What Is Lacking Cannot Be Counted (2/2)
Continued from Part I
~~~~~
They’re on the road a short time later with the baby in the backseat of Sam’s car, since he has seatbelts. Jimmy can tell that Sam doesn’t want anything to do with the kid, and he’s a little disconcerted by Sam’s total disinterest, even distaste. He gets not liking kids, but this is something else altogether.
“Look, when we get there, stick close to me, okay?” Dean says, breaking into Jimmy’s thoughts.
“Are you worried?” Jimmy asks.
Dean shakes his head. “I don’t know what I am right now. Are you really okay?”
Jimmy touches the rapidly swelling area under his left eye. “I’ll be fine. It’s just bruises.”
“Your throat?”
“I’m fine.”
Dean raises a hand in supplication. “Sorry. I was just checking.”
Jimmy knows he shouldn’t have snapped, but he doesn’t have it in him to apologize right now. He’s still angry, and he doesn’t trust himself to say anything.
He leans his forehead against the cool glass of the window, looking out at the darkness beyond, the silence hanging between them uncomfortable and tense.
The compound doesn’t look all that promising; it looks more like a fortress, and maybe it’s just because it’s after dark, but when they go inside, it’s dim, dank, and gray. Jimmy hasn’t seen a lot of hunter’s lairs, but he can’t help but compare the Campbell compound to Bobby’s house, which is shabby, but welcoming.
Jimmy carries the baby inside, but he wishes he could keep a hand on his weapon, even if that wouldn’t go over too well with their hosts.
“Hey, Sam.” The large, imposing bald man stepped forward, looking at first Sam, then Dean. “And Dean. It’s good to see you again.”
“Yeah, same here,” Dean replies, his shoulders stiff with tension. “And this is Jimmy.”
Jimmy feels all eyes on him, and there isn’t one person present who appears welcoming.
Samuel looks at the baby. “And this must be the shapeshifter.”
“Isn’t he just the cutest little monster?” A woman approaches Jimmy with a smile, reaching out to touch the baby’s hand.
Jimmy takes a step back.
“Jimmy, Dean, this is Gwen,” Sam says. “And we’ve also got Christian, Mark, and Johnny. It’s okay, Jimmy. Give the baby to Samuel.”
Jimmy looks at Dean for direction. “What are you going to do with the kid?” Dean asks.
“Raise it,” Samuel replies with a smile. “Relax, Dean, we aren’t going to hurt him. We’re family. We wouldn’t lie to you.”
“That remains to be seen,” Dean says with a dark look at Sam.
Samuel holds out his hands. “Let me see this guy.”
Jimmy thinks these people are creepy as hell, but Samuel appears to be genuinely interested in holding Bobby, so he passes the baby over. Samuel smiles and bounces the infant with practiced movements. “I haven’t held a baby in ages,” he says, looking at Dean. “Not since your mom, and she was tiny, and bald as a cue ball.”
Dean is silent, his hands shoved in his pockets, clearly still wary.
“We’re just asking you to give us a chance,” Samuel says, his eyes still on Dean.
“Hey, we don’t need you,” Christian says belligerently. “You can take your boyfriend and go home. We’ll look after the kid.”
Dean bristles. “Don’t even go there.”
“We’ve heard some stories,” Mark says, swaggering over to Jimmy. “Your friend here is supposed to be a miracle worker.”
Jimmy stiffens. They can’t afford to have that information floating around.
“Yeah, we’ve heard he does more than bleed.” Christian’s smile holds an edge of cruelty. “And that he’s not much of a hunter otherwise.”
Jimmy can see that Dean is about to lose it, and he puts a hand on Dean’s arm, trying to calm him. He knows it’s a mistake as soon as he sees the speculation on the Campbells’ faces. Jimmy has just confirmed some of their suspicions, and he can see the contempt in their eyes.
They already think he’s weak; this just makes him look weaker.
“That’s enough,” Samuel says, a quiet command in his voice. “I’m sure Dean has his reasons for having Jimmy as a partner.”
Dean doesn’t say anything, but he gives Sam a narrow-eyed glare, and Sam says, “Lay off, guys. Dean’s my brother.”
Jimmy notices that Sam doesn’t say anything about him, but they barely know each other, so maybe that’s understandable.
Dogs bark outside, and Samuel frowns. “Check the perimeter,” he barks, handing the baby to Jimmy. “There’s a panic room. You’ll be safe in there. Sam, show him and Dean where to go, then get your ass back up here.”
The panic room is as substantial as Bobby’s, but Jimmy doesn’t feel safe there. He feels more like battle lines have been drawn, and it’s him against the Campbells. He supposes he should feel lucky that Dean doesn’t seem to be throwing Jimmy to the wolves, but he doesn’t.
And there’s that same anger again, Jimmy thinks. He and Dean had a good thing going before Sam showed up, before the Campbells had appeared. He hates that their relationship is in jeopardy, or that they’re looking down their noses at Dean because he’s partnered up with someone like Jimmy.
“I’m sorry,” Jimmy says quietly, keeping his ears open for sounds from outside.
Dean has his gun trained on the door. “Sorry for what?”
“For outing you in front of them,” Jimmy replies. “I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s not your fault they’re assholes,” Dean snaps. “Dammit, Jimmy. They don’t have a fucking clue who I am, or who you are. Sam should know better, but he’s apparently drunk the Kool-Aid.”
The baby whimpers in Jimmy’s arms. “Maybe they’re right about me. I’m not much of a hunter.”
“Shut up,” Dean says fiercely. “You’re my fucking partner, and that’s the end of it.”
Jimmy closes his eyes briefly. There isn’t much he can count on in this life-he can’t even count on the fact that he’ll continue to be in control of his body-but he can trust Dean. “Okay.”
There’s a banging on the door, and then it’s pulled off its hinges. Dean empties his clip into the shapeshifter’s chest, but it doesn’t even pause. It knocks Dean out of the way, and Dean hits the wall with a thud.
Dean doesn’t get up, and the shapeshifter turns his attention to Jimmy. Jimmy puts his back to the wall, the baby wailing in his arms.
“Give me the child. He should be raised with his own kind.”
Jimmy can’t really argue with that, but he’s not prepared to hand the baby over without some kind of a fight. Jimmy glances down at his innocent face, and he knows that in twenty years, assuming that he and Dean are still around, they might be hunting him.
“Over my dead body,” Jimmy replies calmly.
The shapeshifter smiles. “That can be arranged.”
With the baby in his arms, Jimmy can’t do much to defend himself, and the shapeshifter’s hand closes around Jimmy’s throat. For the second time that day, Jimmy finds himself unable to breathe, and he loses consciousness just as the baby is pulled from his arms.
~~~~~
“Jimmy. Come on, Jimmy.”
Jimmy opens his eyes slowly. “Dean?” he croaks.
“Yeah, buddy,” Dean says. “You ready to get out of here?”
“Are you okay?”
“Better than you,” Dean replies. “Can you stand?”
“There’s no fucking way I’m showing them any weakness,” Jimmy growls.
Dean grins. “Atta boy.”
When they get to the main room, they find Mark dead and the others bruised and battered. Jimmy tunes out the conversation; he’s too tired and in too much pain to focus, and Dean will fill him in later if there’s anything Jimmy needs to know.
“Hey,” Dean says quietly. “We’re heading out.”
Sam walks out with them. “Dean-”
“I want to work with you,” Dean says quietly. “But I won’t work with them. Right now, we need to lick our wounds and heal up. Call me if you get a case, or you can meet us at Bobby’s.”
Sam nods. “Maybe I will.”
“Come on, Jimmy. Let’s get a move on,” Dean says, climbing behind the wheel.
“So, Bobby’s,” Jimmy says as they pull out, not really caring.
Dean shrugs. “I need a couple of days to think, and you need to recover.”
“I’m fine,” Jimmy protests, but there isn’t much force behind it.
Dean smiles, but there isn’t much humor in his expression. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure I am, and I want to talk to Bobby face to face.”
Jimmy closes his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault,” Dean replies grimly. “Look, get some sleep. I’ll let you take over in a while.”
Six hours later, they switch off, but Dean stays awake, staring out the window, a desolate expression on his face. “You want to talk about it?” Jimmy finally asks.
“Probably about as much as you do,” Dean replies. “How much pain are you in?”
Ever since Dean found out that the wounds hurt, he checks in on Jimmy’s pain levels on a fairly regular basis. Jimmy has learned not to prevaricate. “About a six.”
Dean glances over at him. “This is why you’re better than the rest of them, you know. Anybody else who had to live with this crap, they probably would have eaten a bullet by now.”
Jimmy’s hands tighten around the steering wheel. There are still days when he thinks about eating a bullet; there are days when he thinks he’s a coward for not doing it.
“Yeah, well.”
“I hate that it’s back,” Dean says quietly. “I know you can’t help healing people who need it, but it’s probably going to kill you one of these days if you push it too hard.”
“It might,” Jimmy acknowledges.
Dean smiles faintly. “Now you sound like a Winchester.”
Jimmy figures he can take that as a compliment.
~~~~~
Jimmy has spent enough time at Bobby’s place to feel almost at home; it’s a decent base, although Bobby’s about as angry as Jimmy has ever seen him.
“What is that damn fool brother of yours thinking?” he demands, more than once.
Dean just shakes his head. “There’s something wrong with him,” he insists. “But I don’t know what it is.”
Sam calls a few days into their stay to let Dean know he has a case, but that he’s got it covered.
When Dean hangs up, he glances over at Jimmy. “Seems Cas showed up,” Dean says quietly. “He’s definitely got a new vessel.”
Jimmy breathes a sigh of relief. It’s not like that’s a surprise, but it’s nice to have confirmation. “Did Sam need help?”
“He said he and Cas took care of it,” Dean replies. “It was some weapon from heaven, probably like the one Cas got us to retrieve for him. He said Cas seemed kind of pissed at me.”
Jimmy raises his eyebrows. “So?”
Dean smiles. “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I said.”
“We going to meet up with him for the next hunt?”
Dean shakes his head. “He’ll call again when he feels like it.” He sits down heavily. “I don’t know, Jimmy. Sam has always been the kind of kid that would run off on his own, but I thought we were past this.”
Jimmy wishes he could offer some form of comfort, but there’s nothing he can say. “I’m sorry, Dean.”
“Not your fault.” Dean forces a smile. “Besides, we’ve got a new job.”
“What’s that?” Jimmy asks.
Dean grins. “Bobby needs his soul back, so we’re going international.”
~~~~~
Jimmy has never been out of the country, and normally it would take time to get a passport, but Bobby’s on a tear to get one over on Crowley and get his soul back, and Dean is really, really good at creating fake documents. They’re on a red-eye to Edinburgh that night, and Jimmy is a little surprised to realize just how freaked out Dean is by flying. Jimmy suggests that Dean have a drink-or a few drinks-to get him through the flight. Dean insists on staying sharp, though, and in between puking, he clutches at the arms of his seat.
Jimmy wants to reach out, but he’s not sure how Dean will take the gesture, so he keeps his hands to himself and makes sure Dean has water or ginger ale to drink.
Finally, though, the interminable flight is over, and they’re heading for the grave where Crowley’s bones are buried.
The thing is, other than the fact that they’re digging someone up and threatening to burn the bones, it could almost be a vacation. Dean threatens Crowley over the phone, flicks his lighter a few times, and then they hand the bones over to Crowley once he’s given Bobby his soul back. And that’s that.
“When do we fly back?” Jimmy asks.
“Couple of days,” Dean replies. “I figured we could see a bit of the countryside, drink a few beers, maybe visit a distillery.”
Jimmy nods; he’s noticed that Dean’s been drinking more since Sam showed up. Still, he can’t exactly blame Dean, because he’s been drinking a little more these days, too.
And he can’t remember the last time he had a vacation. They don’t get breaks in this line of work.
“That sounds good,” he says.
They stay at a little bed and breakfast that first night, in a village near the gravesite, and Dean fucks Jimmy slow and easy. He’s so careful, so gentle, and Jimmy groans into his pillow, feeling Dean’s hand on his dick as they both come with muffled cries.
Afterward, Dean spoons Jimmy on the narrow bed, and Jimmy feels Dean’s lips brush the back of his neck.
Jimmy closes his eyes and thinks that if he can just hold on to this, all the shit he’s been through might be worth it. As much as he misses Amelia and Claire and his life with them, he still loves Dean, and he loves this life, too.
Sometimes, Jimmy thinks his life started the day Dean asked him to go on the road with him. The person he is now, and the person he was before he’d said yes-it’s like night and day. Jimmy can’t imagine being that guy again. He can’t imagine going back to that ordinary life.
When they fly back, they’re both a little more relaxed after a couple of days with no mention of Sam, or hunting, or the strange way monsters are acting. It’s easy for Jimmy to be with Dean, their conversations rambling between stories of their childhoods, or past relationships, or old hunts.
Maybe he and Dean don’t have much in common, Jimmy thinks, but they share the important things-they would do anything for family, and they need to be needed.
As soon as they land, Dean checks his messages and finds one from Sam.
“We’ve got another hunt, if you’re up for it,” Dean says. “Seven girls have gone missing in as many days.”
Jimmy winces, not really liking the idea of working with Sam again. “Sam isn’t going to want me around.”
“Sam doesn’t have a choice,” Dean shoots back. “We’re a package deal.”
When Jimmy opens his mouth to argue, Dean cuts him off. “I blackmailed Cas into getting a new vessel to get you back,” he says. “So don’t be an idiot.”
Jimmy smiles. “Now you sound like Bobby.”
“There are worse people to sound like,” Dean says. “So, you up for it?”
Jimmy shrugs. “He’s your brother, and he needs our help, so yeah.”
They drive straight through to Limestone, Illinois, where all the disappearances have occurred and meet up with Sam at a motel.
“I got two rooms,” Sam says casually. “I figured you’d prefer it.”
“Thanks,” Dean says, taking the second key from Sam. “We do. So, what have we got?”
Sam fills them in, and Jimmy flips through the missing persons fliers that the parents had posted around town. The girls in the photos aren’t that much older than Claire, and he feels a sudden urge to call her, to warn her yet again not to take candy from strangers or go home with people she doesn’t know.
Dean looks over his shoulder and murmurs. “Damn. They’re so fucking young.”
Jimmy glances up in time to see a strange expression cross Sam’s face. “You’re getting old, Dean,” he jokes.
Dean shakes his head. “They’re not that much older than Claire.”
“Claire?” Sam asks, frowning.
Jimmy’s a little surprised that Sam doesn’t remember, but maybe Sam has seen too much, and has saved too many people, to recall the name of every kid he helped rescue. “My daughter,” Jimmy reminds him.
“Oh, right.” And there’s nothing in Sam’s voice, no emotion at all. Jimmy knows that he doesn’t know Sam, but this guy doesn’t match the little Jimmy does know about him. “Well, I thought Dean and I would start by interviewing the family of the latest victim. Jimmy, maybe you could question the others?”
Jimmy glances at Dean to gauge his reaction. Dean doesn’t look too happy, and his jaw is tense, but then he throws Jimmy an apologetic look, and Jimmy knows he’s lost this battle.
He can’t shake the feeling that Sam wants to get rid of him for whatever reason, and while Dean had made it pretty clear to the Campbell clan that they’re a package deal, this is Sam, no matter how changed he might be. Jimmy has always known he wouldn’t be able to compete with Sam for Dean’s affections.
“That’s fine,” Jimmy finally says. “I guess I’ll put on a suit.”
Dean and Sam start with the first victim; Jimmy heads for the house of the next most recent. Her parents, a Mr. and Mrs. Graham, are pale, their eyes shadowed, and they greet Jimmy with relief mixed with desperation. It’s fairly obvious that they’re grasping at straws, willing to accept whatever help is offered in the hope of finding their daughter alive.
Karen’s room is a shrine to vampires. Jimmy recognizes some of the names from conversations he’d had with Claire, although she’s more inured to the charm of the supernatural than this girl. Claire has been the vessel of an angel; vampires can’t really compete.
Although Jimmy wonders what will happen when the next fad is angels, or fallen angels; he doesn’t think Claire will be completely safe from that.
Karen has put a password on her computer, but when Jimmy asks, Mrs. Graham says, “I think it’s Edward. At least it was the last time she told me. I insisted that I have all her passwords just in case.”
Mrs. Graham swallows a sob at that, and Jimmy tries to keep his distance, but all he can think about is Claire, and losing her, and what that would do to him.
“I have a daughter just a little younger than Karen,” he admits. “I can only imagine what you’re going through.”
She manages a watery smile. “Thank you. The police think she ran off. We tried to tell them that she isn’t that kind of girl, but-”
“They think you don’t know your daughter,” Jimmy murmurs.
“Exactly,” she says. “Whatever happened to her, she didn’t run away.”
“I believe you,” Jimmy promises. “Was there a place she liked to go?”
“The Black Rose,” Mrs. Graham replies, wiping her eyes. “She went there as often as she could.”
Jimmy nods. “Thank you. You’ve been very helpful. I’m just going to see what I can find on her computer, and I promise you, I’ll contact you as soon as I know something.”
Jimmy is no stranger to teenage girls, and so he checks Karen’s browser history, her favorites, and a few other places. By the time he’s done, he has a pretty clear picture of Karen, and her secret desires.
She wants a boy who will love her completely, who is mysterious and older. Jimmy doesn’t understand it, but maybe he’s just too old to get it. He feels old now, terribly old, like the world is passing him by, and his only real knowledge comes from hunting monsters, which most people don’t believe in. Most of the time, Jimmy feels as though he occupies some kind of netherworld, with Claire his only point of contact to his former life, and Dean his only contact with his new one. Jimmy figures that if he loses either one of them, he’s going to be seriously fucked.
Operating under some instinct that Jimmy can’t quantify, he calls Dean before heading for the next victim’s house. “Where are you?”
“At a place called the Black Rose,” Dean replies. “It’s pretty fucking lame.”
Jimmy smiles. “So I’ve heard. That was the last place Karen was seen, too, and she was pretty taken with it.”
“And vampires?”
“And vampires,” Jimmy confirms. “Do you want me to meet you there?”
“Yeah, I would,” Dean says. “I’ll see you soon.”
Jimmy would have normally changed out of his suit, but he doesn’t think he has the time. It’s not that he thinks Sam is incapable of watching Dean’s back, but Jimmy knows he’ll be able to heal Dean if something does go wrong.
At least, he thinks he’ll be able to.
Jimmy hasn’t healed anyone since Castiel repossessed him, so maybe he’s lost that gift. But there’s at least a chance.
The Black Rose is about what Jimmy pictured. It’s full of teenagers dressed in black with multiple piercings and tattoos. Jimmy sticks out like a sore thumb, and he’s sure Dean and Sam do, too. That should make them easier to find, but he can’t spot them.
Jimmy makes a slow circuit, and when he can’t locate Dean, he tries calling. The phone rings, but there’s no answer, and so he walks up to the bar. He gets the bartender’s attention by the simple expedient of holding up a $20 bill. Jimmy passes him the money as he asks, “Have you seen a couple of guys around 30? Not dressed in black, and one of them is huge.”
The bartender nods. “Yeah, they stuck out almost as much as you do, dude.”
Jimmy smiles. “I suppose. Did you see them?”
“They went out the back a little bit ago,” the bartender replies. “I haven’t seen them since.”
“Thanks,” Jimmy replies, and takes off.
He emerges out of the club into an alley and looks both ways. At first, he doesn’t see anything of note, but then he hears a scuffling sound. It might be rats, but then Jimmy thinks he hears Dean’s voice, and he starts jogging.
Jimmy skids to a stop when he sees Sam standing there, his arms hanging at his sides. Dean is being held up against a dumpster by a large man. In the next moment, Jimmy realizes that the man is actually a vampire, and Sam is still just standing there. Jimmy doesn’t even think about it. He starts running, pulling the hunting knife from the scabbard in the small of his back.
Jimmy drives the knife into the side of the vampire’s neck and wrenches it around. It’s not enough to kill him, but it’s enough for him to let Dean go. Dean drops to the ground, unconscious, and the vampire laughs through bloody teeth.
“I’ll be seeing you soon,” the vampire says and runs off, Jimmy’s knife still sticking out of his neck.
Jimmy drops to his knees next to Dean, feeling for a pulse. It’s there, but it’s weak and thready, and Dean’s mouth is stained with blood. Jimmy wraps a hand around the back of Dean’s neck. “Come on,” he mutters. “Come on.”
There’s nothing. Normally, Jimmy’s healing ability would have kicked in by now. “No,” he mutters. “Don’t do this. Don’t do this.”
Jimmy still has no idea who or what gave him the stigmata and the ability to heal; he just knows it wasn’t Castiel, and he suspects these so-called gifts are from an otherwise absent God. It’s not that Jimmy doesn’t believe in God these days; it’s that he mostly hates God for being a fucking absentee father, for not doing anything to keep his angels in line.
For making it possible for Castiel to take Jimmy as a vessel; for twisting up Jimmy’s love and devotion so he said yes without knowing what he was getting himself into.
But that anger, ever-present since the first time Castiel vacated the premises, rises up with renewed ferocity at the thought of losing Dean.
“No!” Jimmy shouts, not really sure who he’s shouting at. “I’m not losing him, too! You’re going to fucking let me do this! If you don’t, I’ll make sure no one ever gets to use my gifts. I’ll eat my gun.”
“Jimmy,” Sam says from behind him. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Back the fuck off,” Jimmy warns him. “I can do this.”
“Samuel knows of a cure,” Sam tells him, putting a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder and pulling at him.
Jimmy calmly draws his gun and points it at Sam. “I said back the fuck off and let me handle this.”
Sam raises his hands. “But-”
“You let this happen!” Jimmy shouts. “Back off, or I will shoot you.”
Sam backs off, apparently sensing how serious Jimmy is in that moment. Jimmy puts one hand on Dean’s neck, but Dean doesn’t show any sign of stirring. “You will let me have this,” Jimmy mutters to an absent God. “I’ve given up everything. I’ve lost almost everything. I am not losing Dean. So, you will fucking let me have him.”
For a long moment, there’s still nothing, and then Jimmy feels the familiar energy rush through him. He can distantly sense Sam approach him from behind, apparently intent on pulling Jimmy away. “No, Jimmy, you can’t,” Sam begins, and Jimmy feels a touch on his shoulder.
No one has ever touched him while he’s healing someone, but Jimmy isn’t all that surprised when Sam is knocked back on his ass.
He knows this is going to be a tough one. The vampire’s blood has already had time to work its way through Dean’s system, changing him, and Jimmy remembers how difficult it had been to heal Dean’s busted knee and counteract the werewolf poison.
When Jimmy’s done, when he knows Dean is safe, he slumps across Dean’s body, feeling the last of the life leaving his body.
~~~~~
Jimmy doesn’t regain consciousness so much as slowly become aware of the sounds of an argument occurring close to him. His limbs feel leaden, and his head is buzzing, but he can make out the words even if he can’t respond.
“It wasn’t just me, dammit!” That’s Dean’s voice. “You knew what Jimmy was capable of. You knew he’d try to save me!”
“I just froze,” Sam protests. “I’m sorry. I tried to tell Jimmy that Samuel had a cure, but he pulled a gun on me.”
And I’d do it again, Jimmy thinks, but can’t say.
“He’s my fucking partner,” Dean shoots back. “And he can heal people. What did you think he was going to do?”
“I figured he’d listen to me,” Sam replies. “Look, Dean, I’m sorry. I froze, and I put you and Jimmy in jeopardy. There’s nothing I can say to make up for that.”
“No, there isn’t,” Dean replies bitterly. “Fuck, Sam. He should be in the hospital. I had to do CPR to get him breathing again. He lost a shitload of blood, but I can’t take him to get a transfusion because he’d end up in a psych ward.”
“He might not,” Sam protests.
“Yeah, well, I’m not willing to take that risk,” Dean says. “Because you know how much of a hassle it would be to break him out.”
“I’ll call Samuel and have him bring transfusion equipment,” Sam says. “I know he’s done it before.”
“And if I think he’s hurting Jimmy, I’m going to kill him,” Dean says. “I went two months without him, and I’m not doing that again. I fucking mean it, Sam.”
“I believe you,” Sam says in a placating tone. “I’ll call him now.”
“You do that.”
Jimmy wants to offer some kind of reassurance, but he still can’t move. He feels Dean’s hand close around his; it’s not often that Dean displays any kind of affection where anybody can see. Jimmy wants to squeeze back, but he can’t even move that much. Jimmy has no idea what that means. Maybe he’s going to be trapped inside his own body, which is a different kind of hell than having Castiel use him as a vessel.
“I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but I need you to come back,” Dean murmurs. “And if you can hear me, I expect you not to mention this conversation.” He laughs, and the sound is a little broken. “I’m going to kick your ass when you get back. I almost lost you, and I can’t handle that. I need somebody to watch my back, and that’s apparently you, since Sam can’t be trusted to do the job. Just-wake up, okay?”
Jimmy only wishes he could, but he’s unconscious again shortly thereafter.
~~~~~
He wakes again when he feels a prick and a burn in his right arm, and then-well, Jimmy can’t quite describe the feeling. His arms and legs develop pins and needles, and Jimmy opens his eyes with some effort.
“There he is.” Samuel smile down at him. “Just hold still, Jimmy. We’re going to get you into fighting shape soon enough.”
“Jimmy?” Dean is there immediately. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit,” Jimmy whispers.
Dean grins, clearly relieved. “That’s good to hear, partner. You should be feeling a hell of a lot better soon.”
“Good to know,” Jimmy says. “I need to talk to you-privately.”
“Sam? Samuel? Give us a minute?” Dean asks.
“Sure,” Samuel replies. “Holler if you need us.”
Dean glances up, and Jimmy follows his gaze to see the bag of blood on a pole. “Will do,” Dean promises. Once they’re gone, he adds, “That’s the second bag. Samuel said you were in bad shape.”
“I think I was,” Jimmy admits. “Sam was just standing there, Dean. He didn’t help you, and he didn’t want me to help you.”
Dean sighs. “Yeah, I figured as much.”
“You okay?” Jimmy asks.
“You’re asking me that?” Dean demands. “You’re the one who nearly killed yourself saving my life.”
“You’re worth it,” Jimmy insists.
“Fuck,” Dean swears. “You can’t say things like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not true,” Dean replies impatiently. “And because you’ve got Claire waiting for you. How do you think she’d respond to news of your death?”
“Not well,” Jimmy admits. “But that doesn’t change anything.”
Dean runs a rough hand down Jimmy’s face. “We’re going after the nest as soon as you’re feeling a little better. Samuel’s calling in reinforcements.”
“I’m sorry,” Jimmy says. “I know you don’t like them much.”
“I’m not the first person to hate his relatives,” Dean replies. “As long as you’re alive, I don’t give a fuck.”
“I’ll give it my best shot,” Jimmy promises.
Dean smiles faintly. “Good enough for now. Go back to sleep, Jimmy. I’ll let you know if something goes down.”
And Jimmy does go to sleep, with Dean’s hand clasped firmly in his own.
~~~~~
Jimmy is never clear how much time he spends unconscious, but by the time Samuel has pumped several pints of blood into him, he’s feeling a lot better, and the rest of the Campbell clan have descended on them.
He later learns that Dean refuses to leave him behind, or leave Jimmy with anyone else, which explains why Dean stays back with Jimmy and Gwen without an argument when Samuel gives them their assignments. At least Gwen seems marginally more welcoming towards Jimmy than the rest of the Campbells.
Dean insists that Jimmy stay in the car, and Jimmy doesn’t argue. He tries to stay alert, and he keeps a long knife unsheathed in his lap just in case. Gwen puts herself between the car and the nest, and Dean pulls a machete.
The nest is extensive, and they certainly need all the help they can get to shut it down. Jimmy wishes he could be of assistance, but he knows he’d be more of a hindrance than a help. His hands are still shaking, and it’s going to be a few days before he’s ready for a real hunt.
Between them, Dean and Gwen kill four vamps, and when it looks like a fifth is getting away, Jimmy gets out of the car and chops its head off.
“Nice one,” Gwen says, and Jimmy believes she means it.
As long as Dean is still alive, Jimmy doesn’t give a rat’s ass of what Dean’s family thinks, but he suspects that Gwen’s on their side, and that Samuel might be as well. From what Jimmy had seen, Samuel is at least a little impressed at what Jimmy can do.
Jimmy sits in the truck while Dean and Sam exchange a few words. Even from a distance, it’s easy to see the strain in their relationship. After a few minutes, they nod at each other, and Sam turns on his heel and rejoins the other Campbells, who are apparently finishing the cleanup.
Samuel comes over to say goodbye, shaking both their hands and wishing them well. “Give me a call if you need me,” Samuel says.
Dean relaxes slightly. “Thanks for your help.”
Samuel gives Jimmy a long look that makes Jimmy feel like a bug under a microscope. “Take care of your partner, Jimmy.”
“I always do.”
Samuel nods, apparently satisfied, and Dean pulls out.
“What about Sam?” Jimmy asks a few miles down the road.
Dean shakes his head. “I told him to call if he needs us, but we don’t split up again, and we don’t trust him. That’s-that’s not Sam, Jimmy. My brother would never have stood there and let me get turned.”
“So, why did he do it?” Jimmy asks softly.
Dean sighs. “If I got turned, I could get into the nest.”
Jimmy frowns. “What if you’d killed somebody?”
“Yeah, well, I’m not sure Sam cares about that,” Dean mutters.
Jimmy lets the silence hang before asking, “What do you think is wrong with him?”
“Maybe it was going through hell,” Dean says. “Maybe whatever brought him back missed a piece.” He sighs. “I think I’m going to have to call Cas in on this one if we’re going to find out, though. Bobby hasn’t turned up anything, and Sam hasn’t really talked to him.”
Jimmy wonders if Sam wouldn’t be more willing to hook up with Dean again if it weren’t for Jimmy’s presence; he remembers the expression on Sam’s face when he tried to pull Jimmy away from Dean. He’d looked disappointed when he realized Jimmy was going to be able to heal Dean, as though Jimmy had just thwarted him.
That kind of single-minded, emotionless drives scares Jimmy just a little bit, but Sam and the Campbells underestimate Jimmy. He’s not weak, and he’d shoot any of them in a heartbeat if it meant saving Dean’s life.
“Where’s our next hunt?” Jimmy asks.
Dean shrugs. “You know, if we push it a little, we can make it to Claire’s next soccer game. How does that sound?”
Jimmy smiles, not one to pass up time with his kid. “That sounds good.”
Dean reaches out to pat Jimmy’s leg, and then leaves his hand there. “For right now, it’s just us, partner.”
Jimmy feels a pang. He loves Dean enough to wish the reunion with Sam had gone better, but he’s not sorry to have Dean to himself. “I’m sorry about Sam,” Jimmy finally offers, putting his hand over Dean’s.
“Don’t worry about it.” Dean manages a smile that reaches his eyes. “Where there’s life there’s hope, right?”
“That’s what they say,” Jimmy replies, and holds on to Dean’s hand like a lifeline.
Things could be worse, Jimmy thinks. He could have lost Dean in that alley.
Jimmy realizes he’s not quite as angry as he’s been recently. He’s still a little too tired for that, and a little too thankful to have Dean’s hand, warm and alive, under his own.
So, Jimmy sends up a silent, reluctant prayer of thanks, and just keeps hanging on to Dean.
~~~~~
They’re on the road a short time later with the baby in the backseat of Sam’s car, since he has seatbelts. Jimmy can tell that Sam doesn’t want anything to do with the kid, and he’s a little disconcerted by Sam’s total disinterest, even distaste. He gets not liking kids, but this is something else altogether.
“Look, when we get there, stick close to me, okay?” Dean says, breaking into Jimmy’s thoughts.
“Are you worried?” Jimmy asks.
Dean shakes his head. “I don’t know what I am right now. Are you really okay?”
Jimmy touches the rapidly swelling area under his left eye. “I’ll be fine. It’s just bruises.”
“Your throat?”
“I’m fine.”
Dean raises a hand in supplication. “Sorry. I was just checking.”
Jimmy knows he shouldn’t have snapped, but he doesn’t have it in him to apologize right now. He’s still angry, and he doesn’t trust himself to say anything.
He leans his forehead against the cool glass of the window, looking out at the darkness beyond, the silence hanging between them uncomfortable and tense.
The compound doesn’t look all that promising; it looks more like a fortress, and maybe it’s just because it’s after dark, but when they go inside, it’s dim, dank, and gray. Jimmy hasn’t seen a lot of hunter’s lairs, but he can’t help but compare the Campbell compound to Bobby’s house, which is shabby, but welcoming.
Jimmy carries the baby inside, but he wishes he could keep a hand on his weapon, even if that wouldn’t go over too well with their hosts.
“Hey, Sam.” The large, imposing bald man stepped forward, looking at first Sam, then Dean. “And Dean. It’s good to see you again.”
“Yeah, same here,” Dean replies, his shoulders stiff with tension. “And this is Jimmy.”
Jimmy feels all eyes on him, and there isn’t one person present who appears welcoming.
Samuel looks at the baby. “And this must be the shapeshifter.”
“Isn’t he just the cutest little monster?” A woman approaches Jimmy with a smile, reaching out to touch the baby’s hand.
Jimmy takes a step back.
“Jimmy, Dean, this is Gwen,” Sam says. “And we’ve also got Christian, Mark, and Johnny. It’s okay, Jimmy. Give the baby to Samuel.”
Jimmy looks at Dean for direction. “What are you going to do with the kid?” Dean asks.
“Raise it,” Samuel replies with a smile. “Relax, Dean, we aren’t going to hurt him. We’re family. We wouldn’t lie to you.”
“That remains to be seen,” Dean says with a dark look at Sam.
Samuel holds out his hands. “Let me see this guy.”
Jimmy thinks these people are creepy as hell, but Samuel appears to be genuinely interested in holding Bobby, so he passes the baby over. Samuel smiles and bounces the infant with practiced movements. “I haven’t held a baby in ages,” he says, looking at Dean. “Not since your mom, and she was tiny, and bald as a cue ball.”
Dean is silent, his hands shoved in his pockets, clearly still wary.
“We’re just asking you to give us a chance,” Samuel says, his eyes still on Dean.
“Hey, we don’t need you,” Christian says belligerently. “You can take your boyfriend and go home. We’ll look after the kid.”
Dean bristles. “Don’t even go there.”
“We’ve heard some stories,” Mark says, swaggering over to Jimmy. “Your friend here is supposed to be a miracle worker.”
Jimmy stiffens. They can’t afford to have that information floating around.
“Yeah, we’ve heard he does more than bleed.” Christian’s smile holds an edge of cruelty. “And that he’s not much of a hunter otherwise.”
Jimmy can see that Dean is about to lose it, and he puts a hand on Dean’s arm, trying to calm him. He knows it’s a mistake as soon as he sees the speculation on the Campbells’ faces. Jimmy has just confirmed some of their suspicions, and he can see the contempt in their eyes.
They already think he’s weak; this just makes him look weaker.
“That’s enough,” Samuel says, a quiet command in his voice. “I’m sure Dean has his reasons for having Jimmy as a partner.”
Dean doesn’t say anything, but he gives Sam a narrow-eyed glare, and Sam says, “Lay off, guys. Dean’s my brother.”
Jimmy notices that Sam doesn’t say anything about him, but they barely know each other, so maybe that’s understandable.
Dogs bark outside, and Samuel frowns. “Check the perimeter,” he barks, handing the baby to Jimmy. “There’s a panic room. You’ll be safe in there. Sam, show him and Dean where to go, then get your ass back up here.”
The panic room is as substantial as Bobby’s, but Jimmy doesn’t feel safe there. He feels more like battle lines have been drawn, and it’s him against the Campbells. He supposes he should feel lucky that Dean doesn’t seem to be throwing Jimmy to the wolves, but he doesn’t.
And there’s that same anger again, Jimmy thinks. He and Dean had a good thing going before Sam showed up, before the Campbells had appeared. He hates that their relationship is in jeopardy, or that they’re looking down their noses at Dean because he’s partnered up with someone like Jimmy.
“I’m sorry,” Jimmy says quietly, keeping his ears open for sounds from outside.
Dean has his gun trained on the door. “Sorry for what?”
“For outing you in front of them,” Jimmy replies. “I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s not your fault they’re assholes,” Dean snaps. “Dammit, Jimmy. They don’t have a fucking clue who I am, or who you are. Sam should know better, but he’s apparently drunk the Kool-Aid.”
The baby whimpers in Jimmy’s arms. “Maybe they’re right about me. I’m not much of a hunter.”
“Shut up,” Dean says fiercely. “You’re my fucking partner, and that’s the end of it.”
Jimmy closes his eyes briefly. There isn’t much he can count on in this life-he can’t even count on the fact that he’ll continue to be in control of his body-but he can trust Dean. “Okay.”
There’s a banging on the door, and then it’s pulled off its hinges. Dean empties his clip into the shapeshifter’s chest, but it doesn’t even pause. It knocks Dean out of the way, and Dean hits the wall with a thud.
Dean doesn’t get up, and the shapeshifter turns his attention to Jimmy. Jimmy puts his back to the wall, the baby wailing in his arms.
“Give me the child. He should be raised with his own kind.”
Jimmy can’t really argue with that, but he’s not prepared to hand the baby over without some kind of a fight. Jimmy glances down at his innocent face, and he knows that in twenty years, assuming that he and Dean are still around, they might be hunting him.
“Over my dead body,” Jimmy replies calmly.
The shapeshifter smiles. “That can be arranged.”
With the baby in his arms, Jimmy can’t do much to defend himself, and the shapeshifter’s hand closes around Jimmy’s throat. For the second time that day, Jimmy finds himself unable to breathe, and he loses consciousness just as the baby is pulled from his arms.
~~~~~
“Jimmy. Come on, Jimmy.”
Jimmy opens his eyes slowly. “Dean?” he croaks.
“Yeah, buddy,” Dean says. “You ready to get out of here?”
“Are you okay?”
“Better than you,” Dean replies. “Can you stand?”
“There’s no fucking way I’m showing them any weakness,” Jimmy growls.
Dean grins. “Atta boy.”
When they get to the main room, they find Mark dead and the others bruised and battered. Jimmy tunes out the conversation; he’s too tired and in too much pain to focus, and Dean will fill him in later if there’s anything Jimmy needs to know.
“Hey,” Dean says quietly. “We’re heading out.”
Sam walks out with them. “Dean-”
“I want to work with you,” Dean says quietly. “But I won’t work with them. Right now, we need to lick our wounds and heal up. Call me if you get a case, or you can meet us at Bobby’s.”
Sam nods. “Maybe I will.”
“Come on, Jimmy. Let’s get a move on,” Dean says, climbing behind the wheel.
“So, Bobby’s,” Jimmy says as they pull out, not really caring.
Dean shrugs. “I need a couple of days to think, and you need to recover.”
“I’m fine,” Jimmy protests, but there isn’t much force behind it.
Dean smiles, but there isn’t much humor in his expression. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure I am, and I want to talk to Bobby face to face.”
Jimmy closes his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault,” Dean replies grimly. “Look, get some sleep. I’ll let you take over in a while.”
Six hours later, they switch off, but Dean stays awake, staring out the window, a desolate expression on his face. “You want to talk about it?” Jimmy finally asks.
“Probably about as much as you do,” Dean replies. “How much pain are you in?”
Ever since Dean found out that the wounds hurt, he checks in on Jimmy’s pain levels on a fairly regular basis. Jimmy has learned not to prevaricate. “About a six.”
Dean glances over at him. “This is why you’re better than the rest of them, you know. Anybody else who had to live with this crap, they probably would have eaten a bullet by now.”
Jimmy’s hands tighten around the steering wheel. There are still days when he thinks about eating a bullet; there are days when he thinks he’s a coward for not doing it.
“Yeah, well.”
“I hate that it’s back,” Dean says quietly. “I know you can’t help healing people who need it, but it’s probably going to kill you one of these days if you push it too hard.”
“It might,” Jimmy acknowledges.
Dean smiles faintly. “Now you sound like a Winchester.”
Jimmy figures he can take that as a compliment.
~~~~~
Jimmy has spent enough time at Bobby’s place to feel almost at home; it’s a decent base, although Bobby’s about as angry as Jimmy has ever seen him.
“What is that damn fool brother of yours thinking?” he demands, more than once.
Dean just shakes his head. “There’s something wrong with him,” he insists. “But I don’t know what it is.”
Sam calls a few days into their stay to let Dean know he has a case, but that he’s got it covered.
When Dean hangs up, he glances over at Jimmy. “Seems Cas showed up,” Dean says quietly. “He’s definitely got a new vessel.”
Jimmy breathes a sigh of relief. It’s not like that’s a surprise, but it’s nice to have confirmation. “Did Sam need help?”
“He said he and Cas took care of it,” Dean replies. “It was some weapon from heaven, probably like the one Cas got us to retrieve for him. He said Cas seemed kind of pissed at me.”
Jimmy raises his eyebrows. “So?”
Dean smiles. “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I said.”
“We going to meet up with him for the next hunt?”
Dean shakes his head. “He’ll call again when he feels like it.” He sits down heavily. “I don’t know, Jimmy. Sam has always been the kind of kid that would run off on his own, but I thought we were past this.”
Jimmy wishes he could offer some form of comfort, but there’s nothing he can say. “I’m sorry, Dean.”
“Not your fault.” Dean forces a smile. “Besides, we’ve got a new job.”
“What’s that?” Jimmy asks.
Dean grins. “Bobby needs his soul back, so we’re going international.”
~~~~~
Jimmy has never been out of the country, and normally it would take time to get a passport, but Bobby’s on a tear to get one over on Crowley and get his soul back, and Dean is really, really good at creating fake documents. They’re on a red-eye to Edinburgh that night, and Jimmy is a little surprised to realize just how freaked out Dean is by flying. Jimmy suggests that Dean have a drink-or a few drinks-to get him through the flight. Dean insists on staying sharp, though, and in between puking, he clutches at the arms of his seat.
Jimmy wants to reach out, but he’s not sure how Dean will take the gesture, so he keeps his hands to himself and makes sure Dean has water or ginger ale to drink.
Finally, though, the interminable flight is over, and they’re heading for the grave where Crowley’s bones are buried.
The thing is, other than the fact that they’re digging someone up and threatening to burn the bones, it could almost be a vacation. Dean threatens Crowley over the phone, flicks his lighter a few times, and then they hand the bones over to Crowley once he’s given Bobby his soul back. And that’s that.
“When do we fly back?” Jimmy asks.
“Couple of days,” Dean replies. “I figured we could see a bit of the countryside, drink a few beers, maybe visit a distillery.”
Jimmy nods; he’s noticed that Dean’s been drinking more since Sam showed up. Still, he can’t exactly blame Dean, because he’s been drinking a little more these days, too.
And he can’t remember the last time he had a vacation. They don’t get breaks in this line of work.
“That sounds good,” he says.
They stay at a little bed and breakfast that first night, in a village near the gravesite, and Dean fucks Jimmy slow and easy. He’s so careful, so gentle, and Jimmy groans into his pillow, feeling Dean’s hand on his dick as they both come with muffled cries.
Afterward, Dean spoons Jimmy on the narrow bed, and Jimmy feels Dean’s lips brush the back of his neck.
Jimmy closes his eyes and thinks that if he can just hold on to this, all the shit he’s been through might be worth it. As much as he misses Amelia and Claire and his life with them, he still loves Dean, and he loves this life, too.
Sometimes, Jimmy thinks his life started the day Dean asked him to go on the road with him. The person he is now, and the person he was before he’d said yes-it’s like night and day. Jimmy can’t imagine being that guy again. He can’t imagine going back to that ordinary life.
When they fly back, they’re both a little more relaxed after a couple of days with no mention of Sam, or hunting, or the strange way monsters are acting. It’s easy for Jimmy to be with Dean, their conversations rambling between stories of their childhoods, or past relationships, or old hunts.
Maybe he and Dean don’t have much in common, Jimmy thinks, but they share the important things-they would do anything for family, and they need to be needed.
As soon as they land, Dean checks his messages and finds one from Sam.
“We’ve got another hunt, if you’re up for it,” Dean says. “Seven girls have gone missing in as many days.”
Jimmy winces, not really liking the idea of working with Sam again. “Sam isn’t going to want me around.”
“Sam doesn’t have a choice,” Dean shoots back. “We’re a package deal.”
When Jimmy opens his mouth to argue, Dean cuts him off. “I blackmailed Cas into getting a new vessel to get you back,” he says. “So don’t be an idiot.”
Jimmy smiles. “Now you sound like Bobby.”
“There are worse people to sound like,” Dean says. “So, you up for it?”
Jimmy shrugs. “He’s your brother, and he needs our help, so yeah.”
They drive straight through to Limestone, Illinois, where all the disappearances have occurred and meet up with Sam at a motel.
“I got two rooms,” Sam says casually. “I figured you’d prefer it.”
“Thanks,” Dean says, taking the second key from Sam. “We do. So, what have we got?”
Sam fills them in, and Jimmy flips through the missing persons fliers that the parents had posted around town. The girls in the photos aren’t that much older than Claire, and he feels a sudden urge to call her, to warn her yet again not to take candy from strangers or go home with people she doesn’t know.
Dean looks over his shoulder and murmurs. “Damn. They’re so fucking young.”
Jimmy glances up in time to see a strange expression cross Sam’s face. “You’re getting old, Dean,” he jokes.
Dean shakes his head. “They’re not that much older than Claire.”
“Claire?” Sam asks, frowning.
Jimmy’s a little surprised that Sam doesn’t remember, but maybe Sam has seen too much, and has saved too many people, to recall the name of every kid he helped rescue. “My daughter,” Jimmy reminds him.
“Oh, right.” And there’s nothing in Sam’s voice, no emotion at all. Jimmy knows that he doesn’t know Sam, but this guy doesn’t match the little Jimmy does know about him. “Well, I thought Dean and I would start by interviewing the family of the latest victim. Jimmy, maybe you could question the others?”
Jimmy glances at Dean to gauge his reaction. Dean doesn’t look too happy, and his jaw is tense, but then he throws Jimmy an apologetic look, and Jimmy knows he’s lost this battle.
He can’t shake the feeling that Sam wants to get rid of him for whatever reason, and while Dean had made it pretty clear to the Campbell clan that they’re a package deal, this is Sam, no matter how changed he might be. Jimmy has always known he wouldn’t be able to compete with Sam for Dean’s affections.
“That’s fine,” Jimmy finally says. “I guess I’ll put on a suit.”
Dean and Sam start with the first victim; Jimmy heads for the house of the next most recent. Her parents, a Mr. and Mrs. Graham, are pale, their eyes shadowed, and they greet Jimmy with relief mixed with desperation. It’s fairly obvious that they’re grasping at straws, willing to accept whatever help is offered in the hope of finding their daughter alive.
Karen’s room is a shrine to vampires. Jimmy recognizes some of the names from conversations he’d had with Claire, although she’s more inured to the charm of the supernatural than this girl. Claire has been the vessel of an angel; vampires can’t really compete.
Although Jimmy wonders what will happen when the next fad is angels, or fallen angels; he doesn’t think Claire will be completely safe from that.
Karen has put a password on her computer, but when Jimmy asks, Mrs. Graham says, “I think it’s Edward. At least it was the last time she told me. I insisted that I have all her passwords just in case.”
Mrs. Graham swallows a sob at that, and Jimmy tries to keep his distance, but all he can think about is Claire, and losing her, and what that would do to him.
“I have a daughter just a little younger than Karen,” he admits. “I can only imagine what you’re going through.”
She manages a watery smile. “Thank you. The police think she ran off. We tried to tell them that she isn’t that kind of girl, but-”
“They think you don’t know your daughter,” Jimmy murmurs.
“Exactly,” she says. “Whatever happened to her, she didn’t run away.”
“I believe you,” Jimmy promises. “Was there a place she liked to go?”
“The Black Rose,” Mrs. Graham replies, wiping her eyes. “She went there as often as she could.”
Jimmy nods. “Thank you. You’ve been very helpful. I’m just going to see what I can find on her computer, and I promise you, I’ll contact you as soon as I know something.”
Jimmy is no stranger to teenage girls, and so he checks Karen’s browser history, her favorites, and a few other places. By the time he’s done, he has a pretty clear picture of Karen, and her secret desires.
She wants a boy who will love her completely, who is mysterious and older. Jimmy doesn’t understand it, but maybe he’s just too old to get it. He feels old now, terribly old, like the world is passing him by, and his only real knowledge comes from hunting monsters, which most people don’t believe in. Most of the time, Jimmy feels as though he occupies some kind of netherworld, with Claire his only point of contact to his former life, and Dean his only contact with his new one. Jimmy figures that if he loses either one of them, he’s going to be seriously fucked.
Operating under some instinct that Jimmy can’t quantify, he calls Dean before heading for the next victim’s house. “Where are you?”
“At a place called the Black Rose,” Dean replies. “It’s pretty fucking lame.”
Jimmy smiles. “So I’ve heard. That was the last place Karen was seen, too, and she was pretty taken with it.”
“And vampires?”
“And vampires,” Jimmy confirms. “Do you want me to meet you there?”
“Yeah, I would,” Dean says. “I’ll see you soon.”
Jimmy would have normally changed out of his suit, but he doesn’t think he has the time. It’s not that he thinks Sam is incapable of watching Dean’s back, but Jimmy knows he’ll be able to heal Dean if something does go wrong.
At least, he thinks he’ll be able to.
Jimmy hasn’t healed anyone since Castiel repossessed him, so maybe he’s lost that gift. But there’s at least a chance.
The Black Rose is about what Jimmy pictured. It’s full of teenagers dressed in black with multiple piercings and tattoos. Jimmy sticks out like a sore thumb, and he’s sure Dean and Sam do, too. That should make them easier to find, but he can’t spot them.
Jimmy makes a slow circuit, and when he can’t locate Dean, he tries calling. The phone rings, but there’s no answer, and so he walks up to the bar. He gets the bartender’s attention by the simple expedient of holding up a $20 bill. Jimmy passes him the money as he asks, “Have you seen a couple of guys around 30? Not dressed in black, and one of them is huge.”
The bartender nods. “Yeah, they stuck out almost as much as you do, dude.”
Jimmy smiles. “I suppose. Did you see them?”
“They went out the back a little bit ago,” the bartender replies. “I haven’t seen them since.”
“Thanks,” Jimmy replies, and takes off.
He emerges out of the club into an alley and looks both ways. At first, he doesn’t see anything of note, but then he hears a scuffling sound. It might be rats, but then Jimmy thinks he hears Dean’s voice, and he starts jogging.
Jimmy skids to a stop when he sees Sam standing there, his arms hanging at his sides. Dean is being held up against a dumpster by a large man. In the next moment, Jimmy realizes that the man is actually a vampire, and Sam is still just standing there. Jimmy doesn’t even think about it. He starts running, pulling the hunting knife from the scabbard in the small of his back.
Jimmy drives the knife into the side of the vampire’s neck and wrenches it around. It’s not enough to kill him, but it’s enough for him to let Dean go. Dean drops to the ground, unconscious, and the vampire laughs through bloody teeth.
“I’ll be seeing you soon,” the vampire says and runs off, Jimmy’s knife still sticking out of his neck.
Jimmy drops to his knees next to Dean, feeling for a pulse. It’s there, but it’s weak and thready, and Dean’s mouth is stained with blood. Jimmy wraps a hand around the back of Dean’s neck. “Come on,” he mutters. “Come on.”
There’s nothing. Normally, Jimmy’s healing ability would have kicked in by now. “No,” he mutters. “Don’t do this. Don’t do this.”
Jimmy still has no idea who or what gave him the stigmata and the ability to heal; he just knows it wasn’t Castiel, and he suspects these so-called gifts are from an otherwise absent God. It’s not that Jimmy doesn’t believe in God these days; it’s that he mostly hates God for being a fucking absentee father, for not doing anything to keep his angels in line.
For making it possible for Castiel to take Jimmy as a vessel; for twisting up Jimmy’s love and devotion so he said yes without knowing what he was getting himself into.
But that anger, ever-present since the first time Castiel vacated the premises, rises up with renewed ferocity at the thought of losing Dean.
“No!” Jimmy shouts, not really sure who he’s shouting at. “I’m not losing him, too! You’re going to fucking let me do this! If you don’t, I’ll make sure no one ever gets to use my gifts. I’ll eat my gun.”
“Jimmy,” Sam says from behind him. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Back the fuck off,” Jimmy warns him. “I can do this.”
“Samuel knows of a cure,” Sam tells him, putting a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder and pulling at him.
Jimmy calmly draws his gun and points it at Sam. “I said back the fuck off and let me handle this.”
Sam raises his hands. “But-”
“You let this happen!” Jimmy shouts. “Back off, or I will shoot you.”
Sam backs off, apparently sensing how serious Jimmy is in that moment. Jimmy puts one hand on Dean’s neck, but Dean doesn’t show any sign of stirring. “You will let me have this,” Jimmy mutters to an absent God. “I’ve given up everything. I’ve lost almost everything. I am not losing Dean. So, you will fucking let me have him.”
For a long moment, there’s still nothing, and then Jimmy feels the familiar energy rush through him. He can distantly sense Sam approach him from behind, apparently intent on pulling Jimmy away. “No, Jimmy, you can’t,” Sam begins, and Jimmy feels a touch on his shoulder.
No one has ever touched him while he’s healing someone, but Jimmy isn’t all that surprised when Sam is knocked back on his ass.
He knows this is going to be a tough one. The vampire’s blood has already had time to work its way through Dean’s system, changing him, and Jimmy remembers how difficult it had been to heal Dean’s busted knee and counteract the werewolf poison.
When Jimmy’s done, when he knows Dean is safe, he slumps across Dean’s body, feeling the last of the life leaving his body.
~~~~~
Jimmy doesn’t regain consciousness so much as slowly become aware of the sounds of an argument occurring close to him. His limbs feel leaden, and his head is buzzing, but he can make out the words even if he can’t respond.
“It wasn’t just me, dammit!” That’s Dean’s voice. “You knew what Jimmy was capable of. You knew he’d try to save me!”
“I just froze,” Sam protests. “I’m sorry. I tried to tell Jimmy that Samuel had a cure, but he pulled a gun on me.”
And I’d do it again, Jimmy thinks, but can’t say.
“He’s my fucking partner,” Dean shoots back. “And he can heal people. What did you think he was going to do?”
“I figured he’d listen to me,” Sam replies. “Look, Dean, I’m sorry. I froze, and I put you and Jimmy in jeopardy. There’s nothing I can say to make up for that.”
“No, there isn’t,” Dean replies bitterly. “Fuck, Sam. He should be in the hospital. I had to do CPR to get him breathing again. He lost a shitload of blood, but I can’t take him to get a transfusion because he’d end up in a psych ward.”
“He might not,” Sam protests.
“Yeah, well, I’m not willing to take that risk,” Dean says. “Because you know how much of a hassle it would be to break him out.”
“I’ll call Samuel and have him bring transfusion equipment,” Sam says. “I know he’s done it before.”
“And if I think he’s hurting Jimmy, I’m going to kill him,” Dean says. “I went two months without him, and I’m not doing that again. I fucking mean it, Sam.”
“I believe you,” Sam says in a placating tone. “I’ll call him now.”
“You do that.”
Jimmy wants to offer some kind of reassurance, but he still can’t move. He feels Dean’s hand close around his; it’s not often that Dean displays any kind of affection where anybody can see. Jimmy wants to squeeze back, but he can’t even move that much. Jimmy has no idea what that means. Maybe he’s going to be trapped inside his own body, which is a different kind of hell than having Castiel use him as a vessel.
“I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but I need you to come back,” Dean murmurs. “And if you can hear me, I expect you not to mention this conversation.” He laughs, and the sound is a little broken. “I’m going to kick your ass when you get back. I almost lost you, and I can’t handle that. I need somebody to watch my back, and that’s apparently you, since Sam can’t be trusted to do the job. Just-wake up, okay?”
Jimmy only wishes he could, but he’s unconscious again shortly thereafter.
~~~~~
He wakes again when he feels a prick and a burn in his right arm, and then-well, Jimmy can’t quite describe the feeling. His arms and legs develop pins and needles, and Jimmy opens his eyes with some effort.
“There he is.” Samuel smile down at him. “Just hold still, Jimmy. We’re going to get you into fighting shape soon enough.”
“Jimmy?” Dean is there immediately. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit,” Jimmy whispers.
Dean grins, clearly relieved. “That’s good to hear, partner. You should be feeling a hell of a lot better soon.”
“Good to know,” Jimmy says. “I need to talk to you-privately.”
“Sam? Samuel? Give us a minute?” Dean asks.
“Sure,” Samuel replies. “Holler if you need us.”
Dean glances up, and Jimmy follows his gaze to see the bag of blood on a pole. “Will do,” Dean promises. Once they’re gone, he adds, “That’s the second bag. Samuel said you were in bad shape.”
“I think I was,” Jimmy admits. “Sam was just standing there, Dean. He didn’t help you, and he didn’t want me to help you.”
Dean sighs. “Yeah, I figured as much.”
“You okay?” Jimmy asks.
“You’re asking me that?” Dean demands. “You’re the one who nearly killed yourself saving my life.”
“You’re worth it,” Jimmy insists.
“Fuck,” Dean swears. “You can’t say things like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not true,” Dean replies impatiently. “And because you’ve got Claire waiting for you. How do you think she’d respond to news of your death?”
“Not well,” Jimmy admits. “But that doesn’t change anything.”
Dean runs a rough hand down Jimmy’s face. “We’re going after the nest as soon as you’re feeling a little better. Samuel’s calling in reinforcements.”
“I’m sorry,” Jimmy says. “I know you don’t like them much.”
“I’m not the first person to hate his relatives,” Dean replies. “As long as you’re alive, I don’t give a fuck.”
“I’ll give it my best shot,” Jimmy promises.
Dean smiles faintly. “Good enough for now. Go back to sleep, Jimmy. I’ll let you know if something goes down.”
And Jimmy does go to sleep, with Dean’s hand clasped firmly in his own.
~~~~~
Jimmy is never clear how much time he spends unconscious, but by the time Samuel has pumped several pints of blood into him, he’s feeling a lot better, and the rest of the Campbell clan have descended on them.
He later learns that Dean refuses to leave him behind, or leave Jimmy with anyone else, which explains why Dean stays back with Jimmy and Gwen without an argument when Samuel gives them their assignments. At least Gwen seems marginally more welcoming towards Jimmy than the rest of the Campbells.
Dean insists that Jimmy stay in the car, and Jimmy doesn’t argue. He tries to stay alert, and he keeps a long knife unsheathed in his lap just in case. Gwen puts herself between the car and the nest, and Dean pulls a machete.
The nest is extensive, and they certainly need all the help they can get to shut it down. Jimmy wishes he could be of assistance, but he knows he’d be more of a hindrance than a help. His hands are still shaking, and it’s going to be a few days before he’s ready for a real hunt.
Between them, Dean and Gwen kill four vamps, and when it looks like a fifth is getting away, Jimmy gets out of the car and chops its head off.
“Nice one,” Gwen says, and Jimmy believes she means it.
As long as Dean is still alive, Jimmy doesn’t give a rat’s ass of what Dean’s family thinks, but he suspects that Gwen’s on their side, and that Samuel might be as well. From what Jimmy had seen, Samuel is at least a little impressed at what Jimmy can do.
Jimmy sits in the truck while Dean and Sam exchange a few words. Even from a distance, it’s easy to see the strain in their relationship. After a few minutes, they nod at each other, and Sam turns on his heel and rejoins the other Campbells, who are apparently finishing the cleanup.
Samuel comes over to say goodbye, shaking both their hands and wishing them well. “Give me a call if you need me,” Samuel says.
Dean relaxes slightly. “Thanks for your help.”
Samuel gives Jimmy a long look that makes Jimmy feel like a bug under a microscope. “Take care of your partner, Jimmy.”
“I always do.”
Samuel nods, apparently satisfied, and Dean pulls out.
“What about Sam?” Jimmy asks a few miles down the road.
Dean shakes his head. “I told him to call if he needs us, but we don’t split up again, and we don’t trust him. That’s-that’s not Sam, Jimmy. My brother would never have stood there and let me get turned.”
“So, why did he do it?” Jimmy asks softly.
Dean sighs. “If I got turned, I could get into the nest.”
Jimmy frowns. “What if you’d killed somebody?”
“Yeah, well, I’m not sure Sam cares about that,” Dean mutters.
Jimmy lets the silence hang before asking, “What do you think is wrong with him?”
“Maybe it was going through hell,” Dean says. “Maybe whatever brought him back missed a piece.” He sighs. “I think I’m going to have to call Cas in on this one if we’re going to find out, though. Bobby hasn’t turned up anything, and Sam hasn’t really talked to him.”
Jimmy wonders if Sam wouldn’t be more willing to hook up with Dean again if it weren’t for Jimmy’s presence; he remembers the expression on Sam’s face when he tried to pull Jimmy away from Dean. He’d looked disappointed when he realized Jimmy was going to be able to heal Dean, as though Jimmy had just thwarted him.
That kind of single-minded, emotionless drives scares Jimmy just a little bit, but Sam and the Campbells underestimate Jimmy. He’s not weak, and he’d shoot any of them in a heartbeat if it meant saving Dean’s life.
“Where’s our next hunt?” Jimmy asks.
Dean shrugs. “You know, if we push it a little, we can make it to Claire’s next soccer game. How does that sound?”
Jimmy smiles, not one to pass up time with his kid. “That sounds good.”
Dean reaches out to pat Jimmy’s leg, and then leaves his hand there. “For right now, it’s just us, partner.”
Jimmy feels a pang. He loves Dean enough to wish the reunion with Sam had gone better, but he’s not sorry to have Dean to himself. “I’m sorry about Sam,” Jimmy finally offers, putting his hand over Dean’s.
“Don’t worry about it.” Dean manages a smile that reaches his eyes. “Where there’s life there’s hope, right?”
“That’s what they say,” Jimmy replies, and holds on to Dean’s hand like a lifeline.
Things could be worse, Jimmy thinks. He could have lost Dean in that alley.
Jimmy realizes he’s not quite as angry as he’s been recently. He’s still a little too tired for that, and a little too thankful to have Dean’s hand, warm and alive, under his own.
So, Jimmy sends up a silent, reluctant prayer of thanks, and just keeps hanging on to Dean.