with his confession and now Yoochun had more than just his body at stake.
It’s safe to say that Yoochun got absolutely zero sleep that night.
Morning came too soon, the sun’s bright rays slipping through the heavy drapes. Cracking an eye open, Yoochun glared at nothing in particular and decided his mood would be better after a cup of coffee. Maybe three. Or he could just take the whole pot for himself since Junsu didn’t drink any anyway.
Yoochun dragged himself away from the bed with difficulty, heading to the bathroom. On his way there, he strained his ears for sounds indicating Junsu was also awake and was glad when he heard none. Foregoing the shower for now, Yoochun washed his face and brushed his teeth before heading into the kitchen.
Surprised, he found Junsu already there, leaning against the counter and nursing what looked like a cup of tea. “Good morning,” was all Yoochun could think to say before haltingly making his way to the coffeemaker. Junsu mumbled something to that, but Yoochun couldn’t quite hear over the erratic beating of his heart. “How are you this morning? Does your head hurt?”
“Fine, actually,” Junsu answered, not meeting his eyes. “It hurts a little but I’m fine.” An awkward silence ensued, one that Yoochun tried to ignore by keeping his hands busy. But making coffee only took so long and soon, Yoochun was back to trying to say words that just wouldn’t come out.
“I’ve got some aspirin if you want-”
“Listen, about last night-”
“Ah…” Junsu said, a dark blush stealing over his cheeks. “You go first.”
“Um…No, I was just saying…I’ve got some aspirin for that headache if it’s bothering you.” Yoochun watched Junsu, unable to hide a blush of his own. “What were you saying?”
“Last night…”
“So you do remember.” Yoochun reached for his mug, a blue one with a bunny print that he’d been using since he arrived, not knowing when he’d started to consider it his own. “I wasn’t trying to get you drunk, I swear. I just thought you looked like you could use some alcohol.”
“No, I know. I know,” Junsu replied. “That wasn’t what I meant. What I meant was…some of the things I said…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Yoochun tried to say nonchalantly. “I get it. You were drunk-which was my fault by the way-and didn’t mean any of it.”
“Well…well no, that’s not exactly true. I did mean it-some of it-I think. I just…” his face twisted into an expression of confusion, “…I just don’t remember all of what I said.”
Yoochun remained silent after that last one, glad that the coffee had finished. He poured himself a cup, letting the silence stretch as he took the time to inhale the aroma of wonderful, wonderful caffeine. “I think it would be better if you don’t remember then. You might not like what you remember.”
“I think I remember the worst of it,” Junsu said, fighting a fiery blush.
“Do you?” Yoochun asked skeptically, brow raised but trying to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat.
“Y-yeah,” Junsu stammered lightly. “I think-I think I said I liked you.”
“You think?”
“No. No, I’m pretty sure I did,” Junsu said with a shake of his head.
“Hm.” Yoochun took a moment to blow on his coffee, trying to mask his dire need to breathe. “Well…What do you want me to do with that information? I mean, it’s pretty obvious I don’t hate you. So…what now?”
“Um…I-I…I don’t really know.” Junsu put down his cup, the most confused look marring the handsome planes of his face. “I just-I guess I just thought you should know.”
“Junsu,” Yoochun began, setting down his coffee to look the other man straight in the eye. “I don’t think you realize what you’re trying to say here. You’re saying you like me, but just a few days ago you told me you didn’t like men. Make me understand, Junsu, because if you think I’m just going to stand here and accept that half-assed explanation, you’re wrong.”
“I’m sorry,” Junsu said immediately, the words tripping out of his mouth. “I really don’t know! All I know is…you’re nice. And I feel comfortable around you. You make me laugh.”
“Junsu, Junsu, Junsu,” Yoochun said with a shake of his head. “Everyone can be nice, the same way you can feel comfortable around any number of people, and a lot of things can make you laugh. But I don’t think you really know what you’re saying when you say you like me.”
“I don’t! I really don’t!” Junsu exclaimed, clearly frustrated, but at what or who, Yoochun didn’t know. “But…you’re nice. I feel-I feel nice around you. There’s no pressure; you don’t expect anything from me. You like the things I like, and you don’t think all of what I say is stupid. You cook for me, wait for me, do things for me and-God, I know it’s part of your job but fuck-” Junsu gasped suddenly and put a hand over his mouth, eyes wide.
“What? What’s wrong, Junsu? What?” Yoochun asked, walking closer in concern.
“I-I…I said too much. A-and I said a bad word.” Junsu whispered.
Yoochun burst out laughing.
“What’s wrong with saying bad words?” Yoochun asked, eyes shining, the previous troubled look gone.
“Well they’re…They’re bad.”
“Good point,” Yoochun said with a final chuckle. He sobered just as quickly, getting back to the issue on hand. “You’re still not sure, are you?” Junsu shook his head. “Well then, let me help you find out.” Yoochun slid closer, closing the small distance between them until he stood in front of Junsu less than a foot away.
“What are you doing?”
“You wanted to find out, right? This is me helping you.” He pinned Junsu against the counter with his gaze, letting his eyes roam over Junsu’s physique appreciatively. He stepped even closer, gaze lingering over Junsu’s crotch and making sure Junsu knew. “Does this still feel nice?” he asked when there was only a few scant inches between them.
Junsu leaned away, the counter digging into his back. With his heart pounding at Yoochun’s sudden proximity, he said, “M-mickey-”
“Answer…” Yoochun braced his hands against the counter, on either side of Junsu’s hips. “…the question.” They were so close, barely an inch between them. He heard the moment Junsu’s breath caught and Yoochun resisted the urge to take those lips against his own. Would they be as soft as he remembered? As soft as they were just a few, torturous days ago?
“I-I don’t think I dislike…it.”
“Do you…” He didn’t know why he whispered. Maybe he’s afraid that any louder would pull Junsu out of whatever trance he put himself in and then it’d all be over. Done even before he could-“…want to be sure then?” Yoochun watched as a nervous tongue peeked out of Junsu’s mouth to lick at dry lips and he moved even before Junsu could answer.
He molded himself against Junsu’s body, pressing him into the counter with an arm around his waist. He hauled Junsu against him, reveling in what he’d denied himself for days. Junsu stiffened at the initial contact, the urge to shove Yoochun away apparent in the tension of his limbs. But Yoochun had a good hold on his body and held him tight. “Kiss me back first, before you push me away,” he said locking his eye with Junsu’s, “Then tell me if this is what you meant by nice.”
It was nothing like the first time. The first time was Yoochun being nice, sweet, tentative because it was all new. But this time…this time he kissed Junsu with everything he’d held back. The want, the heat, the need to touch, to feel. Yoochun wanted Junsu to feel it all.
He licked at the tight seam of Junsu’s lips, angling his head sharply when Junsu wouldn’t let him in. But this was Yoochun’s game and he knew all the moves-Junsu never stood a chance. Yoochun rolled his hips against Junsu’s crotch; whether to moan or in surprise, Junsu opened his mouth. Yoochun swept in gleefully, unable to suppress a groan as his tongue sank into Junsu’s wet heat. His hands itched to feel skin, the lure of Junsu’s heat just underneath his shirt was almost irresistible. Almost.
As quickly as it started, the kiss ended.
Yoochun pulled away, not wanting to but making himself do it. “I hope that’s what you mean when you say you like me. Because that’s what I mean.”
--
“Junsu.” Yoochun called out tentatively as he knocked on the bedroom door. “Hey. Come on, talk to me, man. Junsu.” He sighed, slumping against the door. Never had the after-shocks of a kiss been so disastrous.
Immediately after the words had left his mouth, Junsu had fled the kitchen, locking himself into his room. Yoochun had done much the same, barricading himself in his own room, swamped by embarrassment. It was the second time he’d clearly stated his feelings, only to be rejected yet again. He’d heard Junsu pass by his door, presumably to get lunch. Only when he was sure Junsu had gone back to his room did Yoochun dare go out.
Night had fallen now and Yoochun thought it was about time they made amends. If things really couldn’t be worked out after what he’d done, Yoochun had made up his mind to leave. Even if he didn’t really want to. But he had to get Junsu to talk to him first.
“Junsu, open up. Please?” he tapped the door half heartedly, all hope that Junsu would listen gone. “Look, I’m sorry, all right? I shouldn’t have kissed you. Especially after you made it clear my first day here. I mean, that’s what you said before. Then you said you liked me last night, but you were drunk and it’s not like you were aware of anything you said. And this morning! You said it again and you weren’t drunk. And I thought-oof!”
Yoochun staggered as the door gave, catching himself with a hand on the frame. “What, Mickey? What did you think?” Junsu asked, eyes turbulent as he held the door open. His clothes-just sweats and another wife beater-were rumpled but he smelled fresh from the shower. Just the sight of him made Yoochun’s blood spike.
He didn’t need the erratic pounding of his heart to tell him that there was no going back after this.
“First of all, it’s Yoochun. Park Yoochun. I figure after giving you what must have been the most awkward experience of your life, you should at least know my real name.” Yoochun straightened, quelling the urge to step across the threshold of Junsu’s bedroom. He’d only been in it once-last night-but already he knew he’d feel at home here. Because this was Junsu’s room.
It scared him how well he accepted that thought.
“But more than that, I just really want to say I’m sorry,” Yoochun said, unable to meet Junsu’s eyes, afraid of what he’d see there. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. Not only was it wrong after you specifically told me you weren’t into guys, but it was also unprofessional. I took advantage of you in your own home and that’s truly unforgivable. Which is why…” he sighed, his heart hurt just thinking about saying the words, never mind actually saying them. “Which is why I’ve made the decision to leave.”
“What?” Junsu asked, not quite able to believe his ears.
“I’m going,” Yoochun repeated. “This was my first home stay and I’ve come to realize that home stays aren’t my thing. I can’t seem to distance myself or comply with the requests of my client. I’ll ask Jaejoong hyung to refund you your money.”
“Don’t.” Junsu interjected. “Don’t do that just yet.”
“Why?” Yoochun asked. “Please don’t ask me to stay again Junsu. Staying here is too much for me. I don’t think I can handle it.”
“Well, since we’re being honest with each other, I think this’d be the perfect time to confess that I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
“What do you mean?” Yoochun said, an odd sense of foreboding making his hairs stand on end.
“I lied,” Junsu admitted, his grip on the door knob so tight his knuckles turned white. “When I said I wasn’t gay. Okay, maybe not lied exactly, but that wasn’t the whole truth either.”
“So you do like men?”
Junsu let out a deep breath, eyes shut tight. He pushed away from the door and walked to his bed, sitting heavily, slumped forward with elbows at his knees. “That’s the thing. I thought I didn’t anymore.”
“What do you mean ‘anymore’?” Yoochun asked, unable to resist and finally following Junsu into his room. He stood a few feet away from the bed, not knowing what to do now that he was actually inside.
“When I was younger, I experimented with a few things, not all of them good or legal-it’s how I met Jaejoong hyung. He saved me from making a really bad decision one time,” Junsu said, smiling a little at a memory. “He gave me a really good talking too and we’ve been friends since. It was around the same time my father realized he had to finally put his foot down and curb my rebellious tendencies. With my father’s resolve and Jaejoong hyung’s words, I reformed but…it seems there are some things that will always stay with you.”
Junsu lifted his head to pierce Yoochun with a stare and Yoochun didn’t dare look away. “I’d been toying with the possibility I liked guys for a while by then, but it was cut short. Life’s gotten in the way since, and the thought hasn’t occurred to me in years until…”
“Until what?” Yoochun prompted, both anxious and excited to hear the end of what Junsu wanted to say.
“Recently, my father announced his retirement.” Junsu stated without inflection. “He’s leaving the company to us and that means even more work, of the office, of our family business. Except, after all these years, I’ve come to realize that I don’t like any of it.”
“What does that have to do with why you hired me?”
“It’s not like I can say no to my father or let hyung do it all. So I took a month leave to let myself live as I want before I have to go back and spend the rest of my life being miserable. I wasn’t counting you.”
“What about me?”
“I’m not very good with people; I don’t know anyone well enough without my family’s influence to feel comfortable about inviting them here. But I did trust Jaejoong hyung’s judgment.” Junsu looked at Yoochun, eyes pleading for him to understand. “And honestly, it didn’t have to be you; it could have been anyone. I just wanted someone who wasn’t directly related to my family, who wouldn’t mind spending a few weeks doing nothing in particular.”
“That just happened to be me?”
Junsu nodded. “Yes, you. I thought I had everything figured out: get someone, do what we want for a month. But it seems I miscalculated a few things.”
“Like what?” Yoochun asked, almost a whisper. He was nearly afraid of the answer.
“My sexuality, for one,” Junsu said. “Then you. Do you know you make me speechless just by looking at me?”
I think I know the feeling, Yoochun thought, but Junsu wasn’t finished. “So what I’m really trying to say is I don’t want you to go Mi-it’s Yoochun, right?” Yoochun nodded, incapable of expressing just how giddy hearing his name, his real name, roll off Junsu’s tongue. “I-I…I want you.”
Yoochun rushed to Junsu, towering over him, dark eyes searching. “Do you know exactly what it is you’re telling me, Junsu?”
Junsu nodded. “I wasn’t sure before. I am now.” Hands came to Yoochun’s hips and Junsu used the hold as leverage to pull himself to standing. They stood face to face, so close that even air seemed non-existent. “I want you.”
Junsu closed the mere centimeters separating them, kissing Yoochun full on the mouth. Yoochun was left stunned for a moment, unable to comprehend the fact that Junsu was kissing him. Once did though, there really was no turning back.
He kissed Junsu the way he wanted: hard, messy, and without finesse. He swept his tongue into Junsu’s mouth and took, leaving them both panting with every swipe. His hands stroked Junsu’s sides, memorizing the feel before letting them move on to the swell of Junsu’s ass, giving in to urge to squeeze. He grabbed Junsu roughly by the ass and let him feel just how happy he was to stay.
Junsu groaned and Yoochun leaned into him until the backs of his knees hit the bed. He lowered them onto the mattress, reluctantly letting go of Junsu’s ass stretch them out slowly on the big bed. The clothes were swiftly dealt with, disappearing quickly. Both of them naked now, Yoochun took in the body laid out beneath him and resolved to worship it well.
Yoochun was surprisingly attentive, noting the smallest change in Junsu’s expression and using them as guides. He started at Junsu’s mouth, exploring its depths with slow sweeps of his tongue that had Junsu groaning softly in frustration. The other man had the gall to smirk half way into the kiss only nipping the bottom lip for a split second before mouthing Junsu’s jaw, following the jaw line with tiny strokes of his tongue.
Junsu could do nothing in retaliation, his wrists secured tightly by Yoochun’s capable grip, the other man straddling him by the waist. Junsu rolled his hips forward, trying to increase the friction between them, and felt triumphant when he heard Yoochun’s sharp intake of breath. If he was going to suffer, Yoochun might as well too.
It was a good plan, though, even if Junsu’s triumph was short lived. For Junsu, all thought ceased to exist when Yoochun dipped his head behind the delicate shell of an ear and began teething the sensitive skin there. His breathing quickened further when his new lover gently bit his way down his neck, expertly finding an erratic pulse. Junsu bit back a moan when Yoochun took the tender flesh into his mouth, sucking on it, rolling it around with his tongue. From there, he continued to make his way down ward, paying so much attention to Junsu’s shoulders and collar bone that Junsu was hard pressed to hold back what he was sure were wanton whimpers.
Yoochun scattered light, butterfly kisses on his chest, sinful mouth avoiding pert nipples aching to be touched. His hair though, tickled the puckered nubs, the light graze maddening. Junsu was sure that the moment Yoochun touched them, it’d be all over, the encounter ending even before it had begun. He was thankful the other man had chosen to ignore them for time being, until Yoochun’s mouth left his chest and was once again by his ear. This time, to whisper words so dark, they promised inconceivable pleasure should they be obeyed.
“Do you want me to touch you, Junsu-yah?” Yoochun asked, his voice taking on such a low timbre it was barely above a growl. Why was he asking these things? Wasn’t the answer already obvious? Junsu canted his hips forward in response, a frustrated groan echoing afterwards. “Okay,” the smile was apparent in his voice. “But only if you promise me one thing.” Right now, Junsu would have promised him the world if it would get that sinful mouth back on his body. He nodded furiously instead. “I’m going to let you go,” Yoochun said, flexing his fingers on Junsu’s wrist. “But you can’t touch yourself. If you do, I won’t touch you.”
It was weak as far as threats went, but it was one Junsu wasn’t willing to risk. He gripped the sheets to show he would comply. “Good choice, Junsu-yah.” The words had barely passed his lips before Yoochun removed his hold on Junsu’s wrists and immediately latched his mouth onto an aching nipple. Junsu let out a keening moan at the sudden attention his nipple was receiving. He made the same sound again when, one of Yoochun’s hands, now free, rubbed a neglected nub.
As Yoochun’s tongue swirled and sucked, nipping the tender flesh, his hand busied itself pulling and twisting. The contrast of slightly calloused fingers with the smooth warmth of a heated tongue was enough to send the blood rushing to his cock. If Junsu was hard then, he was even harder now.
He struggled to regain his equilibrium, not wanting things to end so quickly. He felt, rather than saw, Yoochun’s hard cock where it touched his stomach. Junsu was afraid if he opened his eyes and saw it jutting proudly, just ready to take him, he’d lose all control and everything would be over. So he shut his eyes tightly, fisting the sheets as hard as he could, willing himself not to come so early. That was considerably harder to do than think, especially when Yoochun had abandoned his nipples and was once again making his way lower to where Junsu really wanted his attention.
The right hand reached him first, the initial contact so anticipated yet so unexpected that it had Junsu writhing on the bed, trying to suppress another groan. Yoochun steadied him, a smug, wholly satisfied grin on his face. Junsu couldn’t call him on it, too intent on the hand fondling his balls, rolling the constricting flesh between nimble fingers. Yoochun made a tiny sound in the back of his throat and Junsu just had to prop himself on his elbows and steal a glance.
Yoochun was watching him with a scorching gaze, his eyes no longer a warm brown but a black, black abyss promising dark delights. He was kneeling between Junsu’s thighs; one hand playing with Junsu’s balls like a child would play jacks, the other stroking his own length. The sight of Yoochun touching himself was more arousing than anything Junsu had ever seen on a screen.
Junsu found himself enthralled with the subtle play of expressions on Yoochun’s face. The way his brow would furrow slightly with every sensation from a downward stroke to the way his mouth would tighten to hold back tiny groan with a simple twist of the wrist. Only the thought of shortening their intensely pleasurable encounter kept Junsu from spilling himself all over the sheets.
And then there was no more thinking when Yoochun lowered his mouth and Junsu was suddenly engulfed. He felt it, the heat simmering in his gut begin to boil over. His vision was nothing but spots and blur, breath caught in a noiseless gasp, fisting the sheets with whitened knuckles, waiting, waiting, waiting for that blessed release.
But none came.
Yoochun’s tongue laved on the head of his cock, swiping away what would have been a major orgasm. The hand that had so skillfully played with his sac now wrapped tight fingers around the base of Junsu’s erection with the same skill. Junsu felt like sobbing and thanking him at the same time. He couldn’t help the frustrated whine that escaped him.
“Please-let me…I need to-
”
“Come?” Yoochun interrupted, a pause in devouring the whole of Junsu’s cock with his mouth. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he said, kissing the head with eyes closed and tonguing the slit like it was the best thing he’d ever put in his mouth. Junsu surged forward, trying to feel more of the burning heaven he knew lay in Yoochun’s mouth. Yoochun would have none of it, one hand firmly wrapped around Junsu’s cock, the other holding down Junsu’s hips.
“So impatient,” Yoochun tsk’d, his voice finally giving away some of the strain he was feeling. Kim Junsu was a hard man to resist-completely innocent and oblivious to his own magnetic sexuality. Okay, maybe not completely innocent, what with the way he was canting his hips forward with abandon, wantonly seeking release. A release, Yoochun smugly thought, that only he could give.
His ‘employer’ had been nothing but a tease during the short while Yoochun had been here, and Yoochun had yet return the favor in kind. He laughed inwardly at the thoughts of flaunting around the house, shamelessly flashing patches of skin and moving about in a sensual manner that he’d become accustomed to when with clients. Junsu would call him on it and Yoochun would have loads of fun blatantly denying any thoughts of seduction, all the while leering at Junsu and speaking in a voice that had many a client falling to their knees.
It was slightly degrading to think about though, especially when Junsu had made it clear from the start that all he wanted was the companionship of a real live human being before being relegated to sitting in front of a computer screen for the next three decades. But what could he do? He hadn’t been allowed to touch and now that he was, he’d be damned if every touch, every stroke, and every lick of the tongue and pump of his fingers (as well as other things) wouldn’t bring the mind-blowing pleasure he was sure Junsu had yet to experience in his twenty-two years.
He was determined to give and take as much satisfaction as he could. There was no knowing if there would be a repeat performance anytime soon-or ever for that matter. Yoochun would drag this out for as long as he could because it was the only one he was sure he’d have.
A low whine from an arched neck was emitted when Yoochun switched hands. “We need lube.” Yoochun muttered through gritted teeth. Junsu was unraveling him faster than he wanted.
“Bed side drawer,” Junsu gasped breathily when Yoochun swiped at his slit. Yoochun was intrigued of course, but that was a question for a later time. It took a little longer, but he flipped the lube’s cap with one hand and spread a liberal amount on his fingers, all the while blowing on the tip of Junsu’s erection. He took a moment to appreciate his handy work, proud of the way the head was red and swollen, weeping like a faucet ready to burst.
“Shh…” he quieted the man laid before him, a little sorry for causing the broken whimpers escaping through a sweet mouth. “Tell me what you want, baby,” the slightly crude endearment slipped through his lips, his words vibrating down the length of Junsu’s cock, making him buck.
“Touch me-I want…I need-please. Just-oh.” The last part came out in a gasp, a lubed finger circling his puckered hole, the trail leaving a slow burn compared to the fire raging within him. Junsu had never felt like this before, this urgent, desperate need enveloping him till there was nothing else but him and the man kneeling between his legs, causing the most pleasurable torture. A tentative finger slipped inside, slowly, slowly, working through a ring of muscle. Junsu thought-though he didn’t understand how he could still think-it would have been painful if it weren’t for Yoochun’s other hand, no longer holding his cock hostage, but stroking it firmly.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Yoochun murmured, leaving a smattering of kisses on the insides if his thighs. “I know it hurts. Just tell me when it’s too much.” Junsu nodded, willing himself to relax, knowing pleasure was just above the pain, sparks of it flaring around the edges of discomfort when Yoochun moved. He nodded again when Yoochun asked if he was ready for a little more, becoming accustomed to the feel of Yoochun moving inside him.
It’s that thought that makes the breach of a second finger easier, knowing it was Yoochun, so of course he was in good hands. It’s surprisingly easier now, and he didn’t have to try so hard to get past the ache because the heat came to him, coiling in his belly when Yoochun scissored his fingers, crooking the ends and he finds it-what, Junsu doesn’t really know, but he’s sure it’s a good thing-and it isn’t long before he’s shamelessly thrusting his hips in time to the other man’s fingers. A breathy chuckle uttered low somewhere between his thighs before a hand on his abdomen slows him.
“Slowly, baby, slowly,” Yoochun said. “I don’t want to hurt you.” If Junsu had been thinking properly and hadn’t been lost in a haze of mind-numbing lust, he would have thought they’d meant something. As it was, he only caught the last vestiges of an unreadable look before Yoochun once again downed his cock and slipped in a third finger. Nothing else mattered after that.
“Do you want me Susu?” Yoochun hummed around the hardness in his mouth. “Do you want me inside you?” The words were garbled and barely coherent, Yoochun’s own desire beginning to unravel the skilled man. Junsu could only plead a whimper in acquiesce, wriggling this way and that, wishing Yoochun would touch him there again. Yoochun complied, prodding the sensitive bump, just enough to turn the man laid before him into a quivering mess, but not enough to push him over the edge.
“Mickey. Oh, Mickey-” Junsu whined when it wasn’t enough. “More. Please. Please. Please. I want-”
It was the please that did it. That unabashed pleading that signaled he couldn’t take it anymore. Good. Yoochun didn’t think he’d last much longer either. He’d never been so aroused in his life. Just watching the look on Junsu’s face when he rubbed him just the right way would have been more than enough to undo him, had he been less experienced.
“God, I want you.” Junsu didn’t have the time-nor was he lucid enough-to contemplate the many implications of the last three words. He was left with a slightly bereft feeling when Yoochun took away his fingers, mewling at the loss.
“Turn around for me baby,” came the soft command. “I’ll make you feel good.” Junsu could only follow, rolling himself onto his stomach, moaning in aggravation when his cock brushed against the sheets, the brief friction nowhere near enough. Trembling, he held himself up on his hands in knees, the position primitive and so arousing at the same time. With his head tucked onto his chest, he could see Yoochun’s own erection jutting proudly behind him, the sight alone putting spots in his vision.
There’s the sound of foil tearing before there’s fingers in him, stroking, hard and fast. It was different and no longer gentle, the forceful rhythm something he hadn’t known he craved. Yoochun flexed his pumping fingers, preparing Junsu as best he could, all the while showering the younger man’s back and tailbone with fluttering kisses. The fingers didn’t stop and Junsu was only vaguely aware of faintly trembling hands guiding his own to grab onto the headboard.
It changed their angle, bringing Yoochun’s fingers that much closer to that sweet spot inside him, begging for attention. Junsu gasped, seizing the wood beneath his hands in a death grip to stave off his impending orgasm. He knew where this would lead to and he was determined to experience everything. He didn’t want just Yoochun’s fingers. He wanted Yoochun’s cock, hot and pulsing to come inside him.
Junsu bit his lips, chewed on the insides of his cheeks, anything. He wouldn’t get what he wanted if he came right now. But it was hard. So hard. More lube and Yoochun had removed his fingers and planted hands on his hips instead, the older man rubbing his cock against the cleft of Junsu’s ass. The feel of it, the promise of what was about to come sent Junsu shuddering, renewing his tight grasp on the headboard.
“Are you ready for me, Junsu-yah?” Yoochun asked, prodding the bent man’s entrance, aching to just shove himself inside but reigning in his control for fear of causing pain.
“Yes. Yes-please,” Junsu nearly sobbed. He was so hard it almost hurt.
Yoochun did as he was asked because he simply couldn’t put it off any longer. Experience and control he had, but he could feel them pulled taut, ready to snap. He forced himself to slow, especially when he heard Junsu emit a slow hiss, knowing no amount of fingers, lube, and preparation could prepare an obvious virgin for the real thing. It was a little painful, that’s for sure. Yoochun thought his cock would explode from the searing heat that surrounded him, never before had he wanted to pound someone into a mattress so badly. But he couldn’t do that. Not to Junsu-never to Junsu-and especially not during his first time.
Buried to the hilt, he stilled, giving the smaller man time to adjust. He could feel Junsu stretching around him, accommodating his size, the tiny contraction of muscles fanning the heat building in his groin. “Tell me when you’re ready, baby.” He massaged a tensed back with the pads of his thumbs, bending over to follow the circular motions with his mouth. It changed the angle and Yoochun had to shut his eyes tight at the pleasure shooting up his cock, unable to suppress a shallow thrust. He figured he must have done something right because Junsu was suddenly moving.
“Move Mickey!”
Yoochun didn’t need to be told twice. He moved at a barely controlled tempo, trying not to go too fast but failing epically. He knew he had to pace himself, more for Junsu’s sake than for his because he didn’t want the man’s first encounter to be painful now or in the morning after. Junsu didn’t seem to share his opinion, however.
“Fuck, Mickey.” Never had a cuss word sounded so hot. Because he’d been living with the man for days now, he knew for a fact that Junsu never cussed. But knowing he’d caused such a dirty word to leave Junsu’s mouth only spurned him on. His already flimsy hold on his control rapidly deteriorated when Junsu continued, groaning, “Mickey, harder. Fuck. I’m going to-”
Yoochun grasped Junsu’s neglected cock, stroking it hard and fast, even as his hips lost their controlled rhythm. He grabbed the base again, just as he felt Junsu’s muscles contract around him, never missing an abandoned thrust. Gripping the swollen member, he placed sloppy kisses on the back of Junsu’s neck, sucking on the flesh, biting it, leaving marks, neither of them aware of causing pain or receiving it, too far gone in their spiraling lust to care.
“Mickey…! What are you-? Fuck. Let me-” Junsu pushed back, grinding himself backward onto Yoochun’s cock, hoping to loosen the other man’s grip.
Yoochun held firm, clinging to the last vestiges of his control to give in to his deepest, darkest desire. “Say it,” he panted through gritted teeth, Junsu’s canting hips doing most of the work for them now. If he moved, he’d lose it before getting what he really wanted. “Say it, Junsu-yah. I won’t let you come until you say it.”
“Say what?!” came the strangled question, desperate need lacing the frustrated words.
“My name.”
“Mickey!” was the instant reply. Yoochun shook his head, digging nails into shoving hips to slow them. So close. They were both so close.
“No. The other one.” The real one.
There was absolutely no hesitation, as if the name had been clinging to the roof of his mouth, only waiting for permission to be said.
“Yoochun,” Junsu breathed.
One word and said man lost it. There was no more rhythm. No more control. Just him and the knowledge that he was taking Junsu, having him, in the most intimate way possible.
One stroke. Two. Three. And then he could hear Junsu above him, “Shit. Shit. Shit-” before he was spilling all over Yoochun’s hand and onto the sheets.
It was wrong. Completely irrational and out of character-but all he could think of was mine as he watched Junsu’s arched form, so beautiful in his release. It was his last thought before driving into Junsu one last time and giving into his own mind-blowing orgasm.
Hearts, stars, and horseshoes-fucking unicorns and a dozen rainbows or two. That’s what it felt like. No roller coasters-not even flying. Nothing could compare to the feel of Junsu’s body shuddering beneath him, splayed and tightening around his cock. It’s more than just an orgasm, like how this is more than just sex for him. It’s ironic, stupid, and makes complete and total sense. Three words come to mind (but his lips were sealed).
They lay tangled and boneless around each other for what seemed like eternity. Yoochun recovered first, knowing he had to clean them both up and position them away from the wet spot on the bed lest they wake up sticky and gross. He grabbed the box of tissues on the nightstand. Junsu had fallen asleep-possibly even blacked out-thankfully just inches away from the sticky mess on the bed.
Yoochun cleaned him off first, careful not to disturb the spent man, followed by his own body. He took a towel he found somewhere and laid it over the wet spot before climbing into the bed and wrapping himself around Junsu’s prone form. Maybe it was fatigue, or just a habit in sleep, but the other man allowed himself to be maneuvered into Yoochun’s embrace, wrapping his arms around a thin waist and settling his head on Yoochun’s chest.
It took longer for Yoochun to fall asleep, fighting off exhaustion until the very last second. He wanted to keep this moment, tuck it away so he could take it out when he left. Not if. Never if. No, because he knew he was leaving. They’d agreed on one month. Four weeks. Thirty days. Seven hundred and twenty hours. Forty-three thousand two hundred seconds.
Yoochun knew-he’d counted.
And he’d make it last for as long as he could-sleep be damned.
A/N: here’s a little secret: I wrote the smut first and then looked for a plot to center around that very scene. I found one courtesy of crazyoverbishie over at yoosu_ywh :D
Anyway, it might be a while before this one’s updated again. I’ve got a bunch of other fics I’ve agreed to do, as well as a bunch of exams coming and going in the next few weeks. This installment is incredibly long though, so BE HAPPY xP
Comments are ♥
Pairings: Yoochun/Junsu
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: This chapter…NC-17 finally! xD
Summary: It didnt start out as love. It wasnt meant to be anything near it. Why does it seem to be heading that way?
A/N: here’s the smut I’ve been promising for the longest time. Also, long chapter is LONG, you have been WARNED.
5. Restart
“I’m just pulling up now….No, my house is not on fire-hyung! I’m telling you, Mickey isn’t like that. Trust me…what? So what if I haven’t known him long?” Junsu scowled, slightly offended that his older brother would be so quick to judge. “Hyung. It isn’t like this is some major deal for our company. If I choose to screw it up, it’s my life. Let me make my own mistakes.”
He hung up abruptly, anger still coursing fast and hot just beneath his skin. It made the collar of his suit suffocating, his distaste for the staid outfit yet another indication he wasn’t meant for this job. Why did he have to be even marginally efficient at something he obviously didn’t like? At least if he truly failed at anything corporate, then no one would feel obligated to include him in the family business.
Junsu groaned quietly in frustration, putting the car in park before laying his head on the steering wheel. For a moment he imagined what it would feel like to be free, to come and go as he pleased, to do what he wanted without having to impress anybody or do anything productive. What it’d be like to laze around without having to think about stocks and bonds, associates, merchandise, and how to come up with the next big thing.
He didn’t know how Junho dealt with it. How could his older brother cope with the constant pressure of always being on top? Was there a certain mindset Junsu didn’t know about? A mental frequency that he could tune into enabling him to live in the fast-paced world of commerce? They were essentially blessed with more or less the same genes. How was it that Junho liked this, but he didn’t?
A triangle of light cut across his dashboard and Junsu looked up, surprised. Mickey stood in the doorway wearing dark sweat and a matching hoodie, looking perfectly at home. His expression was carefully blank, with only a hint of concern to mar his expression that Junsu had to wonder just how long he’d been sitting in his car.
Junsu sighed, turning off the ignition and gathering his things. He had considerably more to carry than he did this morning before he left, and a bolt of resentment flashed through him at the sudden workload. He was off for a month, darn it, and the whole point of his vacation was to ready him for a lifetime of work. But Junho had looked a bit haggard when he asked and Junsu could never really say no to his hyung.
“Long day at work?” Mickey asked as Junsu climbed the porch steps.
“You have no idea.” He walked to the door sluggishly, transferring most of his stuff into one arm so that he could rub at the dull ache in his neck. He resisted for a moment, surprised when Mickey pulled at his briefcase and armful of folders.
“Here, let me help you with that.”
“Eh? You don’t need to-”
“Shush.” Mickey said, pushing Junsu quickly through the door and shutting it behind them. “I’m helping you. Just accept it and say thank you.” He disappeared to the living room and Junsu was left momentarily speechless by the kindness of his act, but figured that was for the best. He’d probably say something awkward anyway, if he did say anything at all. “Are you hungry? I ordered take out like you said I should, and got extra servings just in case you decided to eat at home.”
“No thanks,” Junsu replied, removing his shoes and putting them away. “I took a quick bite at the office.”
“How about something hot to drink then?” Mickey said as he walked back into the vestibule, arms empty. “To warm your stomach and help you sleep?”
“That sounds great actually.” Junsu moved to take off his jacket and just as quickly Mickey was there.
“All right then,” Mickey said, casually helping Junsu out of his suit jacket like he did it every day. “Go wash up and meet me in the kitchen. Unless you’re too tired and you want me to bring it up to your room?”
“U-uh…no. The kitchen’s fine. I’ll meet you there.”
“Okay.” Mickey said with a smile that made Junsu’s heart race. Mickey handed him his jacket and disappeared again, this time in the direction of the kitchen. Junsu caught himself staring and quickly averted his eyes.
This is odd, Junsu thought, hand over his racing heart as he ascended the stairs. His heart beat at a fast staccato, for reasons Junsu was too exhausted to entertain. He showered, enjoying the warmth of the water and taking longer than he should. He dressed quickly though, opting for only loose pajama bottoms and an old wife beater.
Taking the stairs two at a time (he was in no hurry, nope. Not. At. All.) he hurried to the kitchen, slowing down a bit when he got near, so as not to appear too eager (although eager for what, really, he didn’t know). When he walked in Yoochun was plating a couple of rice cakes and placing them on the table.
“I know you said you ate already, but a light snack goes real well with these.” Mickey gestured to the mug set on the table. Junsu came closer, peering at the contents.
“Milk?” he asked, curious how that was in anyway special.
“Milk, yes.” Mickey replied with a small smile that spelled mischief. “But with a little something extra.” Junsu cocked an eyebrow. “Go ahead, taste it. It won’t taste bad.”
Junsu took his word for it and tentatively held the cup. It was warm to the touch and when he brought it to his lips, the flavor wasn’t the first thing that hit him. Junsu took a sip, expecting something odd, but not expecting the rapid flush of heat at his first swallow. It spread from his stomach, outwards, warming him all the way to his fingertips. Then came the weird after taste.
“What is this?” Junsu asked curiously as he took a seat, face scrunched up in an expression trying to figure out the new flavor in his mouth.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I snooped around a bit today and found your wine cellar,” Mickey said, spearing a rice cake with his fork and handing it to Junsu. “I found some good liquor too. You said you were a light weight, so I only put a bit of brandy in your milk.”
“It’s good,” Junsu said, taking another sip and enjoying the warmth that spread after every swallow.
“How was work today?” Mickey asked tentatively after a short while. “Had me worried for a minute there when it took you a while to come out of your car.”
“Sorry ‘bout that,” Junsu said, and the words sounded slurred even to his own ears. “Long day would be an understatement. I think-I think I’m going to bed now.” He stood, swaying a little and Mickey had to grab onto an arm to keep him from toppling.
“Whoa there,” Mickey said, coming closer. “You really weren’t kidding when you said you were a loght weight, did you?”
“Nope.” A giggle escaped Junsu before he could stop. “Whoops. Sorry.”
“Right. Still apologizing. You don’t change much, do you? Come on,” he sighed. “Let me help you to your room.”
“Good…Good idea, Mickey.” Junsu said slowly, trying to get the words out as clearly as possible. “Mickey. Mickey? Mickey, right? Hmmm…is that really you’re real name, Mickey?”
They paused in the door way, and Junsu wasn’t even that drunk, just that his motor skills were dull and his mental one was never really that great to begin with. Mickey was looking at him with the most unreadable expression that he just had to say, “Oops, wrong thing to say. Sorry. Again. I keep saying that don’t I?”
“All right, I take that back,” Mickey said, more to himself than to anyone else. “You do change. The blocks from your mind to your mouth are completely gone now, aren’t they?”
Junsu nodded vigorously and the world spun. Leaning heavily against Mickey’s lanky frame as they climbed the stairs, he said, “Bingo. Do you like me less now?”
“No, Junsu, I don’t think liking you less is the problem right now.”
“Good. ‘Cause I like you-”
“-Oh, fuck,” Mickey let loose an expletive as he stumbled on a step. “Junsu, did you just say what I think you said?”
“Oh…Mickey said a bad word. Bad Mickey.”
The other man gaped for a moment, the expression on his face pained almost before casting a pleading look to the ceiling and sighing heavily. “All right Junsu, you really should get to bed. It makes me wonder if you’ll remember any of this in the morning.”
“I will! I will!” Junsu exclaimed as they reached the top step.
Mickey cocked an eyebrow. “Somehow I doubt that.” He walked them to the end of the hall, past his own to where Junsu’s door was. Faced with it, he hesitated before coming any closer. He’d never been in Junsu’s room, a privilege denied him his first night here, and he was somewhat nervous to enter it now. Junsu was with him, yes, but inebriated, no matter what the other man said. It felt almost like bending a forbidden rule.
“My room is very big, you know,” Junsu said as he grasped the handle himself. To his credit, he only missed the knob once. “I don’t like sleeping here alone. Me and hyung used to share it when we were kids, but then we got too big and he said he wanted his own room. Now it’s lonely. Mickey, want to see?”
God did Mickey want to see.
Junsu pulled him along anyway, like he had a choice in the first place.
“Look, look, the bed is big, see?” Junsu pointed to the large, king sized bed. It was indeed large. “But it’s too big. Want to share? We can share!”
“Junsu-what?” Mickey asked, the most dumbfounded expression on his face.
“Oh, but I guess you don’t want to share anymore,” Junsu said, expression sober even as his words seemed light. He plopped onto the bed, making Mickey bounce onto the mattress next to him. “It’s because you like me, right? But I said I didn’t like you? But I do like you!”
“Junsu. Junsu, stop. Please.” Mickey resisted as Junsu pulled him farther into the middle of the bed. “You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“No, no, I do know what I’m saying,” Junsu said, eyes bright and a little too earnest. “Look, look, feel.” He grabbed Mickey’s hand and pulled it over to his chest, right over his heart. “See, you make it beat fast. How do you do that, Mickey? Why? Why?”
“Junsu…” Mickey said, softly, his expression indecipherable. He tried to pull his hand away, even if yes, he could feel Junsu’s heart beating quite fast. “We’ll talk about this in the morning, all right?” Junsu still wouldn’t let go and Mickey had to almost pry himself away.
“Oh, you’re going,” Junsu said as Mickey slid off the big bed. “You’re mad now, aren’t you? Did I say something you didn’t like? I said something you didn’t like, didn’t I?”
“No, Junsu, not that I didn’t like it.”
“Eh? Then what? Then what?”
“We’ll…talk about it in the morning, okay?” And without another word, Mickey fled the room.
--
Yoochun shut the door behind him and leaned against the wood. In the relative safety of his own room, he leaned against the wood and tried to calm the erratic beating of his heart. Right. Damn. Had that been a confession? A drunken one, yes, but it’s probably as close as he’ll get, right?
“Junsu, Junsu, Junsu,” he muttered, thumping his head against the door. “How do you do this to me?” He groaned at the obvious tenting in his sweat pants, disgusted by his lack of control. Funny, he didn’t seem to have much when one Kim Junsu was concerned.
Getting the man drunk had not been his intention. A bit of seduction, yes, but not getting him drunk. He’d planned for their little evening snack to go on longer than it did, hopefully ending with an erection and not just his own. But how was he supposed to know that Junsu’d get all drunk and tipsy on a bit of milk and brandy? And how was he supposed to know the man’s mouth was more lethal than his body? God, the things he said!
It affected more than just his cock, and if the odd jumps in his chest were any indication, it affected his heart too. Yoochun couldn’t quite explain the connection he’d felt when his hand touched Junsu’s chest. He could feel the rapid beating just beneath his palm and Yoochun didn’t really want explore those feelings right now. Junsu had upped the ante with his confession and now Yoochun had more than just his body at stake.
It’s safe to say that Yoochun got absolutely zero sleep that night.
Morning came too soon, the sun’s bright rays slipping through the heavy drapes. Cracking an eye open, Yoochun glared at nothing in particular and decided his mood would be better after a cup of coffee. Maybe three. Or he could just take the whole pot for himself since Junsu didn’t drink any anyway.
Yoochun dragged himself away from the bed with difficulty, heading to the bathroom. On his way there, he strained his ears for sounds indicating Junsu was also awake and was glad when he heard none. Foregoing the shower for now, Yoochun washed his face and brushed his teeth before heading into the kitchen.
Surprised, he found Junsu already there, leaning against the counter and nursing what looked like a cup of tea. “Good morning,” was all Yoochun could think to say before haltingly making his way to the coffeemaker. Junsu mumbled something to that, but Yoochun couldn’t quite hear over the erratic beating of his heart. “How are you this morning? Does your head hurt?”
“Fine, actually,” Junsu answered, not meeting his eyes. “It hurts a little but I’m fine.” An awkward silence ensued, one that Yoochun tried to ignore by keeping his hands busy. But making coffee only took so long and soon, Yoochun was back to trying to say words that just wouldn’t come out.
“I’ve got some aspirin if you want-”
“Listen, about last night-”
“Ah…” Junsu said, a dark blush stealing over his cheeks. “You go first.”
“Um…No, I was just saying…I’ve got some aspirin for that headache if it’s bothering you.” Yoochun watched Junsu, unable to hide a blush of his own. “What were you saying?”
“Last night…”
“So you do remember.” Yoochun reached for his mug, a blue one with a bunny print that he’d been using since he arrived, not knowing when he’d started to consider it his own. “I wasn’t trying to get you drunk, I swear. I just thought you looked like you could use some alcohol.”
“No, I know. I know,” Junsu replied. “That wasn’t what I meant. What I meant was…some of the things I said…”
“Don’t worry about it,” Yoochun tried to say nonchalantly. “I get it. You were drunk-which was my fault by the way-and didn’t mean any of it.”
“Well…well no, that’s not exactly true. I did mean it-some of it-I think. I just…” his face twisted into an expression of confusion, “…I just don’t remember all of what I said.”
Yoochun remained silent after that last one, glad that the coffee had finished. He poured himself a cup, letting the silence stretch as he took the time to inhale the aroma of wonderful, wonderful caffeine. “I think it would be better if you don’t remember then. You might not like what you remember.”
“I think I remember the worst of it,” Junsu said, fighting a fiery blush.
“Do you?” Yoochun asked skeptically, brow raised but trying to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat.
“Y-yeah,” Junsu stammered lightly. “I think-I think I said I liked you.”
“You think?”
“No. No, I’m pretty sure I did,” Junsu said with a shake of his head.
“Hm.” Yoochun took a moment to blow on his coffee, trying to mask his dire need to breathe. “Well…What do you want me to do with that information? I mean, it’s pretty obvious I don’t hate you. So…what now?”
“Um…I-I…I don’t really know.” Junsu put down his cup, the most confused look marring the handsome planes of his face. “I just-I guess I just thought you should know.”
“Junsu,” Yoochun began, setting down his coffee to look the other man straight in the eye. “I don’t think you realize what you’re trying to say here. You’re saying you like me, but just a few days ago you told me you didn’t like men. Make me understand, Junsu, because if you think I’m just going to stand here and accept that half-assed explanation, you’re wrong.”
“I’m sorry,” Junsu said immediately, the words tripping out of his mouth. “I really don’t know! All I know is…you’re nice. And I feel comfortable around you. You make me laugh.”
“Junsu, Junsu, Junsu,” Yoochun said with a shake of his head. “Everyone can be nice, the same way you can feel comfortable around any number of people, and a lot of things can make you laugh. But I don’t think you really know what you’re saying when you say you like me.”
“I don’t! I really don’t!” Junsu exclaimed, clearly frustrated, but at what or who, Yoochun didn’t know. “But…you’re nice. I feel-I feel nice around you. There’s no pressure; you don’t expect anything from me. You like the things I like, and you don’t think all of what I say is stupid. You cook for me, wait for me, do things for me and-God, I know it’s part of your job but fuck-” Junsu gasped suddenly and put a hand over his mouth, eyes wide.
“What? What’s wrong, Junsu? What?” Yoochun asked, walking closer in concern.
“I-I…I said too much. A-and I said a bad word.” Junsu whispered.
Yoochun burst out laughing.
“What’s wrong with saying bad words?” Yoochun asked, eyes shining, the previous troubled look gone.
“Well they’re…They’re bad.”
“Good point,” Yoochun said with a final chuckle. He sobered just as quickly, getting back to the issue on hand. “You’re still not sure, are you?” Junsu shook his head. “Well then, let me help you find out.” Yoochun slid closer, closing the small distance between them until he stood in front of Junsu less than a foot away.
“What are you doing?”
“You wanted to find out, right? This is me helping you.” He pinned Junsu against the counter with his gaze, letting his eyes roam over Junsu’s physique appreciatively. He stepped even closer, gaze lingering over Junsu’s crotch and making sure Junsu knew. “Does this still feel nice?” he asked when there was only a few scant inches between them.
Junsu leaned away, the counter digging into his back. With his heart pounding at Yoochun’s sudden proximity, he said, “M-mickey-”
“Answer…” Yoochun braced his hands against the counter, on either side of Junsu’s hips. “…the question.” They were so close, barely an inch between them. He heard the moment Junsu’s breath caught and Yoochun resisted the urge to take those lips against his own. Would they be as soft as he remembered? As soft as they were just a few, torturous days ago?
“I-I don’t think I dislike…it.”
“Do you…” He didn’t know why he whispered. Maybe he’s afraid that any louder would pull Junsu out of whatever trance he put himself in and then it’d all be over. Done even before he could-“…want to be sure then?” Yoochun watched as a nervous tongue peeked out of Junsu’s mouth to lick at dry lips and he moved even before Junsu could answer.
He molded himself against Junsu’s body, pressing him into the counter with an arm around his waist. He hauled Junsu against him, reveling in what he’d denied himself for days. Junsu stiffened at the initial contact, the urge to shove Yoochun away apparent in the tension of his limbs. But Yoochun had a good hold on his body and held him tight. “Kiss me back first, before you push me away,” he said locking his eye with Junsu’s, “Then tell me if this is what you meant by nice.”
It was nothing like the first time. The first time was Yoochun being nice, sweet, tentative because it was all new. But this time…this time he kissed Junsu with everything he’d held back. The want, the heat, the need to touch, to feel. Yoochun wanted Junsu to feel it all.
He licked at the tight seam of Junsu’s lips, angling his head sharply when Junsu wouldn’t let him in. But this was Yoochun’s game and he knew all the moves-Junsu never stood a chance. Yoochun rolled his hips against Junsu’s crotch; whether to moan or in surprise, Junsu opened his mouth. Yoochun swept in gleefully, unable to suppress a groan as his tongue sank into Junsu’s wet heat. His hands itched to feel skin, the lure of Junsu’s heat just underneath his shirt was almost irresistible. Almost.
As quickly as it started, the kiss ended.
Yoochun pulled away, not wanting to but making himself do it. “I hope that’s what you mean when you say you like me. Because that’s what I mean.”
--
“Junsu.” Yoochun called out tentatively as he knocked on the bedroom door. “Hey. Come on, talk to me, man. Junsu.” He sighed, slumping against the door. Never had the after-shocks of a kiss been so disastrous.
Immediately after the words had left his mouth, Junsu had fled the kitchen, locking himself into his room. Yoochun had done much the same, barricading himself in his own room, swamped by embarrassment. It was the second time he’d clearly stated his feelings, only to be rejected yet again. He’d heard Junsu pass by his door, presumably to get lunch. Only when he was sure Junsu had gone back to his room did Yoochun dare go out.
Night had fallen now and Yoochun thought it was about time they made amends. If things really couldn’t be worked out after what he’d done, Yoochun had made up his mind to leave. Even if he didn’t really want to. But he had to get Junsu to talk to him first.
“Junsu, open up. Please?” he tapped the door half heartedly, all hope that Junsu would listen gone. “Look, I’m sorry, all right? I shouldn’t have kissed you. Especially after you made it clear my first day here. I mean, that’s what you said before. Then you said you liked me last night, but you were drunk and it’s not like you were aware of anything you said. And this morning! You said it again and you weren’t drunk. And I thought-oof!”
Yoochun staggered as the door gave, catching himself with a hand on the frame. “What, Mickey? What did you think?” Junsu asked, eyes turbulent as he held the door open. His clothes-just sweats and another wife beater-were rumpled but he smelled fresh from the shower. Just the sight of him made Yoochun’s blood spike.
He didn’t need the erratic pounding of his heart to tell him that there was no going back after this.
“First of all, it’s Yoochun. Park Yoochun. I figure after giving you what must have been the most awkward experience of your life, you should at least know my real name.” Yoochun straightened, quelling the urge to step across the threshold of Junsu’s bedroom. He’d only been in it once-last night-but already he knew he’d feel at home here. Because this was Junsu’s room.
It scared him how well he accepted that thought.
“But more than that, I just really want to say I’m sorry,” Yoochun said, unable to meet Junsu’s eyes, afraid of what he’d see there. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. Not only was it wrong after you specifically told me you weren’t into guys, but it was also unprofessional. I took advantage of you in your own home and that’s truly unforgivable. Which is why…” he sighed, his heart hurt just thinking about saying the words, never mind actually saying them. “Which is why I’ve made the decision to leave.”
“What?” Junsu asked, not quite able to believe his ears.
“I’m going,” Yoochun repeated. “This was my first home stay and I’ve come to realize that home stays aren’t my thing. I can’t seem to distance myself or comply with the requests of my client. I’ll ask Jaejoong hyung to refund you your money.”
“Don’t.” Junsu interjected. “Don’t do that just yet.”
“Why?” Yoochun asked. “Please don’t ask me to stay again Junsu. Staying here is too much for me. I don’t think I can handle it.”
“Well, since we’re being honest with each other, I think this’d be the perfect time to confess that I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
“What do you mean?” Yoochun said, an odd sense of foreboding making his hairs stand on end.
“I lied,” Junsu admitted, his grip on the door knob so tight his knuckles turned white. “When I said I wasn’t gay. Okay, maybe not lied exactly, but that wasn’t the whole truth either.”
“So you do like men?”
Junsu let out a deep breath, eyes shut tight. He pushed away from the door and walked to his bed, sitting heavily, slumped forward with elbows at his knees. “That’s the thing. I thought I didn’t anymore.”
“What do you mean ‘anymore’?” Yoochun asked, unable to resist and finally following Junsu into his room. He stood a few feet away from the bed, not knowing what to do now that he was actually inside.
“When I was younger, I experimented with a few things, not all of them good or legal-it’s how I met Jaejoong hyung. He saved me from making a really bad decision one time,” Junsu said, smiling a little at a memory. “He gave me a really good talking too and we’ve been friends since. It was around the same time my father realized he had to finally put his foot down and curb my rebellious tendencies. With my father’s resolve and Jaejoong hyung’s words, I reformed but…it seems there are some things that will always stay with you.”
Junsu lifted his head to pierce Yoochun with a stare and Yoochun didn’t dare look away. “I’d been toying with the possibility I liked guys for a while by then, but it was cut short. Life’s gotten in the way since, and the thought hasn’t occurred to me in years until…”
“Until what?” Yoochun prompted, both anxious and excited to hear the end of what Junsu wanted to say.
“Recently, my father announced his retirement.” Junsu stated without inflection. “He’s leaving the company to us and that means even more work, of the office, of our family business. Except, after all these years, I’ve come to realize that I don’t like any of it.”
“What does that have to do with why you hired me?”
“It’s not like I can say no to my father or let hyung do it all. So I took a month leave to let myself live as I want before I have to go back and spend the rest of my life being miserable. I wasn’t counting you.”
“What about me?”
“I’m not very good with people; I don’t know anyone well enough without my family’s influence to feel comfortable about inviting them here. But I did trust Jaejoong hyung’s judgment.” Junsu looked at Yoochun, eyes pleading for him to understand. “And honestly, it didn’t have to be you; it could have been anyone. I just wanted someone who wasn’t directly related to my family, who wouldn’t mind spending a few weeks doing nothing in particular.”
“That just happened to be me?”
Junsu nodded. “Yes, you. I thought I had everything figured out: get someone, do what we want for a month. But it seems I miscalculated a few things.”
“Like what?” Yoochun asked, almost a whisper. He was nearly afraid of the answer.
“My sexuality, for one,” Junsu said. “Then you. Do you know you make me speechless just by looking at me?”
I think I know the feeling, Yoochun thought, but Junsu wasn’t finished. “So what I’m really trying to say is I don’t want you to go Mi-it’s Yoochun, right?” Yoochun nodded, incapable of expressing just how giddy hearing his name, his real name, roll off Junsu’s tongue. “I-I…I want you.”
Yoochun rushed to Junsu, towering over him, dark eyes searching. “Do you know exactly what it is you’re telling me, Junsu?”
Junsu nodded. “I wasn’t sure before. I am now.” Hands came to Yoochun’s hips and Junsu used the hold as leverage to pull himself to standing. They stood face to face, so close that even air seemed non-existent. “I want you.”
Junsu closed the mere centimeters separating them, kissing Yoochun full on the mouth. Yoochun was left stunned for a moment, unable to comprehend the fact that Junsu was kissing him. Once did though, there really was no turning back.
He kissed Junsu the way he wanted: hard, messy, and without finesse. He swept his tongue into Junsu’s mouth and took, leaving them both panting with every swipe. His hands stroked Junsu’s sides, memorizing the feel before letting them move on to the swell of Junsu’s ass, giving in to urge to squeeze. He grabbed Junsu roughly by the ass and let him feel just how happy he was to stay.
Junsu groaned and Yoochun leaned into him until the backs of his knees hit the bed. He lowered them onto the mattress, reluctantly letting go of Junsu’s ass stretch them out slowly on the big bed. The clothes were swiftly dealt with, disappearing quickly. Both of them naked now, Yoochun took in the body laid out beneath him and resolved to worship it well.
Yoochun was surprisingly attentive, noting the smallest change in Junsu’s expression and using them as guides. He started at Junsu’s mouth, exploring its depths with slow sweeps of his tongue that had Junsu groaning softly in frustration. The other man had the gall to smirk half way into the kiss only nipping the bottom lip for a split second before mouthing Junsu’s jaw, following the jaw line with tiny strokes of his tongue.
Junsu could do nothing in retaliation, his wrists secured tightly by Yoochun’s capable grip, the other man straddling him by the waist. Junsu rolled his hips forward, trying to increase the friction between them, and felt triumphant when he heard Yoochun’s sharp intake of breath. If he was going to suffer, Yoochun might as well too.
It was a good plan, though, even if Junsu’s triumph was short lived. For Junsu, all thought ceased to exist when Yoochun dipped his head behind the delicate shell of an ear and began teething the sensitive skin there. His breathing quickened further when his new lover gently bit his way down his neck, expertly finding an erratic pulse. Junsu bit back a moan when Yoochun took the tender flesh into his mouth, sucking on it, rolling it around with his tongue. From there, he continued to make his way down ward, paying so much attention to Junsu’s shoulders and collar bone that Junsu was hard pressed to hold back what he was sure were wanton whimpers.
Yoochun scattered light, butterfly kisses on his chest, sinful mouth avoiding pert nipples aching to be touched. His hair though, tickled the puckered nubs, the light graze maddening. Junsu was sure that the moment Yoochun touched them, it’d be all over, the encounter ending even before it had begun. He was thankful the other man had chosen to ignore them for time being, until Yoochun’s mouth left his chest and was once again by his ear. This time, to whisper words so dark, they promised inconceivable pleasure should they be obeyed.
“Do you want me to touch you, Junsu-yah?” Yoochun asked, his voice taking on such a low timbre it was barely above a growl. Why was he asking these things? Wasn’t the answer already obvious? Junsu canted his hips forward in response, a frustrated groan echoing afterwards. “Okay,” the smile was apparent in his voice. “But only if you promise me one thing.” Right now, Junsu would have promised him the world if it would get that sinful mouth back on his body. He nodded furiously instead. “I’m going to let you go,” Yoochun said, flexing his fingers on Junsu’s wrist. “But you can’t touch yourself. If you do, I won’t touch you.”
It was weak as far as threats went, but it was one Junsu wasn’t willing to risk. He gripped the sheets to show he would comply. “Good choice, Junsu-yah.” The words had barely passed his lips before Yoochun removed his hold on Junsu’s wrists and immediately latched his mouth onto an aching nipple. Junsu let out a keening moan at the sudden attention his nipple was receiving. He made the same sound again when, one of Yoochun’s hands, now free, rubbed a neglected nub.
As Yoochun’s tongue swirled and sucked, nipping the tender flesh, his hand busied itself pulling and twisting. The contrast of slightly calloused fingers with the smooth warmth of a heated tongue was enough to send the blood rushing to his cock. If Junsu was hard then, he was even harder now.
He struggled to regain his equilibrium, not wanting things to end so quickly. He felt, rather than saw, Yoochun’s hard cock where it touched his stomach. Junsu was afraid if he opened his eyes and saw it jutting proudly, just ready to take him, he’d lose all control and everything would be over. So he shut his eyes tightly, fisting the sheets as hard as he could, willing himself not to come so early. That was considerably harder to do than think, especially when Yoochun had abandoned his nipples and was once again making his way lower to where Junsu really wanted his attention.
The right hand reached him first, the initial contact so anticipated yet so unexpected that it had Junsu writhing on the bed, trying to suppress another groan. Yoochun steadied him, a smug, wholly satisfied grin on his face. Junsu couldn’t call him on it, too intent on the hand fondling his balls, rolling the constricting flesh between nimble fingers. Yoochun made a tiny sound in the back of his throat and Junsu just had to prop himself on his elbows and steal a glance.
Yoochun was watching him with a scorching gaze, his eyes no longer a warm brown but a black, black abyss promising dark delights. He was kneeling between Junsu’s thighs; one hand playing with Junsu’s balls like a child would play jacks, the other stroking his own length. The sight of Yoochun touching himself was more arousing than anything Junsu had ever seen on a screen.
Junsu found himself enthralled with the subtle play of expressions on Yoochun’s face. The way his brow would furrow slightly with every sensation from a downward stroke to the way his mouth would tighten to hold back tiny groan with a simple twist of the wrist. Only the thought of shortening their intensely pleasurable encounter kept Junsu from spilling himself all over the sheets.
And then there was no more thinking when Yoochun lowered his mouth and Junsu was suddenly engulfed. He felt it, the heat simmering in his gut begin to boil over. His vision was nothing but spots and blur, breath caught in a noiseless gasp, fisting the sheets with whitened knuckles, waiting, waiting, waiting for that blessed release.
But none came.
Yoochun’s tongue laved on the head of his cock, swiping away what would have been a major orgasm. The hand that had so skillfully played with his sac now wrapped tight fingers around the base of Junsu’s erection with the same skill. Junsu felt like sobbing and thanking him at the same time. He couldn’t help the frustrated whine that escaped him.
“Please-let me…I need to-
”
“Come?” Yoochun interrupted, a pause in devouring the whole of Junsu’s cock with his mouth. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he said, kissing the head with eyes closed and tonguing the slit like it was the best thing he’d ever put in his mouth. Junsu surged forward, trying to feel more of the burning heaven he knew lay in Yoochun’s mouth. Yoochun would have none of it, one hand firmly wrapped around Junsu’s cock, the other holding down Junsu’s hips.
“So impatient,” Yoochun tsk’d, his voice finally giving away some of the strain he was feeling. Kim Junsu was a hard man to resist-completely innocent and oblivious to his own magnetic sexuality. Okay, maybe not completely innocent, what with the way he was canting his hips forward with abandon, wantonly seeking release. A release, Yoochun smugly thought, that only he could give.
His ‘employer’ had been nothing but a tease during the short while Yoochun had been here, and Yoochun had yet return the favor in kind. He laughed inwardly at the thoughts of flaunting around the house, shamelessly flashing patches of skin and moving about in a sensual manner that he’d become accustomed to when with clients. Junsu would call him on it and Yoochun would have loads of fun blatantly denying any thoughts of seduction, all the while leering at Junsu and speaking in a voice that had many a client falling to their knees.
It was slightly degrading to think about though, especially when Junsu had made it clear from the start that all he wanted was the companionship of a real live human being before being relegated to sitting in front of a computer screen for the next three decades. But what could he do? He hadn’t been allowed to touch and now that he was, he’d be damned if every touch, every stroke, and every lick of the tongue and pump of his fingers (as well as other things) wouldn’t bring the mind-blowing pleasure he was sure Junsu had yet to experience in his twenty-two years.
He was determined to give and take as much satisfaction as he could. There was no knowing if there would be a repeat performance anytime soon-or ever for that matter. Yoochun would drag this out for as long as he could because it was the only one he was sure he’d have.
A low whine from an arched neck was emitted when Yoochun switched hands. “We need lube.” Yoochun muttered through gritted teeth. Junsu was unraveling him faster than he wanted.
“Bed side drawer,” Junsu gasped breathily when Yoochun swiped at his slit. Yoochun was intrigued of course, but that was a question for a later time. It took a little longer, but he flipped the lube’s cap with one hand and spread a liberal amount on his fingers, all the while blowing on the tip of Junsu’s erection. He took a moment to appreciate his handy work, proud of the way the head was red and swollen, weeping like a faucet ready to burst.
“Shh…” he quieted the man laid before him, a little sorry for causing the broken whimpers escaping through a sweet mouth. “Tell me what you want, baby,” the slightly crude endearment slipped through his lips, his words vibrating down the length of Junsu’s cock, making him buck.
“Touch me-I want…I need-please. Just-oh.” The last part came out in a gasp, a lubed finger circling his puckered hole, the trail leaving a slow burn compared to the fire raging within him. Junsu had never felt like this before, this urgent, desperate need enveloping him till there was nothing else but him and the man kneeling between his legs, causing the most pleasurable torture. A tentative finger slipped inside, slowly, slowly, working through a ring of muscle. Junsu thought-though he didn’t understand how he could still think-it would have been painful if it weren’t for Yoochun’s other hand, no longer holding his cock hostage, but stroking it firmly.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Yoochun murmured, leaving a smattering of kisses on the insides if his thighs. “I know it hurts. Just tell me when it’s too much.” Junsu nodded, willing himself to relax, knowing pleasure was just above the pain, sparks of it flaring around the edges of discomfort when Yoochun moved. He nodded again when Yoochun asked if he was ready for a little more, becoming accustomed to the feel of Yoochun moving inside him.
It’s that thought that makes the breach of a second finger easier, knowing it was Yoochun, so of course he was in good hands. It’s surprisingly easier now, and he didn’t have to try so hard to get past the ache because the heat came to him, coiling in his belly when Yoochun scissored his fingers, crooking the ends and he finds it-what, Junsu doesn’t really know, but he’s sure it’s a good thing-and it isn’t long before he’s shamelessly thrusting his hips in time to the other man’s fingers. A breathy chuckle uttered low somewhere between his thighs before a hand on his abdomen slows him.
“Slowly, baby, slowly,” Yoochun said. “I don’t want to hurt you.” If Junsu had been thinking properly and hadn’t been lost in a haze of mind-numbing lust, he would have thought they’d meant something. As it was, he only caught the last vestiges of an unreadable look before Yoochun once again downed his cock and slipped in a third finger. Nothing else mattered after that.
“Do you want me Susu?” Yoochun hummed around the hardness in his mouth. “Do you want me inside you?” The words were garbled and barely coherent, Yoochun’s own desire beginning to unravel the skilled man. Junsu could only plead a whimper in acquiesce, wriggling this way and that, wishing Yoochun would touch him there again. Yoochun complied, prodding the sensitive bump, just enough to turn the man laid before him into a quivering mess, but not enough to push him over the edge.
“Mickey. Oh, Mickey-” Junsu whined when it wasn’t enough. “More. Please. Please. Please. I want-”
It was the please that did it. That unabashed pleading that signaled he couldn’t take it anymore. Good. Yoochun didn’t think he’d last much longer either. He’d never been so aroused in his life. Just watching the look on Junsu’s face when he rubbed him just the right way would have been more than enough to undo him, had he been less experienced.
“God, I want you.” Junsu didn’t have the time-nor was he lucid enough-to contemplate the many implications of the last three words. He was left with a slightly bereft feeling when Yoochun took away his fingers, mewling at the loss.
“Turn around for me baby,” came the soft command. “I’ll make you feel good.” Junsu could only follow, rolling himself onto his stomach, moaning in aggravation when his cock brushed against the sheets, the brief friction nowhere near enough. Trembling, he held himself up on his hands in knees, the position primitive and so arousing at the same time. With his head tucked onto his chest, he could see Yoochun’s own erection jutting proudly behind him, the sight alone putting spots in his vision.
There’s the sound of foil tearing before there’s fingers in him, stroking, hard and fast. It was different and no longer gentle, the forceful rhythm something he hadn’t known he craved. Yoochun flexed his pumping fingers, preparing Junsu as best he could, all the while showering the younger man’s back and tailbone with fluttering kisses. The fingers didn’t stop and Junsu was only vaguely aware of faintly trembling hands guiding his own to grab onto the headboard.
It changed their angle, bringing Yoochun’s fingers that much closer to that sweet spot inside him, begging for attention. Junsu gasped, seizing the wood beneath his hands in a death grip to stave off his impending orgasm. He knew where this would lead to and he was determined to experience everything. He didn’t want just Yoochun’s fingers. He wanted Yoochun’s cock, hot and pulsing to come inside him.
Junsu bit his lips, chewed on the insides of his cheeks, anything. He wouldn’t get what he wanted if he came right now. But it was hard. So hard. More lube and Yoochun had removed his fingers and planted hands on his hips instead, the older man rubbing his cock against the cleft of Junsu’s ass. The feel of it, the promise of what was about to come sent Junsu shuddering, renewing his tight grasp on the headboard.
“Are you ready for me, Junsu-yah?” Yoochun asked, prodding the bent man’s entrance, aching to just shove himself inside but reigning in his control for fear of causing pain.
“Yes. Yes-please,” Junsu nearly sobbed. He was so hard it almost hurt.
Yoochun did as he was asked because he simply couldn’t put it off any longer. Experience and control he had, but he could feel them pulled taut, ready to snap. He forced himself to slow, especially when he heard Junsu emit a slow hiss, knowing no amount of fingers, lube, and preparation could prepare an obvious virgin for the real thing. It was a little painful, that’s for sure. Yoochun thought his cock would explode from the searing heat that surrounded him, never before had he wanted to pound someone into a mattress so badly. But he couldn’t do that. Not to Junsu-never to Junsu-and especially not during his first time.
Buried to the hilt, he stilled, giving the smaller man time to adjust. He could feel Junsu stretching around him, accommodating his size, the tiny contraction of muscles fanning the heat building in his groin. “Tell me when you’re ready, baby.” He massaged a tensed back with the pads of his thumbs, bending over to follow the circular motions with his mouth. It changed the angle and Yoochun had to shut his eyes tight at the pleasure shooting up his cock, unable to suppress a shallow thrust. He figured he must have done something right because Junsu was suddenly moving.
“Move Mickey!”
Yoochun didn’t need to be told twice. He moved at a barely controlled tempo, trying not to go too fast but failing epically. He knew he had to pace himself, more for Junsu’s sake than for his because he didn’t want the man’s first encounter to be painful now or in the morning after. Junsu didn’t seem to share his opinion, however.
“Fuck, Mickey.” Never had a cuss word sounded so hot. Because he’d been living with the man for days now, he knew for a fact that Junsu never cussed. But knowing he’d caused such a dirty word to leave Junsu’s mouth only spurned him on. His already flimsy hold on his control rapidly deteriorated when Junsu continued, groaning, “Mickey, harder. Fuck. I’m going to-”
Yoochun grasped Junsu’s neglected cock, stroking it hard and fast, even as his hips lost their controlled rhythm. He grabbed the base again, just as he felt Junsu’s muscles contract around him, never missing an abandoned thrust. Gripping the swollen member, he placed sloppy kisses on the back of Junsu’s neck, sucking on the flesh, biting it, leaving marks, neither of them aware of causing pain or receiving it, too far gone in their spiraling lust to care.
“Mickey…! What are you-? Fuck. Let me-” Junsu pushed back, grinding himself backward onto Yoochun’s cock, hoping to loosen the other man’s grip.
Yoochun held firm, clinging to the last vestiges of his control to give in to his deepest, darkest desire. “Say it,” he panted through gritted teeth, Junsu’s canting hips doing most of the work for them now. If he moved, he’d lose it before getting what he really wanted. “Say it, Junsu-yah. I won’t let you come until you say it.”
“Say what?!” came the strangled question, desperate need lacing the frustrated words.
“My name.”
“Mickey!” was the instant reply. Yoochun shook his head, digging nails into shoving hips to slow them. So close. They were both so close.
“No. The other one.” The real one.
There was absolutely no hesitation, as if the name had been clinging to the roof of his mouth, only waiting for permission to be said.
“Yoochun,” Junsu breathed.
One word and said man lost it. There was no more rhythm. No more control. Just him and the knowledge that he was taking Junsu, having him, in the most intimate way possible.
One stroke. Two. Three. And then he could hear Junsu above him, “Shit. Shit. Shit-” before he was spilling all over Yoochun’s hand and onto the sheets.
It was wrong. Completely irrational and out of character-but all he could think of was mine as he watched Junsu’s arched form, so beautiful in his release. It was his last thought before driving into Junsu one last time and giving into his own mind-blowing orgasm.
Hearts, stars, and horseshoes-fucking unicorns and a dozen rainbows or two. That’s what it felt like. No roller coasters-not even flying. Nothing could compare to the feel of Junsu’s body shuddering beneath him, splayed and tightening around his cock. It’s more than just an orgasm, like how this is more than just sex for him. It’s ironic, stupid, and makes complete and total sense. Three words come to mind (but his lips were sealed).
They lay tangled and boneless around each other for what seemed like eternity. Yoochun recovered first, knowing he had to clean them both up and position them away from the wet spot on the bed lest they wake up sticky and gross. He grabbed the box of tissues on the nightstand. Junsu had fallen asleep-possibly even blacked out-thankfully just inches away from the sticky mess on the bed.
Yoochun cleaned him off first, careful not to disturb the spent man, followed by his own body. He took a towel he found somewhere and laid it over the wet spot before climbing into the bed and wrapping himself around Junsu’s prone form. Maybe it was fatigue, or just a habit in sleep, but the other man allowed himself to be maneuvered into Yoochun’s embrace, wrapping his arms around a thin waist and settling his head on Yoochun’s chest.
It took longer for Yoochun to fall asleep, fighting off exhaustion until the very last second. He wanted to keep this moment, tuck it away so he could take it out when he left. Not if. Never if. No, because he knew he was leaving. They’d agreed on one month. Four weeks. Thirty days. Seven hundred and twenty hours. Forty-three thousand two hundred seconds.
Yoochun knew-he’d counted.
And he’d make it last for as long as he could-sleep be damned.
A/N: here’s a little secret: I wrote the smut first and then looked for a plot to center around that very scene. I found one courtesy of crazyoverbishie over at yoosu_ywh :D
Anyway, it might be a while before this one’s updated again. I’ve got a bunch of other fics I’ve agreed to do, as well as a bunch of exams coming and going in the next few weeks. This installment is incredibly long though, so BE HAPPY xP
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