Freudian Slips
I needed a laugh today, and my calendar obliged me. I thought I'd share.
A well-endowed agency: "[I propose to create a] Commission on Erections and Mounting." ~Richard M. Daley, Jr., mayor of Chicago, proposing to honor the late Representative and Senator Everett Dirksen with a statute
For the fashionable, yet die-hard animal rights activist: "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin." ~Sign at Swedish furrier
A new frontier in scantily clad females: "It's a hot night at the Garden, folks, and at ringside I see several ladies in gownless evening straps." ~Jimmy Power, radio sportscaster at Madison Square Garden
Sommelier in hell: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for." ~Sign outside a Swiss restaurant
Well, depends on how big the white one is: "That's all very well, but two blacks don't make a white." ~Michael Barratt, broadcaster and author, interviewing two arguing Rhodesian politicians and intending to say, "Two wrongs don't make a right."
Just add water until, hopefully, the kids can take care of themselves: "We were able to slow down and dilute child care." ~Senator Bob Dole of Kansas discussing a child-care bill
Hence the ubiquitous nosegays: "In speed record attempts, the cyclist pedals just a few meters behind a car that breaks wind for the rider." ~Item in South China Morning Post, describing a Dutch cyclist
Though his foot is further in his mouth: "My heart is as black as yours." ~Mario Procaccino, Democratic candidate for New York major, to an African-American audience
Can't say they didn't warn us: "We have been pushing the idea that George Bush is going to make matters much, much worse." ~Dan Quayle, campaigning for President George H.W. Bush during the 1992 presidential election
A well-endowed agency: "[I propose to create a] Commission on Erections and Mounting." ~Richard M. Daley, Jr., mayor of Chicago, proposing to honor the late Representative and Senator Everett Dirksen with a statute
For the fashionable, yet die-hard animal rights activist: "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin." ~Sign at Swedish furrier
A new frontier in scantily clad females: "It's a hot night at the Garden, folks, and at ringside I see several ladies in gownless evening straps." ~Jimmy Power, radio sportscaster at Madison Square Garden
Sommelier in hell: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for." ~Sign outside a Swiss restaurant
Well, depends on how big the white one is: "That's all very well, but two blacks don't make a white." ~Michael Barratt, broadcaster and author, interviewing two arguing Rhodesian politicians and intending to say, "Two wrongs don't make a right."
Just add water until, hopefully, the kids can take care of themselves: "We were able to slow down and dilute child care." ~Senator Bob Dole of Kansas discussing a child-care bill
Hence the ubiquitous nosegays: "In speed record attempts, the cyclist pedals just a few meters behind a car that breaks wind for the rider." ~Item in South China Morning Post, describing a Dutch cyclist
Though his foot is further in his mouth: "My heart is as black as yours." ~Mario Procaccino, Democratic candidate for New York major, to an African-American audience
Can't say they didn't warn us: "We have been pushing the idea that George Bush is going to make matters much, much worse." ~Dan Quayle, campaigning for President George H.W. Bush during the 1992 presidential election