Now and Always- Chapter 11
Only one more chapter after this. It's a little hard to believe that this story is coming to a close.
Previous parts can be found here.
Chapter 11
“Day 400: Things are getting better here. We’ve been able to open up more of our section, and I know the others are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. But if we get through here, and I still haven’t found Spike… I don’t know what will happen then. I can’t leave without him.” ~Excerpt from the diary of Buffy Summers
Wesley scanned the crowd standing around the baggage claim for any sign of Buffy, Spike, or the two Slayers they had with them. “Do you see them?”
Faith shook her head. “No. I think-” She broke off. “I think we’ve been found.”
Wesley caught sight of Abby weaving her way through the crowd, grinning broadly. She stopped just as she reached them, her expression now a little shy. “Hey.”
“I almost didn’t recognize you, Abby,” Wesley said. “I think you must have grown six inches.”
“Only four.” She blushed as she said it. She’d grown quite a bit, losing the baby fat and turning into a tall, well-built young woman who looked older than barely fifteen. “It’s good to see you guys.”
“We’ve got your room all ready for you, kid,” Faith replied. “It’s good to have you back.”
Her grin broadened at that. “It’s good to be back. I know Talia wishes she could stay.”
“How is she?” Wesley asked. He remembered the rush to get her out of the city, and the fear that they would lose her.
Abby shook her head. “Still really stiff. Nobody knows if it’s permanent or not, but she’s doing good, all things considered. Buffy and Spike didn’t want her trying to push through the crowd, but they didn’t want to tell her that either.”
She led the way to an area out of the way of the crush of people. Buffy and Talia were talking animatedly, although Wesley couldn’t quite make out the subject of their conversation. “Wes!” Buffy greeted him enthusiastically, giving him a hug, and then doing the same with Faith. He noted that the gesture wasn’t as awkward as he might have expected it to be. “You guys are looking good.”
“The hotel is almost like a resort now,” Faith replied. “Gotta say, I feel like I’m on vacation half the time.”
“Same here,” Buffy agreed.
“How is Spike?” Wesley asked, keeping his voice low.
She shrugged uncomfortably. “Good, I think. It’s a transition for both of us.”
“Where is Spike?” Faith asked.
“Men’s room.” Buffy’s smile was bright and genuine. “He’s still getting used to that part of being human.”
Talia snickered. “That and having his ears pop on the flight.”
Although Wesley could sense some uneasiness under the surface, it was clear that Buffy was doing a lot better than she had been before leaving L.A. “I take it he’s getting used to being human.”
“Getting there.” Spike’s voice came from behind him, and Wesley jumped. “A little on edge, Watcher?”
“I think we’re all still on edge,” was Wesley’s dry response. “Can we help with the luggage?”
He made sure to grab Talia’s bag, not wanting the girl to be taxed more than necessary.
Spike and the two girls were quiet as Buffy asked about some of the Slayers she’d left behind. The gossip was soothing-normal. Wesley didn’t think that he was the only one who found normality strange these days.
~~~~~
“You kept it, huh?” Buffy asked, looking around the room.
Faith shrugged. “We figured you’d be back, and there are plenty of rooms. We can afford to keep one reserved for you.”
“How are things, really?”
They were alone. Talia had wanted to see everything that had changed while she’d been gone, and Spike had appeared interested in getting the grand tour, as had Abby. Buffy suspected that Wesley had known that she and Faith wanted to catch up.
Oddly enough, her relationship with Faith was definitely a sisterly one at this point.
“It’s good,” Faith replied. “Weird, you know, but good. We’re pulling in plenty of business. I meant to ask you and Spike if you wanted to help out while you were here, or if you really were on vacation.”
“If you need us,” Buffy said. “We haven’t done much of that since we left.”
“How are you?”
Buffy took a deep breath. “I don’t know. It’s just-I never thought we’d make it this far.”
“Me neither.”
There was a companionable silence, then Faith said, “Wes mentioned marriage the other day.”
Buffy’s eyes went wide. “Really?”
“Not seriously.” Faith didn’t meet her eyes. “I mean, it wasn’t a proposal or anything, more of a comment that it might be cool someday.”
“What did you say?”
“I said that maybe it would be.” She snorted. “Listen to us, B. You ever think we’d be here?”
Buffy shook her head, walking over to the window and looking out. The view was familiar and not at the same time. Everything was different now; there were moments when she felt as though she was living someone else’s life. “No. I don’t think I believed I’d get him back.” She turned, facing Faith, leaning against the windowsill. “Don’t tell Spike, but I miss Angel.”
“Me, too. We never made things right. I didn’t think he’d die.”
“Nobody ever thinks it could happen.” After a pause, Buffy changed the subject. “How are Connor and Dana?” Buffy asked. They were the two that everyone was probably most worried about once things opened up again.
Faith rolled her eyes. “They’re humping like bunnies is what they’re doing. Apparently they’ve decided that since there aren’t as many demons to kill, they can spend their free time with each other.” She grinned reluctantly. “Ellen is pleased, though. Connor’s memories of having a normal life are ‘giving him some balance,’ which helps Dana.” She made air quotes to indicate that those were Ellen’s words, not hers.
“Could be worse,” Buffy commented.
They both sobered, their eyes meeting. “It could always be worse,” Faith agreed. “Most of the time it is.”
Buffy straightened. “You got anything to eat around here? I’m starving.”
Faith just laughed. “With half a dozen Slayers around plus Connor, we keep the kitchen stocked.”
~~~~~
The hotel was much like he’d remembered it. Spike had sensed that Buffy wanted some time alone with Faith, and he hadn’t minded getting the tour with Abby and Talia.
“We’re discussing changing the training room around,” Wes commented as the girls tried out the throwing knives. Spike hadn’t been terribly surprised when they’d picked them up; put a Slayer in a room full of weapons, and she was going to be drawn to them.
“Moving it upstairs?”
“Something like that. Safety is no longer the issue that it was.” Wesley lowered his voice. “Giles told me that you wanted to see Ellen alone while you’re here.”
“That was his idea-his an’ Miriam’s. They think she can help.”
“She’s done wonders for Connor and Dana.” Wesley was quiet for a moment. “Nightmares?”
He shrugged, unwilling to get into it. “How are the girls settling in?”
“Better than I might have expected,” Wesley admitted. “Leslie is applying to UCLA. I don’t think she’ll have any trouble being accepted. Some of the other girls are talking about college as well.”
“Good for them.” Spike meant it. He well knew that age would eventually become a factor for a Slayer, and it wouldn’t hurt the girls to have a fallback plan.
After all, not every Slayer and shanshued vampire could get teaching positions.
Spike caught Wesley looking at him out of the corner of his eye. “Spit it out.”
“How is it? Being human?”
Spike sighed, tired of giving his stock answer, and knowing that he didn’t have to worry about hurting the other man’s feelings. “I don’t mind most of the time.”
“And the rest of the time?”
“Let’s just say I’ve decided that it isn’t worth the trouble of getting turned again. Doesn’t mean I have to enjoy every heartbeat.”
What Spike didn’t say was that being with Buffy made it all worthwhile, and being human made that just a little bit easier.
There was one question that had been niggling at him, though, ever since Buffy had passed along the information Wesley had given her about the shanshu.
“Can I ask you somethin’?”
“Of course.” Wesley looked at Spike, clearly giving him his full attention.
Spike moved his shoulders uncomfortably. “About this prophecy-did it say anything about Slayer blood?”
Wesley’s expression turned knowing. “Ah. I see. Buffy told me what happened. In truth, I’m not sure that her blood had anything to do with it.”
“What do you mean?”
“The prophecy said specifically that the souled vampire would undergo many trials before the shanshu, but can you be said to have experienced those trials if you don’t remember them?” Wesley shrugged. “It’s a philosophical question, of course, and I’m not sure it matters in your case.”
“You’re saying that the Slayer’s blood brought me back, an’ because of that, I turned human?”
Wesley shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. Prophecies are notoriously cryptic, and this one was no different.”
Spike fell silent, thinking about the implications of it all. He thought perhaps that Wesley was right. Did the mechanics mean anything at all when the result was the same?
~~~~~
Ellen poured a cup of tea, wishing that the wall between her room and Dana’s wasn’t quite so thin-or that the girl had gone to Connor’s room, farther down the hall. She was honestly happy for the two of them; Connor was a calming influence on Dana, and their relationship made her job that much easier because they no longer were relying on her for stability.
That didn’t make it easier to sleep at night, however.
Sensing a presence behind her, Ellen turned to see Spike in the doorway, looking as though he was ready to run.
“Tea?”
He hesitated, and Ellen knew that he’d been avoiding her deliberately over the last few days since his arrival. “I don’t bite, you know.”
Spike nodded, still looking wary. “Yeah, thanks.”
She poured a second cup. “Would you like to tell my why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“If I said no?”
“Then we’d probably make small talk, and when you’d finished your tea, you’d rejoin your Slayer,” she said knowingly. “I don’t think you’re very good at small talk.”
“I’m not.” He cleared his throat. “Miriam said you could help me.”
Ellen could sense how difficult it had been for him to utter those words. He didn’t like to admit that he needed help, nor did he like to ask for it. “I can. Did she give you something for the nightmares?”
Spike nodded, looking down into his tea. “Yeah. It’s been helping, but…”
“Oh, lad,” she murmured, stepping closer to him and putting her hand on his cheek. “Such a dark road you’ve walked.”
He shook his head. “I know it’s not her, Ellen. I know she didn’t do any of it, but…”
Ellen took a deep breath. She hadn’t realized it before, but it was much easier to work with Spike now that he was human. Entering a vampire’s psyche had been difficult, and probably a bit dangerous as well. “Close your eyes.”
Spike did as he was told, and she took a deep breath, centering herself for the work ahead. Because Connor and Dana needed her so little these days, she had more strength to give.
When she opened her eyes again, she felt drained, but she could see from Spike’s face that some invisible burden had been lifted. “What-”
“I did what I always do. It will feel more like a bad dream now, as though it happened to someone else. In time, your memories of that time will fade completely. I’m afraid that you’ll most likely still have nightmares, but they will disappear when you wake.”
“Thanks.” His voice was hoarse, and she could see the real gratitude in his eyes. There was still a shadow there, however, and Ellen knew what had caused it.
“Spike-William, Buffy truly does not care that you’re human now, but I think you do.”
He backed up a step. “It’s fine.”
“Have you ever thought about the fact that had you remained a vampire, you would one day lose her to old age, or illness? She would die, and you would be left behind. Be grateful for the opportunity to grow old together. Not everyone is offered that chance.”
She could see him swallow. “I know.” He raised his cup. “Thanks again.”
He left then, but Ellen knew that he would think about what she said, and that was all she asked. Eventually, he would come to accept what had happened.
She had made certain of it.
~~~~~
Faith lounged on the bed, watching avidly as Wesley undressed. The hardships of the last year had resulted in a chiseled physique without an ounce of fat-not surprising, considering the hours of physical activity and the often-inadequate rations. Faith couldn’t say that she minded.
“See something you like?” he asked, tossing his t-shirt over the arm of a chair.
She smiled, raising an eyebrow. “I could ask you the same thing. You were the one who took so long to finish up.” There had been two jobs to do, and in the spirit of friendly competition, she, Buffy, and Dana had taken one, while Spike, Wesley, and Connor had been assigned the other. The other Slayers had been either been assigned to the hotel or routine patrol.
The women had beat the men back by well over an hour.
“I think we had a little more to do.”
Faith snorted. “You just don’t want to admit defeat. Girls rule.”
“In Amazonia? Always,” Wesley responded readily.
“Get over here,” she ordered, pleased when he obeyed. His kiss was rough and needy, demanding. Faith’s need for him overwhelmed her, rising up and filling her. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but she couldn’t imagine her life without him anymore.
Wesley rolled them both over so that she was on top, his hands gripping her tightly, as though to prevent her from fleeing. She understood why a moment later.
“I love you.”
She tensed, reading the truth in his eyes. Faith couldn’t deny it, not when they had been together for so long, not when she felt the same way.
“I love you, too.”
And even though the words still felt foreign, the feelings were as comfortable as her favorite pair of jeans. This was something she could count on to last, and Faith had plenty of evidence to support that theory.
~~~~~
Everyone had known that Buffy had been looking for Spike, but Leslie hadn’t quite understood what those who knew them meant when they said “Buffy and Spike,” as though it was almost one word.
She did now.
Looking at them from her position behind the hotel desk, Leslie watched as Spike said something that made Buffy laugh as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. It was kind of strange to see the public displays of affection; Wes and Faith weren’t nearly as obvious about their relationship.
Although, Leslie figured that if she hadn’t seen her boyfriend for over a year, she probably wouldn’t be able to keep her hands off of him either.
“How’s it coming?” Caridad asked, looking at the college admission application.
Leslie made a face. “Let’s just say that I’m glad my SAT scores are still good. This is bad enough.”
Caridad snorted. “Les, you’d kick ass on the SAT if you had to take it again. You’re probably the smartest one here-other than Wes.”
“Maybe I should have been a Watcher,” Leslie joked.
Caridad shook her head. “Nah. You’d never stay out of the action.”
Leslie grinned. “You’re right about that.”
“Okay, somebody convince Wes and Faith that tonight is a night for pizza,” Uta begged, hopping up to sit on the counter in a smooth, practiced motion, crossing her legs. “I mean, Buffy and Spike are leaving tomorrow, right? So we should celebrate.”
“Celebrate our leaving?” Spike called across the lobby.
Leslie hid a laugh as Uta flushed. “She meant that she wants to give you a proper send-off,” Phoebe supplied, mirroring Uta’s position. “But if we get pizza, I say we make it a real party and send somebody out for beer.”
“I don’t think you’re old enough to drink,” Buffy said, frowning.
“I am,” Caridad said. “Just turned 21 last week.”
“And we didn’t have a party for her,” Uta pointed out triumphantly. “See? I say we party!”
Buffy shot a look at Spike, and Leslie watched as they seemed to communicate silently. “We haven’t had the traditional post-apocalyptic celebration yet,” she said slowly.
“I was getting hazard pay while I was gone,” Spike put in. “I’ll take care of it. Why not celebrate while we’ve got the chance?”
Leslie knew exactly what he meant. They had all seen more than enough suffering and death to know that it was important to enjoy life whenever you had the chance.
And pizza and beer sounded like exactly what they needed.
~~~~~
Buffy didn’t remember the last time she’d had so much fun. Everyone old enough to drink had gotten pleasantly buzzed, and at some point Abby had pulled out her slingshot for an impromptu contest. Considering that it was Abby’s weapon of choice, it was not surprising that she had won, although the fact that Wesley was a close second had been a bit of a surprise.
For the first time in what felt like years, Buffy had been able to completely relax, surrounded by people she knew, and who knew her well. They had all been through the fire together, and survived, and Buffy allowed herself to believe that everything might be okay.
She was flushed with alcohol when she and Spike finally made it to their room, and maybe feeling a little braver than she might have been without it.
“Spike?”
He was stretched out on the bed, hands behind his head, eyes closed. His cheeks were slightly flushed, and Buffy suddenly wondered how drunk he was. As a vampire, he could drink almost indefinitely without feeling the effects; that was no longer the case.
For a moment, she thought he’d gone to sleep, but one blue eye finally cracked open. “Yeah?”
“How are you?”
He closed his eyes again, tightly, as though her question had pained him, and she went to sit next to him on the side of the bed, resting one hand on his bare chest. “Please, Spike.”
His eyes finally opened. “Right now, I’m a bit pissed.” The hurt must have shown on her face, thinking that her question had angered him, because he sighed. “I meant drunk, luv. I’ve had a few, an’ I forgot what that will do to a human.”
She nodded, realizing that he wasn’t going to answer her question, and she started to rise. His hand covered hers where it rested on his chest. “I’m okay, Buffy.”
Looking away, not wanting to see his expression for this, she asked, “And being human? Are you okay with that, too?”
“I’ve been thinkin’ a lot about that,” he admitted. “I won’t say it’s something I wanted, but then again, I never thought it was a possibility.”
They were both quiet, and Buffy wondered what he would say next. “Ellen said somethin’ to me about that. She reminded me that we’ve got the chance to grow old together.”
Buffy managed a smile. “We do.”
He rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. “What would you think about getting married?”
“What?”
“Just a question. Think about it, but-”
“Yes.” The word was out of her mouth before she even realized that she meant it, but she did. Months of being separated had told Buffy exactly how much she loved him, how much she needed him. “Not right away, but yes. I want to marry you.”
A slow smile spread across his face. “Okay, then.”
They didn’t get much sleep that night.
Previous parts can be found here.
Chapter 11
“Day 400: Things are getting better here. We’ve been able to open up more of our section, and I know the others are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. But if we get through here, and I still haven’t found Spike… I don’t know what will happen then. I can’t leave without him.” ~Excerpt from the diary of Buffy Summers
Wesley scanned the crowd standing around the baggage claim for any sign of Buffy, Spike, or the two Slayers they had with them. “Do you see them?”
Faith shook her head. “No. I think-” She broke off. “I think we’ve been found.”
Wesley caught sight of Abby weaving her way through the crowd, grinning broadly. She stopped just as she reached them, her expression now a little shy. “Hey.”
“I almost didn’t recognize you, Abby,” Wesley said. “I think you must have grown six inches.”
“Only four.” She blushed as she said it. She’d grown quite a bit, losing the baby fat and turning into a tall, well-built young woman who looked older than barely fifteen. “It’s good to see you guys.”
“We’ve got your room all ready for you, kid,” Faith replied. “It’s good to have you back.”
Her grin broadened at that. “It’s good to be back. I know Talia wishes she could stay.”
“How is she?” Wesley asked. He remembered the rush to get her out of the city, and the fear that they would lose her.
Abby shook her head. “Still really stiff. Nobody knows if it’s permanent or not, but she’s doing good, all things considered. Buffy and Spike didn’t want her trying to push through the crowd, but they didn’t want to tell her that either.”
She led the way to an area out of the way of the crush of people. Buffy and Talia were talking animatedly, although Wesley couldn’t quite make out the subject of their conversation. “Wes!” Buffy greeted him enthusiastically, giving him a hug, and then doing the same with Faith. He noted that the gesture wasn’t as awkward as he might have expected it to be. “You guys are looking good.”
“The hotel is almost like a resort now,” Faith replied. “Gotta say, I feel like I’m on vacation half the time.”
“Same here,” Buffy agreed.
“How is Spike?” Wesley asked, keeping his voice low.
She shrugged uncomfortably. “Good, I think. It’s a transition for both of us.”
“Where is Spike?” Faith asked.
“Men’s room.” Buffy’s smile was bright and genuine. “He’s still getting used to that part of being human.”
Talia snickered. “That and having his ears pop on the flight.”
Although Wesley could sense some uneasiness under the surface, it was clear that Buffy was doing a lot better than she had been before leaving L.A. “I take it he’s getting used to being human.”
“Getting there.” Spike’s voice came from behind him, and Wesley jumped. “A little on edge, Watcher?”
“I think we’re all still on edge,” was Wesley’s dry response. “Can we help with the luggage?”
He made sure to grab Talia’s bag, not wanting the girl to be taxed more than necessary.
Spike and the two girls were quiet as Buffy asked about some of the Slayers she’d left behind. The gossip was soothing-normal. Wesley didn’t think that he was the only one who found normality strange these days.
~~~~~
“You kept it, huh?” Buffy asked, looking around the room.
Faith shrugged. “We figured you’d be back, and there are plenty of rooms. We can afford to keep one reserved for you.”
“How are things, really?”
They were alone. Talia had wanted to see everything that had changed while she’d been gone, and Spike had appeared interested in getting the grand tour, as had Abby. Buffy suspected that Wesley had known that she and Faith wanted to catch up.
Oddly enough, her relationship with Faith was definitely a sisterly one at this point.
“It’s good,” Faith replied. “Weird, you know, but good. We’re pulling in plenty of business. I meant to ask you and Spike if you wanted to help out while you were here, or if you really were on vacation.”
“If you need us,” Buffy said. “We haven’t done much of that since we left.”
“How are you?”
Buffy took a deep breath. “I don’t know. It’s just-I never thought we’d make it this far.”
“Me neither.”
There was a companionable silence, then Faith said, “Wes mentioned marriage the other day.”
Buffy’s eyes went wide. “Really?”
“Not seriously.” Faith didn’t meet her eyes. “I mean, it wasn’t a proposal or anything, more of a comment that it might be cool someday.”
“What did you say?”
“I said that maybe it would be.” She snorted. “Listen to us, B. You ever think we’d be here?”
Buffy shook her head, walking over to the window and looking out. The view was familiar and not at the same time. Everything was different now; there were moments when she felt as though she was living someone else’s life. “No. I don’t think I believed I’d get him back.” She turned, facing Faith, leaning against the windowsill. “Don’t tell Spike, but I miss Angel.”
“Me, too. We never made things right. I didn’t think he’d die.”
“Nobody ever thinks it could happen.” After a pause, Buffy changed the subject. “How are Connor and Dana?” Buffy asked. They were the two that everyone was probably most worried about once things opened up again.
Faith rolled her eyes. “They’re humping like bunnies is what they’re doing. Apparently they’ve decided that since there aren’t as many demons to kill, they can spend their free time with each other.” She grinned reluctantly. “Ellen is pleased, though. Connor’s memories of having a normal life are ‘giving him some balance,’ which helps Dana.” She made air quotes to indicate that those were Ellen’s words, not hers.
“Could be worse,” Buffy commented.
They both sobered, their eyes meeting. “It could always be worse,” Faith agreed. “Most of the time it is.”
Buffy straightened. “You got anything to eat around here? I’m starving.”
Faith just laughed. “With half a dozen Slayers around plus Connor, we keep the kitchen stocked.”
~~~~~
The hotel was much like he’d remembered it. Spike had sensed that Buffy wanted some time alone with Faith, and he hadn’t minded getting the tour with Abby and Talia.
“We’re discussing changing the training room around,” Wes commented as the girls tried out the throwing knives. Spike hadn’t been terribly surprised when they’d picked them up; put a Slayer in a room full of weapons, and she was going to be drawn to them.
“Moving it upstairs?”
“Something like that. Safety is no longer the issue that it was.” Wesley lowered his voice. “Giles told me that you wanted to see Ellen alone while you’re here.”
“That was his idea-his an’ Miriam’s. They think she can help.”
“She’s done wonders for Connor and Dana.” Wesley was quiet for a moment. “Nightmares?”
He shrugged, unwilling to get into it. “How are the girls settling in?”
“Better than I might have expected,” Wesley admitted. “Leslie is applying to UCLA. I don’t think she’ll have any trouble being accepted. Some of the other girls are talking about college as well.”
“Good for them.” Spike meant it. He well knew that age would eventually become a factor for a Slayer, and it wouldn’t hurt the girls to have a fallback plan.
After all, not every Slayer and shanshued vampire could get teaching positions.
Spike caught Wesley looking at him out of the corner of his eye. “Spit it out.”
“How is it? Being human?”
Spike sighed, tired of giving his stock answer, and knowing that he didn’t have to worry about hurting the other man’s feelings. “I don’t mind most of the time.”
“And the rest of the time?”
“Let’s just say I’ve decided that it isn’t worth the trouble of getting turned again. Doesn’t mean I have to enjoy every heartbeat.”
What Spike didn’t say was that being with Buffy made it all worthwhile, and being human made that just a little bit easier.
There was one question that had been niggling at him, though, ever since Buffy had passed along the information Wesley had given her about the shanshu.
“Can I ask you somethin’?”
“Of course.” Wesley looked at Spike, clearly giving him his full attention.
Spike moved his shoulders uncomfortably. “About this prophecy-did it say anything about Slayer blood?”
Wesley’s expression turned knowing. “Ah. I see. Buffy told me what happened. In truth, I’m not sure that her blood had anything to do with it.”
“What do you mean?”
“The prophecy said specifically that the souled vampire would undergo many trials before the shanshu, but can you be said to have experienced those trials if you don’t remember them?” Wesley shrugged. “It’s a philosophical question, of course, and I’m not sure it matters in your case.”
“You’re saying that the Slayer’s blood brought me back, an’ because of that, I turned human?”
Wesley shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. Prophecies are notoriously cryptic, and this one was no different.”
Spike fell silent, thinking about the implications of it all. He thought perhaps that Wesley was right. Did the mechanics mean anything at all when the result was the same?
~~~~~
Ellen poured a cup of tea, wishing that the wall between her room and Dana’s wasn’t quite so thin-or that the girl had gone to Connor’s room, farther down the hall. She was honestly happy for the two of them; Connor was a calming influence on Dana, and their relationship made her job that much easier because they no longer were relying on her for stability.
That didn’t make it easier to sleep at night, however.
Sensing a presence behind her, Ellen turned to see Spike in the doorway, looking as though he was ready to run.
“Tea?”
He hesitated, and Ellen knew that he’d been avoiding her deliberately over the last few days since his arrival. “I don’t bite, you know.”
Spike nodded, still looking wary. “Yeah, thanks.”
She poured a second cup. “Would you like to tell my why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“If I said no?”
“Then we’d probably make small talk, and when you’d finished your tea, you’d rejoin your Slayer,” she said knowingly. “I don’t think you’re very good at small talk.”
“I’m not.” He cleared his throat. “Miriam said you could help me.”
Ellen could sense how difficult it had been for him to utter those words. He didn’t like to admit that he needed help, nor did he like to ask for it. “I can. Did she give you something for the nightmares?”
Spike nodded, looking down into his tea. “Yeah. It’s been helping, but…”
“Oh, lad,” she murmured, stepping closer to him and putting her hand on his cheek. “Such a dark road you’ve walked.”
He shook his head. “I know it’s not her, Ellen. I know she didn’t do any of it, but…”
Ellen took a deep breath. She hadn’t realized it before, but it was much easier to work with Spike now that he was human. Entering a vampire’s psyche had been difficult, and probably a bit dangerous as well. “Close your eyes.”
Spike did as he was told, and she took a deep breath, centering herself for the work ahead. Because Connor and Dana needed her so little these days, she had more strength to give.
When she opened her eyes again, she felt drained, but she could see from Spike’s face that some invisible burden had been lifted. “What-”
“I did what I always do. It will feel more like a bad dream now, as though it happened to someone else. In time, your memories of that time will fade completely. I’m afraid that you’ll most likely still have nightmares, but they will disappear when you wake.”
“Thanks.” His voice was hoarse, and she could see the real gratitude in his eyes. There was still a shadow there, however, and Ellen knew what had caused it.
“Spike-William, Buffy truly does not care that you’re human now, but I think you do.”
He backed up a step. “It’s fine.”
“Have you ever thought about the fact that had you remained a vampire, you would one day lose her to old age, or illness? She would die, and you would be left behind. Be grateful for the opportunity to grow old together. Not everyone is offered that chance.”
She could see him swallow. “I know.” He raised his cup. “Thanks again.”
He left then, but Ellen knew that he would think about what she said, and that was all she asked. Eventually, he would come to accept what had happened.
She had made certain of it.
~~~~~
Faith lounged on the bed, watching avidly as Wesley undressed. The hardships of the last year had resulted in a chiseled physique without an ounce of fat-not surprising, considering the hours of physical activity and the often-inadequate rations. Faith couldn’t say that she minded.
“See something you like?” he asked, tossing his t-shirt over the arm of a chair.
She smiled, raising an eyebrow. “I could ask you the same thing. You were the one who took so long to finish up.” There had been two jobs to do, and in the spirit of friendly competition, she, Buffy, and Dana had taken one, while Spike, Wesley, and Connor had been assigned the other. The other Slayers had been either been assigned to the hotel or routine patrol.
The women had beat the men back by well over an hour.
“I think we had a little more to do.”
Faith snorted. “You just don’t want to admit defeat. Girls rule.”
“In Amazonia? Always,” Wesley responded readily.
“Get over here,” she ordered, pleased when he obeyed. His kiss was rough and needy, demanding. Faith’s need for him overwhelmed her, rising up and filling her. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but she couldn’t imagine her life without him anymore.
Wesley rolled them both over so that she was on top, his hands gripping her tightly, as though to prevent her from fleeing. She understood why a moment later.
“I love you.”
She tensed, reading the truth in his eyes. Faith couldn’t deny it, not when they had been together for so long, not when she felt the same way.
“I love you, too.”
And even though the words still felt foreign, the feelings were as comfortable as her favorite pair of jeans. This was something she could count on to last, and Faith had plenty of evidence to support that theory.
~~~~~
Everyone had known that Buffy had been looking for Spike, but Leslie hadn’t quite understood what those who knew them meant when they said “Buffy and Spike,” as though it was almost one word.
She did now.
Looking at them from her position behind the hotel desk, Leslie watched as Spike said something that made Buffy laugh as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. It was kind of strange to see the public displays of affection; Wes and Faith weren’t nearly as obvious about their relationship.
Although, Leslie figured that if she hadn’t seen her boyfriend for over a year, she probably wouldn’t be able to keep her hands off of him either.
“How’s it coming?” Caridad asked, looking at the college admission application.
Leslie made a face. “Let’s just say that I’m glad my SAT scores are still good. This is bad enough.”
Caridad snorted. “Les, you’d kick ass on the SAT if you had to take it again. You’re probably the smartest one here-other than Wes.”
“Maybe I should have been a Watcher,” Leslie joked.
Caridad shook her head. “Nah. You’d never stay out of the action.”
Leslie grinned. “You’re right about that.”
“Okay, somebody convince Wes and Faith that tonight is a night for pizza,” Uta begged, hopping up to sit on the counter in a smooth, practiced motion, crossing her legs. “I mean, Buffy and Spike are leaving tomorrow, right? So we should celebrate.”
“Celebrate our leaving?” Spike called across the lobby.
Leslie hid a laugh as Uta flushed. “She meant that she wants to give you a proper send-off,” Phoebe supplied, mirroring Uta’s position. “But if we get pizza, I say we make it a real party and send somebody out for beer.”
“I don’t think you’re old enough to drink,” Buffy said, frowning.
“I am,” Caridad said. “Just turned 21 last week.”
“And we didn’t have a party for her,” Uta pointed out triumphantly. “See? I say we party!”
Buffy shot a look at Spike, and Leslie watched as they seemed to communicate silently. “We haven’t had the traditional post-apocalyptic celebration yet,” she said slowly.
“I was getting hazard pay while I was gone,” Spike put in. “I’ll take care of it. Why not celebrate while we’ve got the chance?”
Leslie knew exactly what he meant. They had all seen more than enough suffering and death to know that it was important to enjoy life whenever you had the chance.
And pizza and beer sounded like exactly what they needed.
~~~~~
Buffy didn’t remember the last time she’d had so much fun. Everyone old enough to drink had gotten pleasantly buzzed, and at some point Abby had pulled out her slingshot for an impromptu contest. Considering that it was Abby’s weapon of choice, it was not surprising that she had won, although the fact that Wesley was a close second had been a bit of a surprise.
For the first time in what felt like years, Buffy had been able to completely relax, surrounded by people she knew, and who knew her well. They had all been through the fire together, and survived, and Buffy allowed herself to believe that everything might be okay.
She was flushed with alcohol when she and Spike finally made it to their room, and maybe feeling a little braver than she might have been without it.
“Spike?”
He was stretched out on the bed, hands behind his head, eyes closed. His cheeks were slightly flushed, and Buffy suddenly wondered how drunk he was. As a vampire, he could drink almost indefinitely without feeling the effects; that was no longer the case.
For a moment, she thought he’d gone to sleep, but one blue eye finally cracked open. “Yeah?”
“How are you?”
He closed his eyes again, tightly, as though her question had pained him, and she went to sit next to him on the side of the bed, resting one hand on his bare chest. “Please, Spike.”
His eyes finally opened. “Right now, I’m a bit pissed.” The hurt must have shown on her face, thinking that her question had angered him, because he sighed. “I meant drunk, luv. I’ve had a few, an’ I forgot what that will do to a human.”
She nodded, realizing that he wasn’t going to answer her question, and she started to rise. His hand covered hers where it rested on his chest. “I’m okay, Buffy.”
Looking away, not wanting to see his expression for this, she asked, “And being human? Are you okay with that, too?”
“I’ve been thinkin’ a lot about that,” he admitted. “I won’t say it’s something I wanted, but then again, I never thought it was a possibility.”
They were both quiet, and Buffy wondered what he would say next. “Ellen said somethin’ to me about that. She reminded me that we’ve got the chance to grow old together.”
Buffy managed a smile. “We do.”
He rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. “What would you think about getting married?”
“What?”
“Just a question. Think about it, but-”
“Yes.” The word was out of her mouth before she even realized that she meant it, but she did. Months of being separated had told Buffy exactly how much she loved him, how much she needed him. “Not right away, but yes. I want to marry you.”
A slow smile spread across his face. “Okay, then.”
They didn’t get much sleep that night.