Apologies

[enigmaticblues]

John Scalzi had a post on apologies--the what, when, and how, and it's worth reading. Anyone who has been on the internet long enough (or has been alive long enough, more accurately) has had to make an apology (which includes me), or has received a fauxpology. ("Sorry if I offended you, but...) But I think that this is the money quote for me

Comments

[legendarytobes]

Scalzi's explaining some things about Hugh Howey's blog post on April 3rd, titled "That Bitch From World Con." Essentially Howey held a grudge against a woman there who was snotty to him for being a self published author with his book Wool. He called her a bitch, a she-demon, a girl, a broad and detailed a fantasy where he'd win a big award, she'd be in the audience and he'd single her out by grabbing his crotch and telling her something explicit. He also made ableist comments mocking her appearance and alleging she was either crazy or had autism because, of course, calling someone mentally ill or associating them with ASD is a great way to dehumanize them.

There is a good post about it here - http://maggieflynn49.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/does-a-nasty-artist-make-for-terrible-art-also-starring-hugh-howeys-need-for-a-brain-to-mouth-filter/ (with the original caps)

It hit Salon.Com today - http://www.salon.com/2013/04/15/self_publishing_star_faces_backlash_for_misogynist_rant_partner/

He did issue two apologies. He did one I think Friday afternoon on Goodreads and then a second one when things didn't seem to be appeased on his blog here:

http://www.hughhowey.com/to-those-whom-ive-offended/

It's sort of debatable how sorry he is. Some people who emailed him said he snapped at them and excused himself by saying he "volunteers at shelters and soup kitchens" so it's the net take that as you will.

I want to believe he's sorry and will do better later, I do. I'm pretty sickened though with how everyone's reaction is that women are just being oversensitive and it's impinging on Howey's free speech and that hardly ANYONE has been upset by the ableism of his rant :(

[enigmaticblues]

You know, the thing about a rant like that is it's public. Using language like that will offend some and not offend others, but it's still offensive language. You can't use pejoratives like that, especially if you're in the oppressor group and are using oppressive language. At least, you can't and expect that people won't be hurt and offended.

And if I hear one more person equate "freedom of speech" with "no one should be offended by what I say, and I should never face consequences for what I say," I may just scream.

[legendarytobes]

I feel that same way. I get he might honestly not have gotten it to start as it's hard when you're in the entitled "normative" group to forget what rights you take for granted. However, when people started complaining, him getting defensive and basically going "my wife said it was okay" and people defending him today going "oh not more PC police and feminazis" I just am sick.

[enigmaticblues]

It reeks of entitled geek. Again, as Scalzi details.

It is really hard to say you're sorry. I know. I've done crap that I shouldn't have, and I've had a hard time owning up to it, but if you hurt others, you need to say, "I'm really sorry. I hurt you by [using offensive language]. I shouldn't have, and I'll do better." Either that, or you need to keep your mouth shut. Those are your options if you don't want people crying for retribution.