An open entry! On LJ Friends and Drama
I haven't posted a public entry that had anything personal in it since the days of Kristina and her whole drama-queen bit. In fact, she's the reason I went to a friends-only journal. Since then, I have been fortunate enough to give her a wide berth, as far as I know, though I truly hope all is well in her world.
But this entry isn't about that.
No, this entry was inspired by some drama that is happening in another friend's LJ. He posted some . . . er . . . more avant-garde photos in his LJ back in October and he was just recently unfriended by someone who cited these photos as the reason. Now the photos are . . . interesting, I suppose. But they were behind an LJ cut and my friend clearly warned that they were NWS and even called them "hard-core porn." So if someone wasn't into such things, there really was no reason to click to look behind the cut. Plus, this particular friend probably posts more LJ entries than the majority of LJ users, so his ratio of non-tasteful (and that's not my assessment of the pics, but it obviously was the assessment of the unfriender) to tasteful posts is probably better than mine. (Not that I post any pictures, ever! I'm far too ignorant of html to do stuff like that!)
Anyway, as the drama plays out in my friend's corner of the world, it got me to thinking about this whole LJ Drama stuff and Friends and what-not. Ya see, there's this guy I want to friend: wilyumz. He's a displaced New Orleaner (is that what you call them?) who happens to be a long-time HIV-positive person. He's got a wickedly funny sense of humor and he just seems like the kind of guy whose LJ I'd want to keep up with.
The problem (and I've explained this in my comments on his LJ) is that I have some really paranoid friends on my LJ. However, in analyzing this situation, I realize that my paranoid friends are all vampires. Now I cut all but five vampire user names from my friends list; and of those five names, three are basically no longer used. So let's say that I have two vampires on my friends list now. I have a handful more friends who do or have done vampire RP.
More than once, I've been chided for talking about vampire RP in my LJ. There are people who believe that I have utterly betrayed them because I mentioned them in my LJ. Forget that I don't mention names or locations. Forget filters. Forget that I truly trust the few who are on my friends list. Forget that the great majority of my friends couldn't care less about vampire RP anyway. Forget that the great majority of my friends probably never make it past the first couple of paragraphs of my dribble on any given day. I am as black as Satan himself and just as unredeemable.
Now the question that I could be asked is "Why are you still friending these folks?" Well, I have two compelling reasons. The first reason is that these folks are damn good writers, and I want to read what they write. I check my Friends Page on a regular basis. However, I have neither the time nor the inclination to go look up a half-dozen LJs which aren't on my friends list. On those days when I am sufficiently bored, I have other things to do than to browse through Live Journal. So those vampires whose work I don't want to miss, I friend.
The other reason is that I really do like and care about these folks. Now I know that probably sounds really trite. However, it is true. I am intensely loyal to my online friends . . . even those who feel that I have betrayed them. I started participating in vampire RP six years ago. Six. How old were you six years ago? I was 39. I am not a kid. I am not a fly-by-night friend (no pun intended --grin--). I made the comment to someone that time was on my side to prove my sincerity. (Heh, she responded that I was correct because time would make people forget how horribly I had betrayed them.)
However, I would challenge anyone here to observe me for six years and then judge how "flighty" you think I am. I think you will find that if I continue to friend you, it is because you mean something to me. Even my paranoid friends should realize that by now. I am not a back-stabber, either. Even my accusers can attest that what I do, I do openly, for better or for worse.
Anyway . . .
All of this to say that I'm going to friend wilyumz. No, I don't know him very well. However, I really don't think he's into vampires. I "met" him through a comment that someone else (not even wilyumz) made in another friend's LJ that cited something he had written. (Talk about a friend of a friend of a friend!) I make a solemn oath to all my vampire friends not to tell wilyumz anything about you, okay? (As if he cares one way or the other!) It seems really stupid that I should have to defend my choice to friend anyone. However, it is because I care about my paranoid friends that I explain what I'm doing before I do it.
Meanwhile . . .
If you've read this far, I want to wish you the merriest of Christmases and the best in the upcoming New Year. No matter who you are, friend or stranger or even enemy (though I don't have many of those, thankfully!), my sincerest wish is that all is right in your world this holiday season.
But this entry isn't about that.
No, this entry was inspired by some drama that is happening in another friend's LJ. He posted some . . . er . . . more avant-garde photos in his LJ back in October and he was just recently unfriended by someone who cited these photos as the reason. Now the photos are . . . interesting, I suppose. But they were behind an LJ cut and my friend clearly warned that they were NWS and even called them "hard-core porn." So if someone wasn't into such things, there really was no reason to click to look behind the cut. Plus, this particular friend probably posts more LJ entries than the majority of LJ users, so his ratio of non-tasteful (and that's not my assessment of the pics, but it obviously was the assessment of the unfriender) to tasteful posts is probably better than mine. (Not that I post any pictures, ever! I'm far too ignorant of html to do stuff like that!)
Anyway, as the drama plays out in my friend's corner of the world, it got me to thinking about this whole LJ Drama stuff and Friends and what-not. Ya see, there's this guy I want to friend: wilyumz. He's a displaced New Orleaner (is that what you call them?) who happens to be a long-time HIV-positive person. He's got a wickedly funny sense of humor and he just seems like the kind of guy whose LJ I'd want to keep up with.
The problem (and I've explained this in my comments on his LJ) is that I have some really paranoid friends on my LJ. However, in analyzing this situation, I realize that my paranoid friends are all vampires. Now I cut all but five vampire user names from my friends list; and of those five names, three are basically no longer used. So let's say that I have two vampires on my friends list now. I have a handful more friends who do or have done vampire RP.
More than once, I've been chided for talking about vampire RP in my LJ. There are people who believe that I have utterly betrayed them because I mentioned them in my LJ. Forget that I don't mention names or locations. Forget filters. Forget that I truly trust the few who are on my friends list. Forget that the great majority of my friends couldn't care less about vampire RP anyway. Forget that the great majority of my friends probably never make it past the first couple of paragraphs of my dribble on any given day. I am as black as Satan himself and just as unredeemable.
Now the question that I could be asked is "Why are you still friending these folks?" Well, I have two compelling reasons. The first reason is that these folks are damn good writers, and I want to read what they write. I check my Friends Page on a regular basis. However, I have neither the time nor the inclination to go look up a half-dozen LJs which aren't on my friends list. On those days when I am sufficiently bored, I have other things to do than to browse through Live Journal. So those vampires whose work I don't want to miss, I friend.
The other reason is that I really do like and care about these folks. Now I know that probably sounds really trite. However, it is true. I am intensely loyal to my online friends . . . even those who feel that I have betrayed them. I started participating in vampire RP six years ago. Six. How old were you six years ago? I was 39. I am not a kid. I am not a fly-by-night friend (no pun intended --grin--). I made the comment to someone that time was on my side to prove my sincerity. (Heh, she responded that I was correct because time would make people forget how horribly I had betrayed them.)
However, I would challenge anyone here to observe me for six years and then judge how "flighty" you think I am. I think you will find that if I continue to friend you, it is because you mean something to me. Even my paranoid friends should realize that by now. I am not a back-stabber, either. Even my accusers can attest that what I do, I do openly, for better or for worse.
Anyway . . .
All of this to say that I'm going to friend wilyumz. No, I don't know him very well. However, I really don't think he's into vampires. I "met" him through a comment that someone else (not even wilyumz) made in another friend's LJ that cited something he had written. (Talk about a friend of a friend of a friend!) I make a solemn oath to all my vampire friends not to tell wilyumz anything about you, okay? (As if he cares one way or the other!) It seems really stupid that I should have to defend my choice to friend anyone. However, it is because I care about my paranoid friends that I explain what I'm doing before I do it.
Meanwhile . . .
If you've read this far, I want to wish you the merriest of Christmases and the best in the upcoming New Year. No matter who you are, friend or stranger or even enemy (though I don't have many of those, thankfully!), my sincerest wish is that all is right in your world this holiday season.